Is it me or do people/families not eat dinner anymore?? VENT

[RitaE]

Well - we are obviously and extremely inferior family.

I have an 8 year old who gets out of school starving. Practically weeping with hunger. I've kind of found that I might as well just go ahead and serve him a meal around 4:30 or 5:00. He sometimes has a practice or something after that and his activities HAVE to be at 6:00 or whatever because the coach has a JOB and he can't hold practices at 3pm and it's dark around 7:30 or so ....

I have a High Schooler who is usually off doing High School stuff until 6 or 6:30 when he wanders home, sometimes with a friend. He usually eats then and then they either head off to a game or something or go do homework. If I'm with the younger one at whatever practices he heats and serves himself a meal.

I have a DH who doesn't usually get home from work until 7 or 8. He eats then, or if somebody has a game then he grabs something on the way or eats from the concession stand.

I have a College Student (and attached girlfriend) who lives in a Dorm 40 minutes away but wanders in and out of here like I'm a Holiday Inn Express. We'll leave the lights on for you and where's my Continental Breakfast Mom?

I keep a stack of heat-able entrees from Trader Joes in refrigerator and we utilize the Crockpot often.

We TRY to make a point of eating together as a family once or twice a week, usually on the weekends. However, we kind of like our lives and it really puzzles me that anybody else would give a crap that we're not eating at their pre-determined acceptable times. My husband isn't even usually home from work at the accepted family dinner time so I guess he's just going to have to resign his job and we'll live on welfare - all so we too can have a perfect family.

 

[kamik86]

I don't see why people are so upset about 6/6:30 meetings... what time do you want them?

If you have them earlier many kids can't get to them becuase the parents have jobs. Or if this activitity isn't a school activity lead by a teacher then the person teaching it needs time to get there from work.

If you have them later then parents get upset that the little ones are late for bed time or even if its a meeting for older kids that the other children in the house have to get up so the one parent that is home can pick up the older kids. Oh and if this is something that generally occurs outside its too dark to do stuff now.

No matter what time you pick its inconveinent for some group

 

[KimR]

The only time we eat together as a family is when we go out to dinner on Fridays, Saturdays, and Mondays. The rest of the time, the girls have their activities and/or DH is out so I order pizza or pick up subs on the way home from DDs' practice. My girls are far from obese and we do plenty of other things together as a family. I do cook one night a week while DD13 is at practice and leave it for her to heat up when she gets home.

I hate to cook anyway, so it's just not a priority for me. My girls are not obese and seem to be well-adjusted despite their lack of home-cooked meals. Different families do things different ways.

 

[Eastern]

For you maybe. Our kids are involved in school sports. When games start (as they do this week), oldest DD usually isn't getting home until 8p at the earliest. Often it's 9 after a road game. Since the two youngest ones get put to bed @ 8:30, kind of hard to have dinner "as a family". Even an "empty" week includes Scouts, classes, and practices with family members getting home at different times. Should some family members wait to eat (going hungry) for everyone to get home?

I'll tell you what, I won't begrudge you your ability to get everyone to sit down at the dinner table since that works for you if you don't begrudge the way our family does things.

I'm not begrudging anyone, Mr. Crabby. I'm allowed to think it's odd.

Some of my friends had sports kids who were always running off to another game; they would eat standing up! Now they're all in college and none of them are playing sports.

I think it's odd to sacrifice time with the people close to you in order to rush off doing a lot of 'activities'. My kids all had/have activities but they don't do everything possible. Maybe that's the difference.

And one of my kids is an Eagle scout.

 

[BBandDisney]

I love reading the budget boards. Every conversation ends like this post.

 

[luvmy3]

I'm not begrudging anyone, Mr. Crabby. I'm allowed to think it's odd.

Some of my friends had sports kids who were always running off to another game; they would eat standing up! Now they're all in college and none of them are playing sports.

I think it's odd to sacrifice time with the people close to you in order to rush off doing a lot of 'activities'. My kids all had/have activities but they don't do everything possible. Maybe that's the difference.

