Is there a nice way to say no siblings....

[gris gris]

For my DD's birthday there is a strict 30 kid maximum (she's having a traveling aquarium party). We're expecting 30 invited kids. How do I avoid having siblings show up? Will parents ask me ahead of time and then I'd say no? Or do I put it on the invitation? This is our first party experience with inviting friends. I don't want to be rude to anyone and if there wasn't a limit I wouldn't mind siblings. There is no option to pay extra for extra kids, I'd have to ask siblings & parents to leave when they arrive if they're not invited.

 

[Aliceacc]

Could you include a note in the invitation?

Something along of the lines of:

The aquarium has a strict limit of 30 children per party. Because we would like to include all the students in Johnny's class, as well as his cousins, we are unable to extend our invitation to any siblings.


To be honest, I've never had a problem with parents bringing extra siblings uninvited.

 

[Hannathy]

I don't know because on the DIS is the only place I hear about parents staying. In my experience no one has ever stayed at a party or brought siblings. I personally think it is rude.

What I would do is put a clear "drop off" time and specify a "pick up" time. could you meet in a foyer or lobby set up and then have the kids escorted to the party area. At the last party my DS was at- one of those jumpy thing places that's what they did. The party Mom and a staff person was in the lobby and met you the staff checked off the child's name on a list and then another staff put on their wrist band and escorted them into then play area leaving parents in the lobby. No one with out a wristband can enter the main room. I would do this meet everyone with a list and if they act like they are staying or sending another kid just check off the correct kid and say " sorry, only kids on the list can stay because there is a limit" Maybe put on a special sticker or something if they don't have wristbands and just have exactly 30, then Just smile and don't waver.

 

[MousekaMaddi]

Id DEFINATELY add a note to the invite........we alwas get siblings galore... I love the way above poster worded her thoughts, very appropriate

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

I don't know because on the DIS is the only place I hear about parents staying. In my experience no one has ever stayed at a party or brought siblings. I personally think it is rude.

What I would do is put a clear "drop off" time and specify a "pick up" time. could you meet in a foyer or lobby set up and then have the kids escorted to the party area. At the last party my DS was at- one of those jumpy thing places that's what they did. The party Mom and a staff person was in the lobby and met you the staff checked off the child's name on a list and then another staff put on their wrist band and escorted them into then play area leaving parents in the lobby. No one with out a wristband can enter the main room. I would do this meet everyone with a list and if they act like they are staying or sending another kid just check off the correct kid and say " sorry, only kids on the list can stay because there is a limit" Maybe put on a special sticker or something if they don't have wristbands and just have exactly 30, then Just smile and don't waver.

I definately do not think it is rude for a parent to stay. I have two DD's 6 and 7 and i won't leave them at a party. I am not going to let another person be responsible for my daughter as well as 30 other children. That is insane, especially if i don't know the parent that well. I dont have a problem with a parent staying at any of our parties, in fact I like it.
I will agree that it can be rude for someone to bring a sibling unless they have asked first. Sometimes there is just nothing you can do if you do not have a babysitter. My rule is that unless the invitation is addressed to both of my girls the only one going to the party is the one with their name on the invitation.

 

[GoinToDisney]

I do think the way the previous poster worded the note int he invite was very nice. How many children are you inviting, and do you really think they will all show up, or are you inviting your child's class? I ask because I am sure there will be kids who don't show up, and that will leave you some wiggle room.

I also had to comment, I can't believe some people think it is rude for parents to stay at a birthday party with their child. I agree, if I don't know the parents very well, I will not just drop my kid off with them. I would certainly ask if I could stay and offer to help before the party (if ever in that situation, I've always been invited to the parties up to this point). However, if the answer is no, my child will not go. That simple. Any adult who doesn't want me around my child, I must assume (even if it isn't fair) that they are up to no good. I have to be that way to protect my child. Now, if I know the parent, that is another story. However, around here parents are usually invited as well. Maybe it's a regional thing?? Where are parents not invited to stay with their kids?

 

[gris gris]

Could you include a note in the invitation?

Something along of the lines of:

The aquarium has a strict limit of 30 children per party. Because we would like to include all the students in Johnny's class, as well as his cousins, we are unable to extend our invitation to any siblings.

This is the quote that everyone likes? I just want to be clear!

