Is a church wedding 'open to the public?'

[mrsklamc]

I should also add that my first thought was to have my mom watch DD the whole weekend, it was my DH Who suggested taking her to the service so then she could see my sister...and this is his family's wedding.

Except she doesn't have to go to the wedding to see your sister; at least, it didn't seem like your sister was attending from your other post. So why not just leave DD with your sister prior to the wedding?

 

[declansdad]

Private property, which in our experiences, were open to the public.

under conditions setup by the owners.

 

[declansdad]

I am the OP from the thread they are discussing, and this is exactly the situation. They had to limit the guest list to adults only because of space at the reception. So, me, DH, DSS 22 and DSS 31 are invited, but DD 9 is not.
We want to bring her with us on the trip, have her attend the ceremony and then have my sister take her for the rest of the time.
I do understand people having different views, but there are some really nasty people on the other thread. Going so far as to say I only want to bring my DD to make the bride uncomfortable.... No idea why someone who doesn't know me would jump to think the worst of me, but...whatcha gonna do?

If the invitation is for an adults-only wedding, your are disrespecting the couple's wishes. Perhaps that is why people were jumping all over you. I have no idea if that is the reason as I didn't read the thread.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Other.

The answers "Yes, it's a public event"" and "No, no one should attend uninvited" aren't mutually exclusive.

Church weddings are public events, yes. Churches don't have bouncers. They aren't going to turn people away. But, that doesn't mean you should just show up to the wedding. Although I supposed you could call the police to escort someone out that you didn't want there.

However, I'm not sure how people would randomly show up to a wedding. They'd have to know when it was.

 

[declansdad]

I actually did start it as a general poll- I had no idea anyone would think it was ok to come to a wedding they weren't invited to. I'm now wondering of its predominately a Catholic thing.

Ours was a catholic wedding and it wasn't open to the public.

 

[ilovemk76]

A church is a place of worship and the house of God. It is there to serve the congregation and all of God's flock.

It is open to the public. A church dies not pay taxes because it is there to serve all. If the church wants to be a private club then they need to be taxed.

A wedding is open to all.

 

[Schmeck]

Isn't there a part in traditional wedding vows where people are asked if anyone objects to the wedding and is asked "speak now or forever hold your peace?"

Doesn't that kind of open the ceremony to all?

 

[declansdad]

A church is a place of worship and the house of God. It is there to serve the congregation and all of God's flock.

It is open to the public. A church dies not pay taxes because it is there to serve all. If the church wants to be a private club then they need to be taxed.

A wedding is open to all.

A church is open to the public based on the rules setup by the owners. Depending on the demoniation that could be the diocese or the congregation themselves. If they decide to lock the doors at certain times they are free to do so.

If you pay to rent the church for your wedding ceremony, you would be well within your rights to restrict access to the ceremony. it happens all the time.

 

[Gigi22]

Which is all, perhaps, a very good argument for having a wedding in an absolutely private setting? DH and I were married and had our reception at a private club to which my parents belonged. We used a small reception room for our ceremony and a larger room for the reception and dinner.

 

[Jennasis]

When I got married in a Catholic church we did not "rent" the church. We made a "donation" (a mandatory one BTW). Everyone who has ever gotten married in my family had the same thing, and when I got married a second time in my own backyard with a friend who is a Methodist minister presiding, we made another "donation" to his church.

 

[Art 1]

Yes. I have watched a few at St. Patricks Cathedral in NY.

 

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

Which is all, perhaps, a very good argument for having a wedding in an absolutely private setting? DH and I were married and had our reception at a private club to which my parents belonged. We used a small reception room for our ceremony and a larger room for the reception and dinner.

You make a good point, but that option isn't technically available to Catholics who want to marry within the Church (and I capitalized Church because in this context I mean within the sacrament of the Roman Catholic Church).

ETA, you can technically get a dispensation from your bishop to have a wedding outside of the church (under Cannon 1118.2), but they are extremely strict about this in practice and they are rarely granted. I cannot think of a bishop in the US Conference of Bishops who would allow a wedding to occur in a private club, in order to restrict attendance by the full Catholic faith community.

 

[MrsDuck]

I would not be thrilled if my wedding venue was "open to the public"-- in fact, I'd probably ask if it could not be open or I would consider hosting the ceremony elsewhere. JMO!

 

[shoney]

I have only been to Catholic church weddings, except for my own. LOL..We aren't practicing catholics, but wanted a church so we went to a local Methodist church. Either way, they always seemed open to the public to me. The doors are open and you sit down. How would anyone know that you weren't invited?

There were people at our wedding that we didn't know...because our parents invited them!

Honestly, for that reason, I wouldn't have thought to not bring a child that wasn't invited to a reception, to the church. I personally wouldn't because my kids are not used to being in church and they wouldn't have wanted to sit through it.

I know kids did attend our church ceremony but not the reception and I never gave it a thought until now!

 

[Gigi22]

You make a good point, but that option isn't technically available to Catholics who want to marry within the Church (and I capitalized Church because in this context I mean within the sacrament of the Roman Catholic Church).

ETA, you can technically get a dispensation from your bishop to have a wedding outside of the church (under Cannon 1118.2), but they are extremely strict about this in practice and they are rarely granted. I cannot think of a bishop in the US Conference of Bishops who would allow a wedding to occur in a private club, in order to restrict attendance by the full Catholic faith community.

I have no idea what flavour of religion the OP was inquiring about, and really, it's none of my business. The poll question did not use caps, so I thought it was a general inquiry.

A lot of people here get married outside--DNiece got married by the lake at her parent's fishing resort.

 

[Becky2005]

Interesting. I love my church but the doors are definitely locked when something isn't going on.

That is true here too! It is especially true since our church actually got robbed. There was a string of robberies a while ago & they were hitting all the churches, taking their computers, etc... Not good when there is also a school attached...so they basically went into our computer lab if I recall. It was many years ago (and yes it was locked then too but they broke in).

I have always heard weddings were basically open. I haven't heard too many people crashing weddings but I wouldn't know what would stop someone from doing so. I could see someone seeing a wedding going on and go sit in the back & watch. Unless they get up and are being obnoxious most people aren't going to pay attention if it is a mid sized wedding....it isn't as if they are going to show up to the reception (which is where the headcount information is important).

Then again if you have your wedding outside you will have strangers watching it too...same concept.

 

[Disney Doll]

Not at our church. If someone showed up at a wedding and was not wanted there by the couple, we would call the police and have them removed if they were not willing to leave on their own.

Our church is open to the public if there is church programming going on, but weddings are by invitation.

Well that must give the public a really warm fuzzy feeling about your church watching people get hauled away by the cops because they went in to watch a wedding uninvited.

How do you do "crowd control"?

Do you have to show your invitation to get in?
Do you need to show ID?

 

[goofy4tink]

Technically, anyone who wanders in is able to. In fact, my wedding photos, from my first wedding, have people in the back pew that no one can identify. They just stopped by to watch the proceedings.
I really don't have any issues with that...as long as the ceremony isn't disrupted.

 

[Coconut36]

Not at our church. If someone showed up at a wedding and was not wanted there by the couple, we would call the police and have them removed if they were not willing to leave on their own.

Our church is open to the public if there is church programming going on, but weddings are by invitation.

OMG I hope that is a joke or you are being sarcastic. What church would actually call the police on someone..wedding or private event or not. That is sad.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Yes. I have watched a few at St. Patricks Cathedral in NY.

Yep! I have too. One of the most beautiful brides I've ever seen... their ceremony was being conducted at the little altar behind the main altar.

Rent the church? Never heard of such a thing.