Is it mean to go without our kiddos???

[mommy2allyandaveri]

We are planning to go to DL for 5 days this December as well as December 09 with the kids. But we thought it would be fun to go during the summer time just us. No kids. But I already feel guilty and we are only in the talking stages right now...

 

[mo3bys]

We are having the same guilty feelings as you are. We are planning on going the first week in June without our Kids. It will be for our 12th anniversary. We were just there with the kids this last December. We had some issues with the hotel and services so they are letting us use our 8 day park hoppers and upgrade to AP's when we arrive in June. We thought we would take advantage of having the Ap's and go for our anniversary. We have a 7yr old a 6 yr old and a 19month old. We had alot of fun with the kids in December, but we want so time for ourselves too. I feel like I am being selfish and I know I am going to miss the kids like crazy. We have never been away from our 18month old yet either. We are also planning to go back in October with the kids too. We thought they would have a fit about us going in June and to our surprise they were ok with it. They just want us to bring them back some presents from Disneyland Go figure But I am still having guilty feelings about it. Part of me wants to just have them go with us but the other part of me wants to sneak away too

So my advise for you would be to sneak away and have a great time. Guilt free You will be back next December and your children will love that

 

[Cinderlala]

Disneyland is so much fun without kids!!

Before I was married, and had a child, I often went to Disneyland with groups of friends & it was great. Actually, it was more fun without kids.

However, now I would probably never go without my DS because I would feel too guilty. And he is old enough to know what he would be missing. He loves Disneyland, so I wouldn't leave him behind.

 

[lillybug]

The guilt always kicks in on me when dh and I do something fun without our dks, but we adults need to have fun sans kids every once in awhile.

Go have a good time with your dh and then enjoy your next trip with the kids.

 

[Cinderlala]

It really is fun without kids. It would be such a fun trip for you!

 

[mommy2allyandaveri]

Before kids we went annually and had a blast! We haven't really been able to go on any of the big rides in about 5 years. Together that is, I know they do the single rider thing but I would much rather ride space mountain with DH than some man/lady I don't know.

I don't even think we would tell the kids we are going to Disneyland, just that we are going somewhere.

We are thinking of asking my parents if they want to drive the girls down for us half way through the trip, that way we have alone time and family time. Best of both worlds. Not sure if they will do it or not though. We'll see.

Thanks for helping ease the guilt

 

[avalon451]

I feel very strongly about this! You need some adult time, without your kids. You know you love them and you would do anything for them, but you really need to have fun yourself sometimes. It would be different if you never took them to Disneyland.

Think about it logically: when you go to DL with kids, you are constantly thinking about them, what they want, need, are they happy, are they hungry, are they sleeping ok; will they go on this ride, are they too wiped out to walk any more... on and on. Vacation with kids is NOT really vacation for parents!

Another thing: I love my 3 DDs dearly, but they can SMELL guilt, like dogs smell fear! You need to not apologize for your trip. They will be just fine, and so will you. You can bring them back some nice surprises, but don't let them whine that it's no fair... YOU ARE ENTITLED TO SOME ADULT TIME!

Think about it... have some quality time with your sweetie, ride what you want to ride (no baby swaps! No riding Heimlich's Chew Chew Train, unless you want to!), eat what you want to eat, (no "Ewww, that's gross! I don't want that!") stay as late as you can stand it... have a drink in the Cove bar... go back to the hotel and do what you feel (wink wink) cause you're not sharing a room with the kiddos!

This is not a bad thing, people. This is a GOOD thing! Your kids are more strong when they see parents taking time for their own relationship. You are not being selfish. Please go, don't feel guilty, and have a wonderful time!

Ok, I'll get off my soapbox now!

 

[JenDisneylandlver]

We went to DL when we first got married, before having our son. It was fun, but I find it even MORE fun with him. So no, we couldn't do it. It's also one of his favorite places in the whole world. He'd be quite upset if we went without him.

I do agree that adult time is important, we plan on some day going to Vegas or maybe Hawaii just as a couple. But DL is our family vacation destination!

What we did do is have my Mom come along on our trip in October. Which was also fun having Grandma be there. But it also meant that we had a babysitter! We were able to go to DTD, just the two of us. In the parks late at night when DS was too tired. And we did Club 33 just the two of us. That was nice. But no, I'd feel too bad about leaving him with my Mom and just the two of going by ourselves!

 

[quest4dl]

I don't think we should ever feel guilty about having 'adult' time. However, the one exception, for me, would be Disney since I know my kids really enjoy it. There are plenty of things they don't like to do that I can do without them. It seems like a long time and I know it sounds like a cliche but they do grow up fast!

 

[pixiewings71]

Don't feel guilty, just have fun. Spending time with your DH is necessary for a healthy relationship, if DL is your Happy Place then why not go with your Happy Person too? LOL No, it's not mean, it teaches your children that while you love them you love yourself and your DH and that it is important to be people and a couple as well as parents. We went in Jan. just us and our 2 best friends, we had a TON of fun and our BF's ended up getting AP's too! We are actually talking about going this weekend, just the 2 of us. I'm going to talk to the girls tonight and see what they think, if they want to go we will take them, if not it will just be us.
Go, have fun, recharge and spend time with your sweetie and appreciate your family.

 

[cccdisney]

We just came back from a trip without our kids! We try to take a long weekend trip each year to regain our sanity! LOL This year we have AP's so it made sense to take a short trip there. Our oldest kids understand this is our weekend alone! We also take them twice a year so they are certainly not deprived!
It is a different experience going without kids! We ate at restaurants we would not do with our kids and take our time. We even won Dream FastPasses on Monday! Too cool!

