Issues with borrowed items UPDATE

[Callie]

Update : Well I got my movie back. I went upstairs to talk to my sorority sister about things (needed to vent, just upset over some things the other girls have said) and she mentioned that the movie was up there. So she gave it back to me. Totally appreciate them leaving it random places and out of the case, but I can't complain, I got it back. Just my blender now.


Needing some DIS advice.
A few months ago I lent my copy of a DVD to the girls across the hall. (I live in a dorm). I figured it would be ok because they borrow things all the time and return them etc.

Well I've asked for it back, and they won't return it until I give them back the copy of the first movie. The thing is, I never borrowed it. I don't even own a DVD player here at school, let alone have any DVD's. I already own the copy of the first movie back home. Do I get an RA involved?

 

[si-am]

Wait.

If you don't have any DVDs at school, how did you have one to loan them?

I wouldn't get the RA involved. It sucks that they won't return your movie, yeah, but to escalate the matter will make you pretty unpopular.

 

[kristina87]

Needing some DIS advice.
A few months ago I lent my copy of a DVD to the girls across the hall. (I live in a dorm). I figured it would be ok because they borrow things all the time and return them etc.

Well I've asked for it back, and they won't return it until I give them back the copy of the first movie. The thing is, I never borrowed it. I don't even own a DVD player here at school, let alone have any DVD's. I already own the copy of the first movie back home. Do I get an RA involved?

You didn't mention anything about the first movie, unless I'm reading it wrong. But if they won't give you your stuff back I would definitely get an RA involved. I mean, who does that?? Its yours and if you say you didn't borrow something from them then they have no reason to not give it back to you. That's elementary school stuff and they're being childish. Hope it works out for you!

 

[lrichardson]

I think I would just forget about it. It is going to cause more problems in the end. In a few years you won't even care about that DVD. Just let it go. If it means that much then buy another one when you can. Don't lend anything else to anyone else unless you can take the chance of it not being returned. I have had so many people not return things to me over my lifetime and in the end it really doesn't matter. Now I know that if I don't want to lose it then I won't lend it out. If it doesn't matter then I will.

Just calm yourself on this and forget about it.

 

[Callie]

The reason I had one to borrow to them is because they asked to borrow it, so when I went to my home, I picked it up. It was brand new.

I guess I wouldn't be as upset, except its my favorite movie, and I hate that they don't believe me when I say I never borrowed their movie. I mean, I own everything related to the movie. I also gave them the beanie babies from the movie for Christmas

 

[marlynnp]

'neither a borrower nor a lender be'

it worked for Shakespeare and it's still relevant

 

[Callie]

Also, I just realized they still have my blender. Grr.
I mean, I went out of my way all year, they borrow everything from me.

 

[si-am]

Stop lending them stuff.

 

[dakcp2001]

Go out and buy yourself a new blender and a new copy of the dvd. You learned a valuable lesson, dont lend stuff out ever. You never get it back in the same condition if at all. Be thankful you learned this while lending out some small stuff. No one else will ever take as good care of your stuff as you will. For me this was a very expensive lesson, when I let someone borrow my car.

Buy yourself replacements, never lend stuff out again. Forget these girls!! Sounds like they are surrounded with drama anyway.

 

[manning]

Don't lend. That was the first thing told and learned in the army.

 

[Callie]

Well I called the RA duty, and since the girls aren't home there isn't much they can do. They said to have our RA, and try knocking when they are home. More than likely they'll return the items then. Since I have proof of them admitting they have my items, and they don't have any proof on their end of them lending the items, the police could get involved. (Not sure I'd take it that far, but it was a huge mixer/blender that is my moms).

So frustrating, not only because of the items, but not to have the people who I thought were friends. Lesson learned.

 

[kwelch10377]

I would just chalk it up to a lesson learned and don't lend them anything again. It seems as though they are really just taking advantage of you being generous by lending things out.

 

[MistressMerryweather]

Learn how to say, "no" and stop lending your things. It almost always turns out badly. I lent someone from church, my 3 favorite Disney movies and I said..."These are my absolute favorites, please make sure to return them." Never saw them again. I'm of the belief that if/when you lend, you lend with the expectation of not getting the item back or you don't lend.

 

[trip]

Learn how to say, "no" and stop lending your things. It almost always turns out badly. I lent someone from church, my 3 favorite Disney movies and I said..."These are my absolute favorites, please make sure to return them." Never saw them again. I'm of the belief that if/when you lend, you lend with the expectation of not getting the item back or you don't lend.

This goes for things and MONEY!!

 

[SookieStackhouse]

I agree, with the above statments, it's sad but really you just have to learn not to loan out your stuff because a lot of times you will not get it back.