Is it the MOM in me or am I right? Long Rant!

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

My 2 dds have been going to story and craft time at the library for quite some time. They are almost 5 and 7 1/2. Usually my soon to be 3 year old son and I hang out waiting for them reading books, playing etc. He has never shown any interest in going into the craft room. Well today was an "ice cream social" and my 5 yo was so looking forward to it. Since it was raining I decided to go. When we get there, all that was there was my friend and her 2 kids ages 4 and 7. Her 4 yo is my sons best buddy. Since I know Jackson is a little young I ask nicely if he could attend the party, miss puss fact freaking librarian says no. I then ask nicely if he could just have some ice cream, miss puss face freakin librarian says NO! But she will give him a lolly pop. MSo the four kids enter the room, and DS starts freakin out, cannot understand why he is not allowed in. Well after a few seconds I realize this is really wrong, and I go into take my girls. Miss puss face freakin librarian then says, well I guess he can have some ice cream but take him outside on the steps to eat it. I said oh, you mean like a dog, no thanks I will buy my kids ice cream and we left.

My 5 y/o was really upset, while my older one totally understood. She said to me, boy, she was really not nice.

So should I write her a letter, confront her or just let it go.

 

[lulugirl]

Was the three year old not let in because there was an age limit?

 

[Mermaid02]

Way to make a kid like the library and reading I'd be po'd!

 

[Microcell]

See my thread posted right before yours, so I am pretty biased and would like to offer to scream at the old cow for you!! You wouldn't get a bad rep at the library and I could feel better!

Seriously, I guess you may want to let it go if you want to go to the library without feeling bad. Or you could talk to her supervisor about the fact that good customer service should be important at a library too. I have a two year old and it feels like he is excluded from everything so I know how you feel.

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

Originally posted by lulugirl
Was the three year old not let in because there was an age limit?

Yes there are age limits but the other little boy doesn't meet the age requirement ether And my friend just called to add fuel to the fire, another woman came in with her 2 kids who I also know (the little boy is 6 weks older than my son) and she let them in! I'm still so pissed.

 

[decker96]

From a mom's point of view I totally understand what you are saying, I think it was a little ridiculous not to let him in or at least let him have some ice cream. It doesn't sound like the librarian handled it very professionally at all, wanting him to eat the ice cream outside, what is up with that?! I would have been angry as well because my child was sad.
That being said, I also understand that they have to draw the line somewhere (although I think the librarian could have handled it in a much nicer way!). If everyone brought their younger siblings, what would be the point of having an age limit? Last Christmas we went to Steamboat Springs, CO skiing with my husband's family. We wanted to put our two oldest kids in the ski school. The problem was that DS was 3 and 2 months and you had to be 3 1/2 to be in it. He met all the other requirements, he was potty trained, etc. and he really wanted to go. I called and talked to the director personally and she apologized very nicely and explained that she could not make an exception for him. I was mad, but I understood.
They obviously have the age limits in place for a reason. If you want to complain to someone because she was rude, then I say go for it, but if you want to do it because she wouldn't break the rules, then I wouldn't. She was just doing her job, although it sounds like she was very rude about it.


Okay, I just read your second post. If other kids who were too young were getting in, but she wouldn't let in your son then I definitely would complain to someone, her or her boss. That's absolutely ridiculous!!!

 

[phamton]

Your son is "soon to be 3 years old" so he is still 2. He didn't attend any of the story and craft classes but wanted to go to the social. I'm assuming the social was for the members of the class. I would not have even asked to take him in. If he wanted ice cream or felt left out, I would have dropped off my other kids and gone with him in the car to get ice cream.

 

[Aimeedyan]

Hmm.

This is my take. He shouldn't have been taken in the first place, since he was not apart of the group in the first place and it doesn't seem fair to just show up for a social. I would have dropped off the older children and taken him out for a special time alone... I tend to think that things like special socials will get overrun by extended families that want to just show up for the good stuff. I KNOW that's not what you intended, but it happens ALL the time... not just library events, but anything. and many times, if they let one, they have to let them all, and they run out of supplies/refreshments due to the large crowd.

BUT

Since you did choose to take him, and others were allowed in that were younger than him, then I would have an issue with it. It would be one thing if they said no to all of them, but since they seemed to make exceptions for others, and left YOUR child out, then yes, I would write a very nice, calm letter to the person who runs your local library branch and let them know your exps with the particular librarian. The fact that she was rude adds insult to injury, doesn't it? Argh.

