Is there a nice way to say no siblings....

[memobrien]

In our neighborhood, about 3/4 RSVP and it's about 50/50 with parents who drop off vs. stay. I personally LOVE the drop off party! And usually siblings come along.

i always have people who don't rsvp. but then those people don't come. i think that people general think you rsvp means call if you are coming. really it just means respond... but whatever.

personnally what kills me is people who call WAY, WAY after the date that you ask for the RSVP by.

So here is my question...at what age do you expect kids to be dropped off. For me maybe i am over protective....but i wouldn't think of dropping my daughter off for a quiet at while. Also, personnally speaking I wouldn't want the responsibility of someone else's kid.

Maura

 

[gris gris]

My daughters old school had a policy that you could only hand them out in school if youinvited the whole class. But they would mail them for you if you wanted to invite some of the kids. You had to put a stamp on it and the kids' name. But then you handed it into the admin. She would add the addresses and send them out for you.

Can you ask someone at the school if this is a possibility?

Also....THANK YOU for the tip on the traveling party. I'm a member of the Aquarium and didn't know this was an option. What age is your DD that you are having the party for. My daughter is 5. I'm wondering if this would be good, or if they are too young to sit for the activities.


Maura

Thanks for the great idea on the addresses!! I bet our school would do this for me.

I never even thought about the Mystic party but I got my newsletter last week and there is a blurb in there. It's cheaper for members, and there are different parties based on age range 4-6, 7-9 and 10-13. My DD is going to be 5. She's obsessed with all things aquarium so I know she'll sit throught it

 

[sha_lyn]

think it must vary with location but around here parents often bring sibblings along to a party.

Here too. Heck I just had 2 girls show up for DD's party that didn't RSVP and they brought a cousin with them. Luckily I brought extra cupcakes expecting a few of the moms to hang around. Imagine my surprise when not only all the mom stayed but one, but all the dads stayed too. It was a martial arts party and I was fine with them observing, but I would say 1/2 the dads started grabbing pizza before most of the kids were served. I had to annouce before the cupcakes to please let all the kids be served first.

 

[memobrien]

Oh cool! Yeah I know my DD will be all into it. I just worry that some of her friends won't be. We have a few kids that we will call "high energy" in our group. So i'm not sure about them. That is why originally I was thinking Indoor playground so they can bounce off the walls there. But I know that my daughter would love the aquarium party. hmmm....i need to think about this.

When are you having the party? You'll have to keep me posted on how it is.

Maura

 

[sha_lyn]

They are huge, there are no provisions to keep kids from leaving with strangers (like a Chuck E Cheese)

All the CEC's here take great care in making certain kid leave only with the person they come with. Each family is stamped with a number. If the audlts number doesn't match the kids, you aren't allowed near the door. I've seen it happen before when a friend's husband walked in carrying one of the kids, but tried to walk out with the other. They had no walked in at the exact same time so the 4 of them were not stamped wiht the same number.

 

[sha_lyn]

personnally what kills me is people who call WAY, WAY after the date that you ask for the RSVP by.

I bet I got you all beat.... I had someone call weeks after the party LOL.... aparently the girl had the invitation in her back pack for almost 2 months before giving it to her mother

 

[memobrien]

I bet I got you all beat.... I had someone call weeks after the party LOL.... aparently the girl had the invitation in her back pack for almost 2 months before giving it to her mother

ok, you got me beat! that is too funny!!!

Maura

 

[livndisney]

Okay I have to respond to this. I do not need cake or pizza when I come to a party but I always provide whatever meal I am serving the kids to the adults as well. My children can be and are obedient and polite to staff and parents but I will never ever leave them in the care of anyone one that I do not really really know or in a public place such as a party facility. Examples are but not limited to Chuck E Cheese, the aquarium, build a bear etc. Just because my kids are behaved does not mean I think they are old enough to be at such locations without an adult. The host is in charge you say? Well don't kid yourself into thinking that they can watch 30 kids. It has nothing to do with something being unsafe. I don't think it is safe for them to be at the park by themselves but it doesn't mean that we never go there. I also will not let them go to the park with another parent without me or dh there. Sorry but you are not going to watch my child like I will. I am not trying to be rude here but responding with a no just because I won't drop my kid off is imo a little extreme. Of course- where we live parents stay.

Well said. My DD does not go to "drop off" parties. My DD is well behaved, but not ALL children at Chuck E Cheese are. And I know for a fact the party host is not able to police the entire area of Chuck E Cheese. (Nor should she need to). The last time we were there very few parents were around and it was total chaos. I saw several children get hurt.

