Is Facebook too Pervasive and Important?

[LuvCuteBoys]

I was a victim, too, and I could ignore the phone calls well enough, and they ended once school was out and people found other things to talk about. Once the phone receiver went down, each incident was over. However, the graffiti on the side of a building stayed there for decades. That was just in my home-town, which I left after hs and never looked back at except for a one-day Christmas visit, so for the most part it didn't affect me once I was gone. There wasn't any published index that let someone search my name and be told the address of the building so that they could go look at it.

On Facebook or the like, hundreds of thousands of people can see it, even years later, and that includes prospective employers six states away. It's a whole different order of magnitude.

We will also have to agree to disagree. I was emotionally scarred. Badly.

If the stuff I dealt with verbally had been documented, I highly doubt that a prospective employer in Georgia would have cared. It may have actually worked in my favor.

 

[FireDancer]

Really? You seriously believe that one person should be able to say mean and spiteful things to another because its what they FEEL?

Should they be able to, absolutely. Should they do it, probably not, but there is a big difference between what should be allowed and what should be done.

Freedom of speech includes not nice speech, as it should. The Internet is one of the places that, at least in America, provides an uncensored outlet for expression. Some of that expression will be positive and some will be negative. I'd rather have the modern Internet with all it's bad qualities then not have it at all or have it censored like it is in China or Tunisia.

 

[luvsJack]

Should they be able to, absolutely. Should they do it, probably not, but there is a big difference between what should be allowed and what should be done.

Freedom of speech includes not nice speech, as it should. The Internet is one of the places that, at least in America, provides an uncensored outlet for expression. Some of that expression will be positive and some will be negative. I'd rather have the modern Internet with all it's bad qualities then not have it at all or have it censored like it is in China or Tunisia.

Oh, please. Do not degrade the Constitution by calling it freedom of speech.

I have said time and again, your rights stop at the end of my nose. And when you (general you) are saying mean, spitefull,hateful things about me over and over again to the point of bullying than your "freedom of speech" stops because you have reached the end of my nose.

It doesn't matter whether those things are being said in the classroom, on the bus, on the phone--verbally or through text, or on facebook--when it continues on and on even after the person saying it knows how hurtful it is to the person they are saying it to it IS bullying. And it should be dealt with by someone.

The freedoms and rights we are blessed with in this country do NOT give any of us the freedom or the right to cause pain to another person.

Again--neither abuse nor bullying are only physical.

 

[Magic Mom]

It's really not.

If you associate with people like that, maybe. But I, for one, do not.

My FB world must be pretty boring. The most exciting thing on my page today is my son and his group of college friends deciding to have a "No Shave November." Other than that it's just people posting nice things to friends, posting news and pictures about their families and a few game updates from some friends who play FB WAY too much apparently. Nothing resembling Jerry Springer at all. The worst thing about FB is reminding my son that all of his family and family friends can see every thing he says. That's a work in progress.

I an see how FB can be used to bully though, and what is different about online bullying than face to face bullying, is that online bullying follows the victim everywhere. A kid bullied at school can go home to safety. A kid bullied online has nowhere safe to go. Telling them to stay offline and removing texting is punishing the victim. Kids want to be connected. It's the equivalent to hanging out at the soda shop, or the football game from back in the day.

 

[bicker]

A kid bullied at school has to go back to school the next day. A kid buillied online can cancel their account and never go back.

 

[luvsJack]

A kid bullied at school has to go back to school the next day. A kid buillied online can cancel their account and never go back.

Or they can block the bullies and everyone associated with the bullies from their account. But if the bullies are kids they go to school with or kids in their neighborhood, they still have to face them.

If someone will do it on facebook they will do it in real life. Most kids are friends on facebook with their classmates and neighbors IRL.

 

[Missy1961]

A kid bullied at school has to go back to school the next day. A kid buillied online can cancel their account and never go back.

Yes, a kid bullied online can cancel their account. But it is still out there. And more kids than his or her classmates see it. And adults too. A kid being bullied in school only can go to another school or moves on to college where no one knows him or her. But with online bullying, it follows them forever.

I love Facebook, I really do. It helps me stay connected with friends and family all over the US. But it's silly to pretend that it doesn't cause problems. The drama can be easily overlooked, but cyber bullying can not.

 

[bicker]

Yes, a kid bullied online can cancel their account. But it is still out there.

So is the school. The point is that, in addition to the things that make the in-school bullying and online bullying the same, there are things that make them different, and those differences make the in-school bullying a lot worse.

 

[DawnCt1]

A kid bullied at school has to go back to school the next day. A kid buillied online can cancel their account and never go back.

While that is true, what I am hearing from many middle schoolers, is that the behavior that starts on Facebook continues in real life in the school. The bullies call it to the attention of others, etc. If it stayed within Facebook, it woldn't be a problem. I don't care what adults do. I find it disturbing that young children and middle schoolers are as active on Facebook as they are.

 

[palavra]

Actually I think people should be free to say mean hurtful things. If person B thinks person A is ugly, fat, unkempt, lazy, or anything else they should be able to say so, even on Facebook, and person A should be able to say the same thing about person B if that is what they feel.

