"It all started with a whopping price error…” 10/24 The Perfect Storm of Opportunity

I'm so glad you've continued to write your TR. I know it must be hard to relive some of these memories. :hug:
 

Where are you? You haven't been on the disboards in a while. It probably has only been a week, but that's a while to me. I am waiting to hear how things went for you. I also apologize now for being a pest, I know this is hard for you. Now I feel bad, take your time. But not too long.:goodvibes
 
Just a quick update. There is some family stuff going on and I am out of town. I haven't forgotten the TR but I probably won't be posting until sometime next week.
 

Promises, Promises:

The next few days pass in a haze of shock and grief. There are many decisions and arrangements to be made for the funeral. Thankfully my ability make decisions appears to have returned because it looks as though my Mom has lost hers.

Mom looks puzzled each time the funeral directors ask her things such as what kind of urn or flowers she wants. She looks at them, looks at me and then hesitantly decides to go with whatever the most expensive option is. Why is she choosing the most elaborate options? That is not the way my parents lived. Is it because these are the things she wants? Is she concerned that the funeral director will think poorly of her if she chooses some less expensive options? Is she is worried that I will resent her if she decides on anything less than the most expensive options? I don’t know.

Each time she makes a choice I chime in and tell her what I would choose if the decisions were mine and why I think it is the most appropriate choice. Once I express my opinions she always agrees that it is best and goes with my choices. I suspect that I was right about her worrying that I might think poorly of her if she chose anything less than the very best.

The days continue to pass in a blur. We attend the visitation and funeral. We accept the condolences of family and friends. We make difficult decisions about what is next. Never far from my mind is that promise we made to the kids the morning we left Disney, the promise that we would bring them back.

I know I thought that the weight of the promise made to DS so many years ago was heavy. It was the weight of a feather compared to what I am feeling now. The weight of this new promise leaves me gasping for air. Having this promise floating around without concrete plan of action to anchor it leaves me panicky.

The weight grows heavier and heavier each day. The kids having to explain to their friends why they are home early adds a few pounds. One hundred pounds are added when BFF and friend return home and tell DD what they did after she left. I review the itinerary of what was to have been and note what we didn’t do. We missed Wishes, the parade, Jungle cruise and dole whips. We missed test track, mission space, the world show case and the seas with nemo. We missed lights motors action, fantasmic and wolfgang puck express. We missed Animal Kingdom entirely. With every missed experience the weight grows.

I begin to try to put together a plan for our return. I work seasonally and have to be back to work by mid April. It is mid March at this point so going soon isn’t looking too promising. That’s ok; I am not ready yet anyway. Winter of 2010 looks promising.

A few days later DS arrives home from school with his course selection for next year. We go over it. He will have a heavy course load. I don’t see how I will be able to take him out of school without putting an entire semester at risk. If we decide to go in 2010 our only opportunity will be during March break. There are no deals on airfares during March break. Air alone will easily cost $3000 to $3500 for the 4 of us. Another hundred pounds of weight is added.

We lucked out this year. DS completed his harder course in the first semester. This semester he has Phys. Ed for his P.E. requirement, Drama for his fine arts requirement, Mi’kmaq studies (first nations native people) for his social studies requirement and woodworking. The social studies class is the only one that will have homework or an exam. Taking him out to go to Disney was no problem. Maybe I should reconsider the decision to wait until next year…

I start looking for last minute deals on air. I find sell-off flights with Air Transat for $1300. That is an unheard of good price. I guess with the economy the way it is the travel deals are plentiful. The dates are 03/31 to 04/07. That gives me only 8 days to get ready to go. I check the fares for the next week but they are much higher and I would have to start work for the season immediately after arriving home.

At dinner, I bring up the idea of going back to Disney next week with the rest of the family. DH has nothing going on at work during that time that he couldn’t have someone else handle and is all for it. The kids have nothing pressing going on at school and say they are ready to go back as soon as we can. I guess the only hold out is me.

I know I’m not ready to go back but I don’t think I can stand the weight on my shoulders for a whole year. And besides, what if something happens that prevents us from going next year at all? We have already had that happen to us in 2007/08 when mom got sick.

