I've HAD it. Parents v. Non-Parents at work

[ols386]

The OP's rant is directed at the wrong people.
If your employer if flexible enough to allow people to take time off when they need to take care of their kids, than that is the employers choice.
If you are being expected to work more because you don't have kids, I would definitely take that up with your employer. It has absolutely nothing to do with your co-workers.

I agree. If this is an issue in your workplace/office, instead of fuming and getting yourself all worked up over it, take it up with your supervisor or manager.

 

[MoonFaerie]

Sure, some parents take advantage of it, but so do some people without kids.

Pre-kids, dh & I always offered to work holidays. We figured that would balance out with when we had small kids and wanted to be off on a few of them. That didn't work out at all. Dh always has to work Christmas Eve and Halloween (they're closed Christmas, Thanksgiving & Easter), even though there's only one other person he works with that has kids. We've never been able to go out on New Years Eve. Such is life though, and either you deal or make changes.

The only times he's called in because of the kids were both times when I was in labor, and the time dd almost cut off 2 of her fingers. If anyone has a problem with those few days, I will cut them.

 

[hereyago]

I have a DD11 and DM76 and you know what? I have had to take off once for DD almost passing out at school in 5th grade and I took a LOA when DM fell and broke her hip.

BUT: I am the same one who would ask if anyone needed help, but after a certain time, it would be expected of me. Everyone has to work as a team, but if it is a constant thing, then management needs to step up, regardless if there are kids involved.

One lady who was older than me, her kids were grown and she was a weak link in the company. I stopped seeing if she needed help because some people expect it and won't better themselves. Then everyone would have to go help her. Finally I had enough and I am really low key, but I told my boss it would be the last time I would help her and if she can't do her job she needs to go. I
wasn't asked anymore to help her, but other people who didnt say anything to the boss did.

 

[rie'smom]

Have you ever asked? If one of my coworkers wanted to take time off, and had covered for me, I'd GLADLY cover for them, but they'd need to ask because I can't read their minds

No one I know is a mind reader.

 

[TDC Nala]

Where I work, if they have to leave they must take some of their sick or annual leave (depending on the issue), request an advance on their upcoming leave, or use leave without pay. They don't just get to go home. If I stay and do their work it means I don't have to use my leave. And maybe they don't have enough leave left to take a vacation, whereas I do.

I did some years ago have a co-worker who complained that I had been given a work-performance monetary award because she thought I would "waste" it, having no family to spend it on, and she thought it would be better to give extra cash to an employee who had a child (like her). Hadn't thought about how much time she took off in comparison with me, but come to think of it, it might have been an interesting comparison.

 

[sunshine1178]

Thursday I called in sick because my 10 month old and I both had a stomach bug. Friday I went in for 45 minutes to finish an award entry that was due by 4pm, but had to leave immediately after because the baby puked.

I was feeling guilty anyway, but this thread brought me to a whole new level. I just spent $45 on a case of Newmans Own hot salsa because the man who mostly covered for me mentioned ONCE that he loves it but can't find it in Chicago anymore.

OP, is that enough penance?

 

[Disney Doll]

You know what OP?? I agree with you.
I spent a lot of years covering for people whose kids had problems. Did it happily. Only to, every year at holiday time, hear "Why do you need Christmas off? You don't have kids". So I'd end up working Christmas Day so that the people with kids could "spend Christmas with their family".

Well a couple of years ago, I got the same speech. And you know what, I said "No, I'll be taking Christmas off because I'd like to spend it with MY family" I do have a husband, parents, siblings and siblings-in-law that would, once in a blue moon, actually like to see me on Christmas.

Then I was told I wasn't a "team player"...

 

[hereyago]

You know what Op?? I agree with you.
I spent a lot of years covering for people whose kids had problems. Did it happily. Only to, every year at holiday time, hear "Why do you need Christmas off? You don't have kids". So I'd end up working Christmas Day so that the people with kids could "spend Christmas with their family".

Well a couple of years ago, I got the same speech. And you know what, I said "No, I'll be taking Christmas off because I'd liek to spendit wiht MY family" I do have a husband, parents, siblings and siblings-in-law that would, once in a blue moon, actually like to see me on Christmas.

Then I was told I wasn't a "team player"...

See that reaks. You know, people mistake your kindness for weakness, then when you say no to something, then you are in the wrong-WTH?!

 

[disneyismyname]

With my experiences...I'd have to agree with the OP.

 

[drag n' fly]

Until you have walked a mile in someone's shoes Op you have no right to judge them. This is purely an issue netween you (Op) and management.

How would this thread be interpreted if it was reversed. I would never think to start a thread on a family board discussing how I was completely fed up with the non-kid people at work. You create a crap storm....you get crap.

 

[Mermaid02]

How about this? Just dont' do it anymore. Go in, do your job and leave when you are scheduled to leave.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

You know what Op?? I agree with you.
I spent a lot of years covering for people whose kids had problems. Did it happily. Only to, every year at holiday time, hear "Why do you need Christmas off? You don't have kids". So I'd end up working Christmas Day so that the people with kids could "spend Christmas with their family".

Well a couple of years ago, I got the same speech. And you know what, I said "No, I'll be taking Christmas off because I'd liek to spendit wiht MY family" I do have a husband, parents, siblings and siblings-in-law that would, once in a blue moon, actually like to see me on Christmas.

