Is it wrong.....?

[goofinoff]

That I don't like my neighbor's kids? They are rude, roam the neighborhood at all hours and their parents can't find them, ask if they can have a snack or stay for lunch or dinner, show up at the door with their swim suits on and towels in hand asking if they can go swim in our pool. One of them even walked right in our house one evening while we were sitting down to eat...didn't knock or ring the bell just walked right in. My kids like them and always want to have them over but I can't take them! They are loud and they have no manners! I know it's the parents fault but I just don't want my kids around them! Is that wrong?

 

[Donaldswife]

I don't think it is wrong at all. Just because you live near someone doesn't mean you have to like them. Heck, I can only think of one or two kids in our whole neighborhood that I actually DO like!

 

[Scurvy]

No, it's not wrong. I like kids, but I don't like badly behaved, rude, entitled kids - and I certainly wouldn't want my child spending much time around kids like that! Your neighbor's kids don't sound at all likeable.

 

[Pumbaa_]

your house, your rules - teach them how you would like them to act

you must call before comig over to see if you can swim (if you allow them in at all)
you must always knock and WAIT for someone to let you in

etc. whatever your hot buttons are

good luck!

 

[Disney Doll]

I agree with Pumbaa...your house your rules.
No they cannot walk in.
They must wait to be invited to use the pool. Show in a bathing suit holding a towel and you will be sent home.
If they want something,they ask for it.
Rudeness is not tolerated. If they are rude, they will be asked to leave.

 

[Kim&Chris]

Oooh, they sound just peachy.

I agree with the above posters. Your house, your rules. I can't blame you for not liking them.

 

[lovesmurfs]

That I don't like my neighbor's kids? They are rude, roam the neighborhood at all hours and their parents can't find them, ask if they can have a snack or stay for lunch or dinner, show up at the door with their swim suits on and towels in hand asking if they can go swim in our pool. One of them even walked right in our house one evening while we were sitting down to eat...didn't knock or ring the bell just walked right in. My kids like them and always want to have them over but I can't take them! They are loud and they have no manners! I know it's the parents fault but I just don't want my kids around them! Is that wrong?

Not wrong at all. I would talk to your kids first to explain, and then have a sit-down with the parents.

We had a somewhat similar situation. Because my son enjoyed playing with a girl down the street (and because I wanted to show the her what a stable family was), I allowed her to come over, with certain boundaries: 1) a time limit (1 hour was about what I could handle); 2) pre-arranged visits (i.e. set up in advance with no drop-ins); and 3) I was firm with the end-time, regardless of the movie or game they might be in the middle of.

And start being the "bad" mom who says No. No. No. They'll get the idea after a while. I would be sure your pool area is locked when you're not home.

 

[Elvistelth]

I know it's the parents fault but I just don't want my kids around them! Is that wrong?

...no, it's called parenting.

 

[pilesoflaundry]

No. I know it's the parents fault in those instances but I don't want to end up snapping at a kid because I want to choke their parents for leaving the parenting work to everyone else in the neighborhood. So sometimes I just don't like certain kids or don't let them over.

 

[minkydog]

Well, you can start by locking your doors! you're lucky that it was only a kid who came walking in, not the guy who was casing the joint!

I agree with you about these kids. I would be plenty put out with their rude behavior. And I would have NO PROBLEM telling them to go home with their floaties and pool towels and don't come back. You will have to be very firm with these kids. Talking with them will not make a dent in their understanding. They have no frame of reference for appropriate behavior. You don't have to be ugly about it(not that you would be, of course) but a firm "No, we're not having company this afternoon" will eventually get through to them. Wash, rinse, repeat as needed.

 

[goofinoff]

Not wrong at all. I would talk to your kids first to explain, and then have a sit-down with the parents.

