Is your middle-schooler on Facebook?

[Becky2005]

Not here. Once they hit High School most of them are on it. I don't know of any Middle Schoolers who are on it here, even when DD was in MS, it didn't seem to be very big. I have boys now and my current 7th grader really wouldn't care if he was on it or not (he will turn 13 in Jan. -- so technically he could). I'll decide for him Freshman year depending on what activities he is involved with, etc...

For that matter, some of the HS clubs have groups on there. I hadn't really given it much thought but last year after DD was a Freshman and I started poking around, realizing just how many important informational things she would miss NOT being on Facebook, I let her have an account.

The drama club is on there with information on changes of times of meetings, etc... They have a student run production toward the end of the year -- if she hadn't been on the group, she would have completely missed a bunch of important date/time changes.

 

[babytrees]

Both of my girls have one (as do I)...my youngest (13) got one because she wanted to play the cool games I was playing. My girls have a lot of grown ups as friends. The oldest is very involved in marching band and 90% of the kids (and grown ups) have facebook accounts. The problem I have with some of the grown ups is they want to friend ALL of the kids. They say it's so that they can have another grown up to look up tooPersonally, except in a couple of cases, I think it's just another way to spy on their kids.

I do have a couple of the kids as friends...they asked to friend me though. One is a former boyfriend of the oldest and the other is a friend of the oldest and will be the youngers section leader next year. Out of respect I don't friend their teachers until they aren't their teacher anymore AND if we were friends before facebook. We all need a place to vent!!

 

[IDoDis]

My 13 yo DD has one -- opened it on her 13th b-day! She had to wait until then, but was very excited to be on FB with her friends. My 10 yo DS does not have a FB account and won't until he's 13. When DD opened her account, I was surprised at how many friends she had within a few days. I figured it was mostly for grown-ups but most middle schoolers already had accounts. I'm guessing some were already 13 and some were close to turning 13.

I am one of her friends and monitor her activity -- not just her wall, but her home page, too so I can see what her friends are posting. Some of her friends have also friended me. So far, so good!

There was one girl who was using vulgar language over and over again. She doesn't even go to DD's school anymore. DD made her invisible so she wouldn't see the girl's daily rants. The girl has wonderful parents who are a bit overprotective, so I don't know if the girl is just trying to spread her wings or what, but I was shocked at her posts! She is using a different last name, so I doubt her parents know she has a page because if they did, they would be the type to monitor it.

BTW, I would not allow my 13 year old to have a My Space page. Facebook is much more tame.

 

[dollydell]

For those of you that say that you have to be their friends in order for them to be on facebook, and don't have their passwords, you do know that they can block you from seeing certain things they don't want you to see don't you.

 

[SydSim]

DD-13 doesn't have one. She hasn't expressed any interest in getting one yet, but does look over my shoulder when I'm on my account. I don't believe that most of her "core" group of friends have an account, which is probably why she hasn't bugged me for one

We'll see how she feels when she starts high school next year. I have some teen relatives as friends - some I "hide" because of the language. Others are quite tame and make me realize that DD can have an account and not revert to having a potty mouth.

 

[IDoDis]

For those of you that say that you have to be their friends in order for them to be on facebook, and don't have their passwords, you do know that they can block you from seeing certain things they don't want you to see don't you.

If you have the password, you can tell if things are being blocked. I'm not worried. DD is a good kid. Facebook is not a bad place, but people should follow the rules and not allow those under 13 to be on it.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Just allowed my almost 14 year old (8th grade) to open an account. I have her password and she had to make me a friend. All of her friends have an account. I think she's the last. I can and will be following what goes on. She's been given a set of rules -- no friending anyone she doesn't know -- don't care of it's a friend of a friend. There will be no participation in any bullying, name calling, etc. I won't stand for it and will shut it down immediately. She also knows I expect her to come to me about any questionable activity. She's also not allowed to put any pics on there without my prior consent and knowledge. Right now she thinks it's all about how many friends she can accumulate, so I'll be keeping a close eye on who they are. I also made it so that she can't see everything that goes on on my page so she's not embarassed by my activity.

