Is it rude to request Family party to start...(Update)

[BelleWDW]

2 hours earlier???

Our family get-together is set for 6pm THIS Sunday-lots of food that is our meal. And we have wine and beer.

TODAY-On of my siblings wants it moved to 4pm!!! I guess they recieved another party invite that evening?

No way I'd be hungry at 4pm

 

[wdwfan16]

I would expect a to arrive earlier than 6 pm for a dinner party. We don't want to walk in and then plop down at the table. We want to mingle, get caught up and relax before the meal.

For Christmas we will eat at 2 pm but people will start to arrive about noon.

 

[luvmy3]

Yes, I think its rude to ask all of the family to rearrange their schedule so that you can go to another party that poppped up for that night.

 

[TriMom]

Is it just family? In that case not rude, just people who love each other trying to make all of the Christmas things fit together. You are just as welcome to say to sib - nope 4 doesn't work for me. I truly believe there needs to be less formality when we get together with family to say how much we love them.

Another option would be to go ahead and get together at 4, do the visiting, presents, and such -and then still eat at 6.

 

[Christine]

2 hours earlier???

Our family get-together is set for 6pm THIS Sunday-lots of food that is our meal. And we have wine and beer.

TODAY-On of my siblings wants it moved to 4pm!!! I guess they recieved another party invite that evening?

No way I'd be hungry at 4pm

I *might* consider moving it if it was a family member I really liked and they had a real good reason for needing it moved up earlier. I don't think that 4 p.m. is overly early for a Sunday party considering some people do have to work the next day and, at least here, school is still open on Monday (my son has a final exam). I probably wouldn't be too keen on a party that even starts at 6p.m. on a Sunday night that will probably go on at least until 10:00 p.m. or later, but I don't know the situation there.

Are you really sure they got a later invite to another party or is that speculation?

 

[ICF]

I think 3 days before hand it is rude........also, eating at 4 is rather earlier too, IMO.

 

[Christine]

I think 3 days before hand it is rude........also, eating at 4 is rather earlier too, IMO.

I personally don't think 4 p.m. is late for a Sunday. Saturday, yes. Sundays to me always seem to be traditional early dinner type days.

 

[golfgal]

I think it is rude to start a Sunday party at 6:00 when people have to get up the next day for work, etc.

Why not start at 4:00 and eat at 6:00 then people will be free to leave if they chose at a reasonable hour??

 

[declansdad]

If this has been planned and they knew it is rude, family or not. If the reason is so that they can attend another party, tell them to go to the other party.

 

[Buckalew11]

Is it just family? In that case not rude, just people who love each other trying to make all of the Christmas things fit together. You are just as welcome to say to sib - nope 4 doesn't work for me. I truly believe there needs to be less formality when we get together with family to say how much we love them.

Another option would be to go ahead and get together at 4, do the visiting, presents, and such -and then still eat at 6.

Also, you CAN be hungry at 4:00pm this far in advance. It might not be the time you like to eat dinner but you CAN make sure you are hungry if your party starts at 4. Just rearrange the other times you are eating beforehand and *walla*, you'll be hungry.
Whatever you do, don't give that excuse for not wanting to help your family member out--it is sorta of a lame excuse.

 

[amid chaos]

My response.
"Sure I'd love to have you come at 4, you can help me get the food ready for 6:00 when we eat."

 

[Mickey's Minion]

2 hours earlier???

Our family get-together is set for 6pm THIS Sunday-lots of food that is our meal. And we have wine and beer.

TODAY-On of my siblings wants it moved to 4pm!!! I guess they recieved another party invite that evening?

No way I'd be hungry at 4pm

Why would you have to eat right at 4? As others have mentioned, you don't usually get to a dinner party and go right to the dining room. There is usually conversation and mingling before dinner time.

IF I were invited to a dinner party at 6 and we ate at 6, I would be making an early exit - say a few polite minutes after dinner was finished due to it being work the next day. I probably wouldn't stay for after dinner activities.