Tried that once! Their daughter did something here one day when my mom was watching the kids that was not called for and my mom sent her home. So I called the mother to let her know why her daughter was sent home. Her response was "Well she said your kids started it!", which wasn't the case. So I nicely told her what my mom observed and stated that HER daughter was the instigator. She told me she would speak to her daughter. Later that week I found out that she was bad mouthing me to several neighbors!
So now if her kids get unruley at my house, I tell them it's time for them to go home.

 

[kimblebee]

Well, you can start by locking your doors! you're lucky that it was only a kid who came walking in, not the guy who was casing the joint!

I agree with you about these kids. I would be plenty put out with their rude behavior. And I would have NO PROBLEM telling them to go home with their floaties and pool towels and don't come back. You will have to be very firm with these kids. Talking with them will not make a dent in their understanding. They have no frame of reference for appropriate behavior. You don't have to be ugly about it(not that you would be, of course) but a firm "No, we're not having company this afternoon" will eventually get through to them. Wash, rinse, repeat as needed.

Is it normal for people to lock their doors all the time? I can't remember once at my house now or at home when I was growing up when we kept the doors locked during the daytime. I live in a pretty big city (700,000) but it has honestly never occured to me to lock the door all the time. I'm now thinking of friends and family and can't think of anyone who DOES keep their door locked all the time.

 

[KarenB]

Nope, not wrong at all. If it makes you feel better, you can say the kids aren't bad, it is the behavior you don't like.

 

[Elvistelth]

Is it normal for people to lock their doors all the time? I'm now thinking of friends and family and can't think of anyone who DOES keep their door locked all the time.

I do.

 

[dakcp2001]

Is it normal for people to lock their doors all the time? I can't remember once at my house now or at home when I was growing up when we kept the doors locked during the daytime. I live in a pretty big city (700,000) but it has honestly never occured to me to lock the door all the time. I'm now thinking of friends and family and can't think of anyone who DOES keep their door locked all the time.

Um YES. Hello! lol. We lock our doors at all times. ALways have, always will. Safety first!

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

I lock the screen when we are eating, late at night, and if I am doing the wash.

 

[bumbershoot]

Is it normal for people to lock their doors all the time? I can't remember once at my house now or at home when I was growing up when we kept the doors locked during the daytime. I live in a pretty big city (700,000) but it has honestly never occured to me to lock the door all the time. I'm now thinking of friends and family and can't think of anyone who DOES keep their door locked all the time.

I do, and I live in a condo in a secure building!

Last place we lived in, a secure apartment building, DS and I got off at the wrong floor, went to what I thought was our apartment, and went to walk in b/c for whatever reason I hadn't locked the door when we went to check the mail. Um, NOT our apartment, not our floor! Whoops!

Since I don't want someone doing that to me, I lock up now.

 

[arminnie]

Is it normal for people to lock their doors all the time? I can't remember once at my house now or at home when I was growing up when we kept the doors locked during the daytime. I live in a pretty big city (700,000) but it has honestly never occured to me to lock the door all the time. I'm now thinking of friends and family and can't think of anyone who DOES keep their door locked all the time.

This is an answer from someone who kept their backdoor unlocked 24/7 for the past DECADE:
Lock your doors. I am reading "The Stranger Beside Me" by Ann Rule. It's all about the Ted Bundy murders. I can't believe that I am still alive.

Honestly the first time ANYONE of any age walks in unannounced is the time to lock the doors.

 

[dislaney]

We lock our doors as well! I would tell those kids the rules and if they don't follow them, send them home. Better yet don't let them in, your door will be locked!

 

[kimblebee]

Even after reading the replies I am no closer to locking my doors during the daytime. I've been around it for 34 years now and nothing has ever happened. Not to say it couldn't happen but I don't want to live my life in fear of things that may happen. If I did that I would sit in my house all day. Well, I couldn't do that, it might explode. I guess I could go and sit in the back yard. No, I might get bitten by a mosquito carrying West Nile virus. An open field is out because the pesticides will get me for sure.