It is so hard to downsize

[Sgt Mickey]

I like to think that stuff doesn't own me. BUT we are moving into an apartment for a while so we can decide if this is where we plan on staying or will we move back home. So we have to store some of our stuff. BUT we need to get rid of so much. When we moved here the kids were young. We have toys and so many books and just stuff we have saved over the years. Its so hard to get rid of it all. The books I loved and the books the kids loved. I am borderline becoming a hoarder lol.
I just have to remember it is just stuff.

 

[yoopermom]

If it makes you feel any better...

8 years ago we moved from our 2000 sq ft house on 40 acres (with outbuildings) to a "temporary" house of 900 sq ft on 1 acre. I filled a storage unit top to bottom front to back with stuff I absolutely couldn't be without.

Last month we bought our current 2400 sq ft home on 37 acres. I weeded violently the stuff that was in our small home, and, honestly, brought so little from the storage unit, it was shameful (giving most to goodwill). It makes me sick to think of how much $$ we spent on storage for all those years!

So give yourself a time limit of how much you're going to keep and for how long, and really be honest with yourself about how "irreplaceable" it is. There's very little I regret I didn't keep.

I know it's hard!

Terri

 

[Sgt Mickey]

If it makes you feel any better...

8 years ago we moved from our 2000 sq ft house on 40 acres (with outbuildings) to a "temporary" house of 900 sq ft on 1 acre. I filled a storage unit top to bottom front to back with stuff I absolutely couldn't be without.

Last month we bought our current 2400 sq ft home on 37 acres. I weeded violently the stuff that was in our small home, and, honestly, brought so little from the storage unit, it was shameful (giving most to goodwill). It makes me sick to think of how much $$ we spent on storage for all those years!

So give yourself a time limit of how much you're going to keep and for how long, and really be honest with yourself about how "irreplaceable" it is. There's very little I regret I didn't keep.

I know it's hard!

Terri

This is what I don't want to do. I am the only one in the family who finds this hard so I guess if the kids won't miss it neither will I.

 

[tvguy]

This is what I don't want to do. I am the only one in the family who finds this hard so I guess if the kids won't miss it neither will I.

It is a process. We've sorted through everything twice now in the past year, and are due for a third round. Our kids are adults now, but I can't think of anything we saved for them that when asked about it, they didn't even know we either had it, or still had it. They didn't care.
Making Christmas shopping this year interesting, because I swear half the stuff was received over that past 32 years as Christmas gifts, and never ever used was in the stuff we gave away. Lots of dust catchers.

 

[Disney Doll]

Donate it to a worthy charity. One that helps families or people with children get on their feet. Think How happy the stuff your kids don't need anymore will make some other child.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Sgt Mickey...
I understand!!!!

But, if you are really the only one who is struggling with this, I would almost tell you that , yes, you are a hoarder. This stems from the inability to distinguish real/true value from sentimental value... Or, quite simply, the inability to guage 'value'.... For instance, old papers and receipts from 20 years ago are perceived to be very valuable and/or important. When, of course, they are not.

My advice from the other side....
My MIL was a hoarder...
It was a problem.... And has also been a problem because my DH has picked up on this. It has been a battle for me to maintain our small home. From the very beginning, when we were married, boxes of stuff from his parents place, from decades ago, ended up at my house. To this day, our spare room is locked away, wasted space, because it is 3-4 feet high with 'STUFF'. (granted, some of this not just junk.... but still.)

To the day she died, my MIL refused to organize, clear out, sell, or donate anything...... When she passed away, THIS was the nightmare that she left to her son. My husband spent days and weeks on end.... dealing with all of this. I had mentioned to get a rental dumpster... and finally that is just what he decided to do. When they delivered the dumpster, they were short on the smaller ones, and said, hey, for the same rental, take this huge one. IT WAS FILLED UP TO OVERFLOWING.... TOTAL JUNK.... out of a regular sized, smaller, 3 br one level house. It was almost unbelievable.

Just from the stuff that DH brought home, as it might be stuff to garage sale, donate, or keep.... I could barely park our vehicle in our garage.

