"Is there anything I can do for you?"

[browneyes]

My best friend lost her brother yesterday. She said many people have said "Is there anything I can do for you?" She said that has gotten on her last nerve. She said there's nothing anyone can do right now. I told her people are just trying to let her know they are there for her, to let her know she's not alone. I hope I've never upset anyone by asking that question when they are grieving.

 

[Wagamama]

i'm so sorry for your friend.

i say that a lot too...

 

[dianeschlicht]

I would hope people WOULD ask if there was anything to do. It is a show of support, nothing else. Some folks probably need people to be more proactive, and actually DO something without being asked. i.e....Take a meal or dish over etc. Offer to help serve lunch, clean etc.

 

[Serena]

I got that too, and it was from the people that I hardly ever saw and never saw again. I was really angry about it, and about the people that didn't even know my mom was sick. (she was sick for three years)

I really think it's just something to say when they don't know what to say.

my condolences to your friend

 

[JohnTBap]

I agree with Diane. She's hurting so bad and so overwhelmed right now that she can't think of what to ask for.

{{{HUGS}}}

 

[CRB#33]

I think there are different triggers for people in grief. Their emotions are in an uproar and you never know what's the right thing to say. Some people would love to hear that, some people are irritated by anything and everything.

I think as time goes by, the griever looks back and things aren't so touchy. Time does heal somewhat eventually.

I wouldn't worry about it. Just be who you are in situations like these and people will remember that eventually.

 

[snoopy]

I think the best thing to say when you don't know what to say is exactly that, "I don't know what to say"........

Although when my parents died, I appreciated all the support I received, however it was conveyed.

 

[JAP]

That is usually what I say. But I also add can I go to the store for you, bring you food, walk your dog, go to the drug store. If you offer up something maybe it will click in that person's mind. You never know.

My condolences for your friend.