Is it okay to put family first? (Response to royal family stuff)

[mom2rtk]

Here's how it should have gone:

Oprah:"So the word is that you made Kate cry over a dress fitting. What is up with that??"

Meghan: "Oh gosh - this was such a silly dust up over a minor issue. It's really embarrassing that that you feel this needs to be addressed over three years later. Kate and I had different opinions on something that blown out of proportion. I'll say that I wish I had handled it differently. You know how things get - pre-wedding stress and Kate had recently given birth to my adorable nephew only a couple of weeks earlier. Everyone was a bit on edge. Whatever happened - I apologize if I hurt her feelings in any way and she did send me flowers afterwards so it's really a non issue with no relevance on anything today."

Instead we get - Oh! It was Kate that made ME cry NOT the other way around. She was the only one in the wrong and she knew it. She sent me flowers to apologize because she knew it was all her fault. I behaved perfectly and am the completely innocent party.

YES! That whole exchange tells me a lot more about Meghan than it does about Kate.

 

[VandVsmama]

Life is a give and take. Really a family feud over tights? I'm not British (ancestry says I'm about 3/4 Scot Irish) and I know how QEii feels about hose.

Exactly. The whole thing is dumb. Some brides hyper-focus on little things that don't really matter in the grand scheme of things...like whether or not a kid is going to wear tights. I'll give Meghan a bit of an 'out' on this one since maybe she didn't know it was expected protocol for young bridesmaids and flower girls to wear tights in a royal wedding. However, to still be moaning and groaning about it 3 years later? Time to move on, Meghan. To still be complaining about it shows how petty she's being. Time to grow up, lady. You're a grown woman who's been adulting now for over 20 years. It's time to stop holding a grudge over something dumb like tights for little girls when it's a wedding in front of the whole country.

But, then again, she did just spend an awful lot of time complaining to billionaire Oprah about how hard it's been for her and her husband to be prince & princess/duke & duchess. We're all supposed to feel sorry for them.

The mental health issue? That's a legitimate concern. But tights? No.

 

[Wendy31]

Yes, please make Meghan the victim AGAIN. Everything is her fault. I just want her to cut the crap and own her actions. Stop making every problem in her life someone else's fault. Regarding the whole issue with whatever happened between her and Kate about the stupid flower girl dresses. She placed it all at Kate's feet - she was pure innocence in a bottle. It was more than likely BOTH of them having an issue. Why couldn't she say they were both at fault and could have handled it better which is the most likely scenario?

Especially since the whole kerfuffle was apparently about whether or not the younger bridesmaids would wear tights. Almost 3 years after the wedding, who gives a flying flip what the bridesmaids wore? Tights or no tights. Big stinking deal. But sure, let's make a big stink about it with Oprah.

Plus, it looks to me like Meghan won that round.

Except a mama knows a little girl may get blisters without socks or tights. Not to mention it's a preference of the Queen. Some want to live or die on every hill.

It wasn't grandma's wedding.

But grandma is THE Queen. A very unique situation for sure! It always amazes me how some have a difficult time respecting protocol and/or their elders aka authority figures. Megs wanted all the trappings but none of the rules? And still... little girls may get blisters without socks or tights.

From the aspects of the wedding that *have* been leaked - Meghan not happy w/ the first tiara offered to her, Harry apparently directing ”What Meghan wants Meghan gets,” Meghan wanting to pump scent into the church, the wedding cost as compared to the cost of William & Kate’s wedding - she seemed to have some bridezilla tendencies.

And I can see Kate, as a more experienced mother, trying to impress upon Meghan the need for the little girls to wear tights - not just due to the weather or because of blisters, but also because she was probably more familiar w/ the Queen’s preferences & was just maybe trying to offer some “been there - done that” kind of advice. And, let’s not forget that Kate herself, on the day of wedding, had just given birth 3 weeks earlier, & probably, at the time of the tights argument, was in the latter stages of her pregnancy.

But Meghan wanted things done her way, &, maybe to an extent, she was feeling a bit insecure - especially around Kate, so she was taking even the smallest of suggestions (“Your bridesmaids should wear tights, & I would feel more comfortable if Charlotte were wearing tights. Plus, remember, Meghan, the Queen would prefer they were tights...”) as personal criticism. Therefore, she doubled down & insisted that the little girls NOT wear tights.

