Is It That Hard To Ask? A Pregnant Vent ;)

[GJM]

What happens if you are sick 9 months - do you expect people to come cook meals, clean and do the shopping for you. I can see if you are on bed rest, but honestly why can't your DH do some of this stuff? I still don't understand why you DH can't make his own meals!

Be prepared for after the baby is born, and you have a child to take care of and you are sick. You just can't lie in bed then. There have been times, when I was sick and DH was away for work and I had to take care of DS - he still had to eat.

When I was pregnant a woman I worked with was pregnant the same time. We were allowed 4 weeks disability off before our due date - she took hers. She was actually mad at me because I didn't use mine and I just worked up until the day I delivered. I felt fine, hospital was close and DH worked in the same town.

 

[DSNY4ever]

I think it is a reference to stick a fork in it it's done (meaning the thread is just repeating itself now and the OP has bailed). Then again, maybe she is testing to see if the SIGHT of food has the same effect on the OP as the smell does

Haha, got it. Well it made me hungry!

 

[lilybrooke14]

Hang in there. OP should be happy (well not really) that the morning sickness is happening with the first baby. I didn't get it until the third pregnancy and that wasn't very convenient.

Thank you. I had hyperemesis with my daughter. It sucks, but it happens.

I've just finished negotiations with her. Apparently, if I'll play horsies with her for 50 minutes (her number) then she'll watch tv and let me nap on the couch. We'll see if she holds up her end of the bargain.

No. I'm not above bribery.

 

[sunnyday123]

Thank you. I had hyperemesis with my daughter. It sucks, but it happens.

I've just finished negotiations with her. Apparently, if I'll play horsies with her for 50 minutes (her number) then she'll watch tv and let me nap on the couch. We'll see if she holds up her end of the bargain.

No. I'm not above bribery.

The best thing about that is 4 yr olds don't really "get" what 50 minutes is! And yes, I used bribery all the time-in the right situation, it's perfect.

 

[Nancyg56]

You are getting lost of offers of help that you turn down but you are upset at your MIL for not offering. Why? Do you just want to tell her no? Maybe she knows you will turn her down and does not want that rejection.

If you need help from her then ask.

This. I am not trying to be nasty but some folks will not intrude for fear of offending. I am not that kind of MIL, I will not offer, I just dig in. My own DMIl would never have done anything that reminded her of her own MIL so if I needed help I needed to ask.

Sons essentially divorce their mothers when they get married. ("A son is a son until he takes a wife.") If a MIL doesn't seem especially friendly and/or helpful to her DIL, this might be the reason why.

Oh dear................I hope my DDIL's don't feel this way about me. I love my sons and would never ask that my DDIl or my future DDIL take second chair to me but I rather doubt that my sons would "divorce" me.

 

[DeluxePrincess]

The best thing about that is 4 yr olds don't really "get" what 50 minutes is! And yes, I used bribery all the time-in the right situation, it's perfect.

Yep, 50 minutes can be very flexible for a 4 yo.

OP, I am sorry that you are feeling so awful. I had horrible "morning" sickness with my DS3, who is my second child. The first time around I worked up until my due date and thought what a breeze pregnancy is. What are all these ladies complaining about? Karma got me good with DS! Luckily I was a SAHM at the time and could rest when needed. My DH still helped me around the house tremendously during that time. My MIL, although supportive, did not come around to help out, and I did not expect her to. I hope you are feeling better soon.

 

[pilotwife_02]

I don't know why that ham is there, but it looks delicious.

Me either, but now I "need" to have a ham (you know pregnancy cravings ), I might have to have one for dinner tomorrow.

I understand feeling crappy, I have gotten m/s worse with each pregnancy and this time I was on a lot of meds to help, have 2 little ones, work a high stress FT job with a dh that travels A LOT (and NO family withing 450 miles of me). However, I never expected anyone to offer to help, it's not their job or responsibility to help me.

The offers are nice, but for those who didn't I would never hold it against them.

Please try and let it go, I can almost guarantee there will be other times your MIL will do stuff that will get on your nerves, this is really minor compared to those...LOL

 

[Mrs. Darcy]

SHe wants her MIL to show her that she cares whats going on. Its seems that the OP sees her MILs lack of offering as her not caring. She may be overly emotional due to her hormones, but who are we to say what she feels is wrong. I think if everyone else around me knew how bad I was feeling and offering to help, the one person that didn't would stick out in my mind. And since its her MIL her feelings are hurt because thats one person who should "care".

OP, I hope you are feeling better soon

I think this is how Megs feels, too.

 

[Mrs. Darcy]

Sweetheart, you seem like a nice, adorable person. But the expectations to be treated like a queen just because you're pregnant are really outlandish.

Not be treated like a queen, but maybe like someone who isn't feeling too well? I know I don't want to be treated like a queen, but like a princess would be good!

My grandmother keeps telling me "you're just pregnant" like it's the same thing as having a hangnail. It hurts my feelings, although she means no harm. Maybe by my next pregnancy (God willing) pregnancy won't be such a big deal anymore.