I play around on Disney site looking for accommodations. The 4/3 deal is out. We will be using the 4 days we have left on the last tickets. I looked at room only options. I can’t remember exactly what my choices were. I only remember that the options left were hideously expensive. If we decide to go we would have to stay off site. I look at expedia and quickly become overwhelmed by the choices. Then I notice a brand new property, Lake Eve Resort. It is located on International Drive next to The Fountains and Floriday’s. A three bedroom unit with full size kitchen, living room, dining room, 2 bathrooms plus a full size car rental will cost $1100.00CAD ($900 USD) for the week. All resort fees, taxes, and daily housekeeping is included. I show it to DH. He says book it. I hesitate. I spend more time playing with options on the computer. I can’t seem to haul out the credit card and pull the trigger.

It is late and I decide that I am going to go to bed. I know from playing with numbers of passengers on the Air Transat site that there are only 6 seats available. I decide that if the seats are still available in the morning it is a sign that I should book it, that it is the right thing to do. If they are gone, I will know that I should wait until next year. I feel better now that the decision is out of my hands. I sleep easy.

I get the kids out the door in the morning and then I check to see if the flights are available. They are gone. I am surprised to find that I feel so disappointed. Then I realize I entered the dates incorrectly. I correct the error and not only are the flights still available, but the price has dropped by $50 per person. I calculate what the trip will cost. $1100.00 for flights, $1100.00 for accommodations and car, I have 4 day never expire park hopper tickets, I still have $315 left on Disney gift cards for meals plus $500.00 in US cash. So out of pocket it is $2200.00 plus maybe another couple hundred in US cash total cost; $2500.00. It is an incredible deal, a no-brainer.

I start the online process to book the tickets. If fill in all the info and haul out the credit card. All I have to do now is press enter and it is a done deal. I stare at the screen. I can’t do it. I’m not ready, but if I let this deal pass I will regret it. I was already disappointed when I thought it was gone. I am caught in a no win situation. I stare at the screen some more. I call my husband at work. I ask him what I should do. He tells me to book it. I stare at the screen some more.

I decide that not pressing enter hasn’t made me happy maybe I should just hit that one little tiny button and see how I feel then. I stare at the enter key. I raise a single finger. I hit the key quickly like I am ripping off a band-aid. A message comes up and says (I kid you not) “That wasn’t so hard was it? Now the hardest thing you have to do is decide how many bottles of sunscreen to pack.” I burst into tears. Ugly cry tears. Gulping for air tears.

I cry off and on all day. I book the accommodations and cry. I begin to gather clothes. I call my Mom and tell her. She thinks it is great that we are taking the kids back. I do laundry and cry. I try to get it out of my system before everyone comes home from school. For the first time in my life I have to seriously consider whether I need some help. I am not coping well, maybe I need some medication to help me over this hump. Seriously, how many of you cried after booking a trip to Disney? It is not a normal reaction.

When the kids arrive I manage a happy face and tell them that we are booked to go back. They are, of course, excited. Later DH arrives home, his big laugh booms while he does his funny happy dance and he asks, “so what’s the good news, am I goin to Disney?” I completely lose my composure, I cover my face as if I can physically push the tears back in. His attempt at humour stops. He tells me we don’t have to go. I tell him it is non-refundable. He says he doesn’t care, it’s just money.

I think it is really sweet that he wouldn’t be upset with me for wasting $2200.00 to essentially see how I would feel about the trip once it was booked. I tell him that we will go, I know I will regret it if we don’t. I begin the countdown, 14 days until I am home again.

The days pass. I call a couple of friends. They all think that this is exactly what I need, to get away from everything for awhile. Everyone keeps telling me that when I get there I will feel better. I call my doctor. I have decided that maybe I need ativan, especially for the flight. My emotions are so close to the surface that any minor problem or annoyance might be more than I can handle. Unfortunately my Doc is on vacation. No meds for me…

I see that the night before the flight there is a snowstorm forecast. Are you freaking kidding me? On the 31st of March we are going to have a snowstorm! What happened to March coming in like a lion and out like a lamb?

