Is it rude to ask people to remove their.....

[Fishbone†]

And if sanitation or dirt is the real issue, why don't you just wear galoshes over your shoes when you're outdoors?

I mean no disrepect... honestly, but if fashion is what this comes down to (and by your thread I assume it does), galoshes are not a fashion statement I'm interested in making.

 

[tkyes]

Kathy -

When I wear nylons to someone's house or someone wears nylons to mine (which is rare because I usually have get togethers with friends or family and it's usually casual) I just wear my nylons, I don't put socks over them.

I do have a couple pair of slacks that hit the floor when I don't have shoes on, I've never ruined them on any flooring. I would think the floor would have to be very rough to ruin pants? I don't know though.

I don't need to wear galoshes because I take my shoes off when I come in the house, so it's not an issue. Galoshes wouldn't be much of a fashion statement either though would they? lol!

For me the practicality is the mess. We just have too much snow, mud, dirt, etc. here that gets brought in the house.

This thread has gotten much more heated than I thought it would. Ya just never know on the DIS what's going to get people all worked up.

I do hope everyone who's upset with me has understood, as stated before, I would never ask anyone to remove their shoes before coming in my house. It's just something we automatically do here.

 

[KathyTX]

I'm not upset with you- just trying to comprehend the regional differences.

Here, it would be rather strange and rude for a casual acquaintance to kick off their shoes just inside my door. There, it would be rude NOT to...

Walk around in my stockings!!! You'd ruin a $10 pair of pantyhose every time you did this!

And cowboy boots! Well, maybe that's not a big issue up there, but they're pretty common footwear here. And getting them on and off can be quite a production!

I can see MAYBE running around in socks if you're really, really casual, like dressed in jeans and tshirts. Or if you're at a pool party... No, even then, I'd expect to see you wearing flip flops or sandals when not in the water...

I'm trying to imagine a little dinner party at the house, with everyone dressed nice but their stocking feet under the table.

It's not like we wear our hunting boots inside, caked with mud after tromping through the fields. But I never thought about our everyday shoes, the ones we drive in, walk through the malls and restaurants in, and wear to work, as too filthy to wear indoors...

I DEFINITELY can never move to the snowy north!

 

[disykat]

I agree that this thread is fascinating and don't think anyone is upset. I think it's nice to be able to get honest feedback in an anonymous forum.

tkyes, you asked why it would bother me if you took your shoes off in my home. I guess if you get right down to it - it would be too "intimate" for me. My family or long term guests take their shoes off if they want (they keep them in their rooms or some other convenient place, not by the door). They also help themselves to the fridge, but I would be a bit put off if a short term guest walked in and did it immediately upon entry to my home. It seems a bit too "at home" for me. If we were watching tv and getting comfy on the couch, then it would be fine with me if you took them off. I do not take off my shoes until I am getting really comfortable (like watching tv, taking a nap etc.) so it's a surprise when people who come into my home briefly do so.

My parents would not have even answered the doorbell without shoes on. Yes, they would almost have considered that equivalent to opening it in your bra.

 

[tkyes]

I honestly have never ruined a pair of nylons at anyone's house. Now putting them on, that's another story! lol!!

You wear your shoes around your house all the time right? That would be why it's hard to imagine for you. To us, that's how we normally are so when we have friends over no one is uncomfortable without their shoes because that's how they normally are at home as well.

Exact same reason why it seems foreign to me to leave them on. My shoes come off as soon as I walk in my front door and they stay there until I leave the house again. It doesn't feel as relaxed and comfortable if I have my shoes on at someone's house.

The people I have over at my house are close friends and family. I don't care if they have a hole in their sock or what their outfit looks like without their cute new boots. I care that they are there spending time with us and we get to spend time with them as well.

LOL! You are right, you can't move to the snowy north. You would be cleaning up the dirty, muddy snow that everyone trecks in your house all day long.

oh, I also have a bench in my entry way where people can sit down to take shoes off and on. Plenty of winter boots, but not too many cowboy boots up here.

Have a great day!