 

[merryweather20]

Okay I have to respond to this. I do not need cake or pizza when I come to a party but I always provide whatever meal I am serving the kids to the adults as well. My children can be and are obedient and polite to staff and parents but I will never ever leave them in the care of anyone one that I do not really really know or in a public place such as a party facility. Examples are but not limited to Chuck E Cheese, the aquarium, build a bear etc. Just because my kids are behaved does not mean I think they are old enough to be at such locations without an adult. The host is in charge you say? Well don't kid yourself into thinking that they can watch 30 kids. It has nothing to do with something being unsafe. I don't think it is safe for them to be at the park by themselves but it doesn't mean that we never go there. I also will not let them go to the park with another parent without me or dh there. Sorry but you are not going to watch my child like I will. I am not trying to be rude here but responding with a no just because I won't drop my kid off is imo a little extreme. Of course- where we live parents stay.

Sorry but my answer still stands. Whether or not you are planning to eat or enjoy other activities is completely mute, you are still inviting yourself over. Regardless of your experience with similar parties, you have NO idea how the payment for the party works. I did parties at a pool once and while we had three standard payment plans, we would work with the parents if they needed another scheme. In my case I might ask a parent to vouch for any additional people, and that was it they were stuck on the bill.

Whatever issues one's child has that they cannot be left with other adults is completely that families issue. It in NO way excuses someone from inviting themselves to a party uninvited.

How would you feel if someone showed up with extra people at your wedding and said its okay, they're not planning to eat?

If you think an area warrants additional supervision, call and ask the parent if they need help, who they have helping etc.

 

[Minniemouse07]

My dd is 6yo. Just this past year we attended ONE party where ONE of the kids was dropped off. Every other party we've attended since she was 1yo...(and it seems like there have been hundreds!) either one or both parents stayed at the party.

There is NO way I'm dropping my child off at a birthday party w/o my supervision... especially if it is a party for one of her first grade classmates since I know NONE of the other parents there! How responsible is that of me, as a parent, to drop my child off w/ people I don't know at all?

We do go to a number of parties for children she attended day care with since she was a baby... I may consider dropping her off for one of those parties, but in those cases...I know all the moms and we like to reconnect w/ one another so I would rather stay.

Since I'm always one of MANY parents (as I stated I've seen ONE parent drop a child off and not stay in the last six years) it must be a regional thing about dropping kids off, because it is EXPECTED that the parent stays at the parties we attend.

 

[badblackpug]

Sorry but my answer still stands. Whether or not you are planning to eat or enjoy other activities is completely mute, you are still inviting yourself over. Regardless of your experience with similar parties, you have NO idea how the payment for the party works. I did parties at a pool once and while we had three standard payment plans, we would work with the parents if they needed another scheme. In my case I might ask a parent to vouch for any additional people, and that was it they were stuck on the bill.

Whatever issues one's child has that they cannot be left with other adults is completely that families issue. It in NO way excuses someone from inviting themselves to a party uninvited.

How would you feel if someone showed up with extra people at your wedding and said its okay, they're not planning to eat?

If you think an area warrants additional supervision, call and ask the parent if they need help, who they have helping etc.

I've gotta agree with this. There are certain parties, close family friends, relatives, where the whole family is expected to stay. Again, if it is a toddler, the parent would be expected to stay, but in the case of elementary school kids the parents staying are, indeed, an extra financial burden on the host. It would be rude, perhaps as rude as gate crashing, not to offer to feed the parents. If you are haing a party at your home, then you may not have enough refreshments, if you are having a party at a party place, then you are essentially doubling the costs. I have never had, or known of a party where there was only one adult to supervise. If you can't trust your kids or the host for 3 hours, I wouldn't let them go anyway.

 

[memobrien]

Whatever issues one's child has that they cannot be left with other adults is completely that families issue. It in NO way excuses someone from inviting themselves to a party uninvited.

How would you feel if someone showed up with extra people at your wedding and said its okay, they're not planning to eat?

ummm ok...so why don't we all jsut drop our kids off your kids next party? i'm sorry but really this isn't the same as the wedidng scenario. First of all anyone who invites MY KID, who is a MINOR, should expect that there will be a parent there. Anyone who would assume that a 6 yearold is jsut being dropped off at a place, well honestly i would question what that parent is thinking. Unless you are a VERY good friend of mine...you don't know me and why the heck should you trust me?