We're actually inviting 36 kids (entire class, church friends, preschool friends) and not expecting all 36, but I just need to make sure I don't go over 30.

I have no problem with parents staying at the party and can understand why some might want to. Sometimes I drop my DD off, sometimes I stay, it depends on what others have said.

I guess one thing I can do is as RSVP's come in with no if I get a request about a sibling I can fill that spot. Like I said I wouldn't mind siblings if it were any other type of party, but I have to follow the Aquarium's rules.

 

[ASFCurly]

the problem is some places have a very strict limit of people and include any adults that stay in that number even if they aren't participating, it doesn't seem fair for the people throwing the party to either have to pay for the extra adults, and siblings (which isn't even possible in this case) or to have to tell your child that they can't invite half the people they want because parents want to come and you have to pay for them also. If the parents can stay free then I don't have a problem with it.

 

[gris gris]

the problem is some places have a very strict limit of people and include any adults that stay in that number even if they aren't participating, it doesn't seem fair for the people throwing the party to either have to pay for the extra adults, and siblings (which isn't even possible in this case) or to have to tell your child that they can't invite half the people they want because parents want to come and you have to pay for them also. If the parents can stay free then I don't have a problem with it.

Parents are included free - it's just a 30 children max rule. Our aquarium does a traveling party, they come to your location for 1 hour with a puppet show, skit and also a tank of live animals that they can touch.

 

[TheDizMom]

I have done a lot of these parties and I have never had any parent bring their other children with them and expect to have them included, and I think that most parents understand that the child on the invite is the one attending not all of their children. I also think that most parents know that when you are doing a location party that you are paying for each child attending. That being said if you are that concerned about it you should of course put something in the invitation. Since adults aren't the issue just siblings, the parents should be aware they will not be able to bring siblings so they can either get a sitter if they want to remain with their child or RSVP that the invited child can not attend. You just need to word it very tactfully, and send the invitation out at least 2 weeks in advance so they have the time to find a sitter for their other child/ren if need be. There is nothing worse then getting an invitation for a party the same week it is to be held and then be expected to find a sitter on short notice.

 

[GoinToDisney]

That is the quote I like. I'd surprised if you ended up with 30 kids, so I hope it isn't an issue. Personally, I'd feel funny putting the note in, but that is probably just because we invite families to parties, not just kids. My dd is only 3, so we are not quite there yet. ASFCurly, I can see what you mean about having to pay for parents, but I don't think it's rude for parents to want to stay. I did teach first grade before becoming a mommy, and I know the parents stayed at the parties where I taught because they would get together and talk about us teachers. Maybe it is teaching first grade and dealing with all types of parents and their kids that makes me say that I will stay if I don't know parents. I definitely had some parents who I would not trust my dd with, and I saw how they ran holiday parties as room moms.

 

[monorailsilver]

OOoooohhhh your doing a Mystic party? I thought about that but since I live about 10 min north of you, I didn't want to do that to my guests.

Wait you said traveling, is it the one that they come to your house?

Anyways, a few years ago my oldest was invited to a party at the children's museum in Niantic.

On the invite it said "siblings welcome but must pay admission". I was fine with that since I had to bring my youngest at the time. I was all set to pay when I walked in & the lady at the counter just waved me in.

OT, but did you get to do the bird exhibit there? We went 3 times & the 1st 2 times we didn't walk into the birds until about 11 & they wanted nothing to do with us. When we went at the end of August we got in there shortly after 10 & they were swarming us. It was great. My kids loved that, even my youngest (19 months). They also love the sting rays too.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I think it must vary with location but around here parents often bring sibblings along to a party. I would be sure to make some note of the limits before the party. You mentioned preschool so I asume you are talking very young children and I
would expect many parents to stay . Since that is not a problem, I think you would be fine with including a polite note to the effect of limit space = no sibblings. i aslo do not think you will have all 30 but you would not want to allow one class member to bring a sibbling and another to not. That would create problems between you and other moms. Make a rule and stick with it. Good luck and try not to worry.

 

[gris gris]

OOoooohhhh your doing a Mystic party? I thought about that but since I live about 10 min north of you, I didn't want to do that to my guests.

Wait you said traveling, is it the one that they come to your house?

