Invited friends over Christmas day and in-laws are upset

[3PrezGirls]

We have hosted Christmas brunch for 3 years (this being our 4th). It's our family of six and my MIL and FIL. This year I was talking to a friend who said they are staying home so I invited them over for brunch, they are also a family of 6. I am not asking my inlaws to bring anything over between myself and my friend we have the entire brunch covered. I understand my inlaws want to spend the day with us, but it's my house shouldn't I be able to invite who I want over and enjoy the day my way. Plus I know my girls will be happy to play with their friends as well.

Thoughts? Does anyone else have friends AND family over?

 

[burberryplaid]

Your house...your party! I think your in-laws need to get over it. It is Christmas after all!

 

[kaywoody]

First of all.... I LOVE your girl's names. I read them to my husband and he said we could always change our girl's names!

I say invite who you want!

 

[Belle5]

Is this the only day that your parents get to spend with your family?

If not, I think your in-laws are extremely immature and selfish. They sound very controlling!

Once you are married and have your own home (and they aren't paying your bills) you invite who you want and when you want to invite them.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

We have hosted Christmas brunch for 3 years (this being our 4th). It's our family of six and my MIL and FIL. This year I was talking to a friend who said they are staying home so I invited them over for brunch, they are also a family of 6. I am not asking my inlaws to bring anything over between myself and my friend we have the entire brunch covered. I understand my inlaws want to spend the day with us, but it's my house shouldn't I be able to invite who I want over and enjoy the day my way. Plus I know my girls will be happy to play with their friends as well.

Thoughts? Does anyone else have friends AND family over?

I think it is your house, you invite who you want, but I also can feel your your IL's if this is the only time they area spending with their grandchildren on Christmas. I can see where it would be upsetting.

 

[clh2]

I can see where your IL's are coming from. They are going from being the "guests of honor" to now feeling like the fifth wheel. They are going to be very outnumbered.

Instead of the inlaws spending some fun time with their grandkids - they'll be playing with the other guests that are over.

My sister, who hosted thanksgiving, invited over a friend of hers and due to a number of odd situations - (sister and BIL are just about ready to file for divorce) it was awkward.

Yes - it is your house and you can invite anyone you want. Please keep in mind - your inlaws are feeling slighted.

 

[maddiesmom0116]

We have hosted Christmas brunch for 3 years (this being our 4th). It's our family of six and my MIL and FIL. This year I was talking to a friend who said they are staying home so I invited them over for brunch, they are also a family of 6. I am not asking my inlaws to bring anything over between myself and my friend we have the entire brunch covered. I understand my inlaws want to spend the day with us, but it's my house shouldn't I be able to invite who I want over and enjoy the day my way. Plus I know my girls will be happy to play with their friends as well.

Thoughts? Does anyone else have friends AND family over?

I am so sorry, the pressures that come with the holidays can be overbearing at times. I have at times for various reasons had friends come over for x-mas and my family has neverminded. My nephew is bringing a friend of his this year who has no family and is getting ready to ship out to the middle east in a few weeks. My whole family is trying to give him a good christmas and including him in all the family traditions.

I am sorry your inlaws are having an issue, it is your house though and I would nicely remind them of the generous nature of the holiday such as sharing, kindness and love.

 

[3PrezGirls]

They live very close as a matter of fact we saw them last weekend. Of course if we didn't see them that often I wouldn't invite anyone else over. I just wanted to see what others thoughts. The friends of ours are neighbors and are like family. We spend weekends together and our children are the same ages so it makes it so nice.

 

[3PrezGirls]

First of all.... I LOVE your girl's names. I read them to my husband and he said we could always change our girl's names!

I say invite who you want!

Thanks!!

 

[3PrezGirls]

I can see where your IL's are coming from. They are going from being the "guests of honor" to now feeling like the fifth wheel. They are going to be very outnumbered.

Instead of the inlaws spending some fun time with their grandkids - they'll be playing with the other guests that are over.

My sister, who hosted thanksgiving, invited over a friend of hers and due to a number of odd situations - (sister and BIL are just about ready to file for divorce) it was awkward.