I mean, we’ve all known someone like that before.

And, no, it wasn’t the Queen’s wedding, but it was a ROYAL wedding w/ certain protocols & preferences.

But Harry & Meghan seemed to go into things from the beginning w/ chips on their shoulders & an insistence that they were going to do things “their” way.

Tights on a little girls are a very minor thing, & it would have been a simple thing for Meghan to bend on, understanding & realizing that Kate was coming at it w/ more experience both as a mother & as a member of the royal family.

There are certain royal events at which the shoulders of the royal women in attendance are supposed to be covered, & Meghan would attend these events in outfits where the shoulders were as far away from the “line” as possible w/o strictly going over the line to completely bare shoulders.

And people w/ personalities like that just irritate me - a disregard for the ”rules” for no other reason as ”I’m just not a rule follower & I’m going to do things my way.”

I don’t understand Meghan’s disrespect & disregard for the royal protocol & especially for the Queen, her grandmother-in-law.

If you don’t want to follow the rules, then don’t marry a prince. Chelsy Davy, who Harry *should* have married, realized the royal life wasn’t for her, & she gracefully bowed out.

But, through it all, the Queen has taken the high road & maintained her dignity & class.

 

[Wendy31]

Here's how it should have gone:

Oprah:"So the word is that you made Kate cry over a dress fitting. What is up with that??"

Meghan: "Oh gosh - this was such a silly dust up over a minor issue. It's really embarrassing that that you feel this needs to be addressed over three years later. Kate and I had different opinions on something that blown out of proportion. I'll say that I wish I had handled it differently. You know how things get - pre-wedding stress and Kate had recently given birth to my adorable nephew only a couple of weeks earlier. Everyone was a bit on edge. Whatever happened - I apologize if I hurt her feelings in any way and she did send me flowers afterwards so it's really a non issue with no relevance on anything today."

Instead we get - Oh! It was Kate that made ME cry NOT the other way around. She was the only one in the wrong and she knew it. She sent me flowers to apologize because she knew it was all her fault. I behaved perfectly and am the completely innocent party.

Plus, her smarmy little “I’m sure Kate would want the record set straight” as the proverbial cherry on her sundae.

 

[Adelle Dazeem]

The pantyhose thing is a great example of why the royal family is failing to appeal to younger generations. It’s such a petty thing to have a rule about, it’s unnecessarily stuffy, and frankly out of touch with anyone under the age of... well, I don’t want to insult anyone who still wears pantyhose. Again, I’m not that young myself but the 80s were the last time I remember pantyhose being on my radar. Are they still sold in stores, even?

This wasn't about a grown woman wearing panty hose. Young girls do still wear tights - especially at such a formal affair. As other posters have mentioned - it keeps their young legs warmer and prevents an oopsy if the wind blows their skirts up.

 

[neverlandsky]

Again, I’m not that young myself but the 80s were the last time I remember pantyhose being on my radar. Are they still sold in stores, even?

Tights are extremely hard to find except during Halloween time since it went to jeggings, leggings, fleece leggings, etc. Pantyhose are still sold @ Target, Walmart, Kohls, etc.

 

[Adelle Dazeem]

Plus, her smarmy little “I’m sure Kate would want the record set straight” as the proverbial cherry on her sundae.

Oh yes - I forgot about that jab. It was so completely unnecessary.

 

[BadPinkTink]

the tights issue, its just ONE example of Royal Protocol, how things are done, that you just don't question, you just accept thats the way it is. Again, UK people know and understand Royal Protocol is Royal Protocol, and you do not question it, you just do it. Again another example of culture clash

 

[TLSnell1981]

The pantyhose thing is a great example of why the royal family is failing to appeal to younger generations. It’s such a petty thing to have a rule about, it’s unnecessarily stuffy, and frankly out of touch with anyone under the age of... well, I don’t want to insult anyone who still wears pantyhose. Again, I’m not that young myself but the 80s were the last time I remember pantyhose being on my radar. Are they still sold in stores, even?

But to be fair we are talking about little girls wearing tights. It's still a thing. Not stuffy but practical. No panties showing or blisters on their feet... And yes the Queen is in her nineties. It matters to her and really...Meghan wanted to make that an issue too?

