Is it O.K. for 14 yr. old girls to stay overnight @ a boys house ?

[MomE@Home]

I just found out that two 14 year old girls (one of them is my DS's girlfriend) stayed overnight at my DS's(14) friends house last night while my DS was also spending the night. I am so upset !!!!!!.... I can't believe that these parents (both my DS's friends parents and the parents of the girls) would allow this ! I called the parents of my DS's friend where this happened and left a message for them to call me ASAP but I have not heard from them yet. My DH & myself have had a long talk with our DS about this and he thinks it's O.K. because they were in seperate rooms. My DH & I do not think it's right at all. We have decided that our DS can no longer stay the night at this friends house again. Is this a common thing now ? No way would this have happened when I was a teen! What do you all think ?

 

[lulugirl]

Well, call me old fashioned , but I think coed sleepovers for 14 yr olds are completely inappropiate. I understand why you are upset.

 

[Pooh93]

I understand why you are upset. I'll be curious what the parents say about this when they call you back. I would have thought they'd have called you before the fact to see your thoughts, opinions on this issue.

 

[LisaTx]

I have heard of it happening, but for my family the answer would be no. It is not ok.

 

[Mishetta]

No...absolutely NOT! This is NOT okay in my world! I would feel the same as you. What next? It would be different if they were like 4 or 5 y/o but not teenagers with all those raging hormones! Uh...huhhh.....! No sirreee!

 

[RitaZ.]

I guess I'm old-fashioned, too. There is no way my parents would have ever allowed me to do it and no way that I would allow my kids to a co-ed sleepover.

I don't know if it's a common thing these days, but what matters is that you and your DH find it inappropriate.

Good luck!

 

[CEDmom]

Coed sleepovers are apparently very "in" now. I hope they become very "out" by the time my DD is a teenager. However, I too would be upset under the circumstances you posted. The parents that hosted the sleepover should have gotten the ok from the other parents before allowing it to be coed. Your son also should have let you know his girlfriend was spending the night at his pals house along with him. Even if the kids were split up you had a right to know about all of this ahead of time.

 

[Mom2Em]

I would definitely blow my top over this one!!! IMHO, they are not acceptable and the parents should have consulted you on such a "controversial" decision...

 

[Zurg]

ROFLOL. Zurg is OLD and OLD SCHOOL on this one.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

NO WAY!

We had a similar incident here... my sons were NOT involved, but it was the talk of the school. Several 10-12 year old boys and girls were allowed to sleep IN A TENT in the back yard, all of them together.

Ummmm.... NO!

 

[bsnyder]

What were these parents thinking?

Co-ed slumber parties at that age are a horrible idea, IMO. But parents are free to make their own decisions about what they will allow in their homes.

But to not inform the other parents????

I don't get mad easily, about stuff like this, but I'd be absolutely furious if this happened with my sons.

I'll be interested in hearing what they have to say to you. Please update us.

 

[MomE@Home]

I'll let you all know what happens when the parents call me back.

 

[TIdoublegaER]

I'm curious as to why these parents think this is ok? Are they trying to increase the teenage pregnancy rate? Sorry, sleeping in separate rooms isn't enough. There is no way I would ever give my dds permission to do this. Dh would blow a gasket over something like this.

And if I ever found out about this after the fact, I also would not allow dd to spend the night with that particular friend any longer.

 

[DopeyRN]

No way. IMHO kids are being allowed to grow up WAY too fast.

 

[Beauty]

When I was about 14 we used to have church youth group sleepovers all the time. We would all be locked inside the church both boys and girls. There were always adult chaperons and we would stay up and watch movies etc. I guess we were good kids or either things were different but the worst thing that ever went on was holding hands.

The same group of us all stayed the night at a girl friends grandparent's haunted house. Both boys and girls and her parent chaperoned. The worst thing that went on there was a few kisses.....not heavy kissing but the giggly type.

I agree though in today's world things are soooo much faster then even when I was a teenager. John-Cole is almost 12 and his best friend of course is the same age. Well his best friend has a sister who is 14 so sometimes when John-Cole stays the night at his friend's house, the friends sister will have company. I have never thought anything about it. .... but if they were all teenagers, or maybe I should say when they are all teenagers it may be different. Hormones haven't kicked in for my son yet....or puberty....after your thread I can definatly see a problem in a few years if John-Cole and this little boy are still best friends.

I keep thinking back to when I was a teenager. my best friend had a younger brother (by about 2 years) and I was always at her house but the thought of anything "happening" was absurd...he was Jerry, her little annoying brother although we were 17 and he was 15......

Ugghhh this is something I'd have to do some serious thinking about.

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

Not only NO, but "you know what" NO!!!!

My DDs are 4.5 years and 22 months, and I would not let them attend a co-ed sleepover even now! Much less when they are teenagers.

Like Pooh93, I am curious to see what the response of the parents is. You did NOT overreact!

 

[NHAnn]

Originally posted by CEDmom
The parents that hosted the sleepover should have gotten the ok from the other parents before allowing it to be coed. Your son also should have let you know his girlfriend was spending the night at his pals house along with him.

Absolutely.

I do have to say I would not have even considered it 3 years ago...but I'll put on my flame retardant suit and say that my 17 yr old high school senior DD has attended a couple of small supervised all night "events" at friends' homes in the last year (I wouldn't call them sleep overs...there was not much sleep to be had by the kids or the parents supervising ) but the plans were discussed in great detail between and among all the parents and kids (hosts and guests) so that everyone was on the same page as to exactly what the situation and expectations were.

 

[Pin Wizard]

NO WAY...absolutely NOT! If someone were having a "co-ed" sleep over, I would expect the parents to inform the parents of the kids invited. What gives them the right to do it without the parents knowledge!

 

[Mad4Mickey]

one word



NO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not now NOT ever .

 

[momof2OH]

I guess I am the odd one here! My DD is 14 and I let her stay at her friends house who is a boy and he stays here. He happens to be her best friend. She has also had sleepovers for parties that have included both boys and girls. I have never had a problem with any of them. All parents involved knew what is going on and who was going to be there. They are a very responsible and mature group. I think it all depends on the individual teen and the situation.