Inviting a friend

[FredinFL]

No way would I pay for another kid. Talk to the parents, before talking to the girls and see if they can pay for the child's tickets and food and spending money. You are offering to take the child with your family not pay for another person on the trip. If someone asked me if my child could go to keep their daughter company, I would certainly be of the thought that I would be paying. It wouldn't even occur to me that they would be inviting her and paying for the whole thing.

I guess I run with the wrong crowd.

 

[ilovemk76]

We have an only child, DD14.

We have gone twice to Disney and taken a friend along.

My question is, what should the friend ('s parents) be expected to pay?

Seems like the kids we want to take the most, have no hope of contributing, and the ones with money... well...

But we can't afford to pay somebody else's way, really, it's already such a stretch.

Thoughts?

First time we paid it all, because the kid had no hope of probably ever going any other way, given her situation. Felt good, but hurt the pocketbook hard.

Second time we had free DDP, so we just asked (different) DDF to pay the flight and park ticket ($550). We ended up paying for flight change, Park hopper upgrade, water park ticket, and various other random things that came up. I think the $550 was a big deal for her parents as it was though, although they were very happy we were taking their kid to Disney.

So, we hope to go in October 2012... maybe bring a friend? What do you think... what's fair to ask for in terms of dollars? I was looking buying or renting DVC for it so we wouldn't have free DDP so food is back on the table... makes it more complex than DDP "order watever you like" that worked so well with a guest friend... maybe we should get DDP for that reason?

You are inviting the friend so you DD has a "playmate". You invite; you pay.

 

[Kitzka]

When we hahve gone on trips we go by the if we invite we pay rule of thumb. Our DD is an only child and we normally take a child with us on one trip a year.

Lara

 

[tlh0726]

this topic/question has been asked several times in the past.
Going to get interesting!




I agree with the you invite you pay posters.

adding to post
Only thing that I would expect the other parents to provide is money for souvenirs.

 

[jgates]

I'm in the minority here too - I would be discussing with the parents & saying it will cost $XX. If it goes over - that is my fault.

Prime example is DDs boyfriend. He is going with us for her graduation trip. I flat out said I cannot afford more than myself & you (to DD). If she wants him to come with it will have to be paid for by him. I told him I would pay the extra person fee in the room & I would pay for 2 TS meals as he would be happy with CS (or skipping meals entirely LOL).

I have worked hard on keeping the cost down for both him and us. I changed by one day on flights which saved him $100 on airfare & us $400 on airfare (using a voucher) and actually got us one more full day of vacation (it did cost me one more hotel night).

Our family does not have the cash to take another whole body with - however there are friends that would like to go but the rest of the family has no interest, etc. In that case those families might be happy to pay.

 

[pfp258]

When we invite we pay. Why would you invite someone unless you wanted someone for your child to pal around with? You would benefit from your child having company on the trip hence the invitation. (Otherwise you could invite the whole neighborhood on the trip "as long as they pay their own way")
Quite honestly you are putting the parents of a child in a very awkward situation. If you are not willing to pay, don't ask someone else to pay in order to keep your child happy. (And if it wouldn't make your child any happier to have a friend along then why ask in the first place.)

 

[aprilgail2]

I agree completely with this post. I would be preapred to pay all expenses if inviting a child to vacation with us. Now if the parents insisted on buying the plane ticket and or park tix, I would accept.

When we invite we pay. Why would you invite someone unless you wanted someone for your child to pal around with? You would benefit from your child having company on the trip hence the invitation. (Otherwise you could invite the whole neighborhood on the trip "as long as they pay their own way")
Quite honestly you are putting the parents of a child in a very awkward situation. If you are not willing to pay, don't ask someone else to pay in order to keep your child happy. (And if it wouldn't make your child any happier to have a friend along then why ask in the first place.)

I agree- I would never invite someone if I was not going to pay for them! I think that is very rude!

 

[cinnamon-sugah]

Both of my children are bringing a friend to the beach with us this summer. I asked the parents first and explained when we would be going and that we would cover everything except souvenirs/pocket money. THEN we asked the kids. That way, if the parents didn't want them to go for ANY reason, the kids weren't disappointed and their parents weren't in the position of being the "bad guys". This is the first time we have taken friends on a trip this long but they are both like family members so it should be great! If we couldn't pay for them, we wouldn't have asked because I would hate to put someone in an uncomfortable position. FWIW, my DD's friend also asked her to join them on their summer trip with the same deal so it will even out!

 

[disney*mom*82]

We are thinking about letting our children (dd11 and ds13) each bring along a friend for 10 nights to WDW. The thing is we dont want to ask if the parents will pay anything, other than souvie money. We are looking at staying offsite for the first time ever (since WDW has no deals right now) so this would be the first time in a long time not to have DDP, so that will be a little harder and I dont want to feel stretched or be too cheap. We havent decided what we will do yet, we will defiently have the room for extra children, and have no problem with them comming, we just have to decide if we are comfortable with the extra cost. Figuring park and water park tickets, dining, snacks, etc, it will add up pretty fast. We do drive, so that helps with that situation.

Anyways, we defiently wouldnt invite anyone unless we know we can pay for everything.