 

[stopher1]

I don't believe it's mean at all. Every parent needs some time with and without their kids around. Choosing to enjoy some time at DL without them is nothing to be guilty about, IMO.

 

[Jenn1116]

I can't imagine going to DL w/o DD. That said, I think it is perfectly fine to go w/o the kidlets. I'm hoping to work up the courage, and the money to go on Ladies trip w/o DD.

I remember when I was 6 they dropped me off at Grandmas for a week while my folks went to Cancun. Boy was I furious! Of course, that had more to do with the fact that we didn't do anything or go anywhere, and I had no one else to play with. Looking back, they deserved it and I should not have cried so much, because I'm sure that was hard on them.

 

[Zoemakes5]

Well, I just got back from the Ladies Only trip, so obviously, I'm okay with going without the kids.
President's Day weekend every year we go away just the two of us. It's my b-day and we get a long weekend. This year we went to DLR, got our AP's.
While I missed my kids whenever we go away, I've always thought it was totally worth it.

 

[bumbershoot]

Well, I have many different thoughts about it, b/c I didn't feel the need to be away from DS until last January. And even that wasn't a need to get away FROM him, but a need to be by myself, if that difference makes any sense to anyone other than myself. But before that, my friends told me I needed time without him, and I absolutely DISagreed.

But our situation started off differently anyway, b/c we have no trustworthy grandparents, and only one trustworthy friend to leave DS with, and even that friend requires *complete* and unfailing potty-training, and we're still dealing with the wiping issue, so there's just no one to leave him with.

Which is why I went alone (and frankly I needed time away from DH, too, so a solo trip was what was needed, not a couple trip).

Our other situation is that we're an extended nursing family, and until I went away, DS had never gone a day without. So a trip before then wouldn't have worked at all, b/c he was so naturally dependent on me.


So if your kids don't NEED you, if you have trustworthy people to watch them, and especially since you're planning trips with them, I'd say to go for it.

I told my son where I was going, but then for some reason we all started to refer to it as a party, and he seemed to forget where I was going. Just the other day it came up, and he asked where I was when they had their campout in the living room (DS wouldn't go to sleep in the bed without me), and when I told him it blew him away. It was as thought Disneyland didn't exist without him there. He was confused. And amazed. And possibly a little bit impressed.

Have fun.

 

[KelsiesMommy]

NOPE!!

DH and I took a 7 day trip to WDW in January and left the kids behind! It was AWESOME!! I didn't have to go visit every potty in the place, I ate hot food when it was served to me, I didn't have cranky meltdowns... etc etc

That being said, our kids are regulars at DLR, and eventually when they're older we'll take them to WDW- but it sure was nice to have a Disney vacation without my lovely angels and do what I wanted to do!

 

[nun69]

I'm totally in agreement with you...we are doing something similar in July....we are taking the 2 oldest 15 & 7} to Disneyland on a roadtrip from Wa to CA {stopping in Yeloowstone} and then having my mom meet us in CA {she is flying from VA} and we are leaving the 2 little ones {2 and 1} with a very trustworty daycare provider who is more than willing to keep them. Plus the fact that they have both been with her since they were 6 weeks old, it's like their second home. We could have left them with DH's parents in OR, but since they are not around them on a daily basis, I didn't want it to be uncomfortable for the kids or the in laws.Plus, me being in the Navy, all I have to do is get a medical power of attorney and if anything happens to the kids she can just bring them right on base and get them seen. SO that being said, I'm with you 100%!!!

We decided to do this so that the older kids could really enjoy Disney by just hoping from ride to ride without having to worry about naps, diapers, strollers, etc. {we went last year Mar 07 when DD was about 15 months, and it was just...but it was also hard dealing with a stroller, naps, snacks, etc}

 

[RainyDayPixie]

Go and have a great time! No guilt!

I'd love a trip just DH and I!

 

[IASWAM]

I feel very strongly about this! You need some adult time, without your kids. You know you love them and you would do anything for them, but you really need to have fun yourself sometimes. It would be different if you never took them to Disneyland.

Think about it logically: when you go to DL with kids, you are constantly thinking about them, what they want, need, are they happy, are they hungry, are they sleeping ok; will they go on this ride, are they too wiped out to walk any more... on and on. Vacation with kids is NOT really vacation for parents!

Another thing: I love my 3 DDs dearly, but they can SMELL guilt, like dogs smell fear! You need to not apologize for your trip. They will be just fine, and so will you. You can bring them back some nice surprises, but don't let them whine that it's no fair... YOU ARE ENTITLED TO SOME ADULT TIME!

Think about it... have some quality time with your sweetie, ride what you want to ride (no baby swaps! No riding Heimlich's Chew Chew Train, unless you want to!), eat what you want to eat, (no "Ewww, that's gross! I don't want that!") stay as late as you can stand it... have a drink in the Cove bar... go back to the hotel and do what you feel (wink wink) cause you're not sharing a room with the kiddos!

This is not a bad thing, people. This is a GOOD thing! Your kids are more strong when they see parents taking time for their own relationship. You are not being selfish. Please go, don't feel guilty, and have a wonderful time!

Ok, I'll get off my soapbox now!

Here, Here! I could not have said it better myself. I can't think of a better way to have some time alone than to be at DL with the one you love! Go, enjoy, and have fun!

 

[Judy from Boise]

Half of a parent's job is being "mean". Kids need to understand that they are not entitled to everything they would "enjoy", and learning the lesson as a child not going to DL is a heck of a lot easier than declaring bankruptcy as a young adult!
Of course the other half is total love....so i admit it is a hard line to walk

My DH and i are headed to WDW in two weeks for a anniversary trip sans DD.