I think 4 is a much more reasonable start for a Sunday party anyway, so you might want to consider it.

4-5 - mingle, presents, important family stuff
5-6 - dinner
6-??- those that need to leave can because the family stuff has been done, those the want to stay and mingle some more can too.

 

[MariDisney]

It is rude? Depends on the tone of the request. If it's, "We must move our party to 4:00, no discussion" then it's rude. If it's , "Does anyone think it would be a problem to move our party earlier? We're going to try and squeeze two things into one night" then it's not rude.

Now, the rest of the family can adust or not, I suppose. In our family we try and work together to fit everything in. Is it possible to do appetizers around 4:30 so they can be there for that and then they can leave when needed and the rest of the family?

I, personally, find it easier not to think too much or get too hung up on these things. Most often we have a holiday and one person or maybe even more can't be there.

ETA: I also think for us it's not about being hungry at a certain time, but being together. I wouldn't get too concerned about the timing of the acual meal. Dinner anytime between 4 and 7 seems reasonable to me. Plus, if you know it's earlier you can just eat an earlier or lighter lunch.

 

[anniemae]

I don't know....this time of year is kind of crazy with get-togethers, parties, cookie exchanges etc. I don't think it's rude to try to squeeze everything in.

I actually would prefer an earlier party as others have said, due to work the next day, and the kids have school the next day too. I actually think 6:00 is too late to start a Sunday party. By the time you mingle and eat it will be a late night.

It may be one of those things where she thinks others may feel the same way she does and just wants to throw the idea out there to see if others agree with her.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well, in my family we discuss times with everyone and find a time that is doable for all of us or what will work out the best. We all communicate with each other and that is truly the blessing in my family.

We ate at 3pm for Thanksgiving this past yr. Why?

My dh was invited to his dd's house to celebrate with her family at 6pm.

We communicated with everyone in the family and we respect each other's committments.

For Christmas, my sister is hosting and she truly has a lot on her plate plus a MIL dying of cancer right now. We let her decide the time. We are doing a noon-7pm.

She asked me what time she should host and I asked her what time do you want everyone out of your house. We worked it backwards.

 

[jen0610]

I think it is rude to start a Sunday party at 6:00 when people have to get up the next day for work, etc.

Why not start at 4:00 and eat at 6:00 then people will be free to leave if they chose at a reasonable hour??

This is our family. Christmas Eve, you are free to get to my house anytime after 3, but if you are bringing food for dinner that needs to be heated or kept warm, you need to be there 4-4:15, so that we can have everything set out and ready to eat by 5.

 

[mjkacmom]

Well, around here at least, I can't imagine being invited to Sunday dinner at 6. We were just invited to a dinner last Sunday, which began at 2. Dinner was actually offered up at 4 (buffet style - your typical Sunday pasta/gravy meal). If the invite was for 6, I would figure we wouldn't eat dinner until at least 7, and my little ones go to bed at 8, the older kids 9.

 

[Judy in Texas]

For me, 6:00 PM would be too late for a get together to start on a Sunday night when I have to get up at 5:30 the next morning. I agree with previous posters that people need to be arriving early in the day (4:00-ish) with the meal to start no later than 6:00. Are you exchanging gifts, too? If I am within a 30 minute's drive of where the gathering is being held, I would want to be on the road by 8:00 at the absolute latest.

 

[declansdad]

It doesn't matter when other people think a Sunday dinner should start, the OP's family had decided on 6 pm. At this point, it was inconsiderate for one sibling to ask for it to be changed to accommodate their schedule. If they had issues with a 6 pm start because of children or work the next day, they should have stated that before now.

 

[mumom95]

Holidays with family are usually one of two things:

1. the family gets together because they have to, because they are family and that's what families do during the holidays.

or

2. the family gets together because they want to, they enjoy spending time together and they want to share the holiday spirit with the people they love the most.

If you are family 1 then you are going to think it's rude

If you are family 2 then you won't think it's rude and will try to work out what's best for everyone.