Its taken me awhile to get up the nerve to post this, but..

[KirstenB]

I'm so very sorry. My advice would be to consider a job in "financial services". In my case, I worked in operations for a large brokerage firm. But really, consider anything in banking. The benefits were really decent (flexible spending for medical and child care, 401 k with a dollar for dollar match, plus a separate pension plan, 3 weeks off per year, and what I considered decent pay for someone without a college degree). I have a degree, but many of my co-workers did not, and it didn't matter. You get off most holidays, usually work 40 hrs, 8-5, etc. Several of my co-workers were single moms, and they seemed happy about working there.

Anyway, the sooner you can nail down a job, the sooner you can get on with life, and it'll feel good to be independent. Again, I'm really sorry, but trying to focus on securing your family's future. Best of luck to you.

 

[taylor1293]

I am so very sorry.

Please contact a lawyer ASAP.

 

[ntburns22]

Hang in there and take care of yourself. It is a tough long road but you will get through it. I am getting stronger day by day and you will too. Feel free to PM me. The Dis is full of great people that have supported me when I needed it most.

 

[Pooh67_68]

 

[pearlieq]

I'm so sorry. I'm so impressed at how well it seems you've thought this through and made plans. You sound like a tough cookie who will land on her feet!

Please find a good lawyer. You are entitled to adequate child support and very likely alimony/spousal support/maintenance as well.

Also, be sure you've covered your legal bases with regards to your claim on his military pension and social security benefits for the time you were married. That's very valuable for your future and you should either have documentation/an order for your claim or significant consideration in the divorce settlement for signing away your claim.

Best wishes on getting this all sorted and getting settled in your new home.

 

[luv2nascar]

I'm so sorry you are going through a rough time. He sounds like a jerk who has moved on with someone else. Protect yourself and your kids. Hope you are feeling better soon.b

 

[remyandhollandsmommy]

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[Disney Ella]

I'm so sorry to hear this. It always sounded like you had such a nice family from your posts on the CB, and I can only imagine how devastating this is for you and the girls.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

I am so sorry!
My advice is to move back to your family ASAP so you and your kids will be surrounded with love and support.

 

[Kitty 34]

I'm sorry.

 

[Mkrop]

Please please go get a lawyer soon and a good one. Already too much time has passed! You need to do this for your kids!

I am so sorry you have to go through this!

 

[ocd4disney]

Yea, Oct 10th was our 10 year anniversary...

I am not sure how it works in Fl, but in Texas, if you have been married for 10 years then your ex has to pay for your schooling (it is a kind of alimony I think). DH and I were in marriage counseling for a long time after the birth of our second child. Most of it was my fault though , due to post partum depression. We worked it out eventually but it was very very hard. Anyway, my counselor told me a little about what I could get if I left. We had been married 10 years. Alot of lawyers will give you an initial consultation for free. You might want to ask what you are entitled too. I htink I could have gotten almost 25% of dh's pay and assistance with tuition since I was a SAHM all these years and I helped put him through school. Sorry, I know I am rambling, my point is that your ex might have to pay out alot more than he is expecting so be sure to talk to a lawyer. I am so sorry you have to go through this, I know how hard and scary it can be.

 

[DisMN]

I'm so sorry to hear this is happening to you. You do sound strong and determined though and it's great that you've already rounded up your support system!!

It's really odd how detatched he sounds, especially detatched from his own children.......or maybe that's normal for someone who wants out?

I'll keep you in my prayers.....

 

[Annie68]

I am so sorry . Please call an attorney ASAP & make sure you pull cash out of the bank, in case he decides to empty the accounts. You do not have to leave the house, and you will get a heck of a lot more than what he is offering money-wise .

 

[Miss Jasmine]

In Florida there is not required alimoney (can be negotiated but it's only in State Statutes as a "reasonable amount"), and as far as child support goes there is a matrix in Florida Statutes based on the father's and mother's income and then insurance comes into play as well.

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this.

ETA: Here are the laws in Florida with regard to divorce: http://www.leg.state.fl.us/Statutes...htm&StatuteYear=2006&Title=->2006->Chapter 61

 

[chobie]

10 years would be considered a medium term marriage. Florida courts will often grant "alimony" to allow a SAHM/SAHD to go to school and become gainfully employed. The goal is for the custodial parent to be in the same (or close) financial position as she/he was before the divorce.

 

[ctinct]

I am so sorry. PLEASE do not move out until you have seen a lawyer. There are potential legal ramifications to this.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Angela, I am so so so sorry to hear this. Are you sure there isn't a cookie on the side?? The only reason I'm asking is because he is awful anxious to move into a big empty house and he spent two grand in a month. The is a hell of a lot of beer and partying. You know as well as I do that the military DOES NOT take kindly to cheating and also just so you know the military does not recognize any sort of legal seperation or at least the army doesn't. He will be required to keep up all support until the final divorce papers are complete.
While you are in the process of divorcing, you are also entitled to his BAH or whatever the AF calls it.

I know that this isn't comfort to you but a good friend of mine is about to go through a divorce. Her husband came home and had made up his mind while deployed that they were going to get divorced and told her when she went to the hangar to pick him up. He is all kinds of messed up to be honest and needs some serious counseling alone and with his family but I don't see it happening. While you still have access to all things military I would reccomend going to employment help for spouses on post. They will help with paying for job skills training or help with anything you need to get a decent job. They have all kinds of contacts within the community, though I do understand that you plan to return to your family's town but at least you'd have a start with whatever the base(post??) could do for you.

Last thought, get an attorney in the town that is used to military stuff because it very much come down to chain of command getting involved if your husband starts being a horses butt. Please know that I'm praying for you and Holly and Remy.

 

[chobie]

In Florida there is no alimoney, and as far as child support goes there is a matrix in Florida Statutes based on the father's and mother's income and then insurance comes into play as well.

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this.

They have other terms for it. One is rehabilitative support for parents who have stayed at home to care for children.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

It's really odd how detatched he sounds, especially detatched from his own children.......or maybe that's normal for someone who wants out?

Interesting you pointed that out. It is odd. I wonder what is up with that?
Perhaps the OP can answer.