Is anyone else not saving or paying for college?

[pacrosby]

I think a lot of how you (general you) feel about paying for college education has to do with your financial situation.

Not always, but I believe it is a big factor.

Well...we fit into the not always category I guess.

My husband and I got to where we are in life in part because we were willing to make the decisions that many others were not willing to make.

It's this formula thinking that I think holds many people back these days.....leading to an ordinary life, instead of an extraordinary life.

 

[robinb]

I frequent a lot of college boards, and it is astounding how much misinformation is out there regarding loans/scholarships/etc.

Which boards are those? My DD is in 8th grade and I will need a place for good information about colleges soon enough.

As for the student borrowing to pay for their education-in most cases, they are not going to be able to do that. There are limits on how much a student can borrow each year from the Stafford program, and private loans require a co-signer.

Good point! Back when I was in college (a million years ago) I was able to pay for my education between grants, loans & work study jobs. The cost of a college education has gone up so much and that is no longer an option for many kids. Which brings up the private college loan which need a co-signer. That co-signer, the PARENTS, will be responsible for paying off the loan if the child cannot ... for whatever reason. I recall a thread a couple months ago about a woman who co-signed for her son's student loan and that son died in an accident and the bank expected her to continue to pay the loan.

 

[DeaverTex]

Part of going to college is finding the right fit between the university and the student, not just finding the right program. Tex Jr. found the right fit and the right program at a private university, about 100 miles from home. It costs us about $40K a year, with tuition, books, fees, housing, meals, etc. FAFSA has advised us that we can afford to pay about $35K of that ourselves. Since so very many scholarships have been linked to financial need, that kinda precludes scholarships, other than sports -- and he doesn't play. The scholastic scholarships are VERY small amounts, more of a recognition award than a useful benefit. Stafford and other education loans are, well... loans. Ya gotta pay 'em back, most with interest, so it's better not to take 'em out if you can manage.

I can't imagine a college student finding a job that paid $40K after taxes, and still leave time for schoolwork. Or, for that matter, finding that job and staying in school since an awful lot of fields don't reach pay levels like that for years. While we encourage Tex Jr. to work as he can, and he darned well earns his recreational money, it's completely unrealistic to expect him to make a meaningful contribution to his college expenses. He tutors flute students and tunes pianos as he can, but -- as I'm sure you've noticed -- money is tight these days, and those aren't what most people would call necessities.

Still, we brought this human being into the world, and it's our job to give him the tools to make his own way in that world. We're doing that, and it gets priority over everything except necessities. If that's foolish of us, then we're foolish people. We'll cope.

We are putting our son through college, because that's what we believe is the right thing for us to do. I completely understand the people who just can't contribute to a college education for a child or children. But I do wonder at the people who could afford to help their kids, but refuse to help a child who is going to college, doing well, and working hard. I'm certain they believe they're doing what's right for their children, and maybe it is for them. It's just not us, though. That's why YMMV was invented.

 

[Patience]

I will say that I wish that people would stop twisting other's words. Not a single person has said that paying for college would MAKE kids ungrateful or ALWAYS result in their not taking their studies as seriously as they perhaps should. Of course that is untrue. But many kids nowadays ARE taking this four years for granted. Because it's a given. And that can absolutely have an impact on how they approach it. When you, and only you, are responsible for the decisions you make, you will think twice about them. You will probably think longer and harder before majoring in Tibetan Anthropology. You probably won't decide to change your major to ceramics in your Junior year. And you probably won't major in college Fraternity parties. And if you do, you and you alone will be the one who suffers the consequences.

Anyone who would continue to pay while their child majored in "Fraternity Parties" is not acting in the best interest of his or her child. I am paying for my daughter's college education but if she chose to party instead of study, I would no longer pay. It's a two way street. My child works hard in college and her daddy and I work(ed) hard to pay for it. If she failed to uphold her end of the deal, we would fail to pay. Quite simple really. My girl did great her first semester and I have every confidence that she will continue to do so because it matters- to her and to us.

 

[MissManda]

My husband and I have full custody of our 15 yo nephew. He just moved in with us a little over a year ago. So, obvioulsy, we didn't have the luxury of trying to save money over his childhood for college. Even if we did have money saved, he would still be responsible in some way for financing his own college (either through scholarships, grants or loans). We will of course help out some but we will not take on all the burden.

We also don't plan to just buy him a car when he turns 16 either. If he wants his own vehicle he will get a job and help contribute to the vehicle (paying for gas, helping with insurance, etc).

We don't expect him to bear the full cost of everything, but I think it will keep him from taking what he is "being given" for granted.

This is how I was raised and I don't feel like I was harmed or disadvanted in anyway for having to take responsiblilty for my life and choices.

Of course, right now, my nephew is on a military track and is participating in his high school's JROTC program. This is his first year and he's already been recognized for his leadership and dedication to the program. I am hoping that if he sticks with it, he can get into a college with ROTC scholarships. Right now he wants career military so I'm encouring him to do college first then join up so he will have a degree going in and it will help with his job choices. He also plans to get a degree in history/education so he can teach once he's finished with the service. (It will be interesting to see how often this changes, but at least he has a plan!).

