Invited my daughter's friend...who pays?

[ILuvDisney!]

Well, I probably should have thought about this a bit more before I mentioned it to my friend about her daughter joining us an a trip to WDW. She's 9 and they are very good friends of ours. But, $$ hasn't been discussed. I think she is assuming that we are paying for everything (flight, park tickets and food).

If I were allowing my daughter to go w/ them, I wouldn't have even considered letting them pay.

Right now, I'm waiting to hear back from her about missing school days. It's a possiblility that she can't miss that week.

How do I bring it up if she can go? I would be willing to cover some of the expenses...but I don't think I should pay for all of it.

 

[kevschickee]

IMO since you invited her you should pay. If she offers money you can take it but I wouldn't be able to ask but that is just me.

 

[GEM]

I may be in the minority here, but, honestly....I wouldn't invite another child along on a family trip with us unless I was willing and able to pick up the whole tab.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

Well, I probably should have thought about this a bit more before I mentioned it to my friend about her daughter joining us an a trip to WDW. She's 9 and they are very good friends of ours. But, $$ hasn't been discussed. I think she is assuming that we are paying for everything (flight, park tickets and food).

If I were allowing my daughter to go w/ them, I wouldn't have even considered letting them pay.

Right now, I'm waiting to hear back from her about missing school days. It's a possiblility that she can't miss that week.

How do I bring it up if she can go? I would be willing to cover some of the expenses...but I don't think I should pay for all of it.

You invited her - therefore you are the host. You pay.

 

[littlbugmom]

We invited my niece to come with us. Because we invited her, I didn't expect my sister to pay for anything. I told her this in the very beginning because I didn't want to put her in an uncomfortable position. She gave my niece spending money but we paid for everything else.


But if a friend invited my child, I wouldn't expect them to pay her way.
I would assume they expected us to pay for all of our child's expenses.


If you didn't intend to pay for your friend's daughter, you should have opened the conversation with what you were able to pay for. Since the situation has gone past that, I would first make sure the child isn't told anything about the possibility of going until the adults have ironed out the details. At this point, I think you should just level with your friend. Bite the bullet and start the conversation.

 

[flea1267]

When our kids take friends we pay for everything expect their souveniers. You asked them to go so like others said you're the host, it's like inviting someone over to dinner and expecting them to pay you for it - just my opinion.

 

[mjkacmom]

This is a tough one. If she didn't ask how much it was going to cost, she probably assumes you are paying. In my case, if someone wanted to take one of my children, I don't have that much money in my budget to pay for one child to go on vacation with another family. Do the girls know about the invitation?

 

[pixiewings71]

When we took our girls' friends we asked the parents to send money for souvies and tickets, they also sent money for food and they actually prepurchased tickets. They told us to keep all that they sent but we didn't, we gave them change. We paid for gas (we drive), the hotel and we gave each girl pins for trading, they did buy their own lanyards but we had the intention of paying for their lanyards as well, it just turned out that they really wanted to buy them instead.
Anyway, when we first invited the girls we let the parents know that we would like them to buy the girls' tickets and send a little cash for souvies but we would cover the rest. I think you should talk with her Mom asap, because what if they can't afford plane tickets? I would want to know right away what I need to pay for so I could decide if we could let our kids go. kwim?

 

[3doodlebugsmom]

How do I bring it up if she can go? I would be willing to cover some of the expenses...but I don't think I should pay for all of it.

Why did you invite her if you are not willing to pay? If you invite a 9 yr old to go with your family I think you have to assume you will be footing the bill, especially since you didn't talk about expenses from the get go.


If your taking a friend so your DD will have a playmate then you really should be paying.

 

[MusiqChic99]

I think you should pay since you invited her to go. Otherwise you should have said when you invited her, if the mother thought they could afford to let her go. I would assume you were paying as well.

I'm sure the mother would send spending money with her daughter but I'm sure she thinks you will pay....as you should.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

If I was the other parent I definetely would assume that you were paying for everything except souveniers. I hope for the childs sake if she can go, that you can work it out and pay for her.

 

[ILuvDisney!]

Great news! Just got off the phone w/ the Mom and all is well. She wanted to know how much money we will need for her entire trip. I gave her an idea on what things would cost and told her that we would be taking care food, hotel, halloween party ticket, water park ticket and souvies. And, she said they wouldn't allow us to pay for all that. I insisted since she wants to pay for the airfare and park tickets. So, now we can start planning our trip w/ her! My daughter is going to be so excited!!!

I do agree...we invited her so we should pay if need be. And, we have in the past. She's been on 2 snow skiing trips with us and we didn't take a penny from them when it was offered. Many weekend trips too...but, I think they realize what a terrible year it has been for our business.

 

[crisi]

We extend the invitation with the terms. So if we are providing everything, we say that. If we want them to buy tickets and airfare, we say that...

"We'd like to take Maddy to Disney with us. We'd be picking up the room, food and park tickets, but we'd like you to take care of airfare and her spending money...."

I don't think it needs to be a "you invite, you pay" - but if you haven't specified, the default is the host pays.

 

[mybabesuz]

When I invited my son's friend to come, I said right up front that they had to pay for their park ticket and airfare.
I paid for the room and food...
I would mention it now if you want them to pay for some it.

 

[tadamom]

Glad things worked out and all is well with everyone!

 

[figment3258]

Great to hear that everything has worked out for you. When i was younger my mom allowed me to invite a friend and my mom only asked that she pay for her air and spending money. Once everyone agreed my mom bought her air ticket and then she and her mom started to give my mom the run around with payments for the ticket. needless to say my mom had to eat the ticket and I learned to keep it just to family if my kids ever ant to bring a friend.

 

[solar]

Glad you talked and worked out what will work for both of you.

I put out an invitation to my son's friend, but because it was me doing the inviting, I explained what and what I wouldn't pay for up front...I intend to pay since I invited.

Basically - I'll cover EVERYTHING except souvies...and made that information available up front. So he'll need spending money if he wants to buy something at a store, etc, but the rest I'll take care of. (lodging/food/transportation/tickets)

 

[bgohre]

We extend the invitation with the terms. So if we are providing everything, we say that. If we want them to buy tickets and airfare, we say that...

"We'd like to take Maddy to Disney with us. We'd be picking up the room, food and park tickets, but we'd like you to take care of airfare and her spending money...."

I don't think it needs to be a "you invite, you pay" - but if you haven't specified, the default is the host pays.

Couldn't have put it better.

 

[Darcy03231]

Whenever I've invited, I've paid.

 

[disney.nut]

My daughters always brings her friend with us and we pay for everything.