 

[Wendy31]

The pantyhose thing is a great example of why the royal family is failing to appeal to younger generations. It’s such a petty thing to have a rule about, it’s unnecessarily stuffy, and frankly out of touch with anyone under the age of... well, I don’t want to insult anyone who still wears pantyhose. Again, I’m not that young myself but the 80s were the last time I remember pantyhose being on my radar. Are they still sold in stores, even?

Except... most legs do look better in hosiery - the right kind of hosiery.

I attended a family wedding several years ago & let myself get talked into not wearing hose because “hose are so out of style!”

To this day, I regret not wearing hose w/ my dress. My legs weren’t tan, & I was so self-conscious & think my legs &, therefore, overall attire/appearance would have looked so much better had I worn hose.

Now, I’m much more in the camp of “If Kate wears hose, then so can I!”

And, yes, hose are a very minor, trivial thing, but it speaks to something larger.

Protocol, respect, & dressing appropriately for an event should still be important to us.

(And little girls still do wear tights.)

 

[mamamia2005]

I do think there was always the potential for "conflict" between Kate and Meghan.
Kate, William and Harry always seemed quite a happy trio, doing official engagements together etc.
Was Kate a bit jealous of there being another woman on the scene? (And I don't mean because there was anything romantic between Harry and Kate! Just that he probably used to make quite a fuss of Kate being the only woman in the trio)
Did Meghan have the perfect Kate shoved down her throat from the get go?
Kate possibly tried to give Meghan the benefit of her experience of having been involved with the royal family for a number of years - and Meghan being a strong, vocal, independent woman did not take kindly to that.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

This wasn't about a grown woman wearing panty hose. Young girls do still wear tights - especially at such a formal affair. As other posters have mentioned - it keeps their young legs warmer and prevents an oopsy if the wind blows their skirts up.

But to be fair we are talking about little girls wearing tights. It's still a thing. Not stuffy but practical. No panties showing or blisters on their feet... And yes the Queen is in her nineties. It matters to her and really...Meghan wanted to make that an issue too?

Sorry if I wasn’t clear. I’m talking about the rule that women in the royal family have to wear pantyhose because the queen likes it that way. That’s the kind of petty level of control that is going to turn off a lot of younger people.

 

[DisneyJamieCA]

Yes, please make Meghan the victim AGAIN. Everything is her fault. I just want her to cut the crap and own her actions. Stop making every problem in her life someone else's fault. Regarding the whole issue with whatever happened between her and Kate about the stupid flower girl dresses. She placed it all at Kate's feet - she was pure innocence in a bottle. It was more than likely BOTH of them having an issue. Why couldn't she say they were both at fault and could have handled it better which is the most likely scenario?

It would seem your bias is strong. Nowhere in there did I say Meghan was a victim. I said it couldn't be laid exclusively at her feet like so many wanted to. By definition, that would include her.

But since we're discussing it and you seem to think you know how I feel about this, I'll be clear so there are no more misjudgments.

Do I think Meghan is innocent? No. Do I think she told the entire truth during the interview? No. Do I think there was truth in there? Yes. Just like I would say for the BRF. And here is the fun part - while differing in what they each took from a situation, they can be both telling the truth. Misunderstanding, defensiveness, misspoken words can lead to two people walking away from a situation with completely different feelings about what happened, who was at fault and who was hurt. And two people can be hurt by the same situation.

What I do take issue with is people, especially here, thinking they have the right to discredit somebody's trauma. And we don't get to do that. Just because she didn't react the way we think she should have or assume we know what was the best treatment for her mental health doesn't mean it isn't true for her. And for all the people who think she's lying because she didn't handle it the way they thought she should, shame on you. Be thankful you've never been in a place that dark. Because let me tell you, it doesn't matter how many people are in your circle. It doesn't matter how wealthy you are. That feeling of helplessness and feeling alone goes beyond all of that. And asking for help isn't as easy as so many on here want to make it. And guess what - she'll never see all these comments that are being made. But those struggling with mental illness and depression will and you (general you) will have made it that much worse. So kuddos up there on your high horse.

I also take great issue with people feeling they can diagnose her with personality disorders on the internet. I know that kind of stuff gets thrown around a lot and not just on this topic, but it's wrong and dangerous to keep doing.