The parent thing I would jsut assume they would be accompaning the kids. Now having extra kids that is another issue. A grown up isn't going to be participating in the activity or craft or whatever theme the party is. But another sibling is a whole other story. I wouldn't be afraid to but something into the invite.

Maura

 

[sha_lyn]

DD's last party was at the Dojang that we've trained wiht for 5 years.
There were 2 instructors, a teenage assistant DH and myself for 17 kids.
We ended up with like 20 adults staying that we did not plan on feeding, and palin and simple there wasn't the food to feed them. The pizza was ordered in, and I brought a dozen cupcakes.

IMHO I think it is extremely rude for parents to expect to get food or beverage if the invitation is only addressed to their child(ren) or to bring all the kids, if the invitation is only made out to one.
However in most cases I do invite all the kids in a home. The only exceptions would be when the kids had gender specific parties, or when DS was in school and I invited his classmates. Speaking of shich.... when I was pregnant with DD I had 2 moms drop their univited much younger daughters to DS's skating party. This facility did allow parents to stay for free if they didn't skate, it was a huge facilty(and the boys were all 7-8), so I assumed it was a given that parents would hang around. However only my one friend did. Imagine my surprise when al of a sudden thhhhese 2 girls start asking me for skate tickets. They were both about 3 1/2-4 yrs old.
If I remembering correct one of the moms (that left a DD)didn't even show back up until 20-30 min after the end of the party.

I see no difference between it and DH and I showing up at a wedding with the kids if the invitation was only for us.


I've pretty much decided I'm done with children's birthday parties.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

My 4 year old is going to a drop-off party at a "My Gym" on Friday. She attended another drop-off party a couple months ago.

 

[sha_lyn]

. A grown up isn't going to be participating in the activity or craft or whatever theme the party is. But another sibling is a whole other story. I wouldn't be afraid to but something into the invite.

Really? I would say at many venues they participate more often then they do not(invited to or not LOL), and do count toward the total number of heads

 

[meandtheguys2]

Does anyone remember going to birthday parties as a child and having their parent stay? LOL, I have no recollection of this ever happening as a child. And we all managed to survive!

The idea that I am the only person who could possibly take good care of my child is beyond me. If i didn't trust the people having the party, my child would just miss the party.

 

[memobrien]

My 4 year old is going to a drop-off party at a "My Gym" on Friday. She attended another drop-off party a couple months ago.

Interesting...we went to a Little Gym party a few weeks ago for a 5 year old. The father was going to drop off the kid and the people at Little Gym said that drop-offs weren't allowed. They they needed a parent or Gaurdian to be there for each child.

maura

 

[memobrien]

Does anyone remember going to birthday parties as a child and having their parent stay? LOL, I have no recollection of this ever happening as a child. And we all managed to survive!

The idea that I am the only person who could possibly take good care of my child is beyond me. If i didn't trust the people having the party, my child would just miss the party.

Actually...yeah i remember there being parents at all the partys we had as kids. The exception to that was the sleepover parties I started having when i was 12. ....oh wait...when i was 11 my mother took me and 4 friends to the movies and lunch for a party. So 11

But otherwise i clearly remember there being parents.

 

[Minniemouse07]

We've been to parties at a lot of different places, homes, restaurants, YMCA's, "bounce" places, zoos, fire houses, fire halls, gymnastic centers, "my gym", Chuck E Cheese, child play centers, children's museums, etc...

I've never:
- dropped my child (6yo) off
- not been EXPECTED to attend
- not had ABUNDANCE of food available for both kids and parents (ie they were trying to send us all home w/ some!)

I've researched lots of area birthday sites, and none of these places charge for adults to attend. At those places that charge per child for food (chuck e cheese, etc) the hosts of the party pre-purchased extra pizza's for the parents.

I know that some of my dd's friends that have attended her parties for years... I wouldn't want their parents to drop them off... I don't want the responsibility of keeping track of them (a bit on the hyper side!)!!

I'm glad this is the what is expected in our geographical area. Dd would be attending way fewer parties than she does now if parents weren't welcome!

 

[Minniemouse07]

Does anyone remember going to birthday parties as a child and having their parent stay? LOL, I have no recollection of this ever happening as a child. And we all managed to survive!

The idea that I am the only person who could possibly take good care of my child is beyond me. If i didn't trust the people having the party, my child would just miss the party.

We always had parents at kid's parties growing up.

AND

If I don't know the parent (like any of the parents in dd's current class), no I won't trust them to take care of my child.