Tamie

 

[C.Ann]

Just to add another interesting spin to this conversation....

My DH's sister and her hubby live in a semi-country neighborhood and have this big black dog.. Now the dog goes outside and runs at free will - through the mud, into the creek, across the lawn, etc.. When they let the dog back inside, he's allowed to run freely through the house..

However, when "guests" come to visit, they are asked to remove their shoes at the door...........

Needless to say, we don't visit there - because I think the entire practice is rude - but even MORE rude is when they will allow a dog to run through the house no matter what condition his "paws" are in, yet they will ask their guests (who have wiped their feet on the mats both outside and inside) to remove their shoes...

 

[KathyTX]

Originally posted by tkyes
The people I have over at my house are close friends and family. I don't care if they have a hole in their sock or what their outfit looks like without their cute new boots. I care that they are there spending time with us and we get to spend time with them as well.

LOL! Be very careful- someone could derail this toward the dreaded slippery slope of the formal wear on cruises arguments! The "why should anyone care if I'm dressed casual, I'm not so shallow as to notice your clothing" reverse snobbery that THAT topic invariably deteriorates to. I know that's not where you were headed.

So, what have we learned? That there are tremendous regional differences in how this is perceived. That in some areas you'll be considered rude to wear shoes indoors, in others it's rude to kick them off.

That it probably IS rude to ask your guests to take their shoes off, but that the guests are rude to not NOTICE that they should take them off if you're in that "take them off" region.

That I cannot walk around in pantyhose without ripping a hole in them, but that Tamie can achieve this. I'm sort of a klutz, so that probably shoudn't surprise me.

And I think disykat put her finger on why it might be uncomfortable: it is very "intimate." For family and very close friends in extremely casual surroundings, I'm fine with bare or stocking feet. These are the same people I'd feel comfortable wearing my pajamas around while reading the Sunday morning paper. But for "company" or very casual acquaintances, it's just too darned intimate for me. And it has nothing to do with cleanliness here- I still believe that floors are meant to be walked on, and anyone who has white carpet is just asking for constant maintenance.

 

[Planogirl]

I'm curious about some things.

If you have a dinner party or some other dressy function, do guests remove their shoes upon arrival?

Also, what about when it's hot outside and people wear sandals or keds without socks. Do they remove their shoes and walk around your homes in their bare feet?

 

[IloveDMB]

Originally posted by Fishbone†
First of all, do you know what kind of things you step on outside..... even if you don't live in the tundra like Tamie and I? People spit on the ground.... animals relieve themselves on the ground..... other things happen on the ground. Ewwww!!! It's not just mud and wet........ although that should seal the deal. The germs on my shoes should be left in the entryway not tracked throughout their house

I'm sorry and I mean no disrespect, but are you planning on eating off your carpet or flooring? Then I think germs being tracked throughout the house is pretty trivial. I understand that infants and children crawl and play on the floor, but people let their animals walk across that floor, leaving who knows what behind.

Besides, most germs wouldn't live that far and don't jump up to people. And would you avoid the entryway of your house for fear of germs being there? When people leave a whole pile of shoes, then you are pretty much dealing with a big old pile of germs, if I'm following your thinking.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Interesting thread. Usually when I go to the homes of close friends and family I take off my shoes. If it is a more formal, dressy occassion I will leave them on.

We never wear shoes in our house, and we usually only have over closer friends and family and they always know to take off their shoes because DH is bordering on having OCD about the cleanliness of our house. lol

So now that adds a little wrinkle. OCD is a real disease. What if the host has a OCD issue with shoes in his or her house?

 

[aprilgail2]

Originally posted by tkyes



Exact same reason why it seems foreign to me to leave them on. My shoes come off as soon as I walk in my front door and they stay there until I leave the house again. It doesn't feel as relaxed and comfortable if I have my shoes on at someone's house.

I usually keep mine on in my own home for most of the time depending on my mood, once in awhile I take them off in the bedroom while I am on the computer but I would never leave them by the front door...if compamy did happen to stop over I would be terribly embarrassed to have a bunch of shoes laying around in the living room by the front door....shoes get put in the bedroom when you take them off, normally shoes stay on until you get changed for bed in your bedroom and you leave them there until you wear them again. Taking ones shoes off in someone elses house is something that only people who live in the house or very very close friends would do, never just regular company that would be considered to be very forward!