There have been fun conversations here, even when they've been disagreements. There is a lot of history to be learned. But let's be clear, the only people who know the truth are H&M and those in the inner circle of the BRF. So people who claim to know more than others because they've researched it is ridiculous as that's how anybody with an opinion has gotten their information. There are also some on here who's sole purpose of responding is to continue to vilely dump on H&M and it's gotten old. And their obsession with it actually speaks more about them.

I don't care if people like Meghan. Or Harry. I don't care if they think she is the worst person who walked the face of the Earth. I do care when people dismiss mental health. Or insinuate that it should be kept a dirty little secret.

Edited for misspelling

 

[BadPinkTink]

Sorry if I wasn’t clear. I’m talking about the rule that women in the royal family have to wear pantyhose because the queen likes it that way. That’s the kind of petty level of control that is going to turn off a lot of younger people.

but again, thats Royal Protocol. Being part of the Royal Family means you do whats required, even if you think its dumb, becuase thats just the way things are. Again, UK people know and understand things like this.

 

[mousefan73]

A bit like the Duke of Windsor, when millions were dying under Naziism, griping about the Duchess not being HRH...

Wasnt he a Nazi Sympathizer anyways?

 

[Wendy31]

the tights issue, its just ONE example of Royal Protocol, how things are done, that you just don't question, you just accept thats the way it is. Again, UK people know and understand Royal Protocol is Royal Protocol, and you do not question it, you just do it. Again another example of culture clash

You say it’s a culture clash, and maybe so...

But I’m an American & would have no problem following & accepting the protocol & understand very well that sometimes ”that’s just how things are done.”

Like I wouldn’t have tried to sit in the Royal Box at Wimbledon while wearing slacks. I know there’s a protocol & certain dress code for different events & places.

Not every American is the way you’re thinking we are.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Except... most legs do look better in hosiery - the right kind of hosiery.

I attended a family wedding several years ago & let myself get talked into not wearing hose because “hose are so out of style!”

To this day, I regret not wearing hose w/ my dress. My legs weren’t tan, & I was so self-conscious & think my legs &, therefore, overall attire/appearance would have looked so much better had I worn hose.

Now, I’m much more in the camp of “If Kate wears hose, then so can I!”

And, yes, hose are a very minor, trivial thing, but it speaks to something larger.

Protocol, respect, & dressing appropriately for an event should still be important to us.

(And little girls still do wear tights.)

You must know that’s a matter of your opinion and not fact, right? My personal opinion is that pantyhose almost always look worse than bare legs. Kate Middleton looks ridiculous, IMO, every time she steps out with unnaturally shimmery legs that are a shade or two darker than her arms and face. But, given the power, I wouldn’t make it a rule that no one was allowed to wear pantyhose because, who cares? Let people do what makes them comfortable. That’s where the royal family and their micromanaging rules are going to fall flat for some people, especially younger people who are more likely to adopt a live-and-let-live attitude.

 

[mousefan73]

This wasn't about a grown woman wearing panty hose. Young girls do still wear tights - especially at such a formal affair. As other posters have mentioned - it keeps their young legs warmer and prevents an oopsy if the wind blows their skirts up.

Which actually happened at the wedding to Lady Louise ( Edward's daughter) I felt so bad for her. as she was a teen and utter embarassement. My daughter would have crawled in a hole.

Edit: and unless those shoes were long broken in bare foot or made of the softest sheep skin. the poor girls were bleeding by the end of the day without any tights. or socks in dress shoes.

 

[snappy]

To be clear, this thread has been around for a year plus. Meghan’s issues with suicide thoughts were divulged Sunday night.

 

[TLSnell1981]

Sorry if I wasn’t clear. I’m talking about the rule that women in the royal family have to wear pantyhose because the queen likes it that way. That’s the kind of petty level of control that is going to turn off a lot of younger people.

I know but it's such a small rule to follow in the grand scheme of things. But this "dust up" was specifically about little girls tights OMG really? I didn't just marry my husband but also his family and vice versa. Life isn't perfect but we get along (and I really do love them) It's like with our kids...we pick and choose our battles. So much of this is so absurd. But Meghan not having a family and Harry needing to protect Mum... factored into this mess in a big way. JMO

I paid for a wedding consultant when DD was married and it was the best money I ever spent. We were still speaking on her wedding day!