It's been a poopy week.

[TPCShauna]

I had my annual review this week and the feedback was good but I didn't get a raise. The official reason is that the economy is bad and it is not fiscally responsible to the company for them to provide raises to everyone. Never mind that all of the mucky-mucks got raises AND bonuses. And never mind that two people have left the department and I inherited parts of both of their jobs and am now doing twice as much work as I was 6 months ago.

Honestly, I'm not surprised that I didn't get a raise because I had been hearing rumblings from others that they hadn't gotten anything even though they had a good review. I just feel undervalued and I really hate my job.

As if work isn't bad enough, I had a follow-up appointment for my knee yesterday and I totally lost it in the doctors' office. My knee is slowly improving but I'm still having a lot of problems with it. I can't walk hardly any distance without it hurting and clicking really badly.

I feel like my quality of life had declined so drastically in the past year. DH and I take lots of mini trips to museums, aquariums and around town and I haven't done any of those this year. I badly want to do stuff but I'm not physically able and most places don't have wheelchairs/scooters to borrow.

That's another thing. I finally had to give up the thought that I would be able to walk during our December trip to the world and reserved a scooter. People at WDW are so nasty to people who use ECVs. If I'm not walking, it doesn't look like I have anything wrong with me, even though I have a cane. I just know people are going to be judging me when I'm riding around on the scooter and then they are going to be even more hateful when I'm able to get up and climb into a ride or walk to my table. I just didn't want to have to deal with all that but there is no physical way I can walk through the parks, hotel, etc. and I don't want to ruin our trip by trying.

I am just feeling really old and run-down at the moment. My doctor is being difficult about my disabled placard paperwork and my work restrictions and he wants to put me on anti-depressants in addition to the other 4,000 pills I'm taking. I'm not sleeping well and I'm completely grouchy and snapping at poor DH most of time. Work sucks. I am so discouraged. I feel like I'm never going to get better. And I don't even want to think about having a baby until I can walk so there's a big delay on that too.

I'm sorry to whine. I know there are so many people in way worse shape than I am. It just seems like there's never going to be an improvement and that makes me sad.

 

[disneynut14]

I am so sorry you are having such a tough time. Take it from someone who has had a rough 6 years. I just keep telling myself things can only get better. I also look at my children everyday and know I have been blessed in so many ways with them.

And don't you worry about what anybody thinks about you being on an ECV at Disney. What do you care! You will never see any of those people ever again and it is none of their business. You just enjoy your trip. Sounds like you really need it. Keep focusing on how much fun you are going to have!!!!

 

[rlovew]

Shauna, I am sorry you are feeling bad and for the problems with work. Feel free to vent to us- we are here for each other in the good and the bad and don't mind listening (reading) when you need to gripe.

Rebecca

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

Can I make you a really pretty name tag for your ECV?

I have to say, the only time I saw people give anyone on an ECV looks was during the "stampeeds". You know, the "Soarin'Stampeed", the "Space Mountain Stampeed", the "Everest'Every'Man'For'Himself" and the "Toy Story Toe Stompin'Stampeed". And those people gave EVERYONE a look who was in their way.

Nobody is going to give you a hard time about the ECV.

Sorry about the work thing. When I worked for a big company before my Eldest was born they had gave raises on a curve. If you were a big wig, you got a high percentage raise, along with a bonuse. If you were middle workers or lower, you got a lower percentage raise. HELLO!! Those big wigs are already making more money. Giving them a higher percentage was such a slap in the face. And this is when the economy was GOOD. I didn't make it past two reviews, one because my Eldest was born and two I would have left anyway.

I appreciate you.

 

[TPCShauna]

Thanks everyone.

AWM - That's how it works here except that they classify everyone as "Notable", "Vital" or "Top" and your raise is dependant upon your classification. The only people who get "Top" are the bigwigs and they get the largest raises. Whatever. They tried to make us all feel better by telling us they had lowered the brackets for each of the raise categories so even the top people got a smaller raise than normal. Yeah, it didnt' make me feel better.

I would LOVE a nametag for my ECV. That would make me feel special.

And I've already told DH that he is going to be doing those stampedes so that I can follow behind the crowd. I am already living in fear that I'm going to run over a small child that darts in front of me.

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

Cool.
I'll pop on over to the digitially creative DISers and find out the measurements of the tags.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

Shauna I am so sorry you are having a tough time. I feel your pain with the knee, DH is going through the same thing.

I know it's hard to be patient but your knee was bad for a long time so it's going to take time to heal.

As for babies, you're young, you have time. Just remember you want to be a healthy mom so you are here for your kids. So let's focus on that first.

Now, about this job. Is there some place else you can go? Or can you do enough to get by, not get ahead. What I mean by that is, yes you are doing 3 people's jobs but if you get paid for 40 hours a week, that's all you do. If you are getting paid for 1 person's job then do that and only that.

 

[TPCShauna]

Cool.
I'll pop on over to the digitially creative DISers and find out the measurements of the tags.