We wake on the morning of departure and sure enough there is about six inches of snow down. We rush to get everything in the car and off to the airport since it is sure to be a slow drive. We arrive at the airport only 5 minutes late. We get in the check-in line which is already very long. It is not moving. There are only 2 people working the check-in and they are taking their sweet time. We talk to the others in line. Air Transat has only the one flight so we are all here for the same flight. That a relief, at least the flight won’t be going anywhere until they check in 300 passengers. Check-in takes us 2 ½ hours… The plane takes off 2 hours late, but it was a good flight and we arrive in Orlando safely.

Up Next: After the rain come the rainbow
 
A & B Mama -

I can so relate to what you went through prior to leaving on your second trip. Just days before leaving on a solo trip: my mother passed away in 2006, my father passed away in 2009, and my best friend passed away at the end of last year. Because I was leaving on a solo trip, I did not have the anxiety of making arrangements for my family (I have two adult children and a very understanding spouse) but I did totally cancel the trip I had scheduled in the days after my father's death because I just couldn't make other arrangements without harsh financial penalties. Ironically, I vowed I would go back for the 2010 Marathon weekend, and my best friend, who was hospitalized in November, slipped away just after Christmas. We were extremely close, and I assisted her family in all the arrangements and served as a pallbearer. The whole thing tore my heart out, and the idea of a Disney trip was certainly not a focus. However, I found that once I arrived, I was soothed by the atmosphere and joy of my favorite place.

My mantra through all of this has been "The sun shines above all the rain that's falling down, and soon all the clouds will drift away". I have been living in a veil of tears and sadness the last several weeks, but found today that I has....happy. It's nice to be happy.

I can't wait to read the rest of your report. Best wishes.
 
What a beautiful, moving update. I could really feel your pain and angst in making your decision to go back. Wow! I am so glad you decided to go. I can't wait to read more!
 
I guess forgetting the camera was DH's blonde moment. Mine was reading your comments about Bob and thinking you were still talking about how you would beatthe crap out of your husband if he forgot the camera. Then I thought...wait a minute...her husband's name is Dan.

:rolleyes1 I forgot I changed peoples names to protect the innocent; or guilty in Bob's case.

:laughing::rotfl2:, that was too funny!!! I am hooked!!popcorn::
 
Thank you for posting. This thread, for some reason, has moved me more than any other thread I had read. So glad you were able to get such a deal for going back. Thanks again for updating us, I'm sure it hasn't been easy for you.:lovestruc
 
:hug: Thank you for the next installment, I think you are very brave for going through with booking again and to have to go so soon as well. I hope like a PP said that once you got there it was easier and you were able to relax.
I lost my (then future) MIL about a month before our wedding (at WDW), she had been battling cancer for 6 months (after it was diagnosed) and I just did not want to go, I didn't see how we could be happy esp. my DH (his Dad had cancelled the flights booked a year in advance and could only get one to arrive the day after the wedding :sad1:). But we went, we got married and had a nice time (the Wedding day was perfect, everything was amazing and I will never forget it) - it was what my MIL would have wanted. That was when we did the DVC tour and bought our points, I also met a Diser (before I was registered on the boards) who told me to register and I'm so glad I did.

I hope it gets a bit easier for you to write about it - you're doing such an amazing job :grouphug:
 
Thank you so much for coming back and sharing your experience. I am a firm believer that we "are overcome by the word of our testimony" but getting through the "test" part of life is hard. Your sharing may help someone you have never met so thank you for opening your heart to us. I am looking forward to reading the rest and continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Dawn
 
I love your honesty. Mommy guilt can be overwhelming....:hug:

Looking forward to your next update..
 
I love your TR. It really sucks me into your world, your emotions, your struggles, your joys. I look forward to the next installment.
 
A & B Mama -

I can so relate to what you went through prior to leaving on your second trip. Just days before leaving on a solo trip: my mother passed away in 2006, my father passed away in 2009, and my best friend passed away at the end of last year. Because I was leaving on a solo trip, I did not have the anxiety of making arrangements for my family (I have two adult children and a very understanding spouse) but I did totally cancel the trip I had scheduled in the days after my father's death because I just couldn't make other arrangements without harsh financial penalties. Ironically, I vowed I would go back for the 2010 Marathon weekend, and my best friend, who was hospitalized in November, slipped away just after Christmas. We were extremely close, and I assisted her family in all the arrangements and served as a pallbearer. The whole thing tore my heart out, and the idea of a Disney trip was certainly not a focus. However, I found that once I arrived, I was soothed by the atmosphere and joy of my favorite place.