My DH grew up on their 'farm'.... 50 acres, barns and outbuildings, two level house with basement....... The thing is, the amount of living and storage space really has no bearing on this issue.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

It is a process. We've sorted through everything twice now in the past year, and are due for a third round. Our kids are adults now, but I can't think of anything we saved for them that when asked about it, they didn't even know we either had it, or still had it. They didn't care.
Making Christmas shopping this year interesting, because I swear half the stuff was received over that past 32 years as Christmas gifts, and never ever used was in the stuff we gave away. Lots of dust catchers.

I am having a difficult time to for this very reason. It is funny my dad brings me my childhood books that I don't want and other stuff I see myself doing the same.

 

[PSUTraveler]

One solution for those items of sentimental value - don't just "get rid" of them, but take photos of them and save the photos on your computer. We found this especially helpful for knick knacks and old toys/dolls that were just sitting in a rubbermaid container. It is a process, but you can do it!

 

[runsandjumps]

I worry about having to move with a huge house filled with stuff. I went through our downstairs closet where I put Hand me downs. I found a whole bag of size 4 clothes that were never even used for my second son. Although this was a size he grew out of within a couple of months, it still sucked to know I didn't use the clothes.

However, I get immense satisfaction purging things. I like to think that someone out there will appreciate getting such great discounts on sometimes truly expensive items.

I am toying with the idea of taking pictures of all my kids art projects and making a small collage booklet from shutterfly or the like. This way I can keep the memories but in a reduced manner.

 

[mrsbicewdw]

I come from a family of hoarders (one is actually diagnosed, the others are just magpies). When I got my own home I knew I couldn't handle letting stuff creep up on me. Honestly, once you start to purge the easier it gets. Some general helps:

For clothing, I learned a trick a while back. Put all your hanging clothes up with hangers "backwards" (the hook back to front instead of the normal way). As you wear things and rehang, put the hanger back the normal way. At the end of the month you can easily see what you haven't worn since the hanger will still be backwards. Then get rid of it! Any clothing with snags or holes or that doesn't fit goes automatically. Not save too big or too small items - only keep clothes for the body you have.

Toys and books can GO once kids outgrow them. My parents kept EVERYTHING and I can honestly say there was no point, for me or my sister (and my sis is a magpie too - even she didn't want the old stuff). Keep a couple really sentimental things - first blanket or bear, etc, and get the rest out of the house. Chances are you have pictures of the kids playing with the toys so you can remember them. And old books can be bought again if years down the road someone remembers and wants it. A good thing to do if your kids won't want to keep it all is to have them go through things - they will be more ruthless.

Decor and clutter is what hangs up most people. I give myself one small tote for each holiday season except christmas. If the decor doesn't fit in that tote then it's gone. I have also learned to prioritize my everyday items I keep out - if you have 20 cute things on the bookshelf you won't notice the really special pieces. Keep out 5 special pieces and those five really shine.

Once you have things cleared out and downsized keep a rule in place - if you bring in items, then something has to leave. If I bring home another cake stand (I love cake stands) then a cake stand or platter I have has to leave. Right now I have 5, and I won't keep more than that. Same for vases, candle holders, etc. When I buy new clothing I get rid of something in the closet, usually to donate. We drop off donations several times a year and I also sell some items through yard sale groups.

When you downsize it really is freeing. Things are just things. I have learned that it is the memory of the thing that is special, and I don't need the thing itself to remember that.

 

[havaneselover]

I did this almost two years ago after my divorce was finalized. We went from 3,600 square feet with an oversized 3 car garage and storage in a walk up attic to 2,200 square feet with a small two car garage and a pull down attic. I got rid of so much good stuff. I sold some stuff on cl, I donated a lot of stuff, and I made a ton of trips to the dumpster. A lot of it was stuff from when my kids were little. It was emotionally and physically draining. Now I buy almost nothing because I think of all the money down the drain for everything I got rid of. But I'm way more content. It's a journey, for sure.

 

[cluvsdisney]

Yesterday at work, I was talking with someone about moving for the sole purpose of getting rid of things we don't need. I did a huge destashing a couple of years ago. I wish I could get DH on board to work through the things we have in storage but he's physically not able to do too much and I can't just get rid of his things without his input.

mrsbicewdw is 100% correct that the more you get rid of, the easier it gets. Start with the easy stuff that you know you don't want and just never wanted to deal with...you'll start to build momentum so that when it comes to more important things you can be a little more decisive.

