Is the first year of marriage the hardest?

[CyranoJones]

We've been married for 23 years and I wouldn't say that the first year is the hardest. Every year, every stage your children go through, every illness that strikes...these are all things that are stressors in a marriage. You just learn to work through them together, RESPECT!! each other, and value each other's opinions. And the good times certainly outweigh the difficult ones.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Talking among my girlfriends we have figured out that the 7th year was the hardest. The husbands seemed to do a major change. Most of them hating their jobs and finding a different one. In more than one relationship the husband just up and quit his job.

hmmm....

Oh and I have been married for 13yrs.

 

[tkd lisa]

I didn't vote either, because I don't fit into any of the answers. Maybe we should have one that says it can be a roller coaster.

Our first year was great. We had spent a tremendous amount of time together the 11 months we were engaged, so we didn't have the 1st year problems of learning each others annoying habits.

Our bad year was actually our 10th year. We almost didn't celebrate on our 10th anniversary, because I was walking on eggshells around DH. We worked through it, and it's much better now. I do believe that the more your external stress, the harder the year in the marriage. It's just human nature to vent your problems on those who you're close to.

 

[liznboys]

Our first year of marriage (with no kids) was a piece of cake! LOL! We also lived together for a year and a half before we got married... Now the true test came when we had our first son and he was not a good sleeper at all. So being sleep deprived made life (and marriage) hard for awhile.

 

[cheyita]

I think off and on the first few years had its challenges for us. The first couple of years had moments where we were learning the ropes, then we had a baby and we had a whole new set of ropes to learn. Plus, I was sick for a while and that added to the complications.

I think the past few years have been easier - less fights, less stress. And we feel as in love as ever. We just passed our ten-year anniversary.

 

[browneyes]

I've always heard the last year of a marriage is the hardest.

I hope you had a Happy Anniversary, Laura.

 

[Hillbeans]

I'm married 5 years, and our hardest year was our 3rd. We had a child, my DH's best friend died, etc.

I think it really depends what else you've got going on in your life. The first year could be hard if you've never lived out on your own before - then there would be a lot of changes.

 

[poohtown]

I always say that our marriage surrived the first year because we worked different shifts and barely saw each other. LOL. I found that we have our hardest times during a big adjustment. Ex. planning the wedding, our first house, our first child. Now we seem to be in the swing of things although little things come up now and then. Our next big fight will probably be coming up - oldest is getting her license.

 

[JKMastalski]

My first wedding anniversary was last October. The first year was horrible for me...great marriage, but I had to move to a new state, start a new job...so alot of it was taken out on my hubby. After the first year of being adjusted, things have definitly gotten better. I am hoping everything will be uphill from here!

 

[stinkerbelle]

DH and I have been married for 8 MONTHS...(first anniversary in September) and, I'd like to think, we've had it pretty easy.

We met in 1995. dated, broke up, got back together in 1999, moved into together in 2000 when we bought our first home, he prop0sed in 2001, we sold our house in 2003, moved to an apartment, built a house and got married in 2003 (that was a ROUGH 6 months!) and moved into our new house shortly after returning from our honeymoon.

Things have been going really well for us...I'm sure once we deceide the time is right for a baby...it may be different - but we are having fun being young and doing what we enjoy best before REALLY setteling down.

 

[piglet too]

I voted that it keeps getting better. however, our most difficult year came around year three. However, we did live with my parents for close to the first five years, so that makes a huge difference. I would say that since we have been on our own, it has beeen great!!

 

[vald1977]

Originally posted by browneyes
I've always heard the last year of a marriage is the hardest.

I hope you had a Happy Anniversary, Laura.

I like browneyes' answer!

Happy Anniversary !

 

[Luckymommyx2]

Happy Anniversary Laura! Our first year was our most difficult by far. We had a lot of trials and tribulations but I believe it just made us that much stronger going through it together. I does get better and better...just like a pair of comfy sweats and sneakers!

 

[Laura]

Wow! Thanks to all for posting and voting. It's fun to read everyone's responses.

And also, thank you to everyone for wishing us well. We had dinner last night at the restaurant where we got engaged.

 

[caitycaity]

we're coming up on our 3rd anniversary. so far, the first year was definitely the hardest - eventhough we lived together before getting married. we have had things to work through since then, but the first year was really difficult, imho. we are both very independent people and i think being married took some adjustment and compromise. i'm sure we will have some rough times in the future, but i voted for it just keeps getting better and better.

congratulations on your 1 year anniversary.

 

[4greatboys]

Our first year of marriage was tough and most of it had nothing to do with the marriage. We had a miscarriage and my mom had been diagnosed with cancer. I did end up getting pg again during this time which was wonderful but the rest of the circumstances sucked. By our first anniversary my mom had passed away and we had a newborn.
My dh was great though, watching my 2 oldest for me while I took care of my mom or when I had to work late.

 

[Geezer]

First year is the toughest, and it's all gravey from there on in!

 

[llebrekniT]

We've been married 16 years and I would have to say the 12th to 14th years were the toughest. We've kind of gone through that phase where everything the other one does annoys you and worked through it. At this point it seems to get better and better.

It is a day to day process, but I don't like to call it work.

Consideration, caring and cooperation. Lots of love and remembering the good times, learning from the bad times.

It's not always easy, but it is always worthwhile.

 

[Micca]

I think the biggest adjustment comes the first year, but I don't think it's necessarily the hardest. In general I think life has been harder in some years, but marriage has been a steady, comforting thing through all of that.

 

[Disney Doll]

A couple of eeks ago, we went to a wedding and the father of the bride gave a great toast. He and the mother of the bride have been married 25+ years, and he said something to the effect of "Marriages are lived one day at a time, you just get through today, and then you get through tomorrow, and so on. When things get rough, due to external or internal pressures, fix today, and don't worry about tomorrow." I thought it was very wise advice. Especially when times are tough, all you have to do is get through one day at a time. When DH's parents were sick, that's how we did it. We didn't look to 9 months down the road or whatever...we took care of what needed to be taken care of that day.