That above example would by some be considered bullying, I don't think it is. People are entitled to their opinion of others and are allowed to share that opinion, even if it is a negative one. You (general you) can choose to allow that to hurt you or shrug it off as merely one (or even many) people's opinion. Only you can make the choice as to which you will do, not me, but I know what I would do. There is no reason that should make anyone feel afraid. If that same person said "I am going to kill person A because they are ugly/fat/stupid/whatever" it goes beyond mere opinion and at that point can and should be dealt with. I do agree with you that someone shouldn't be made to be afraid and if someone is fearful of harm they should be protected.

I do not believe that anyone has a right to not have their feelings hurt though. Having them hurt is just a part of life. An unpleasant part but a part.

I fully agree this isn't nice or a good thing to do but it should be allowed in the same way that that crackpot church should be allowed to protest funerals. I always want to err on the side of more freedom, especially in speech. And before anyone says hate speech is illegal the legal definition of hate speech is quite different then mean or hurtful opinions of someone, especially when that opinion is not based on a protected classification like race.

Anyway, this is what I feel and believe.

I really hope I never come across you in person, and I certainly hope that if you have children at some point in your life that you won't feel free to tell them that they are ugly, lazy or fat.

One of the boys in my 8th grade class was repeatedly told that he was ugly, too short and a wimp. He handled himself with great restraint until it jut got to be too much. One day, he went home after school and shot himself in the head. Did the bullies have a right to say what they did to him? Sure. And now they get to live with what they did for the rest of their lives.

 

[Scurvy]

I an see how FB can be used to bully though, and what is different about online bullying than face to face bullying, is that online bullying follows the victim everywhere. A kid bullied at school can go home to safety. A kid bullied online has nowhere safe to go. Telling them to stay offline and removing texting is punishing the victim. Kids want to be connected. It's the equivalent to hanging out at the soda shop, or the football game from back in the day.

But really, the kid doesn't have to stay offline in order to avoid Facebook bullying. They can't go to the soda shop or football game and prevent the bullies from talking to them while they are there, but they can go on Facebook without letting the bullies have any contact with them on there. You have more power on Facebook than just about anywhere else (except maybe your own home) to take charge and prevent people from bullying you. That may not be the case everywhere online, but it is on Facebook. The site gives you control over who you interact with. You can block someone and make all your settings "friend only" and the bullies can't mess with you. They can talk to each other about you, of course, but then they can do that anywhere.

If someone will do it on facebook they will do it in real life. Most kids are friends on facebook with their classmates and neighbors IRL.

Absolutely. Facebook is just the venue some people choose to utilize. If they weren't doing it on there, they'd be doing it in school or on another website, or anywhere else they happen to be. And probably if they are bullying on Facebook, they are already doing it everywhere else as well. Facebook isn't any more to blame than any other venue where the bullying happens to occur.

 

[SandiH]

I tried to hit the "like" button but there is none here. Does that mean I FB too much????

I wanted to hit the "like" button too.

 

[creativeamanda]

I want to hit the like button over here, but I usually want the dancing banana or the whistling or the lmao smilry over at FB sometimes, too.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

It bothers me that so many people seem to think that the bullying and tormenting is a new phenomenon created by Facebook users and that if FB didn't exist, everyone would live happy peaceful lives singing Kumbaya and talking about rainbows and sunshine.

Get your heads out of the sand and stop blaming the medium.

Teach your kids to be nice and to treat each other with respect. And to stick up for themselves. And that IT WILL GET BETTER.

Ugh.

 

[Magic Mom]

It bothers me that so many people seem to think that the bullying and tormenting is a new phenomenon created by Facebook users and that if FB didn't exist, everyone would live happy peaceful lives singing Kumbaya and talking about rainbows and sunshine.

Get your heads out of the sand.

Teach your kids to be nice and to treat each other with respect. And to stick up for themselves. And that IT WILL GET BETTER.

Ugh.

I didn't see one post that even implied that.

 

[OK!]

People with Facebook drama would still have drama without Facebook.

This. Personally, I like FB quite a bit. It's enabled me to get back in touch with people I haven't spoken to in years, and some of us have gotten quite close again. My friends aren't prone to drama, so I see very little if any.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

I think Facebook is great for keeping in touch with people, but if someone was bullying me, I would certainly delete them as a friend. Let alone that none of those children should've been on Facebook in the first place, since they are all too young according to Facebook's TOS to have accounts. I would be interested to hear exactly what happened for an arrest to be necessary though.

 

[C.Ann]

Yes..

 

[Carly_Roach]

It's interesting to me that the people with the strongest opinions about the evils of Facebook don't have accounts.

I don't see why it would be interesting. Those who speak out the loudest against drugs don't use drugs. Those who speak out the loudest against gay marriage aren't participating in a gay marriage. Why would it be interesting that those who detest FB don't use it?

I know based on what I've observed that crack and meth are highly addicting and destructive, therefore I needn't try those 'recreational' drugs just to prove that I've tried them and they are highly addicting and destructive.

