(Inspired) I Can't Believe They Did That-Inlaw Stories

[SleepyMom]

MIL is gone now, but there were lots of things over the years that just made me shake my head and wonder. Christmas was a big one, she insisted the entire family be there every year. And every year something happened to make it miserable or uncomfortable.

Nearly every year she would post a list on her fridge of the gifts she wanted, she would cut pictures out of ads or magazines to show us so that we didn't get the wrong thing. She circled the ones she really wanted.

She also would go to the stores uptown (they lived in a very small town) and have them put things on hold that she would pick out and tell the cashier if one of her kids came in to tell them that was what she wanted. Sounds like a good idea, except if you got the pre-picked item she still wasn't happy about it BIL one year got a watch that she had the store set aside for her and when she opened it she said who would ever wear that. He reminded her she picked it out and she answered back that she never thought anyone would actually get it. Well, then why did you pick it out????

MIL also had a necklace she wore that had a charm for every grandchild with their birthdate and name. After DH and I had our son she added his charm, then we had DD and she added her charm, my oldest DD (from my 1st marriage) felt bad that she was the only grandchild left out so I suggested to DD that she get a charm and give it to MIL for Christmas the next year. MIL opened the charm, looked DD right in the face and said "oh, I never thought of you that way". DD was so hurt. I stupidly thought it was going to be a nice moment and video taped the entire thing.

 

[mickeysgal]

MIL is gone now, but there were lots of things over the years that just made me shake my head and wonder. Christmas was a big one, she insisted the entire family be there every year. And every year something happened to make it miserable or uncomfortable.

Nearly every year she would post a list on her fridge of the gifts she wanted, she would cut pictures out of ads or magazines to show us so that we didn't get the wrong thing. She circled the ones she really wanted.

She also would go to the stores uptown (they lived in a very small town) and have them put things on hold that she would pick out and tell the cashier if one of her kids came in to tell them that was what she wanted. Sounds like a good idea, except if you got the pre-picked item she still wasn't happy about it BIL one year got a watch that she had the store set aside for her and when she opened it she said who would ever wear that. He reminded her she picked it out and she answered back that she never thought anyone would actually get it. Well, then why did you pick it out????

MIL also had a necklace she wore that had a charm for every grandchild with their birthdate and name. After DH and I had our son she added his charm, then we had DD and she added her charm, my oldest DD (from my 1st marriage) felt bad that she was the only grandchild left out so I suggested to DD that she get a charm and give it to MIL for Christmas the next year. MIL opened the charm, looked DD right in the face and said "oh, I never thought of you that way". DD was so hurt. I stupidly thought it was going to be a nice moment and video taped the entire thing.

Since she's so appreciative of Christmas gifts, make her a copy of the video in which she humiliated your DD. That should be her next Christmas gift. Think of all the warmth and love in the room as you all gather 'round and watch that tidbit.

 

[ZachnElli]

Boy she sure wanted to cause a problem between your BIL and SIL, didn't she?

And you wonder why so many people end up in therapy and/or taking medication. Look at the stuff people have to put up with!

These stories are incredible. These type of people emit so much negative energy, its toxic to anyone around them. But think about all the people who continue to put up with it day in and day out. At some point you have to realize that its ok, if not necessary, to separate yourself from such stuff for your own sanity and your children's well-being. Sheesh!!

Well, my bil handled it kinda funny. My mil described this woman as a hippee type in a broke down VW traveling cross country with her child on Christmas. So he said he was offended that his mom thought that was his type at all! LOL! My mil said and did so many things on Christmas, she was at her all time worst behavior. My sil got the full brunt of her, I felt so bad! If you saw the talking behind people's back thread, this is what my dear sil and I talk about! We can't help it!

 

[RUDisney]

Christmas seems to bring out the best in people, doesn't it? When my parents were first married, I think their second Christmas together, my GM, Mom's MIL, passed out presents to all of the women and got to my mother and said, "oh, so sorry, I must have forgotten to get you something." Everyone got keychains, because that was what they could afford. It wouldn't have been so bad, accidents happen even with the best of planning. But, this came after my Dad's sisters had told her that they wished he had married one of his other girl friends and after, when they announced that they were expecting me, my GM told them that she raised her kids, so they shouldn't plan on any free baby sitting from her.