 

[mrsg00fy]

DSs 14 and 11 do not have either facebook or myspace accounts. Just because everyone else has it does not make it okay for them to have it. I don't see the need and DH and I like to have a handle on what they are doing on line, who they are talking to, etc. I also would never permit them to have pictures of themselves online.

In their middle school, the more common thing for boys especially, is to play XBox live. They play on line with the kids in their classes.

 

[Chelley00]

DSs 14 and 11 do not have either facebook or myspace accounts. Just because everyone else has it does not make it okay for them to have it. I don't see the need and DH and I like to have a handle on what they are doing on line, who they are talking to, etc. I also would never permit them to have pictures of themselves online..

On facebook, you can see who they are talking to because they have to be "friends" with someone to chat. As for pictures, you can set each picture you upload to be viewed by friends only.


As for Xbox Live, have you ever listened to what goes on there? DS plays with his friends from school, but they play in groups with other people. I've listened in and there's some pretty foul language going on.

 

[Northstar]

My 11-year-old does not have an account but about 50%of her same-age friends do. For me it's easy... their site, their rules. Terms of service say you have to be 13. End of discussion.

Interestingly, when I asked one of the moms of an underage Facebooker about this... this mom is a keen Facebooker herself... I got a blank stare. "What do you mean, terms of service? Does anybody actually read that stuff before clicking I accept?" Different folks, different strokes. I really thought everybody DID read the scary fine-print stuff before agreeing!

 

[Minnie_me]

My 12-year old is on it. My 9-year old is not.

My 12-year old has these rules:

* She must "friend" me.
* Her site must be "private"
* She may not accept or request any friends without asking me first
* She may only write kind things (no *****ing, especially about school or other people)
* She may not post photos
* She knows that I may and will (and do!) read her wall every single day, as well as any chatting that has occurred.

So far, it's been great! She loves chatting with her friends when they're on at the same time. She is addicted to Farmville (I think that's what it's called).

No harm in it, if you set ground rules.

 

[Pixiedust34]

No. Our 13 yo has no interest.

Our 11 yo will wait until she's 13 for us to decide if she can be responsible for an account at that age.

 

[SmallWorld71]

My 14 year old step-son is on. (DH and his mom are both his friend and keep their eye on things.)
My 10 year old is not on and he has not asked to join. Personally, I think he's too young and should wait a few years.

 

[::Snow_White::]

We are not allowed to have any kind of myspace/facebook until we move out. My sibling and I both have no interest in it anyway. I talk with two of my friends frequently on msn so I don't really have a use for it either.

 

[golfgal]

Our twins got one in 7th grade, DS17 got his in 9th or 10th grade mostly because that is how old he was when it became popular around here. We were discussing this issue at Bunco the other night. There were 2 of us mom's that let our kids have facebook accounts, the other moms we dead set against it and claimed it was because they felt kids on facebook were antisocial . I had to remind one mom of all the social events her DD missed or would have missed for marching band if our anti-social DD didn't read about them on Facebook.

We have our kids' passwords and I have yet to see any fighting, name calling, or any otherwise not acceptable behavior from them or any of their friends. I have seen some interesting pictures of kids through other kid's accounts (clicking on pictures and seeing what some kids post).

 

[aprilgail2]

My 9 year old daughter has one- no biggie

 

[C.Ann]

DGD is 11 and hasn't shown any interest in it thus far.. Even if she did, her parents would not allow it due to the terms of service..

 

[Stinasmom]

Darn, guess someone should revoke my MOM-OF-THE-YEAR card now...

MY DD13 is on Facebook, MySpace, MSN messenger, and texting on her cell.

Yes, I have access, but usually she shows me all the funny stuff her friends put up, all the pictures, whatever her current profile song, etc. anyway.

Does she keep somethings from me? Probably, but didn't you when you were that age?

All this social networking and electronic gagetry is the wave of the future. We may not get it, but it's all becoming second nature to our kids. I am not going to hold her back, but I definitely keep the lines of communication WIDE open!

So far so good.