Based on what I've observed in real life and on the net, Facebook seems to create (at best) narcissistic individuals who spend hours on line seeking validation for themselves and (at worst) drama-addled individuals who have turned Facebook into their entire lives and use it as their preferred vehicle of reality show soap opera; a script created by the individual where the he-said-she-said FB exchange can, and will, ruin any real-life gathering of these people if and when they ever get together.

FB is an addiction. I already have enough of those in my life, I don't need another.

I haven't read all the posts yet, but when I was in high school I was bullied frequently via phone calls. It was miserable, but it never occured to me to actually blame the phone itself.

If people want to be jerks, they will find a way to do it.

Instead of blaming facebook, I think we need to work harder at teaching the jerks to stop being jerks and to teach those being tormented that it WILL get better.

I wonder if these conversations popped up every time a new form of communication was invented. I wonder how many people disliked Alexander Graham Bell for creating something that changed conversation and communication.

Or that darn Tsai Lun for inventing paper

Actually, if someone is being bullied via phone calls and has requested that the bully stop calling, then that constitues a harrassing phone call and steps can be taken via the phone company and police to stop the harrassment. This process has been going on for decades and the phone company takes it very seriously. You or your parents should have contacted the phone company when the harrassment started to begin the process.

No one is blaming the communications media of the telephone because guidelines were put into place and were strictly enforced in order to curtail the ability of using the phone to harrass. The same cannot be said of Facebook or any other internet media, nor (imo) should there be. People are free to use or not use FB, just as they are free to use or not use any other website out there.

As for me and my own, we choose to stay as far away from this addiction as possible. We've seen the damage it has caused and are choosing to not have that damage in our own lives.

 

[Scurvy]

I don't see why it would be interesting. Those who speak out the loudest against drugs don't use drugs. Those who speak out the loudest against gay marriage aren't participating in a gay marriage. Why would it be interesting that those who detest FB don't use it?

I know based on what I've observed that crack and meth are highly addicting and destructive, therefore I needn't try those 'recreational' drugs just to prove that I've tried them and they are highly addicting and destructive.

Based on what I've observed in real life and on the net, Facebook seems to create (at best) narcissistic individuals who spend hours on line seeking validation for themselves and (at worst) drama-addled individuals who have turned Facebook into their entire lives and use it as their preferred vehicle of reality show soap opera; a script created by the individual where the he-said-she-said FB exchange can, and will, ruin any real-life gathering of these people if and when they ever get together.

FB is an addiction. I already have enough of those in my life, I don't need another. .

That's wise. If anyone feels that they would be in danger of becoming addicted to Facebook, they should avoid joining the site. The same could be said for anything else. Some people have no self control when it comes to Facebook, and obviously those people would be better off if they stopped using it. Some people have no self control when it comes to taking Disney vacations, and will spend time and money on that when they truly can't afford to. Anything has the potential to take up too much of someone's time - the wise people are the ones who avoid whatever they might have trouble with. Fortunately, there are many people who are able to manage their time quite well when it comes to Facebook.

Actually, if someone is being bullied via phone calls and has requested that the bully stop calling, then that constitues a harrassing phone call and steps can be taken via the phone company and police to stop the harrassment. This process has been going on for decades and the phone company takes it very seriously. You or your parents should have contacted the phone company when the harrassment started to begin the process.

No one is blaming the communications media of the telephone because guidelines were put into place and were strictly enforced in order to curtail the ability of using the phone to harrass. The same cannot be said of Facebook or any other internet media, nor (imo) should there be. People are free to use or not use FB, just as they are free to use or not use any other website out there.

As for me and my own, we choose to stay as far away from this addiction as possible. We've seen the damage it has caused and are choosing to not have that damage in our own lives.

Of course, since Facebook gives users the tools to handle this sort of thing themselves, it's even less of an issue on there than it is with the telephone. Not only can you block all communication from specific users on Facebook, you can also block anyone who isn't a friend from initiating communication with you at all. If a friend starts to be a problem, you can remove and block them. Facebook doesn't need to step in as quickly simply because they have made it very simple for people to handle those sorts of problems for themselves. However, if necessary Facebook will step in. I have heard of people being banned from the site for violating the terms of service. The Facebook terms of service state (among other things) that:
You will not bully, intimidate, or harass any user.
You will not post content that: is hateful, threatening, or pornographic; incites violence; or contains nudity or graphic or gratuitous violence.
You will not use Facebook to do anything unlawful, misleading, malicious, or discriminatory.
You will not provide any false personal information on Facebook, or create an account for anyone other than yourself without permission.
You will not create more than one personal profile.
If we disable your account, you will not create another one without our permission.
You will not post content or take any action on Facebook that infringes or violates someone else's rights or otherwise violates the law.
We can remove any content or information you post on Facebook if we believe that it violates this Statement.
Fortunately, they probably don't have to ban people too often because most users of Facebook make use of the privacy tools they are given to prevent others from bullying or harrassing them if it becomes a problem for them.