Is It That Hard To Ask? A Pregnant Vent ;)

[ols386]

Wow people, cut this poor mommy-to-be some slack. I'm not pregnant, and I don't have any hormone issues, but I feel her hurt at this situation. She just wants to feel like her MIL cares and is willing to step up and help. Personally, if she offered I would let her do some things to help. Someday OP may need to help her MIL.

We are all allowed to give our honest opinions, whether you agree with them or not. I gave my honest opinion, just like you gave yours. Not everyone sees things the same way.

 

[ols386]

I'm not "upset", just hurt. Heck, if she offered to bring a few meals over, I would probably accept, just so my DH had something to eat. I just thought we were turning a corner, and it just hurts my feelings that she can't find it in her to just ASK. I don't think that's crazy of me. And I know she knows I wouldn't be upset.

I remember many a time my parents saying to me, "Even if you know someone will probably say no, it's always nice to ask and show them you care, just in case they DO want help." Maybe that was just how I was brought up, I don't know.

Just needed to vent, but feel free to continue with me, I'm used to it by now!

What would be wrong with you "asking" for her help? If there is something specific, like bringing food, as you said...then ask her. I bet if you asked, she would do it. I understand what you're saying about her being the one to ask, but there isn't anything wrong with asking for help either.

 

[AKL_Megs]

What would be wrong with you "asking" for her help? If there is something specific, like bringing food, as you said...then ask her. I bet if you asked, she would do it. I understand what you're saying about her being the one to ask, but there isn't anything wrong with asking for help either.

No, this is true. I could ask, but I won't until I absolutely need help. I hate to burden others when I can manage, but it still feels good to know people care enough to ask if you need help when they know times are tough. That's my only point. I wouldn't hesitate to ask her if I could do anything to help if she was sick.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Talking about being in a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.

If you want her to do something, then tell her. Ask her to bring over the favorite meal she made for your husband or his favorite cookies and beer.

You were complaining like 2 months ago about her trying to come over and help when he was sick. You took offense to her offer then.

How are you going to have a real relationship with your MIL if you find fault with her for anything she does or doesn't do?

I hope you feel better.

 

[RitaE]

What's with the winky smilie guy on the Thread Title. Is this supposed to be some kind of joke?

And what exactly does "I'm not upset, just hurt" even mean????

It sounds to me like you're pissed because your MIL isn't pampering you and you want to be pampered.

 

[AKL_Megs]

Talking about being in a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.

If you want her to do something, then tell her. Ask her to bring over the favorite meal she made for your husband or his favorite cookies and beer.

You were complaining like 2 months ago about her trying to come over and help when he was sick. You took offense to her offer then.

How are you going to have a real relationship with your MIL if you find fault with her for anything she does or doesn't do?

I hope you feel better.

LOL, she didn't offer help, she offered me suggestions on how to administer medication! Honestly, we've come a LOOONG way since she found out we were trying for a baby three months ago.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

I'm not "upset", just hurt. Heck, if she offered to bring a few meals over, I would probably accept, just so my DH had something to eat. I just thought we were turning a corner, and it just hurts my feelings that she can't find it in her to just ASK. I don't think that's crazy of me. And I know she knows I wouldn't be upset.

I remember many a time my parents saying to me, "Even if you know someone will probably say no, it's always nice to ask and show them you care, just in case they DO want help." Maybe that was just how I was brought up, I don't know.

Just needed to vent, but feel free to continue with me, I'm used to it by now!

You are never going to turn the corner if you continue to look for things to be pissy about.

 

[AKL_Megs]

What's with the winky smilie guy on the Thread Title. Is this supposed to be some kind of joke?

And what exactly does "I'm not upset, just hurt" even mean????

It sounds to me like you're pissed because your MIL isn't pampering you and you want to be pampered.

To answer your questions...

A Pregnancy Vent has a wink because, perhaps, I'm an overly emotional pregnant woman.

I'm not upset (mad), I'm hurt (saddened).

I don't want to be pampered, I would have accepted the other help if that was the case, right?

 

[Jennasis]

you are never going to turn the corner if you continue to look for things to be pissy about.

