Introducing...."DubyaLand!"

[mickeysgal]

Tycoon Lagoon: Sponsored by Dubya's oil barron buddies both here and abroad. Attractions include: Crush 'N Gusher - families board a boat designed as a gas-guzzling SUV as it travels an up and down a course showing simulated scenes of various oil pipelines either shut down or breaking down as ride guests empty their wallets simultaneously to rising gas and oil prices. The Lazy, Hazy River - Grab a raft and drift along on this river filled with gallons of black oil representing the vast supply of U.S. oil reserves. No splashing, please. We need every drop. Summitt Plummet - Take a hair-raising plunge down this slide. Your clocked speed simulates the ever so quick spikes in oil prices per barrel on the stock exchange. Don't forget to buy your sovenier photo.

 

[mickeysgal]

Hall of Presidents and those that Wantabe -
Introducing our latest addition - Dick Cheney. He is the real president, isn't he?

 

[disneyfan67]

JOHN KERRY'S JUNGLE CRUISE take a swift boat ride through the rivers of Cambodia, or was it Laos? Only operating during Christmas season.

Afterwhich you can enjoy a liquid lunch at the Teri Shiavo counter service, where a judge removes your feeding tube.

HA HA

Just don't make the same mistake John did on the ride's maiden voyage. He kept refering to it as "Nixon's dirty little war" in the Christmas of 1968.

When he got off the ride a real smart CM had to remind him that LBJ was still President and Nixon wasn't sworn into office in January 1969. John Kerry wasn't too happy with the CM correcting him and went to see the manager and complained.

The manager gave him two free passes (just to get rid of him) to the new themed buffet that had just opened. It was named after our country's 37th President, Richard Nixon. It's called "Chef Dickies" and all the servers wear real creepy looking Nixon masks.

 

[BunsenH]

Intelligent Design - The Ride (Replaces Dinosaur)

You board golden chariots and travel through complete darkness. At the very end, there is a scene with all God's creature peacefully coexisting.

 

[barbeml]

Countdown To Extinction
(In honor of Dinosaur's original and better incarnation)

A heartwarming look at species that have vanished from the planet!
More added every day!
Check out the giant countdown clock to see how close we are to our goal: the day when only "right-minded folks" walk the earth!

 

[goofygirl]

LOL!! this thread is a riot!!

How about in the World Showcase- MEXICO , complete with border patrol and illegals running across the border!

 

[Mugg Mann]

Heard about the new raft water ride in Dubyaland?

You get on board a circular raft that sets out over a slow, lazy river. Your hostess, an attractive blonde who only wears dark cocktail dresses regardless of the hour of the day, points out some of the sights as you go along. As the ride progresses, the hostess, like the water the raft floats upon, gets more and more agitated. Soon you're being tossed and turned about while massive waves of water pours in from everywhere and overwhelms you. Your raft hostess suddenly starts blaming all the incoming water on the rocks on the left side, and never the rocks on the right side. She gets more and more crazed about it until the ride, mercifully, comes to an end.

Congratulations! You've just ridden Coulter River Rapids!

 

[barbeml]

Congratulations! You've just ridden Coulter River Rapids!

Who wants to ride THAT...yuck!

 

[eclectics]

Heard about the new raft water ride in Dubyaland?

You get on board a circular raft that sets out over a slow, lazy river. Your hostess, an attractive blonde who only wears dark cocktail dresses regardless of the hour of the day, points out some of the sights as you go along. As the ride progresses, the hostess, like the water the raft floats upon, gets more and more agitated. Soon you're being tossed and turned about while massive waves of water pours in from everywhere and overwhelms you. Your raft hostess suddenly starts blaming all the incoming water on the rocks on the left side, and never the rocks on the right side. She gets more and more crazed about it until the ride, mercifully, comes to an end.

Congratulations! You've just ridden Coulter River Rapids!

And if you don't purchase an autographed guide book by the hostess, you must ride again and again, until you do.

 

[Mugg Mann]

Who wants to ride THAT...yuck!

Well, someone must...she keeps popping up on every videoscreen in Dubyaland!

 

[nuke]

The Un-American Adventure:

Strap yourselves in for a rousing turn on the studio stage. You will be in the spotlight while the neo-con of the day throws out questions. Think quick and carefully choose your answer. If you don't agree with the host, you may be ejected from America or worse tried for treason and executed!

 

[BunsenH]

El Rio del Malos Tempers -

Spend the entire ride listening to heated rhetoric regarding immigration from opposite banks of the 'rio'. Make it to the end before the wall is built.

 

[barbeml]

El Rio del Malos Tempers -

Spend the entire ride listening to heated rhetoric regarding immigration from opposite banks of the 'rio'. Make it to the end before the wall is built.

Good one!!

 

[Mugg Mann]

The Enchanted Robert Byrds

-One of Dubyaland's oldest attractions, it has been dwindling in popularity over the years until a recent renovation removed the white hoods from the audio-animatronic characters in order to reflect current popular taste.

 

[disneyfan67]

The Un-American Adventure:

Strap yourselves in for a rousing turn on the studio stage. You will be in the spotlight while the neo-con of the day throws out questions. Think quick and carefully choose your answer. If you don't agree with the host, you may be ejected from America or worse tried for treason and executed!

I was there for my last vacation and was in the audience for at least 5 showings. It's not the host who decides your fate, it's the studio audience, silly. They managed to bring back Richard Dawson from the old Family Fued show and he's now the host

On that day I saw 3 libs get expelled from the country and sent to Cuba. The other 6 were punished quite harshly, I'm afraid. If you try and quote Paul Krugman, Bob Herbert, Sean Penn, or Barbra Streisand, then you hear and see the sign that says Traitor!

You are then strapped into a type of sled that rockets you down a tube into a big underground area and then you have to run for your life. You hear the Neo- Cons chants of Run Liberal, Run Traitor, Run! You have men in GWB and Cheney masks chase you around trying to do bodily harm to you. If you manage to get to the end of the course alive, then you are given a one way ticket to sunny North Korea. There you get to sample the famous "Workers Paradise" up close and in person. You might even get to work at the DMZ as a guard! WOW! That would be so cool!

This ride at Dubya land has gotten so popular that Steven King is writing a book about it, under the name of Richard Bachman and a major motion picture is in the works. They all ready have hired Richard Dawson as the host and are looking for a muscle bound star who can't act or speak english very well. I wonder what the're going to call it? Maybe something to do with running?

 

[barbeml]

Just came across this wonderful thread while searching for something else.

It certainly deserves another look...and with all the latest material for inspiration, I look forward to additional hysterics.

 

[Saxsoon]

You just had to revive this dinosaur.

 

[ConcKahuna]

You just had to revive this dinosaur.

I'm happy, I somehow missed it!!

 

[eclectics]

Wow! Can't believe this thread was started almost a year ago. Time flies......when you're old .

 

[BunsenH]

The DUBYA - Amtrak's new high speed COMMUTER rail. The fast track for felons to get from jail to a lucrative, cushy job at one of several (don't)think tanks.