 

[Manatee]

Since i was a child and my mom told me to take my shoes off when visiting other people's homes i have taken them off, i never wear shoes indoors, shoes are to protect your feet when venturing outside not for walking around on cushioned carpets. I would not ask people to take them off when they visit, i shouldn't have to.

 

[WDWAurora]

Just to play devil's advocate a little bit here....if shoes are meant for "outdoor clothing" then do you take them off when you get to work? What about me, in a college classroom? Should all of the students in my school leave our shoes downstairs in a pile at the door? Now THAT would be stinky! I know that you don't mean in these situations, but like I said, just trying to play devil's advocate...

How do you plan what shoes to wear with an outfit? I need a mirror to do that, especially to check and make sure I'm not walking on longer pants, etc...And some shoes just don't look right with certain pants and skirts...but you wouldn't know that if you weren't in your bedroom looking in the mirror....Ok, sorry. I'm not attacking anyone, just giving some ideas.

 

[disykat]

Originally posted by Manatee
Since i was a child and my mom told me to take my shoes off when visiting other people's homes i have taken them off, i never wear shoes indoors, shoes are to protect your feet when venturing outside not for walking around on cushioned carpets. I would not ask people to take them off when they visit, i shouldn't have to.

Who are you insulting, me or my mom? LOL My mom would have died if I'd gone in to someones home and promptly taken my shoes off unless I was asked to or they were muddy. It would not be considered polite. - That's the whole point here. People have very differing ideas about what is rude.

WDWAurora, you made me laugh. I'm picturing someone who would "never wear shoes indoors" trying to find her shoes in the pile at the entrance to the indoor shopping mall. (Obviously I know she meant in her house, I'm just poking fun!)

 

[Michelina]

I guess nobody's grown up in a Japanese or Korean household. My mother would die before people walked around her house with their shoes on. EVERYBODY takes off their shoes, even door to door salespeople and the life insurance guy.
I read a story about a foreign exchange student who went to Japan and washed her sneakers in her host family's washing machine, the mom had to buy a new washing machine because it was dirtied by the shoes!

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

We would never embarrass guests in our home by asking them to take off their shoes. Yes, I find this to be extremely rude.

Lori

 

[DisneyJules]

Originally posted by Manatee
Since i was a child and my mom told me to take my shoes off when visiting other people's homes i have taken them off, i never wear shoes indoors, shoes are to protect your feet when venturing outside not for walking around on cushioned carpets. I would not ask people to take them off when they visit, i shouldn't have to.

I totally agree! I was raised the same way.

 

[Mskanga]

They invented mops, vacuums cleaners and steamers for something, I use those. My dog messes up the floors more than people can and I clean it everyday.
Not to mention that some people can't take their shoes off, why? because they wear orthotics. Some people need their shoes on for support. Truthfully when I go to someone's house I don't always feel comfortable having to take my sneakers off besides that I suffer from plantar fascitis.
Is it rude to ask people to take their shoes off? YES, you don't know if everyone can do that.

 

[dcgrumpy]

I'm curious to know if any of the people that think it's dirty to wear shoes inside have pets?

 

[GEM]

Question for the shoe taker-offers -

What about formal occasions at somebody's house? Last week we had a reception at our home to celebrate the opening of a local art exhibit. Everyone was dressed very formally - suits, jackets, and ties for the men and nice dresses for the ladies. Would you really take your shoes off in that sort of situation? I'm just having a hard time seeing all these fancy dressed up people wondering around my home drinking wine and eating cheese all in their socks and pantyhose. Next week we are attending a small wedding that is being held in my aunt's home. Should all the wedding guests really ditch their high heels and dress shoes in a pile at the door?

Also, if wearing no shoes is so much more sanitary, how come health codes require that shoes be worn in restaurants?

Not being mean, just honestly curious.