Sorry that happened =( I hope you all got to go out and enjoy a cone together

 

[Snowysmom]

If the social was for the kids in the crafts program then I can understand why children who have not been attending the program were not allowed in. However, if other siblings were allowed in, then your son should have been too. In the libraries where I have worked, usually the program participants are the only ones who get the perks. If she was going to let him have some ice cream why couldn't he eat it with the other kids? A nice letter may be the way to handle it. Just state the facts and be nice, but firm.

 

[phamton]

Originally posted by Aimeedyan

Since you did choose to take him, and others were allowed in that were younger than him, then I would have an issue with it.

No one younger than him was admitted. A 4 year old and another child who was 6 weeks older than him went. Maybe the fact that he was 2 and not 3 yet might have been an issue. Otherwise, I do agree with your post. Aimeedyan. He didn't attend the class and then wanted ice cream.

There are several other possibilities besides just age. Maybe when the original poster asked, the librarian wasn't sure how many would be there or if she had enough ice cream. When the other family arrived later, she may have had a better idea if she had enough ice cream to go around. Another possibility is the maturity of the child. Had she observed the 2 year acting a little hyper and was afraid he'd spill his ice cream. There are numerous reasons but the bottom line is that he wasn't invited. He won't be scarred for life and never read a book because of this one incident. He's only 2 and won't even remember. I'd do something special with him and let my other kids enjoy the party that they earned by attending class.

Calling the librarian names in your post, i.e. "miss puss face freaking librarian" sounds a little immature. It certainly didn't further your cause in my mind.

 

[disykat]

Here's my guess. I would guess that the other parents didn't ask and just took their kids in against the rules. For some reason the librarian didn't confront them. When you asked she answered with their policy that no younger siblings would be allowed. While it may seem unfair, you can feel good about the fact that you didn't just barge in.

I think the librarian was doing her job. The ones that were in the wrong were the other people that sneaked their other kids in without permission.

 

[CamColt]

I agree if there was an age limit and he didnt meet it, I wouldnt have felt right about asking if he could participate. However, if the librarian HAD to say no(for example there wouldnt be enough for the other kids) she could has been polite about it and explained why.

 

[Bojangles]

Originally posted by MOMTOMOOTOO


So should I write her a letter, confront her or just let it go.

Let it go. I'm sure you think you child was slighted, but you can't get this worked up every time it happens. Writing a letter or a big confrontation over a little dish of icecream your son didn't get is just silly.


If the ice cream was just for people who attended the class, you shouldn't have tried to bring him in.

 

[HollyJoy]

I think you had every right to do what you did. What was the big deal about him having some ice cream? Come on. I would complain to the Library.

 

[Luv2Roam]

I don't think one two year old is going to make or break anything -- unless he was being unruly (distraction) or they were overcrowded.
I would have thought it would be a good gesture and an opportunity to get him accustomed to parties and the library.

 

[canwegosoon]

I would try to let it go...I know it wasn't a good experience, but a friend had a similar exp. to yours and she now goes to a library 20 miles away in another county.

 

[IceQueen777]

WHY do people always worry about what everyone else is doing or what they are getting away with? Bottom line, this was a social for the kids in the class, your son is NOT in the class, so you shouldn't have even expected to get him in.

Kids need to learn sometime that they aren't entitled to do everything. This could have been a good opportunity to teach him about that.

 

[septbride2002]

Kids need to learn sometime that they aren't entitled to do everything. This could have been a good opportunity to teach him about that.

Yeah at 3 years old I'm sure he really understood the lesson - please!

 

[IceQueen777]

Originally posted by septbride2002
Yeah at 3 years old I'm sure he really understood the lesson - please!

I have two children, so I have some experience with children. A child who is almost 3 should certainly be able to understand "This is a party for your sister's class. I will take you to get some ice cream later."

If you don't start teaching them young that they can't have everything, they will become very spoiled. I think that is why we have so many spoiled kids today...parents can't say no!

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

Originally posted by decker96
Okay, I just read your second post. If other kids who were too young were getting in, but she wouldn't let in your son then I definitely would complain to someone, her or her boss. That's absolutely ridiculous!!!

That is exactly my point. I would not have even asked except for the fact that his best buddy was going in. Now keep in mind, there were only two other kids when we showed up, and one was also underage. I was not trying to nail some free ice cream, sheesh!

I know rules are in place for a reason, but the rules were not followed.

As far as dropping my other kids off, maybe you Phamton are comfortable with that, by with me not gonna happen.

I'm over it now, reading and the library are far too important than some Ms puss face freakin librarian (that was for you phamton}