My mantra through all of this has been "The sun shines above all the rain that's falling down, and soon all the clouds will drift away". I have been living in a veil of tears and sadness the last several weeks, but found today that I has....happy. It's nice to be happy.

I can't wait to read the rest of your report. Best wishes.

I did relax once we got there and we did have a lot of fun on the trip.

I think it was really helpful to get out of my regular environment. In Florida I didn't need to worry about running into someone at the grocery store who had heard about my dad and wanted to express their sympathy. I also didn't have any resposibilities in Florida.


"The sun shines above all the rain that's falling down, and soon all the clouds will drift away"

I love this quote. It really puts things in perspective.

I am sorry to hear of your loses. I know it's hard, it seems like you are never going to be happy again, but in time the grief does lighten. :hug:

What a beautiful, moving update. I could really feel your pain and angst in making your decision to go back. Wow! I am so glad you decided to go. I can't wait to read more!

I'm glad to see you are still reading! Thanks for the compliment. I worked really hard on this installment, I'm embarrassed to say that it took me a solid 5 hours to write it...

:laughing::rotfl2:, that was too funny!!! I am hooked!!popcorn::

Thanks. I can't believe I did that.

:flower3: Great update..

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thank you for posting. This thread, for some reason, has moved me more than any other thread I had read. So glad you were able to get such a deal for going back. Thanks again for updating us, I'm sure it hasn't been easy for you.:lovestruc

Thanks so much. As I was saying above it took me a long time to write. I wanted to get it right.

:hug: Thank you for the next installment, I think you are very brave for going through with booking again and to have to go so soon as well. I hope like a PP said that once you got there it was easier and you were able to relax.
I lost my (then future) MIL about a month before our wedding (at WDW), she had been battling cancer for 6 months (after it was diagnosed) and I just did not want to go, I didn't see how we could be happy esp. my DH (his Dad had cancelled the flights booked a year in advance and could only get one to arrive the day after the wedding :sad1:). But we went, we got married and had a nice time (the Wedding day was perfect, everything was amazing and I will never forget it) - it was what my MIL would have wanted. That was when we did the DVC tour and bought our points, I also met a Diser (before I was registered on the boards) who told me to register and I'm so glad I did.

I hope it gets a bit easier for you to write about it - you're doing such an amazing job :grouphug:

I'm glad your wedding went well. I am sure that is exactly what your MIL would want.

The rest of the TR should be easier to write. The roughest bit is over.

Thank you so much for coming back and sharing your experience. I am a firm believer that we "are overcome by the word of our testimony" but getting through the "test" part of life is hard. Your sharing may help someone you have never met so thank you for opening your heart to us. I am looking forward to reading the rest and continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Dawn

Thank your for the kind words and prayers. It would be wonderful if my story helped someone else. I have to admit I have found it very helpful to write it. It helps me remember how many joyful times we had. It is so easy to lose sight of the good times when you feel overwhelmed by the bad.

I love your honesty. Mommy guilt can be overwhelming....:hug:

Looking forward to your next update..

Thanks. I knew I could never relax completely until I fulfilled that promise.
 
I better start receiving email updates when your thread has updated. I know that I am subscribed to it, but I am not getting my emails!! :scared1:

You are such a good writer. I love being in the moment with you and feeling like I am there. I found myself pushing the enter key for you when I was reading about how you couldn't push it. It must have worked from my computer because you ended up pushing it.:thumbsup2 I am so glad that you got to go back so soon, and I can't wait to hear more.

I'll admit, sometimes my updates take me about 5 hours too. My reason might be because I am constantly getting up and making snacks, getting drinks, wiping butts, turning on movies, finding blankies, or getting a game started for one of my kids. That doesn't include the hopeless amount of housework that I really need to do, but find myself putting off until I get my updates written on my TR. Hence the reason, if I didn't have readers I wouldn't continue. :dance3:

LOVING THIS TR AND WAITING FOR MORE!!popcorn::popcorn::popcorn::
 




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