Luckily, my Dad had a wonderful MIL, who more than made up for that ignorant boor.

 

[carone0318]

Loved reading all the ILs stories. I can relate to a few of them. I have been married to dh for 11 years and we have been together for 16. We met in college. MIL used the whole "hanging his tuition over his head routine" and I wasn't allowed over there house for whatever reason (can't even remember now). Lots of stuff, I sort of chalked it up to being that I was dating the first born and no matter who it was it would happen to them, it wasn't just me. I was setting the way for the 2 other boys coming down the pipeline (dh is 1 of 3 boys).

Well I can say that I sit here and have a big grin on my face. Paybacks are great. I still will hear the comments here and there about stupid stuff. She really doesn't say anything to me because I'll say something back. My motto is "my own mother doesn't talk to me like that, I'll be darned if she is going to." It really puts thing into perspective.

Anyway, the reason why I am smiling these days! Dh's middle brother is now married and I thought at first great, she's perfect everything MIL would want in a DIL. I can continue to be the outcast - no big deal, sort of used to it. Well, just the other week Dh's family was taking the youngest brother out for a celebration. A few weeks before they had asked about dates. We said that we could do this one date but if they chose the other date only dh and ds could come because our dd was competing in a gymnastics competition. Well they ended up choosing the date that only the boys could go because the middle brother can only make it that date and MIL wanted all both brothers to be there (understandable). Well MIL finds out the reason that they couldn't make it the other date and she is not happy (it has to do with some lame reason on BIL's wife's family). My MIL sends me an email and I have it documented that it says that she would rather have me at this dinner and not the other DIL. Sweet revenge!

Let me just note though that I do very special things for my MIL that she wouldn't be able to experience if it weren't for me and my thoughtfulness. First she has unlimited access to her grandchildren. Can basically see them and do things with them when she wants. Another biggie, my dd is her first grandchild and granddaughter, when she was in 2nd grade, I invited my MIL and my mother to go shopping with us to pick out her Communion dress. Something this lady never did because she never had a daughter. I try to include her in these types of things because she never had a daughter.

I think that she is just starting to appreciate me (with all of my flaws), it's taken a few years, but it's happening. Believe me though she will still say stupid stuff - that's a given!

 

[simpilotswife]

Oh you didn't keep quiet after that one, did you? I would have turned it right around on her.

No. My DH had just had a triple bypass and I literally had no words. I just got up and walked away.

 

[lisajl]

I don't like my IL's and they don't like me. We just tolerate each other.
She thinks I hog her son...we've been married for almost 22 years...have a DD that is 20 and two sons that are almost 12 and almost 9.

For years they bugged us about having a boy to carry on the "NAME".
I finally said..."Geez..we're trying but it is just not working!"
That shut them up for a while. We told SIL about some problems in our marriage so my MIL bought us Leopard print sheets...Can you imagine?

When we were dating my future MIL would look around and tell my Future DH that "That girl is much prettier, look at her."
Stuff like that...all these years...
When she had her heart sugery in Cleveland, we live in Ohio, they live in MI, I told my DH and oldest DD to go to Cleveland Clinic and be there for her and his dad.
She called me to thank me for letting them come see her.
I told her in no uncertain terms that I do not control people and we together, thought it would be a good idea if SOME family members were there to help out.

AAAAKKKK!!! Family.....don't even get me started on my mom!
BTW for the poster whose GMIL thinks that she is having an affair.
My mom is 86, alzheimers...she told me the other day that my BIL has been having affairs for years.
Mom, unfortunately, is right. (No not with me)
I don't know how she found out, but she did!

 

[lbgraves]

No. My DH had just had a triple bypass and I literally had no words. I just got up and walked away.

OMG! I am so sorry! Why are some people just so cruel & insensitive?