Is it inappropriate to have a big wedding if-

[BelleWDW]

You are marrying the father of your 1 year old?



My coworker/ friend shared the photo file of her sister's wedding with me. They were such amazing, wonderful and happy pictures. She was so excited to be the maid of honor. Her sister's one year old was in the wedding. This was a big Catholic Church wedding with a wonderful reception.

Well-to brighten my semi-shut-in MIL's day-I shared the pictures with her.(big mistake)
She went on and on how she didn;t like the bridesmaids dresses

Then told me she was old fashioned, and dint think it right to have a big

wedding if they had a child.




Is that a "no-no"?

(To me if a priest married them-it was ok with the Church-right?)

 

[Jennasis]

It's fine. It's wonderful. It's nobody's business but the bride and groom (or whomever foots the bill). Your MIL sounds like a joyles old fart.

 

[lillygator]

the bride and groom can do whatever they want...! Glad she had the wedding of her dreams.

 

[mumom95]

In my opinion the bride and groom have the right to have whatever kind of wedding they want.

But I do think in some old fashion ettiquette rule somewhere, it may be a no-no.

I remember when I was a kid, my neighbors daughter got married. It was the big traditional Catholic wedding. The bride walked down the isle in a stunning white wedding dress, being 8 months pregnant. The wedding was beautiful, and the reception was a blast, but boy I remember it was the talk of the neighborhood for the next month about how tacky it looked.

 

[disykat]

The bride and groom have the right to do anything they want.

I also have the right to think it's tacky. Personally, if I went in the non-traditional order I would choose a less traditional wedding.

 

[Heidict]

I always figure that unless your paying for it then you have no say in it.

They got married, it's a celebration. They can go as crazy and big as they want.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Depends who you talk to, I suppose. It is a matter of opinion.

With your MIL my guess is that she is alluding to the fact the guy should have married her after he found out she was pregnant. I got pregnant and then did not have a big wedding and was married at the courthouse.
I was not involved in church otherwise I might have been married in one.

I just look at it as they did what was right for them.

 

[xoprincessmomxo]

They can do whatever they want! I think it's great. I was a non traditional bride (though we had a justice of the peace wedding), and we've been together for nearly 10 years with two beautiful DDs. Some of our friends who went the "traditional" route are divorced now with children stuck in the middle.

 

[DisneyBlonde]

It's so common now, I don't think anyone bats an eye at this anymore (except maybe older, very religious people). I got remarried 3 years ago and it was a big wedding because my DH had never been married, and it's what he wanted. DS20 was a groomsman. If it was left totally up to me, it would have gone down much differently.

 

[belle&sebastiansmom]

Lucky they were able to get married in the Catholic Church. My brother and SIL were refused by the Priest because she was pregnant.

Just glad they had a beautiful day anyway!

 

[Scurvy]

The bride and groom have the right to do anything they want.

I also have the right to think it's tacky. Personally, if I went in the non-traditional order I would choose a less traditional wedding.

I agree. They absolutely have the right to have whatever wedding will make them happiest, but my personal opinion is that it might be a little . . . I don't know. "Off", maybe? Slightly tacky? I can't quite put my finger on why I feel that way. Even though it might not be the case for them, it would make me suspect that they cared more about having a big, showy wedding than they did about getting married. I think if I was pregnant and knew I wanted to marry the father of my child, I would rather do it before the child was born than wait and have a big wedding afterward. But maybe that's just the traditionalist in me speaking.

 

[DawnCt1]

Any "perceived tackiness" is outweighed by the fact that they are creating an intact family for their child. Good for them!

 

[FireDancer]

I think the bride and groom should do whatever they feel they want, it isn't my place to tell them. Now, if someone else is paying they probably should have a say in the budget, but not the details.

I think often times the reception is less about celebrating the marriage and more about competing with friends. In the case of my friends who are lucky enough to have their parents pay for the reception it almost turns into a party for the parents and their friends instead of the bride and groom.

Personally I care less about the details and more about the fact I am marrying someone I love but maybe that is a bit of a naive way to look at it. I am also male so that may make a difference.

In the end do what you like, if people are going to critique it they will do it no matter what you do. Some people have to find fault in everything just to justify their own existence.

 

[kpm76]

It happens a alot....I don't really have a strong opinion on it, but I do think if you know you want to marry the father of your child, why wait a whole year?

What bothers me more though are the Catholic brides that have big lavish weddings, get divorced, get the annulment and have a SECOND, big lavish Catholic wedding. It's absurd. I know someone right now who is planning their second wedding and it's even bigger and more expensive than the first (NY wedding so those who are familiar know what I am talking about).

 

[piglet too]

While we did not have a huge wedding, it was still the wedding I wanted. My son was not even a month old when we got married. The wedding was all planned when we found out I was pregnant. I was 20 at the time, still living at home and going to college. My parent's health insurance covered me for the whole pregnancy. At that time, it was considered a "pre-existing condition" so if we had gotten married, I would not have had health insurance. So we did the smart thing and post-poned our wedding (it had been set for June) until after our son was born.

Sure, there were people who frowned upon it, but that was their problem. Our pastor had no issue with it, he even offered to come to the hospital to visit when our son was born. Our case is a little different then the one OP tells of, but does it matter? As long as the couple are happy, in love, is it really anyones business how much their wedding cost?

 

[Ember]

I see nothing wrong with that at all! They had the wedding they wanted in the way they wanted. There are a lot of things I can't stand when it comes to weddings - including gift registry information, for example... But I would never judge someone for having the wedding they want.

Okay... if I'm going to be honest here... I went to a wedding a few years back that was outside in July at noon in a big field in the middle of no where. There was no shade anywhere and the wedding started an hour and a half late! By the time the darn thing was over I was sunburned, dehydrated, had a migraine from the heat, and had enough mosquito bites to create a very elaborate connect the dots puzzle. I still look back on their wedding with near hate. I'm glad they had what they wanted, but a little consideration for the guest they were baking in the sun would have been nice!

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Is it inappropriate

On the DIS? Never! It's their wedding...they can do whatever they want.

Maybe I'm a bit jaded at the moment since we're going to a wedding soon where the bride and groom are thinking only of themselves, not their guests. But then again...that's what counts...it's THEIR wedding.

 

[2binak]

I see no problem with it. They had the wedding they wanted, when they wanted it or could afford it, or whatever the circumstance might have been.

Just because a priest married them doesn't mean the church was ok with it, it just means that they may have had to make some statement about their situation. My cousin was married in the Methodist church when she was a 2 months pregnant. 10 years later, she was divorced and was getting married to someone else. They wanted a Catholic ceremony and in order to get married in the Catholic church in our town, she had to deny that her first marriage ever existed and agree to say that her son was born out of wedlock. I'm not saying this is the case for everyone and every Catholic church, it was what my cousin was asked to do.

 

[CathrynRose]

It's fine. It's wonderful. It's nobody's business but the bride and groom (or whomever foots the bill). Your MIL sounds like a joyles old fart.

Agreed.

My ex husband and I had a 'semi big' wedding, and our son was 3. He 'gave me away' in his cute little tux. I swear, I think he had the most fun at the wedding. The pictures we have of him are hilarious. He danced the night away.

So, IMO - it's no one's business but the bride and the groom. If anyone has a problem with it, they shouldn't go, and keep their snootery to themselves.

 

[PatsMom]

I think a bride and groom are entitled to any kind of wedding they want and can afford to pay for. I was a non-traditional bride and we are still going strong 18 years after our wedding. We didn't choose a big service, just a JP and a few friends and family in my mother's living room. But if I had always wanted a big wedding, that is what I would have done.