+1

 

[ols386]

No, this is true. I could ask, but I won't until I absolutely need help. I hate to burden others when I can manage, but it still feels good to know people care enough to ask if you need help when they know times are tough. That's my only point. I wouldn't hesitate to ask her if I could do anything to help if she was sick.

Hope you feel better soon. Sounds like you are having a rough time with the morning sickness that seems to be morning, noon, and night sickness. That's difficult.

 

[minkydog]

I'm not "upset", just hurt. Heck, if she offered to bring a few meals over, I would probably accept, just so my DH had something to eat. I just thought we were turning a corner, and it just hurts my feelings that she can't find it in her to just ASK. I don't think that's crazy of me. And I know she knows I wouldn't be upset.

I remember many a time my parents saying to me, "Even if you know someone will probably say no, it's always nice to ask and show them you care, just in case they DO want help." Maybe that was just how I was brought up, I don't know.

Just needed to vent, but feel free to continue with me, I'm used to it by now!

Well, I'll tell you what a wise woman once told me: You need to ask for what you want or you're not going to get it. Yes, it would be nice if you MIL would magically read your mind and come through with a meal or something but that's probably not going to happen. Being hurt because someone doesn't do something for you ANd you won't ask her for help is rather passive-aggressive.

I really do sympathize with you. I was extremely ill during two of my pregnancies. Like you, I couldn't eat, cook,or grocery shop and I lost 10-15-lbs each time. It was all i could do to drag myself to work. When I wasn't working I was sleeping, just to get some relief from the nausea. I had to let a lot of things go, like cleaning toilets, vaccuming, cleaning up dog poo(sure-fire puke producer!) and pretty much anything involving odors. But the nausea passed eventually and the house got cleaned. Nobody died and DH learned a lot about caring for a pregnant woman.

May the morning sickness pass quickly and your pregnancy progress normally.

 

[SaraJayne]

Talking about being in a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.

If you want her to do something, then tell her. Ask her to bring over the favorite meal she made for your husband or his favorite cookies and beer.

You were complaining like 2 months ago about her trying to come over and help when he was sick. You took offense to her offer then.

How are you going to have a real relationship with your MIL if you find fault with her for anything she does or doesn't do?

I hope you feel better.

 

[AKL_Megs]

I really do sympathize with you. I was extremely ill during two of my pregnancies. Like you, I couldn't eat, cook,or grocery shop and I lost 10-15-lbs each time. It was all i could do to drag myself to work. When I wasn't working I was sleeping, just to get some relief from the nausea. I had to let a lot of things go, like cleaning toilets, vaccuming, cleaning up dog poo(sure-fire puke producer!) and pretty much anything involving odors. But the nausea passed eventually and the house got cleaned. Nobody died and DH learned a lot about caring for a pregnant woman.

May the morning sickness pass quickly and your pregnancy progress normally.

Thanks! It's awful, isn't it!

 

[npmommie]

OP are you still working? you are a flight attendant right? I remember when you were talking about quitting. but I may have missed if you did or not.

 

[npmommie]

I also meant to add, I can totally sympathize with the morning sickness. When I was preg with my first I was in grad school, I can remember having to run out of a lecture many times

 

[AKL_Megs]

OP are you still working? you are a flight attendant right? I remember when you were talking about quitting. but I may have missed if you did or not.

I did, but I got another job, an easier desk-type job.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I don't know anyone's mil that helped out when they were having morning (or in many cases all day sickness). That's what your dh is for, not his mom. You don't even have another toddler running around that needs immediate attention, anything else can wait till he gets home.

 

[AKL_Megs]

I don't know anyone's mil that helped out when they were having morning (or in many cases all day sickness). That's what your dh is for, not his mom. You don't even have another toddler running around that needs immediate attention, anything else can wait till he gets home.

You can tell the people who would and wouldn't offer help to a sick friend!

 

[npmommie]

You can tell the people who would and wouldn't offer help to a sick friend!

you aren't sick, you are pregnant

it does get better, wait til the second trimester, you will feel great!!!!

 

[SaraJayne]

You can tell the people who would and wouldn't offer help to a sick friend!

Pregnancy isn't an illness.

I have and would continue to offer help to a sick friend. But not to someone that thought they were entitled to my help or expected it.