 

[DisneyCowgirl]

I read an article recently about a woman who helps people organize. Her advice included thanking your things for serving you well as you get rid of them. Sounds crazy? Yes, but it really does help for those things that seem so valuable but that you no longer need.

And DONATE (or sell)! It can bring you joy to know that someone else is now loving that toy your own kids loved so much.

After downsizing significantly over 2 moves in the last 36 months, I can report that once something makes it into storage, other than seasonal stuff, it might as well be gone.

 

[cluvsdisney]

I read an article recently about a woman who helps people organize. Her advice included thanking your things for serving you well as you get rid of them. Sounds crazy? Yes, but it really does help for those things that seem so valuable but that you no longer need.

And DONATE (or sell)! It can bring you joy to know that someone else is now loving that toy your own kids loved so much.

After downsizing significantly over 2 moves in the last 36 months, I can report that once something makes it into storage, other than seasonal stuff, it might as well be gone.

I totally agree!! We have a paid storage room and except for Christmas decorations and about 10 other things, I can't think of anything in there that I would want to keep. (10 is being generous) I just need to get DH on board with getting rid of his stuff. Maybe that will be our 2015 goal?

 

[Handbag Lady]

Keep your ears open, too. There is usually some niece or nephew just starting out who could really use a used table for their new apartment, etc. This is a great way to recycle, too.

I have dear friends who downsized and found out I have the same Christmas china. They gave me one of their 4-piece place-settings and I was thrilled!

I also do the same trick for the clothing, but with things. If things are too cluttered, pick up what the eye can see and put it in a bin. Set a reminder and if in a month if you haven't gone into the bin for anything, it gets donated, trashed, or sold.

 

[eliza61]

I feel your pain. I just downsized from my old house that I had been in for over 20 years. Good gravy, the amount of stuff I accumulated!!! Now I'm in a townhouse and need to purge like crazy. I've got totes lined up against the wall!!

It's hard.

 

[OhMari]

If it makes you feel any better...

8 years ago we moved from our 2000 sq ft house on 40 acres (with outbuildings) to a "temporary" house of 900 sq ft on 1 acre. I filled a storage unit top to bottom front to back with stuff I absolutely couldn't be without.

Last month we bought our current 2400 sq ft home on 37 acres. I weeded violently the stuff that was in our small home, and, honestly, brought so little from the storage unit, it was shameful (giving most to goodwill). It makes me sick to think of how much $$ we spent on storage for all those years!

So give yourself a time limit of how much you're going to keep and for how long, and really be honest with yourself about how "irreplaceable" it is. There's very little I regret I didn't keep.

I know it's hard!

Terri

We seriously need to meet so you can help me, are you for hire?

 

[OhMari]

I feel your pain. I just downsized from my old house that I had been in for over 20 years. Good gravy, the amount of stuff I accumulated!!! Now I'm in a townhouse and need to purge like crazy. I've got totes lined up against the wall!!

It's hard.

This will be us, when we move to our new home. I really want to have a rummage sale, but sometimes rummage sales end up being so much work, with very little profit. It is going to take a month to just clean out our garage, it is packed to the rafters and up in the rafters.

 

[rwdavis2]

Get rid of the toys. Donate them. Most toys these days are cheap, plastic junk. I think we donated an entire army of Barbies and Kens along with all their junk. Kept a few games and puzzles. I also forced our kids to sit down with me and make decisions on all their books. We must have had several hundred.

I ditched old electronics after a few years of no use: stereo, VCRs, dvd players, etc.

 

[Dancind]

DD just moved halfway across the country and purged her old room. I guess she took the Harry Potter books, sorry for the person that has to carry those to her new third floor apartment!

Now it's my turn. I have been an Ebay/Etsy vintage seller since I retired in 2004, part time for about 10 years before that. Went to a lot of estate sales, and still have a lot of "good" stuff. Always been a collector. We'd like to move in a few years so it all has to go somewhere. I've made progress the last couple of years but still have a long way to go.