Anyways, a few years ago my oldest was invited to a party at the children's museum in Niantic.

On the invite it said "siblings welcome but must pay admission". I was fine with that since I had to bring my youngest at the time. I was all set to pay when I walked in & the lady at the counter just waved me in.

OT, but did you get to do the bird exhibit there? We went 3 times & the 1st 2 times we didn't walk into the birds until about 11 & they wanted nothing to do with us. When we went at the end of August we got in there shortly after 10 & they were swarming us. It was great. My kids loved that, even my youngest (19 months). They also love the sting rays too.

It is the Mystic traveling party - much cheaper than the party at the aquarium! We did go to the bird exhibit and they didn't come near us! There were so many people in there that were taller than us and all the birds were hanging out on top eating. It was neat, but I was so afraid they'd poop on me us!

 

[gris gris]

Thanks for all the advice!! What do you think about this?

We are having a Mystic Aquarium traveling party and the aquarium has a strict limit of 30 children. Please let me know in advance if you might need to bring a sibling so I can let you know if there will be room (space?). We're trying our best to make sure there is room for Liv's friends and family.

This way I'm giving the option for siblings if I can fit them in.

 

[seashoreCM]

We're actually inviting 36 kids (entire class, church friends, preschool friends) and not expecting all 36, but I just need to make sure I don't go over 30..

A bit OT: I think you are living dangerously, unless some of the non-school invitees (church friends, etc.) know they are stand-by's.

Disney hints: http://members.aol.com/ajaynejr/disney.htm

Should a parent ask in advance whether there is extra space for a sibling, you could choose whether to say outright that the aquarium is fully booked or say that the sibling would be considered on a first come basis to stand by.

Do be aware that bringing an additional person unannounced constitutes rude behavior and we as parents (oops, I'm childless) need to do everything we can to squelch all forms of rude behavior by both our generation and the next.

I do want to suggest that classmates who bring siblings or other additional persons to parties unnannounced should face the prospect of not being invited to future parties even though everyone else in the class was invited. But for the party in question there is no opportunity to spread the word, namely get that word in edgewise.

 

[LilGMom]

A bit OT: I think you are living dangerously, unless some of the non-school invitees (church friends, etc.) know they are stand-by's.

I agree. You say that you can't have any more than 30 kids yet you are inviting 36. What are you going to do if all 36 show up? Only let in the first 30? I'm sure the chances of all 36 invited kids showing is probably pretty slim but for parties that are 'neat' or have a fun theme/activity scheduled more people make sure their kids attend when invited.

 

[lclark0621]

We're actually inviting 36 kids (entire class, church friends, preschool friends) and not expecting all 36, but I just need to make sure I don't go over 30.

Wow! You are playing with fire here. We had DS's birthday in the middle of July. We invited his entire clas when school let out as well as outside friends. DH was "sure" not everyone would show up because it was the middle of summer, people would be on vacation, people would forget, etc.

EVERY SINGLE kid showed up for the party. We had way more then we thought, though thankfully everyone RSVPed, so we knew how many would be here (even if they did tell me WAY past the RSVP date, giving me little to no time to prepare).

And a lot of the parents brought siblings. Everyone who brough a sibling asked me when they called/emailed if it was ok to bring them.

Thankfully every parent stayed to. I couldn't imagine that many kids, with only DH & myself (and the entertainer) to keep them all with in sight, and this was at my house, not a location.

When DS goes to a party, I or DH stay. I couldn't imagine leaving my son with 30 or so other kids somewhere with maybe 3 adults & a party attendant. No way!

Every party DS has been to, the parents stay. And I have never seen a place charge for parents, usually just the kids.

 

[gris gris]

A bit OT: I think you are living dangerously, unless some of the non-school invitees (church friends, etc.) know they are stand-by's.

No one is a stand by. We're inviting her entire kindergarten class because of the school rules.

So if I invite 30 kids and all 30 come, my original question is still the same, how do you handle siblings.

The location is a small banquet hall. I'm expecting parents to stay. Our adult family members will be there too. There will be more adults than children.

 

[kitn]

I am not sure how it is where you live, but people rarely RSVP here. I still am in shock every time I throw a party because about 1 in 10 RSVP. I never have any idea how many people are comming. My point is to expect for some to show up who dont RSVP.