 

[jodifla]

I can't believe the adversarial relationship some parents have with their kids, and how little faith they have in them to do the right thing in college. Were your children always total ungrateful hellions and scofflaws that you can barely stand and can't wait to kick to the curb when they turn 18?

Most of my friends -- and myself -- got substantial help from their parents for college. Most of us also had "some skin in the game" -- I did campus work study for most of college. My parents put in what they could ( they were hardly rich) and I took out loans (which have all been paid back). We were a TEAM because we are a FAMILY.

These friends are all successful adults now (many even managed to "party" in college AND get good grades.) They and I were grateful for the help, and we are eager to help our own children, because every informed adult today know college is much more expensive than when we all went in the early '80s.

 

[pacrosby]

Anyone who would continue to pay while their child majored in "Fraternity Parties" is not acting in the best interest of his or her child. I am paying for my daughter's college education but if she chose to party instead of study, I would no longer pay. It's a two way street. My child works hard in college and her daddy and I work(ed) hard to pay for it. If she failed to uphold her end of the deal, we would fail to pay. Quite simple really. My girl did great her first semester and I have every confidence that she will continue to do so because it matters- to her and to us.

Unfortunately parents don't usually know.

It would appear that you would be surprised by how many kids can pull off reasonable, even good or great grades, without putting in their all. If parents think that grades are a reliable barometer, they are fooling themselves.

 

[pacrosby]

I can't believe the adversarial relationship some parents have with their kids, and how little faith they have in them to do the right thing in college. Were your children always total ungrateful hellions and scofflaws that you can barely stand and can't wait to kick to the curb when they turn 18?

Most of my friends -- and myself -- got substantial help from their parents for college. Most of us also had "some skin in the game" -- I did campus work study for most of college. My parents put in what they could ( they were hardly rich) and I took out loans (which have all been paid back). We were a TEAM because we are a FAMILY.

These friends are all successful adults now (many even managed to "party" in college AND get good grades.) They and I were grateful for the help, and we are eager to help our own children, because they know college is much more expensive than when we all went in the early '80s.

I can't believe how people continue to twist other people's words and assume facts not in evidence in order to try and bolster their own arguments and put themselves up on a pedestal.

 

[jodifla]

Unfortunately parents don't usually know.

You might be surprised how many kids can pull off reasonable, even good or great grades, and not be putting in their all. If parents think that grades are a reliable barometer...they are fooling themselves.

Part of going to school is the partying, I think. And paying your own bills, and negotiating your own schedule, cooking your own food, dealing with friends on your own, etc.

I was a sorority member, a fraternity little sister, worked on the school newspaper, went to parties every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night, AND got great grades AND a great job out of school.

THese things are hardly mutually exclusive.

 

[pacrosby]

Part of going to school is the partying, I think. And paying your own bills, and negotiating your own schedule, cooking your own food, dealing with friends on your own, etc.

I was a sorority member, a fraternity little sister, worked on the school newspaper, went to parties every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night, AND got great grades AND a great job out of school.

THese things are hardly mutually exclusive.

Apparently you missed my point but I'll bite......


That is your opinion (and yes you are entitled to it)

I personally do not feel that college is FOR partying, dealing with friends on your own, cooking your own food or negotiating your own schedule. (I'll just leave paying your own bills out of it lol). IMO college is for getting an education. If you feel the need to pay 100-150 grand for your kid to learn how to grow up and find themselves...that's fine for you. Not me.

 

[jodifla]

Apparently you missed my point but I'll bite......


For you.

I personally do not feel that college is for partying, dealing with friends on your own, cooking your own food or negotiating your own schedule. (I'll just leave paying your own bills out of it lol). IMO college is for getting an education. If you feel the need to pay 30/40/50 grand for you're kid to learn how to grow up...that's fine for you. Not me.

Makes me wonder how kids who take a different route ever learn how to do those things

There's a reason that college graduates make more money than those without degrees, and it goes beyond just the book learning done in school.

 

[Planogirl]

Apparently you missed my point but I'll bite......


That is your opinion (and yes you are entitled to it)

I personally do not feel that college is FOR partying, dealing with friends on your own, cooking your own food or negotiating your own schedule. (I'll just leave paying your own bills out of it lol). IMO college is for getting an education. If you feel the need to pay 30/40/50 grand for your kid to learn how to grow up...that's fine for you. Not me.

I agree completely with part of your statement. That is right for another DISer but not for you. That is my view and why people argue to prove that they're 'right' is beyond me.

I expect people to have leisure time whether they are working, in school or whatever. For me it's only a problem if it becomes excessive. YMMV.

 

[pacrosby]

There's a reason that college graduates make more money than those without degrees, and it goes beyond just the book learning done in school.

I think you've made the mistake of drinking too much of that koolaid.

 

[TXinmyheart]

These friends are all successful adults now (many even managed to "party" in college AND get good grades.) They and I were grateful for the help, and we are eager to help our own children, because every informed adult today know college is much more expensive than when we all went in the early '80s.

