Is It That Hard To Ask? A Pregnant Vent ;)

[ols386]

I'm well aware that I am not dying. I am well aware that my "sickness" isn't life threatening. I'm well aware that my MIL owes me nothing. I wasn't hoping for anything other than a little sympathy from her.

Some of you are very mean spirited. Why can't anyone come on here and vent without bring ripped to pieces? I hope you all feel better now. I have nothing further to say here, I thank you for the kind words, and I feel sad for those who can never find it within themselves to just offer support, but rather instead constantly have to be negative.

You've been posting here long enough to know that when you post a vent, you are going to get all different kinds of opinions. Even if you consider it to be JUST a vent, others will still give their opinion. Right, wrong or otherwise, that's just a fact of life when posting on the dis boards.

I can see how the constant morning sickness can impact many other aspects of your life though...like going to work, taking care of household responsibility, etc. All you can do in this situation is just deal with it the best you can. Let the household things go for now. DH will have to pick-up the slack around the house, if you are not able to do it.

Anyways, hope you feel better very very soon.

 

[cabanafrau]

I'm well aware that I am not dying. I am well aware that my "sickness" isn't life threatening. I'm well aware that my MIL owes me nothing. I wasn't hoping for anything other than a little sympathy from her.

Some of you are very mean spirited. Why can't anyone come on here and vent without bring ripped to pieces? I hope you all feel better now. I have nothing further to say here, I thank you for the kind words, and I feel sad for those who can never find it within themselves to just offer support, but rather instead constantly have to be negative.

You're free to vent, but you must remember to give others the freedom to express their views in return. A differing view doesn't necessarily equate to a negative view, a lack of support or being torn to shreds. Sometimes we all benefit from looking at our "reflection" and saying to ourselves, is that what I really look like?

You say things w/ your MIL have been on an upswing. That's awesome, particularly w/ baby on the way. You can decide to look at the improvements in the relationship or you can hang on to the past, choosing to perceive new hurts & slights where possibly none are intended or even suspected on her side.

 

[MariDisney]

I just want to say that my DH and I have been trying to get pregnant for almost 7 years. We have a long list of failed fertility treatments all the way on up to IVF. I'll take the puking nonstop and trade you my infertility any day of the week.

Here's a lesson. It's harsh. But it's probably true. Your MIL just doesn't really care that much. I've learned that the faster I come to terms with something like that the faster I can move on and not be hung up in sadness about it. It's fact. It probably won't change. It's probably not worth your energy to even think about it. No amount of wishing on your part will change it.

All that said, I do hope you are feeling better soon and have a very happy and healthy rest of your pregnancy.

 

[NHdisneylover]

(to the red I bolded)

Oh gosh when you highlight just those parts it looks like such a mean post--which really wan't my intent. I honestly think Megs doesn't see/realize these patterns in her reactions (and since they ARE patterns and not new I doubt teh are pregnancy hormone induced)--so I feel like it may help her (and her relationship to her mother in law) if she is aware of them. Megs, I sincerely hope you are feeling better today. If you are, I truly hope you will consider going back over past threads you have started and see if you can spot these tendencies yourself when you are looking at them from outside the moment--it might help you teach yourself a new/better/calmer way of reacting to your mother in law which will likely come in very handy for years to come.

 

[luvmy3]

I'm still trying to figure out what the OP wants her MIL to do? what could she need help with that she didn't need help with before she got pregnant. Nothing has changed it is still 2 adults living alone. If your DH wasn't married he would do everything himself so where is there help needed?

SHe wants her MIL to show her that she cares whats going on. Its seems that the OP sees her MILs lack of offering as her not caring. She may be overly emotional due to her hormones, but who are we to say what she feels is wrong. I think if everyone else around me knew how bad I was feeling and offering to help, the one person that didn't would stick out in my mind. And since its her MIL her feelings are hurt because thats one person who should "care".

OP, I hope you are feeling better soon

 

[Barbossa]

Sons essentially divorce their mothers when they get married. ("A son is a son until he takes a wife.") If a MIL doesn't seem especially friendly and/or helpful to her DIL, this might be the reason why.

 

[npmommie]

OP maybe you missed my other post, but I am wondering how many weeks along you are?

 

[DebD4T]

Sons essentially divorce their mothers when they get married. ("A son is a son until he takes a wife.") If a MIL doesn't seem especially friendly and/or helpful to her DIL, this might be the reason why.

I certainly hope this isn't the norm!!! And for the record, DH hasn't "divorced" his mother. He(we) are still as close to his mom and dad as before we were married. (maybe even closer!!)

OP, I hope you soon feel better. Being sick, no matter what the reason, is no fun.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I certainly hope this isn't the norm!!! And for the record, DH hasn't "divorced" his mother. He(we) are still as close to his mom and dad as before we were married. (maybe even closer!!)