Yes - it is your house and you can invite anyone you want. Please keep in mind - your inlaws are feeling slighted.

Thank you, this is what my husband said and hearing it from someone else makes sense (don't tell him I said that )

We are hoping they only stay a couple of hours, come to eat, have a few drinks and go home so their baby can take a nap.

 

[luvthemouse71]

Trust me, I have certain friends that are more like family to me than some of my blood relations. I think your in laws need to get over it.

Your house, your decision.

 

[luvmy3]

If it were me I would invite the friends over another time, or later because I would want my ILs to be able to spend a little bit of Christmas with their grandchildren. When we have friends over the kids disappear and hardly spend any time with the adults. That being said, I think its possible for your ILs to be mature about it enjoy whatever time they spend with you guys.

 

[mrsklamc]

Some people are very traditional and like to spend holidays with just family. At the same time, IL's should be mature enough to deal.

 

[JillandFamily]

I say the more the Merrier! Actually this situation happened this Thanksgiving with us. SIL had everyone over for dinner and invited a couple to join in the day with us. We had fun. Nice to share the holidays with the people we enjoy.

 

[cm8]

We have hosted Christmas brunch for 3 years (this being our 4th). It's our family of six and my MIL and FIL. This year I was talking to a friend who said they are staying home so I invited them over for brunch, they are also a family of 6. I am not asking my inlaws to bring anything over between myself and my friend we have the entire brunch covered. I understand my inlaws want to spend the day with us, but it's my house shouldn't I be able to invite who I want over and enjoy the day my way. Plus I know my girls will be happy to play with their friends as well.

Thoughts? Does anyone else have friends AND family over?

well, they could just stay home. Have fun and don't let them ruin it for you and your friends family.

 

[EllenFrasier]

I doubt that your friends will spend the whole day at your house. Their children are going to want to get back home to play with their new toys and they'll probably be tired. Then your IL's can enjoy their grandkids without interruption. I do understand why they would be upset though as you are adding quite a few more kids to the mix.

 

[usnuzuloose]

Well I can tell you we have been the ones invited and then after a few times I found out that the MIL was upset. I now refuse to go and I am not one to cause problems. But it did feel akward that this person would speak kind to us but all the while did not want us there. I felt weird.

 

[PrincessBelle09]

My in-laws are actually very open to having anyone over any time, holiday or not. My father-in-law is a pastor, so they always have the door to their home open. My parents are not this way. They usually only want immediate family around for holidays. Some people are just uptight about gathering that they believe should be family only. It has taken me some time to get used to how my in-laws do things, but if it is their house, they can invite whoever they choose! Of course, once it was my apartment and they invited themselves and a few extra people for a holiday, which I did not particularly appreciate, but that's a different story...

 

[DrMomof3]

I guess every family is different.
I grew up in a house where we were always inviting over "extra" people for all the holidays. It was common to have 20+ for Thanksgiving dinner and about that for Christmas dinner. We would have family-only time Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. After lunchtime on Christmas anyone and everyone was welcome to "stop by" for treats and snacks. We loved having our friends come by. I'm from New York and many of my childhood friends are Jewish so they loved coming by for some Christmas fun. Christmas dinner was a more formal sit-down event but we always had at least one extra family, not to mention relatives. I'm one of 5 kids so we loved the chaos!
My in-laws are totally not like that. They rarely socialized with other families and I doubt they ever had guests for any holidays (my DH is Jewish so we celebrate the Jewish holidays with his family and Christmas with my family). I could see them being uncomfortable if we invited lots of friends over for one of the Jewish holidays, even though my MIL lives about 10 minutes away.
Maybe you can arrange to have some family-only time (like when your friends go home for naptime) so your in-laws feel more comfortable?

Amanda

 

[shellyfive]

I usually invite extra people over to buffer me from the IL's

Btw, really neat that you named your girls after presidents!!!!!
All our kids have "mechanics" to their names too (mostly my dh doing!!!)

Enjoy your house party!!!