And one of my kids is an Eagle scout.

Really, not eating dinner together is sacrficing something? As it has been pointed out in this thread, just because families are not sitting down to dinner together doesn't mean they aren't spending time together in other ways. It doesn't matter how many activities some people are involved in, it is possible to make time for family, I don't get why thats such a hard concept for some of you to grasp

 

[mhsjax]

I'm not begrudging anyone, Mr. Crabby. I'm allowed to think it's odd.

Some of my friends had sports kids who were always running off to another game; they would eat standing up! Now they're all in college and none of them are playing sports.

I think it's odd to sacrifice time with the people close to you in order to rush off doing a lot of 'activities'. My kids all had/have activities but they don't do everything possible. Maybe that's the difference.

And one of my kids is an Eagle scout.

But you don't have to do everything possible to have a messed up dinner schedule. We have 3 kids and each one has only 1 activity. They are just all at different times. On a couple nights of the week, they are all gone at 30 minute over laps.

I think both sides are being judgmental/ defensive. I agree about people not cooking as much as they should. But it isn't my world, it is theirs. I also understand it, because sometimes I fall into that category myself. But I try not too.

Next year will be even worse, DD will be at her practice 4 times a week, for 1.2 hours each time, DS will be adding on football. It is how my kids prefer it. They love to be busy. And frankly, as parents, we do too. We spend lots of quality time together, after games on weekends, and we take trips together. So far this year we have been to the beach 2 times, and it isn't even the end of March.

Maybe to take away from the obesity problem, people should consider that family time doesn't have to be centered around food.

FWIW, the people at our activities that we are rushing off too, are some of our closest friends. We see each other outside of practice and games. WE enjoy each other's company.

 

[RitaE]

Your children don't have to be in "lots" of activities to fill up a weekday schedule. High School baseball runs 5 days a week with an occasional weekend game. Youth group meets 2 to 3 times a week. And I agree, it would be cruel to make my 8 year old wait to eat dinner until his brother is home from a road game which could easily be 9 to 9:30pm.

The 8 year old Little League plays 2 games a week + 2 practices. Add Church stuff to that and he's also fairly busy.

 

[ilovediznee]

I didn't want this post to start bashing people, I was just making an observation. Some of you are very supportive in your answers while others are just plain mean.

I am basing my comments on what I know of the people in my community and who I work with. Most, not all, don't eat dinner at all and it doesn't matter what time. Of those that don't, most are the ones who plan such meeting and practices and they will tell you so. Once again, I am basing this on the people I work and live near.

To those that ask why we don't eat earlier, I am not home in time to do so.

And to make the record straight, I am the OP and I didn't make the cow bell comment, another poster did.

Signing off of this post.

 

[FINFAN]

we eat dinner together if we can, we don't freak out if we can't. We also usually have a stray of some sort on the weekends (ds friends) so even then it is not a family only type arrangement. DS sports practices/games swithc times all over the place...the greatest thing ever was being able to fill out a sub sandwich order form so that he would have something to eat between school and a meet. We have times that work out where we are together and can converse/connect, it just rarely involves sititng and eating at the same time. That being said, I would say based on the posts here that yeah, the tradition of eating dinner together is not as common as it once was.

 

[hsmamato2]

it sounds like some pp's are defensive about their schedules- I don't know We are a 'dinner together' family b/c DH works all day and wants to see his family in the evening.
But sometimes we eat dinner at 5:30-other times we eat at 8:30....depends on what our schedules demand! so for OP to assume that 'no one else' eats together b/c they call during her dinner hour isn't quite fair......
some of ds's friends say our family dinners are the stuff of a good sitcom....lots of arguing,noise and discussions....usually TOO much....sigh.....
I agree with OP in some ways,a lot of people I know don't do family dinners anymore,I think it's a good thing to keep up.....

 

[jrmasm]

Your children don't have to be in "lots" of activities to fill up a weekday schedule. High School baseball runs 5 days a week with an occasional weekend game. Youth group meets 2 to 3 times a week. And I agree, it would be cruel to make my 8 year old wait to eat dinner until his brother is home from a road game which could easily be 9 to 9:30pm.