I am renting my scooter from a company called Walker Mobility so I don't think they have room for the scooter tags like the WDW ECVs do. Thank you for offering to make one but I definitely don't want you to go to any trouble to do so.

Shauna I am so sorry you are having a tough time. I feel your pain with the knee, DH is going through the same thing.

I know it's hard to be patient but your knee was bad for a long time so it's going to take time to heal.

As for babies, you're young, you have time. Just remember you want to be a healthy mom so you are here for your kids. So let's focus on that first.

Now, about this job. Is there some place else you can go? Or can you do enough to get by, not get ahead. What I mean by that is, yes you are doing 3 people's jobs but if you get paid for 40 hours a week, that's all you do. If you are getting paid for 1 person's job then do that and only that.

Sadly, the economy is pretty bad here and unemployment pretty high so I don't feel comfortable leaving. At the moment, I'm still only working 40 hours a week as they have to do overtime or comp time if we go over. Also, when they passed on the extra stuff, they asked how I would fit it in and I told them I would have to shift stuff. So far, I've managed to get everything done so I don't think there is any way I can stop now without bringing down negative attention.

You are right about the kid thing. It's just that I know DH badly wants a baby and I am pretty ready now myself so I'm feeling that every day it's just getting further and further away.

Can y'all tell I'm having a pity party for myself? I think **I** need margaritas!

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

a little margarita, a little mood music, you never know that baby might come sooner then you think!

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

It wouldn't have been any trouble to make one. It's a bunch of pretties put on paper.

We had so much trouble getting our first little man. I was ready long before he made his appearance. He appeared and poof I was 30. My BFF at the time had her first at 40 the same year I had my Eldest. She tried for many, many years and just about gave up. She had her second four years later. So it isn't too late until Mother Nature says so.

 

[TPCShauna]

The little margarita mixed with my little pain pill cocktail means poof - more sleep!

AWM - That's good to know and it makes me feel a bit better. I had a good friend that had her first at 38 and second at 41 so I know it can be done. I just want to be instant gratification about it.

Y'all really are good for the soul. Whenever I'm feeling a bit down, I know I can come here for a little lift. Thank you.

 

[New England Eeyore]

Shauna!

 

[Lisa]

Shauna, I am sorry so much is being put on you all at once.

I think you made a smart choice reserving the scooter. My mother's husband uses one, and never had anyone look down on him. well.....except the time they cut in front of him then stopped and he ran her over. You'll be able to have a good time, all that magic and pixie dust will be good for your soul. Enjoy it!!!!!

 

[lewdyan1]

Sorry I missed the party, but I brought margaritas for breakfast!

I hope you have a better day today!

 

[Lisa]

What a way to start the day!!!! and such a pretty bright color.

As long as there is some fruit product in there, I suppose it won't hurt to have one for breakfast.

 

[ddavis860]

Awwwwwwww, Shauna, I'm so sorry! You just go right ahead and have a pity party...you deserve it! This knee thing would have anyone down! It's been so long, and slow progress is just so frustrating! I think you have had such a great attitude, I admire the way you have handled the whole thing from the beginning! And, I think Dr's can be real B***ches when it comes to compassion at times.

As for the job, I can say I know how you feel. If I continue about it, I'll start a rant, and that isn't needed here... Hang in there

The scooter...good for you! And don't worry if someone looks at you funny, they don't know you and the struggles you have had. Go and enjoy yourself!!

And, the baby will come when it's time. Healing is taking a lot out of you, and your body needs to concentrate on that, and get better...

 

[party of 3]

so sorry to hear all this stuff shauna. 1st of all you need to take care of yourself. who cares about the scooter. you want to have a good time right? well if that means having to use the scooter than so be it. it's your body, you know you need it, never mind what anyone thinks.
my ds has asthma really bad at some points in the year and he has to stop and do his neb while we are at disney. he knows it, he does it so we can go on with the day and have fun. he puts that mask right on, and i hope he does not feel like is anyone looking at me funny. he's never said anything about it. everyone needs to do what they need to do.

as for the job thing, well that just plain stinks. people leave and they give the people that stay there jobs to do w/out hiring someone to replace them. i really don't like how they do that, but i know it's done all the time. i myself had a crappy day yesterday so i'm right there with ya. definitely not alone on that one girlfriend.

no lets talk babies. my dh and i were married 18 years before we had our little man. i was 37 and dh was 39. it took a long time for us to finally get him and he was so worth the wait. it'll happen when the time is right. do not stress over it. you need to be healthy to take care of the baby. it will happen. but i know how you feel about wanting it right now.

we are all here for you. please talk it out when you need us. i'm telling ya, i could not have gotten through a few days if it were not for everyone on here.

all my best to you.

 

[bearbear]

Remember I will be in Disney with you. Just call me and I will take care of anyone giving you a hard time. Isn't that what DISers do. Take care of each other? You will be fine. I'm make sure of that.
My mom had to use one when we were there last year. After running over my MIL in the first 15 minutes we were there, she was fine after that. No other accidents.

Keep your chin up We will be in Disney.
Cindy