Is it Tacky for Someone to Have a Bridal Shower with No Wedding?

[disneyfav4ever]

I know a couple who are planning on getting married but aren't having a traditional wedding, just a large party to celebrate. A shower is still being planned. I'm triying to decide if I should decline the shower invite as it looks a little gift grabby to me. I'm wondering how this comes across to others?

 

[Ben E N]

Is the large party similar to a reception? I personally don't go to weddings because the ceremony is thrilling. The party is where the fun is at.
Also, is the shower at a nice location? If so, the bride and family are paying for that, so it isn't a straight money grab.

If both the shower and the party are at someone's house, and only fine China and crystals are on the registry, then it may feel a bit like a money grab.

 

[Christine]

So the couple is getting married, correct? They are having some sort of celebration to mark the marriage, yes?

I'm not seeing the problem with a bridal shower. There will be a bride? There will be a marriage? I guess I'm not seeing the problem. Is the lack of witnessing the actual marriage the issue?

 

[Floridaman999]

I don't see a problem here. People celebrate however they wish. I don't see why this needs to be an issue.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

A bridal shower is for a bride ( or couple) who is getting married. It’s to celebrate their happy news and give a gift to help them start a life together.

Is the bride ( or couple) getting married? Yes.

Then they deserve a shower.

 

[Hikergirl]

Are you invited to the celebration?

 

[ols386]

If indeed the couple are getting married (and it sounds like they are), then a shower is appropriate.

 

[shoney]

Here it is quite common to skip the church and only go to the reception. The closest family and friends do go.

So if they are getting married privately and just having a reception I wouldn’t think of it any differently. Actually I would prefer it!

So I would go to the shower and reception

 

[Kellykins1218]

Nothing wrong with it at all. They're still getting married.

 

[anniemae]

I think it's fine. These days weddings are very unique. Destination weddings, house weddings, big church weddings etc. I think what they are doing is fine. Probably having a quiet ceremony or destination ceremony, then a big party. I had a coworker who got married in Vegas. They had a big party a month later to celebrate. She did have a shower too.

 

[ronandannette]

I know a couple who are planning on getting married but aren't having a traditional wedding, just a large party to celebrate. A shower is still being planned. I'm triying to decide if I should decline the shower invite as it looks a little gift grabby to me. I'm wondering how this comes across to others?

Are they throwing their own shower? If not, how is it possibly "gift-grabby"? Don't go if you don't want to, but the style of wedding shouldn't be the determining factor. There are endless ways people mark this milestone nowadays.

 

[Allison]

There is no issue here.

 

[disneychrista]

So only someone have a big elaborate wedding ceremony should have a shower?

People are too focused on the big elaborate ceremony vs the actual marriage, which really is what matters.

 

[NYCgrrl]

No problem for me.

 

[CarolAnn856]

I know a couple who are planning on getting married but aren't having a traditional wedding, just a large party to celebrate. A shower is still being planned. I'm triying to decide if I should decline the shower invite as it looks a little gift grabby to me. I'm wondering how this comes across to others?

Why do you have a problem with this?? They are getting married. She is a bride. Therefore, what on earth is wrong with her having a bridal shower? If you're going to be that judgmental about it all, maybe declining the invitation is, in fact, the right way to handle it.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

I know a couple who are planning on getting married but aren't having a traditional wedding, just a large party to celebrate. A shower is still being planned. I'm triying to decide if I should decline the shower invite as it looks a little gift grabby to me. I'm wondering how this comes across to others?

Not tacky. They are in fact getting married. I've been to pre wedding showers and post wedding parties that didn't involve the wedding itself.

 

[Allison]

They aren't having a shower without a wedding. It is just not a wedding they are inviting everyone to attend. There is some kind of ceremony occurring even if it is standing before a judge at a courthouse.

Why does that have anything to do with whether a shower should be held?

 

[Skywalker]

Well, it strikes me as a bit off when people want to do things in non-traditional ways, yet keep the traditional customs (coincidentally, the ones that get them gifts lol). In this case I'm not exactly sure of the whole picture, but if it rubs you the wrong way, don't go!

 

[anniemae]

Well, it strikes me as a bit off when people want to do things in non-traditional ways, yet keep the traditional customs (coincidentally, the ones that get them gifts lol). In this case I'm not exactly sure of the whole picture, but if it rubs you the wrong way, don't go!

I would like more details too. If they are having a destination wedding and then doing the big party once they return, then they are sparing the guests the hassle of inviting everyone to the destination. Imagine the outcry if they invited everyone to Hawaii for the ceremony and had a shower too. LOL.

Or are they just having a small family ceremony then a party. Are they not having a religious ceremony and just going to the courthouse for a quick wedding? If so, you really wouldn't invite 200 people to the courthouse. Is the party on the same day as the ceremony? I wish OP would come back with more details.

 

[tasha99]

I don't find it tacky, but it sounds like you don't like them much, so maybe you shouldn't go.