The 8 year old Little League plays 2 games a week + 2 practices. Add Church stuff to that and he's also fairly busy.

Yup. My oldest is in one activity. It's year round. During her slow season she's gone 2 nights a week. Busy season, she's out 7 nights a week.

If we're all home, we eat together. If not, we don't If not eating together every night is the worst thing that happens to our kids, we've done a damn good job.

 

[DisneyScraps]

We eat dinner together every night. I love cooking and i cook from scratch or if I get really busy something frozen that I cooked before. I love feeding my family and we eat together and have family time. If we have something schedules in the evening we eat early or late whatever we need to.

I don't know too many other people personally that do this. One close friend eats out every night. another does frozen pizza or eats out. One friend cooks something and her kids eat it when they want, all in different rooms.

Each family has to do what they need to do.

Lisa

 

[kamik86]

When I was younger dinnner time was not my favorite time to spend with my parents. I had much more fun fishing with Dad on weekends in the summer or watching cartoons on saturday mornings.

Time with Mom was for other activities we did alot of crafts, some sewing stuff, she would also go fishing with us sometimes once she got her fishing license too... and I would help her bake and cook sometimes.

During dinner we ate... thus we didn't talk as much. When we would go out we would since you have to wait for the food but at home Dad didn't come out for food until I called him for dinner as we set the table. So the food was already there once we were done we all dispersed again.

Missing that would really not have upset me too much.

 

[angierae]

Heck, when I was a kid in the late 70's/early 80's, we ate dinner at home at precisely 6pm every single night (we went out to eat once a month and got pizza delivered once a month) and guess what?

My parents ate in the living room in front of the TV watching the news, and I ate at the kitchen table alone because the tv would distract me from eating.

So I figure if my family sits down to a meal together 3-4 times a week, I'm still way ahead of my parents. *grin*

 

[mhsjax]

it sounds like some pp's are defensive about their schedules- I don't know We are a 'dinner together' family b/c DH works all day and wants to see his family in the evening.
But sometimes we eat dinner at 5:30-other times we eat at 8:30....depends on what our schedules demand! so for OP to assume that 'no one else' eats together b/c they call during her dinner hour isn't quite fair......
some of ds's friends say our family dinners are the stuff of a good sitcom....lots of arguing,noise and discussions....usually TOO much....sigh.....
I agree with OP in some ways,a lot of people I know don't do family dinners anymore,I think it's a good thing to keep up.....

That is great that you can adjust your times for eating. However, I can't eat that late, and my DS would be deathly ill, plus it is his bedtime at 8:30.

I do agree that I think you should try and eat together whenever possible, but I just can't and won't make a child starve so we can eat together, and I won't fee them multiple snacks to hold them over either. And for me that is what it would come down to.

 

[lmgaddis]

I will start by saying that I love to cook! I am a SAHM and have the time to cook dinner for my family every night but right now it just doesn't work for us to eat together every night. I grew up with dinner being on the table every night by 6:00 and all of us eating together. I enjoyed it and wish we could do it more often right now. Once May 28th rolls around our schedule should be a little more "normal" for us.

I have 3 boys. Ages 12, 9, and 7. The oldest and youngest both play Little League baseball. The middle one takes drum lessons. The oldest plays 6 days a week between practice and games. The youngest plays 5 days at least, more often than not he is also at the fields 6 days also. We live in a town that takes it baseball VERY seriously! That might explain why we have been in the LL World Series twice in the past few years. All of our practices last AT LEAST 2 hours. Most nights we aren't pulling into the house until at least 8:00. Sometimes it is later depending on late games.

My oldest does not like to eat before his games because he feels like it slows him down and he will get stomach aches running on a full stomach. I try to give him a good snack before practice/games. He eats dinner when he gets home. My youngest comes home from school starving so I try to give him a "meal" for snack and then he eats again when he gets home from practice. my middle child luckily is good with going with the flow. If both dh and I are not both at the fields he will eat with one of us at around 6 or so.

