p.s.- The thing that really bothers me is that Dad pays a very reasonable amount of child support to Mom each month, imo (I think it's $500/mo per child; does this seem right?). Yet because of her continued poor spending habits, she has to keep asking for money to pay for this and that activity, while the money he gives her should be more than enough to care for the kids' needs. Oh, and Dad pays the mortgage on their house ($1000/mo), even though he doesn't live there any more, because Mom can't afford to. I can understand him wanting to shell out the money "for the kids", but how will this teach Mom to spend her money more responsibly???
I was a child of divorce--by age 2. My mom got $200 per month beginning in 1976 and never got a "raise". I NEVER had enough to do the things I wanted. Child support isn't necessarily for the "extras"--it simply helps with child rearing. It costs more to house children and feed them than if she were a single adult. They need clothes--they need lots of basic things.
I will say my mother has declared bankruptcy twice and made many budget mistakes. My dad's money wouldn't have fixed it b/c it was due to the creatures she married. However--it didn't take rocket science to know that it wasn't much when my mother at an E-6 just before making chief was only getting $1000 or so a paycheck.
I have no idea why dad and mom are no longer together, but it isn't fair to either of them to know so much about their finances and presume that she is being wasteful. I know my DH and I are very happy together, but he balks at what we spend on the children.
Without knowing the ins and outs of their divorce decree, it is difficult to judge from the sidelines.
I would make the assumption that the dad thinks $500 is plenty. My dad thought $200 was plenty all the many years ago. Never considering that he would always make more than my mother (he was an officer in the Navy and she was enlisted) and never considering that kids might want to do a fun thing every now and then or not dress in rags. It is no secret that they judged my mother horribly for how she raised me from a financial perspective--but they presumed what they gave was enough. It was probably a decent percent of his pay in 1976. But not so by the time it got cut in 1992 b/c I became adult.
I have 3 children and I spend more than $500 a month on their existence.
*Clothing
*Toiletries
*medical co-pays/deductible
*dental co-pays (about 25-50% of the fees)
*medications: OTC and prescription
*eye exams
*school items (we homeschool, so we pay for everything--but I recall my step-father being PO'd everytime he had to spend "his" precious money to get me school supplies
)
*counseling
And that is all before the "extra's".
Their activities that you listed do not sound unreasonable at all to me.
At most they probably add up to MAYBE $100 per month.
Then for a child support situation--the courts typically include in the amount that would be apportioned towards increased rent and utilities.
Perhaps she isn't being smart with her spending. I have no idea.
However it sounds like you know way too much, yet not enough to get the complete picture.
I hope that makes sense.
My kids are in catechism--it is $40 per kid for the year. I believe middle school and high school are about $60-$80 per year (longer sessions and more that they do). Not a deal breaker of spending.