 

[Colleen27]

I guess I'm in the minority here, but any child who we would consider bringing along, we would know their parents well enough to discuss the financial aspect of the trip. I don't think it's out of line to talk to the parents and say, Hey, we're going to Disney World for a week in summer. DS asked if you're DS could come. We would be happy for him to come along and would cover (hotel, food, etc) if you could pay for or provide (airfare, park tix, etc.) for him. We've priced it out and the total would be about $x,xxx. If your family has other summer plans or you just don't want him to be gone for that long, then we completely understand.

I agree. Usually when we take a friend along on a trip we do pay, but most times the additional costs are just food and minor entertainment expenses because we've only taken friends on driving trips, to indoor waterparks, camping, ren faire, sporting events, etc. Each of my older kids has one friend that we know well enough to invite along on trips, and I know both sets of parents well enough to be comfortable sitting down and discussing the financial aspects of an invitation before the kids are even "in the loop" (so that no one is the bad guy if the money isn't there or the trip just isn't agreeable for whatever reason).

 

[DAPford]

I agree with the you invite you pay idea we took my DD friend to the beach for a week last year and we paid but we camp so really the expense was minimal cause we were going anyway and really just needed extra food so it was fine . As for Disney even though I have an only DD taking a friend is not something we would think of doing on that kind of trip because we like using that time as just spending it as a family no cell phones no friends just the 3 of us.

 

[lastminutemom]

I agree with the you invite you pay idea we took my DD friend to the beach for a week last year and we paid but we camp so really the expense was minimal cause we were going anyway and really just needed extra food so it was fine . As for Disney even though I have an only DD taking a friend is not something we would think of doing on that kind of trip because we like using that time as just spending it as a family no cell phones no friends just the 3 of us.

Maybe Disney isn't the right kind of place to take a friend, if you can't afford the extra. Perhaps changing up the vacation and heading to a beach, the mountains, somewhere else where the extra person doesn't add so many expenses.

 

[TangaroaTiki]

Another vote for if you invite you pay..... YOU benefit by having the extra child along to keep YOUR child happy.

 

[Darcy03231]

I'm in the you invite, you pay category too. We've taken extra kids along with us to the beach, mountains, stuff around town, WDW, cruises and all-inclusive resorts. All we've expected the children to come with is souvenir money. I will say most of the parents have volunteered to help with the expenses.

 

[LMCT88]

I would also agree, if your inviting them then I would expect to pay for the trip. (me personally would call and ask what I can pay for, plane fare etc.), but unfortunately some people don't. We have taken many a friends on vacations when my kids were younger, and paid for it. I looked at it this way it, was worth it as my children enjoyed having there friends there with them to enjoy the trip, and it also gave my husband and I a break from having to entertain them.

 

[OrangeCountyCommuter]

So, we hope to go in October 2012... maybe bring a friend? What do you think... what's fair to ask for in terms of dollars? I was looking buying or renting DVC for it so we wouldn't have free DDP so food is back on the table... makes it more complex than DDP "order watever you like" that worked so well with a guest friend... maybe we should get DDP for that reason?

1. You never had "free" DDP. What you had was a package that gave you a discount. Since Disney has WAY overpriced those rooms I am not sure the "free" DDP is worth it.. Remember "free" does not make Disney money. Disney would not do this if they weren't making money by the boat load!

2. You can BUY the DDP with the DVC rental. And it's still probably going to be less then the Disney "room" rate

 

[momto2girls]

If I were inviting a child along for a vacation, I wouldn't extend the invitation unless I were planning to pay for the child to come along. Now, if someone invited my child, I would insist on paying for many of the costs (airfare, tickets, food, souvenir money, etc.), but I wouldn't extend an invite myself unless I was prepared to pay all costs. If the other parents wanted to chip in, I would certainly be okay with them doing so, but I personally would never ask or expect it.

 

[pigletto]

In most circumstances I would pay all (with the exception of souvie money) if inviting a friend of one of my kids.
However I can see other scenarios. If you knew the parents and could talk to them openly about it I don't see why other arrangements couldn't be made.
I have friends that would instantly offer to pay for the plane ticket or buy their childs ticket and I would cover lodging and food. I also have friends that it would be a giant stretch for them to come up with it and I wouldn't mention a trip unless I could cover the entire cost for the friend.

Overall though.. I think it will be a LONG time before we invite friends on vacation. We go to spend time as a family, and I worry too much that the kids would get sick of eachother and argue, and that would put a huge damper on my vacation.
Smaller trips no problem, but likely not Disney.

 

[scrapquitler]

I'm a little conflicted about this. I feel a double standard:

If I were inviting someone to go with us, I would plan to pay for the child's expenses (though I would expect she/he would have some spending money)

On the other hand, if someone invited my child, I would insist on paying, at least SOME of the expense.

 

[tipsytrtle]

we have a only child aged 17. this year she is bringing a friend for the first time

while the friends family may seem to have more than us on the outside of it, they also have 4 children, one of which is in college and one grandchild.....
so we asked if they would pay the airfare then we covered the rest....

i see it as a the polite thing to do considering we did the inviting and also a small price to pay to keep the possibility of a teen mood swing or meltdown to a minimum!!!