It's been a month & I still can't deal with....

[faith]

So sorry about the loss of your Mom.

 

[Serena]

I'm so sorry. I agree with everyone else though, unless you really need that room, I'd leave it be until you are ready. And maybe it will take baby steps to get through it. But you can and will get through it, when you're ready.

I'm wondering though if your son might like to go in the room. Would it be a good idea to maybe leave open the door just a tiny bit, so if he does want to, he'll feel more comfortable doing so?

{{{hugs}}}

 

[house_of_princesses]

I'm wondering though if your son might like to go in the room. Would it be a good idea to maybe leave open the door just a tiny bit, so if he does want to, he'll feel more comfortable doing so?

Good thought! Children grieve in their own special way. Perhaps the longer the door stays closed, the bigger the mystery for him. Definately offer him the opportunity to do with that door whatever he needs to do.

 

[Kitty 34]

What a hard thing to do. {{{{{{HUGS}}}}} to you and sorry to hear about the loss of your mother.

 

[iNTeNSeBLue98]

Originally posted by MerryPoppins
Take your time. We all go through grief at our own pace. Don't rush. You'll be able to do it when you are ready.

You'll be able to clean her room when you're ready. For now, leave the door closed and go about your day without feeling guilty that you haven't done so as yet.

My father inherited his mother's house and it took him nearly six months to go in and start clearing out her things.

 

[chell]

{{{HUGS}}}

 

[RitaZ.]

Rose, hugs to you. Everyone grieves differently, don't feel like you have to do it within a certain amount of time. {{{hugs}}} Clean out the room when you feel ready, it's a difficult thing to do.

 

[mrsdon]

Im sorry to hear about the death of your mother.
My my ha been gone for 16 years and I still have a few pairs of her shoes that I refuse to part with.
I agree with everyone else, dont rush things. you need to be able to think cleary. You dont want to trrow away something, that might bring you peace later on in your life.

 

[Blondie]

I'm so sorry Mishetta, I can't begin to imagine what you are feeling right now.

Why rush things, you'll know when you are ready. It may be weeks or even months, heck it could be a year from now.

We lost our nephew on May 31st, and my SIL still has his room the way he left it on that day.

Grieving takes time, it's an individual thing. Some people need closure right away and to move on. Others like to hold on to the sentimental value of our loved one's possessions a little longer. (((hugs)))

 

[TIdoublegaER]

As everyone else has said, do this at your own pace, you'll know when you are ready. A "normal" greiving tme frame for someone close to you, such as a sibling, spouse or parent is about 3 years. That's 3 years to get to acceptance. Obviously, some get there sooner, otheres later, and some may never get there and there is nothing wrong with that. Unless you need that room for something or are in a situation that you have to clean things out (ie, apartment,) just wait until you are ready. Don't let anyone else pressure you into doing it sooner either or try to tell you its been long enough.

 

[holycow]

Gosh, you've got me crying here....so sorry for your loss...
(((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))) to you and your Dfamily


Holycow

 

[Sonya]

Don't worry about getting in there, take your time. I'm so sorry.

 

[WilmaBud]

Grieve in your own way and for however long it takes. I wish I had words of comfort. It's so hard. I'm sorry for your loss and your sorrow.

 

[Mishetta]

Thank you all so much for all your recommendations & words of comfort & sympathy. They are all so appreciated. Also, for those of you who posted a message on my Mom's website (through the funeral home), thanks so much. I have printed out each page & will save them for my sons to read when they are older. I have an 8 y/o son & a 21 month old son. (If any of you would like to post something, I believe the website is still available...you would have to go to www.wujekcalcaterra.com and then click on "no intro" & then "visitations" & then "current visitations" & then scroll down the first set of names & when you get to the second set of names....look for "Margherita Manno" & then you can either "view guestbook" ~ have had several DIS members post on there which I will treasure ~ or you can "sign guestbook" & post whatever message your heart leads your fingers to type. Or you can just look & see how very beautiful my Mom was (if her picture is still on the website.)

I was hoping to start getting the room ready for my cousin who will be visiting us from Florida in October but don't know if I'll get to it by then. I will try again next week. I also want to donate most of her belongings to the Karmanos Cancer Institue or Hospice of Michigan for those who will be needing smaller sized clothes. We had such an expensive every month buying smaller & smaller sized clothes. My Mom was always so properly dressed, even when she was very ill.

To House of Princesses ~ I remember when your DH passed away & I posted on your thread. You sound like a woman of great strength. I so admire you. God Bless you.

Thank you all again.

Rose

 

[minnie56]

I lost my Mum last October and I have so many of her treasures in my house all wrapped up in tissue ecause I cannot bear to look at them.

I have a bottle of her perfume that sometimes I open and smell...could never put it on though.My sister has her handbag with everything still intact and cannot think of opening it...

So give yourself time....lots of it...we are.

It is a huge loss and very hard to face the reminders left behind.

 

[Robinrs]

Oh, Mishetta:

What a lovely website!

I do understand what you're going through. I lost my Mom last September. No two people were closer. I ADORED her, I admired her, she was my best friend in the world. I never thought I'd ever spend a day without her, EVER. And you know what? I haven't.

Mothers have a way of being with us forever. They're in everything we think, do and say. They're in our choices, they're in our decisions, they are always there. Go to her when you need her, and someway, somehow, you will feel and hear her. Mothers never leave their babies.

I have two LARGE bins of stuff my sweet aunt packed for me. They're just full of memories of her. I tried to go through them but it was too painful. I packed them up and put them in storage and promised I'll go through them one day.

I will not give my some an amount of time for that and you don't have to either. Grieving is a process,it has stages and levels, there is no way of telling when it willl come and go so don't expect anything. Just do like I tell everyone else, be selfish, take your time, remember her to your chilldren and cherish her memoriy.

God bless,

Robinrs

 

[Boots]

Bunches and bunches of HUGS to you! Do you have a close friend you can help you go through her things? My mom has been gone over five years now and I still miss her so much. HUGS and HUGS and then some more!

 

[Boots]

Just went to the website. Very, very nice. She and your aunts have such beautiful names.

 

[dianeschlicht]

((((((hugs))))))) to you!!!

When my mom passed away, a dear friend who is in the ministry said it was important to "clean out" right away, because waiting would make it more difficult. She insisted that we do it the day after the funeral, and even came over to help. It was hard, but I know it would have been much harder later. Now eleven years after losing my mom, I still run across things in her handwritting, and it is so difficult yet. I was just glad my friend forced the issue about Mom's things, because I think it was a form of healing the grief.