 

[luvmy3]

But she has shown she cares she tells her to get lots of rest. If the MIL isn't a gushing type of person that is all she is going to get. That is about all I would say to a DIL, I mean really what else is there to say? She has a perfectly good adult living with her and she is still working full time, so that is all I would think of offering.


Heck thinking about it that is about all my Mom even offered me. "make sure you are getting your rest when you can"

Its just how the OP is percieving things, its the lack of offering to help that makes her feel her MIL doesn't care. I'm not going to fault the OP for how she feels, especially when she probably can't control it due to the hormones and being sick all the time.

 

[Magic Mom]

Not be treated like a queen, but maybe like someone who isn't feeling too well? I know I don't want to be treated like a queen, but like a princess would be good!

My grandmother keeps telling me "you're just pregnant" like it's the same thing as having a hangnail. It hurts my feelings, although she means no harm. Maybe by my next pregnancy (God willing) pregnancy won't be such a big deal anymore.

What about being pregnant makes you a princess to anyone but your husband?

Both of my pregnancies were exciting, happy news for our families (especially DD because it took 5 years to conceive her.) But no one treated me any different, and it never occurred to me that having an egg implant on my uterus made me royalty.

I was cheated out of my pregnancy tiara!

 

[castleview]

Not be treated like a queen, but maybe like someone who isn't feeling too well? I know I don't want to be treated like a queen, but like a princess would be good!

My grandmother keeps telling me "you're just pregnant" like it's the same thing as having a hangnail. It hurts my feelings, although she means no harm. Maybe by my next pregnancy (God willing) pregnancy won't be such a big deal anymore.

Don't know the dynamic with your grandmother, but normally I'd say don't be hurt over little comments. I'm sure your DH is treating you like a princess and that's enough for me. Congratulations by the way and have a healthy pregnancy.

 

[ilovejack02]

What about being pregnant makes you a princess to anyone but your husband?

Both of my pregnancies were exciting, happy news for our families (especially DD because it took 5 years to conceive her.) But no one treated me any different, and it never occurred to me that having an egg implant on my uterus made me royalty.

I was cheated out of my pregnancy tiara!

LOL my parents think I am a princess , but i think it is an only child thing ; ) . OR maybe they call me princess cuz I am a bit spoiled, haha at least I admit it .

I was so tired when I was pregnant I couldn't even put on my tiara those first few months. I proudly wore it for the 2nd and 3rd trimester though.

DH did really spoil me thank goodness the whole time , poor boy had to or we never would have eaten , I couldn't stand to touch meat , so unless DH cooked didn't eat much !

 

[LaurenLC]

Not be treated like a queen, but maybe like someone who isn't feeling too well? I know I don't want to be treated like a queen, but like a princess would be good!

My grandmother keeps telling me "you're just pregnant" like it's the same thing as having a hangnail. It hurts my feelings, although she means no harm. Maybe by my next pregnancy (God willing) pregnancy won't be such a big deal anymore.

Makes me wonder what you are continuing to do or say to make your grandmother say, 'you're just pregnant'. That doesn't seem like something someone says just for the heck of it.

 

[marlynnp]

Not be treated like a queen, but maybe like someone who isn't feeling too well? I know I don't want to be treated like a queen, but like a princess would be good!

My grandmother keeps telling me "you're just pregnant" like it's the same thing as having a hangnail. It hurts my feelings, although she means no harm. Maybe by my next pregnancy (God willing) pregnancy won't be such a big deal anymore.

Your grandmother sounds like a woman with good sense. I guess there's hope for you after all.

 

[DeluxePrincess]

I was cheated out of my pregnancy tiara!

I wish I'd have known they were giving these out before I decided to stop procreating!

 

[GJM]

I was also cheated out of my pregnancy tiara!

I think I even shoveled snow at one point during my pregnancy - I really never expected to be treated any different -

Also after I delivered I didn't expect special treatment except for DH to help me up out of a chair for awhile!

 

[mdsoccermom]

Not be treated like a queen, but maybe like someone who isn't feeling too well? I know I don't want to be treated like a queen, but like a princess would be good!

My grandmother keeps telling me "you're just pregnant" like it's the same thing as having a hangnail. It hurts my feelings, although she means no harm. Maybe by my next pregnancy (God willing) pregnancy won't be such a big deal anymore.

Be treated like someone who is not feeling well? When you are not feeling well, do you expect anyone besides your husband to cater to you? Probably not. I know when I don't feel well, I don't expect people to offer to bring me meals. I expect my husband to be a big boy and feed himself.

And honey, you are just pregnant. Yes, it's special - TO YOU. Your grandmother is trying to tell you that the world is not going to stop turning because you are going through the same thing women since the beginning of time have been going through.

 

[sbsteel]

Makes me wonder what you are continuing to do or say to make your grandmother say, 'you're just pregnant'. That doesn't seem like something someone says just for the heck of it.

MTE, especially at just five weeks along.

Once you realize that your pregnancy is the most important thing to YOU, you'll be well equipped to realize that your child is the most important child to YOU.

 

[lilybrooke14]

MTE, especially at just five weeks along.

Once you realize that your pregnancy is the most important thing to YOU, you'll be well equipped to realize that your child is the most important child to YOU.

That sound? Is the sound of a snowflake somewhere softly falling.