OK, but when does it stop after college? Grad school? A house, a vacation, and on and on.

Generally the kids who have been and are entering college 30 years since you went are moving back home after college. They are trying to live like their parents instead of having to struggle because their parents "don't want them to struggle."

Having parents born in and raised in the depression makes me understand I already had a life easier than they did. However, my spouse and I have no qualms spending our money on Disney vacations or world cruises while our child has to struggle and earn their own keep and place in life even if it takes them 10 years for a degree. I see so many parents staying in debt because they feel they have to save for college and I don't think that is right. I have no problems with a debt free set of parents offering something like an education match, but not until they are debt free and have a fully funded retirement in place.

 

[jodifla]

I think you've made the mistake of drinking too much of that koolaid.

Not sure what "koolaid" you are talking about. I'm talking about my own personal experience as a hiring manager for 10 years.

I know who was successful, who wasn't -- and their backgrounds.

 

[pacrosby]

I agree completely with part of your statement. That is right for another DISer but not for you. That is my view and why people argue to prove that they're 'right' is beyond me.

I expect people to have leisure time whether they are working, in school or whatever. For me it's only a problem if it becomes excessive. YMMV.

But I never said they shouldn't have leisure time. That wasn't the point.

Anyway, please don't misunderstand, I'm NOT telling other people what to do. I'm not telling people that my way is the right way for them. I'm just explaining why I feel the way I do. It's the other side that seems to have some problem with those who think differently than them. IDK...leads me to believe that it's because that they are not quite as confident in their decisions as they would like to believe. Otherwise, why would they feel so threatened by a different point of view?

 

[mommyrosa2]

My oldest is in her first year at college. When she was born, we coudn't afford to put $$ away for college. She knew very early on which career path she was taking and by her sophmore year in high school, she knew exactly which college she wanted to go to. We told her then that we would help her as much as we could but we also let her know what her responsibility was going to be as well. She got a part-time job after school at 17, we gave her a car and paid her insurance upfront for a year. We are paying about 40% of her tuition, she's paying out of pocket for some and the rest, she takes out in a student loan. By the time, she graduates in 3 more years, she'll have about $22,000 to repay. What we didn't tell her was that when she does graduate, we will give her one more installment to put down on the loan which will leave her with a loan of about $17K. I look at it like this: She's living at home for free (we would never charge her board), she has minimal expenses as we're helping her with everything else. We've told her not to be in a rush to move out and incur bills. If she follows our advice, she should be able to pay that debt off in no time once she graduates and once she does, i get to repeat the same scenario for my next daughter...what I do for one, I do for the other. I did just want to add, that we've been teaching our girls the value of a dollar since they were very little and I see nothing wrong with teaching my girls financial responsibility.

 

[pacrosby]

Not sure what "koolaid" you are talking about. I'm talking about my own personal experience as a hiring manager for 10 years.

I know who was successful, who wasn't -- and their backgrounds.

I'm sorry but that's a ridiculous statemtent. All you know as a hiring manager is that they have a piece of paper. You have little to no idea about what transpired while they were getting it.

And before people start in with the "I'm a blank and therefore I know all about blank" they should keep in mind that they don't know the background and personal experience of the people they are talking to. Trust me, there's a t*t for every tat.

 

[Planogirl]

But I never said they shouldn't have leisure time. That wasn't the point.

Anyway, please don't misunderstand, I'm NOT telling other people what to do. I'm not telling people that my way is the right way for them. I'm just explaining why I feel the way I do. It's the other side that seems to have some problem with those who think differently than them. IDK...leads me to because that they are not quite as confident in their decisions as they would like to believe. Otherwise, why would they feel so threatened by a different point of view?

It looked to me like both sides were threatened but I am a late arrival.

People have different philosophies on how to raise their kids of course. Including or not including college is just one part of that IMO. My father paid for my college but I also understood how much he wanted to do that because college meant everything to him. I was young and had a decent job but he hoped that I would continue on in my studies and I did. I never had a notion that it was expected or that I didn't need to struggle. I struggled plenty and that was true even when I went to college. Someone had to pay all of the bills.

All I mean by my rambling is that I see a lot of assuming going on here. Having an education be financed by your parents no more means that you don't understand how to struggle for what you want any more than it's true that all those who don't get a college degree get nowhere in life.

 

[jodifla]

I'm sorry but that's a ridiculous statemtent. All you know as a hiring manager is that they have an education. You have no idea if they lived on campus, partied in fraternaties and had mommy and daddy pay for it....or if they did it all on their own while living at home.

Keep in mind that you don't know my background and my personal experiences. There's a t*t for every tat.

Of course I don't know your circumstance. That's not what I was talking about.

In my particular case I did know, because I was also their day-to-day supervisor in addition to the person that hired them. I got to know them quite, quite well. There will always be exceptions. But in my case, and in my field, I saw clearly what made for a successful employee.

Also, not everybody has to or should go to college. Some people are better suited for trade or technical degrees. But I'll still support that child to go for those goals, as long as he was making solid progress, was working hard and was appreciative.