OP, I hope you soon feel better. Being sick, no matter what the reason, is no fun.

I don't think it is the norm. My husband and I both love his mother very much. I would worry about a man who sides with his mother over his wife all the time (though I would worry about there being sides in the first place) but I would also really worry about one who "divorces" his parents when he gets married. He would not be the man for me.

 

[Hannathy]

SHe wants her MIL to show her that she cares whats going on. Its seems that the OP sees her MILs lack of offering as her not caring. She may be overly emotional due to her hormones, but who are we to say what she feels is wrong. I think if everyone else around me knew how bad I was feeling and offering to help, the one person that didn't would stick out in my mind. And since its her MIL her feelings are hurt because thats one person who should "care".

OP, I hope you are feeling better soon

But she has shown she cares she tells her to get lots of rest. If the MIL isn't a gushing type of person that is all she is going to get. That is about all I would say to a DIL, I mean really what else is there to say? She has a perfectly good adult living with her and she is still working full time, so that is all I would think of offering.


Heck thinking about it that is about all my Mom even offered me. "make sure you are getting your rest when you can"

 

[castleview]

Sons essentially divorce their mothers when they get married. ("A son is a son until he takes a wife.") If a MIL doesn't seem especially friendly and/or helpful to her DIL, this might be the reason why.

That's a defeatist tone. All children when they get married (or not) go their own way and don't have the time they used to for their immediate family…especially when they create their own immediate family. Yes, many ILs handle it all wrong, but even those who do eventually accept things.

 

[DebD4T]

I don't think it is the norm. My husband and I both love his mother very much. I would worry about a man who sides with his mother over his wife all the time (though I would worry about there being sides in the first place) but I would also really worry about one who "divorces" his parents when he gets married. He would not be the man for me.

I agree completely!!

 

[FireDancer]

Perhaps this was covered but what disability (probably hidden since this is the DIS) does your husband have that makes it impossible for him to prepare a meal or shop for groceries? Millions of men around the world manage to feed themselves everyday.

 

[bellebud]

what disability (probably hidden since this is the DIS)

 

[Magic Mom]

This whole thing is so silly. I know you are sick as a dog and you are exhausted from being sick. But if you want your MIL to help, just ask her! Then, if she refuses or ridicules you, you can feel slighted. You can't be angry with someone or hurt because they couldn't read your mind. You are just pregnant with nausea, not sick with some disease. She has no reason to think you need to be babied and pampered by anyone other than your husband and maybe your own mother. Don't create drama where there is none.

Hopefully your nausea goes away soon like it usually does with expectant moms and you can get back to feeling normal.

 

[phorsenuf]

 

[lilybrooke14]

I'm pregnant. I'm due in August. I feel like hell. I'm exhausted, I'm sick, on Zofran, and I'm in a crappy mood (among other things). I have a preschooler to take care of, and my husband works crazy hours at the moment. He's hardly ever home.

He helped me clean the house this weekend. I make grocery lists and he does the shopping. I manage to feed my kid and let the dogs out to pee a few times a day. I also manage to make the beds and keep us in underwear.

My family lives hours away and our friends have jobs and kids and lives of their own.

You'll live. I promise.

 

[DSNY4ever]

I don't know why that ham is there, but it looks delicious. This thread seems really random to me, if I get sick when I am pregnant it will be up to my husband to help out because we opted to be partners in life. I won't really care what my MIL does or doesn't do. I wouldn't have any expectations of her when the baby came out either.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, hopefully you are feeling better soon.

 

[castleview]

I'm pregnant. I'm due in August. I feel like hell. I'm exhausted, I'm sick, on Zofran, and I'm in a crappy mood (among other things). I have a preschooler to take care of, and my husband works crazy hours at the moment. He's hardly ever home.

He helped me clean the house this weekend. I make grocery lists and he does the shopping. I manage to feed my kid and let the dogs out to pee a few times a day. I also manage to make the beds and keep us in underwear.

My family lives hours away and our friends have jobs and kids and lives of their own.

You'll live. I promise.

Hang in there. OP should be happy (well not really) that the morning sickness is happening with the first baby. I didn't get it until the third pregnancy and that wasn't very convenient.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I don't know why that ham is there, but it looks delicious. This thread seems really random to me, if I get sick when I am pregnant it will be up to my husband to help out because we opted to be partners in life. I won't really care what my MIL does or doesn't do. I wouldn't have any expectations of her when the baby came out either.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, hopefully you are feeling better soon.

I think it is a reference to stick a fork in it it's done (meaning the thread is just repeating itself now and the OP has bailed). Then again, maybe she is testing to see if the SIGHT of food has the same effect on the OP as the smell does