Then I was told I wasn't a "team player"...

OMG that kind of stuff makes me soooooo mad.

Halloween is notoriously known in the pizza world as being one of the busiest nights. At the pizza place I used to work at, if you had kids, you were automatically given the night off for having kids.

I'm sorry but it should be who ever asks for the night off first. This was one of the many messed up things with that place.

 

[cheermom1]

I didn't read all the replies but I have one thing to say and that is this: Why is it anyone else's responsibility to ASK you if you want to knock off a few hours early??? I mean you are NOT telling them I'll cover for you and you can go!! From what you have said they all ASK you if you will cover for them or they ask their boss to take off (in which case is not your place to say anything to the person talking but for you mention it to your boss).

Not to mention not all working parents take off like you have said. I know that in EVERY job I have had the people without kids missed the most and I know for a fact that the boss had to tell most of them to knock it off or they won't be employed any longer. I have had a lot of jobs and one as a boss and I will tell you this is what I have seen and heard as the people with kids KNOW they have to keep a job to support their kids.

Sorry but your complaint is really with your boss IF they are making you cover for the person that is gone.

 

[Disney Doll]

I would agree that the issue is with the manager who is allowing the people with children to have special treatment or allowing the OP to continually work extra or "cover" and then not figuring out a way for the OP to get credit for that...be it a day off, comp time or something that recognizes the OP's willingness to cover.

With my situation, I asked that my former manger look back on previous holiday schedules to see how many Christmas Days I had worked and then let me know if she still thought I wasn't a "team player" because I wanted one off in 12 years. I also told her that while she was at it, she could look at how many Easter Sundays I had worked so Mom could be home when the Easter Bunny came and also how many Halloweens I worked so Mom could go trick or treating with the kids. And I asked her to remeber while she was looking that I was Catholic and Easter was a significant holiday to me and that on occasion I might have liked to have gone to one of the many Halloween parties I had been invited to over the years had I not been required to work 3pm-11pm that dy.

Once the facts were checked, I never heard any more about it. The manager I have now is VERY fair to everyone in terms of who needs what time off for any family emergencies, issues, situations and she has no problem calling someone who has had many "children" emergencies and saying "I need you to cover for So-and-So because her mother is quite ill, she needs time off, and she has covered for you in the past". It makes everyone think very carefully about what they consider an "emergency"....

I will say that I have also learned to say no to those who I have learned historically will never reciprocate.

 

[cheermom1]

I would agree that the issue is with the manager who is allowing the people with children to have special treatment or allowing the OP to continually work extra or "cover" and then not figuring out a way for the OP to get credit for that...be it a day off, comp time or something that recognizes the OP's willingness to cover.

With my situation, I asked that my manger look back on previous holiday schedules to see how many Christmas Days I had worked and then let me know if she still thought I wasn't a "team player" because I wanted one off in 12 years. I also told her that while she was at it, she could look at how many Easter Sundays I had worked so Mom could be home when the Easter bunny came and also how many Halloweens I worked so Mom could go trick or treating with the kids.

Once the facts were checked, I never heard any more about it and the manager I have now is VERY fair to everyone in terms of who needs what time off for any family emergencies, issues, situations and she has no problem calling someone who has had many "children" emergencies and saying "I need you to cover for So-and-So because her mother is quite ill, she needs time off, and she has covered for you in the past". It makes everyone think very carefully about what they consider an "emergency"....

I will say that I have also learned to say no to those who I have learned historically will never reciprocate.

I do see your point and you did what you were supposed to do talk to your manager! good for you

As for the op she is asking for ALL her co workers to be a mind readers and asking them to do something for her that she is not willing to do for her coworkers and that is for them to be mind readers and ask her to leave so they can cover for her. I am willing to bet she NOT one time has come up to any of her coworkers and said "hey why don;t you take a couple hours off early to be with your kids or what not?"...

I am all for being fair and IF I was asked to cover for ANYONE be that they are single or parents or whatever I would b/c I know that sometime I will be the one asking. But the thing is you HAVE TO ASK!!!

And if she thinks she is getting a bum rap she needs to talk to her boss.

 

[luvsJack]

I have children and I can still see where the OP is coming from.

My dd has been on and off sick since Thanksgiving with mono. I took off the first week because she was contagious and I couldn't let her be around dgd (who stays with my mom during the day, my child care when dd's sick) but since then she has stayed with my mom. Prior to this year, I NEVER took off when dd was sick, I have always left her with mom. If she calls me from school, I go get her and take her to my mom on my lunch hour.

There are two of my co-workers that do things like the OP is venting about. My supervisor is one of the two; she has a 16 year old son and a 18 year old daughter still living at home. She takes off more with her 16 and 18 year olds than I do with dd! I will come in leaving dd at home very sick and she will call in because her 16 year old has a migraine. She will run out leaving early because the 18 year old needs something, leaving me to cover for her. The other one has younger kids but has to leave early or come in late almost every day because of something going on with her kids and many times I have to cover her phone (main office number so rings a LOT) plus try and do my own job. Neither of them ever even say thank you or seem to recognize what they do. Its gets to the point that they seem to just assume that I will be there and will cover for them. VERY frustrating.

It not so much that I want them to cover for me while I leave early (although it would be nice if my supervisor would at least offer), I am just tired of being taken for granted.