Is there a tactful way to do this?

[HollyJoy]

I'd just skip it all together (taking the 12 year old, that is). I just don't think there's a way to do it w/out hurting someone's feelings. Nice thought though!

 

[Norm Peterson]

My DS and my cousin's DS 13 do not always get along, and I am not sure I could handle him. He can be quite cruel (mental, not physical) sometimes and my DS is no match for that. It gets ugly.

That is the nature of 13 year olds, whether it's boys or girls. You need to be teaching your son how to stand up to bullies, whether it's his cousin or not. At some point in a teenager's life there is ALWAYS someone who can be cruel.

Either take them all or don't take any; you will only hurt the boys feelings and reinforce bad behavior. And I would venture to say you are going to hurt the 7 year old's feelings too.

Should you decide to take them, you need to have clearcut rules UP FRONT about what discipline will be taken when ANY of them gets out of hand and that there will be NO EXCEPTIONS. Then make it stick.

Usually, once kids know the rules and that they will definitely be enforced, they are fine. And sometimes, kids act alot better AWAY from their parents; you never know, he may be an angel the whole trip.

Now, give me a beer.

 

[disykat]

There is absolutely no tactful way to do that in my opinion!

I think you would be risking a lot of relationships in doing so. Probably the most important one would be the relationship between Joe and Jill, just setting them up for sibling problems. I don't see it as depriving Jill of an opportunity to see WDW, but rather of giving her the gift of not putting her the position to hurt her brother.

 

[IMGONNABE40!]

Thanks for your input, everyone. I have decided that I will not ask my cousin's daughter to join us for our trip.

Norm--I do understand about teens, however, this has been going on since DS was 4 and my cousin's son was 6. There are issues there.

Disycat--the relationship between Joe and Jill is already difficult, and that is putting it mildly. I would never take the two of them anywhere for more than an evening or so. Really, pretty scary stuff.

I had not given too much thought to the 7 year old as he is often "left behind" and told that he is not old enough. Serious behavior problems here too.

Now that I think about it, maybe I should ask my cousin to come and leave the kids behind. I think she could use the break.