Most of the time the boys are not practicing at the same fields and don't practice at the same time. I find it really hard to schedule dinner when we are literally running from field to field from 5:30 until 9:00. We do what we can and if we can eat together we do. This is not permanent for us. The season ends at the end of May so we do it like this now.

More power to the moms and dads that can eat together as a family with wonky schedules! I just can't right now. I don't think judgement should be cast on those of us that can't though. You never know what kind of things other families have going on. Our family isn't over scheduled at all. We just live in a crazy town that takes their baseball really seriously!

 

[mhsjax]

I will start by saying that I love to cook! I am a SAHM and have the time to cook dinner for my family every night but right now it just doesn't work for us to eat together every night. I grew up with dinner being on the table every night by 6:00 and all of us eating together. I enjoyed it and wish we could do it more often right now. Once May 28th rolls around our schedule should be a little more "normal" for us.

I have 3 boys. Ages 12, 9, and 7. The oldest and youngest both play Little League baseball. The middle one takes drum lessons. The oldest plays 6 days a week between practice and games. The youngest plays 5 days at least, more often than not he is also at the fields 6 days also. We live in a town that takes it baseball VERY seriously! That might explain why we have been in the LL World Series twice in the past few years. All of our practices last AT LEAST 2 hours. Most nights we aren't pulling into the house until at least 8:00. Sometimes it is later depending on late games.

My oldest does not like to eat before his games because he feels like it slows him down and he will get stomach aches running on a full stomach. I try to give him a good snack before practice/games. He eats dinner when he gets home. My youngest comes home from school starving so I try to give him a "meal" for snack and then he eats again when he gets home from practice. my middle child luckily is good with going with the flow. If both dh and I are not both at the fields he will eat with one of us at around 6 or so.

Most of the time the boys are not practicing at the same fields and don't practice at the same time. I find it really hard to schedule dinner when we are literally running from field to field from 5:30 until 9:00. We do what we can and if we can eat together we do. This is not permanent for us. The season ends at the end of May so we do it like this now.

More power to the moms and dads that can eat together as a family with wonky schedules! I just can't right now. I don't think judgement should be cast on those of us that can't though. You never know what kind of things other families have going on. Our family isn't over scheduled at all. We just live in a crazy town that takes their baseball really seriously!

And isn't it fun, in a crazy, mixed up way? It has taken me a while, but I have grown to love our kids schedules and activities. You make a lot of friends doing this. And then again, you have some that you don't want to see so much, also.

 

[Disney-Chick]

My family doesn't sit down at the table but we eat at the same time (when possible). DD & myself are usually in front of the TV and my DH is in front of his computer in the next room. We can all talk and we do. I was a single mother for 9 years and my DD and I are close. She tells me quite a bit that goes on at school and out. We usually eat between 4-5pm. My DD will get home from school and call me at work asking what is for supper. If I have nothing planned then I will ask her to take something out. But if it is a free for all night she makes her own. The same goes with if she doesn't like what im making. Im not a restaurant and I don't take orders. Eat what I make or make your own. In the end we all talk about our day, what is going on in the news or on tv. We also adjust our eating to what is going on that night.

Everyone needs to remember...to each his own. Being rude and putting other's down doesn't change a thing.

hmm maybe I should go figure out what is for supper tonight instead of sitting on the Dis forums??!?!

 

[tlbwriter]

I can't tell you the number of times I get phone calls between 6 and 7:30 with friends just wanting to chat and I say, "are you eating" and they say no.

People call you, and you ask if they are eating, and they say no, and you are surprised? Did you expect them to call while they were eating? Just as a heads up, most people consider it rude to eat on the phone. Also, you expect people to always be eating between 6 and 7:30? Does it really take 90 minutes to eat dinner? What if they ate earlier or later? This is just really an odd thing to say.

I will push '1' and then ring bell as loud as I can in their ear...oh well!

That's one of the rudest things I've ever seen. And I'm supposed to think you are this awesome wholesome family because you eat together? LOL! Don't think so. You sound mean to me.