Inspired by the late RSVP thread: Would you expect someone to hold a spot for you if

[wdwfan16]

I would be really pissed when I found out my child was only invited to get the most bang for her buck.

 

[cheermom1]

No- but I wouldnt' expect someone to have a "B" list of invitees for a child's birthday party.

How would you know if there was a "b" list??

I voted no.

 

[Mermaid02]

Whoops...I guess I just did a major DIS no-no then

DS's party is next weekend. It is a build a bear type thing, but they come to your house. I had to pay for the "kits" in advance. I guessed 10 kids would come so I paid for 10. At $16 a pop it isn't exactly cheap. Well I invited 12 kids and only have 7 confirmed as coming. The others declined and 2 I have not heard back from. I have no way of contacting them because they are preschool friends and i have never seen the parents. I highly doubt they will come as neither one has been at the other 3 parties for classmates. So I have 3 kits that will be wasted since I paid for them anyway....so I invited 4 kids off the B list. Normally I wouldn't do something like this, but I don't want the stuff to go to waste!

I would have saved the kits for gifts. I think it's terrible to have a list of "back up friends" that weren't good enough to make the initial "cut" but if a spot opens up they can come- that kind of stuff always comes back to bite you on the butt.

 

[cheermom1]

I would have saved the kits for gifts. I think it's terrible to have a list of "back up friends" that weren't good enough to make the initial "cut" but if a spot opens up they can come- that kind of stuff always comes back to bite you on the butt.

goodness I would have done the same thing she did invite someone who will show up and not waste the kits..this is life we can't see the future. not our fault they haven't said they will be there. goodness really it shouldn't be that big of a deal. invite others to have a little fun, I don;t get it??

 

[wdwfan16]

How would you know if there was a "b" list??

I voted no.

If your kid gets invited to a party in 5 days you know there was a "b" list and your kid was on it.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

If your kid gets invited to a party in 5 days you know there was a "b" list and your kid was on it.

You haven't met some of the parents up here. Planning - nah...

 

[cheermom1]

If your kid gets invited to a party in 5 days you know there was a "b" list and your kid was on it.

HUH? I guess I don't understand your question? I think you are saying that if someone asked one of my kids to go to a party to fill a spot that wasn't filled b/c they didn;t say they would show up, I wouldn't think of it as a big deal. I would just ask my kid if they wanted to go or not. how hard is it to say yes or no?

 

[Mermaid02]

goodness I would have done the same thing she did invite someone who will show up and not waste the kits..this is life we can't see the future. not our fault they haven't said they will be there. goodness really it shouldn't be that big of a deal. invite others to have a little fun, I don;t get it??

I'm not talking about the rsvp'ing anymore- in general I think it is in poor taste to have a "back up" guest list. Invite those you WANT at your party and if someone can't come, they can't come.

 

[puffkin]

I would have saved the kits for gifts. I think it's terrible to have a list of "back up friends" that weren't good enough to make the initial "cut" but if a spot opens up they can come- that kind of stuff always comes back to bite you on the butt.

I really don't think anyone would every know....honestly! Well, except me and DH. I originally only invited the preschool kids and two close friends. When a bunch of the preschool kids couldn't come is when I invited my cousins' kids (3 different families). If I invite one cousin's family I have to invite them all type of thing...same as with the preschool kids, if I invite one I have to invite them all. There really is no way for them to find out unless they read the DIS

ETA: I just don't want the kits to go to waste and if another kid can enjoy them, i will be thrilled. It isn't really something I can regift as it is a whole experience (the demonstrator does a whole "class" with the kids). I could care less about presents or anything like that for DS. If I had my way, it would be a no gift party as he has plenty of stuff. I just want 10 kids there to build those dumb dinos!

 

[cheermom1]

I'm not talking about the rsvp'ing anymore- in general I think it is in poor taste to have a "back up" guest list. Invite those you WANT at your party and if someone can't come, they can't come.

well that is fine then don;t do it. but that doesn't mean that people who do is wrong either.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

HUH? I guess I don't understand your question? I think you are saying that if someone asked one of my kids to go to a party to fill a spot that wasn't filled b/c they didn;t say they would show up, I wouldn't think of it as a big deal. I would just ask my kid if they wanted to go or not. how hard is it to say yes or no?

See, you need to learn to become offended at the possibility that your snowflake was not on the "A" list...

 

[Mermaid02]

I really don't think anyone would every know....honestly! Well, except me and DH. I originally only invited the preschool kids and two close friends. When a bunch of the preschool kids couldn't come is when I invited my cousins' kids (3 different families). If I invite one cousin's family I have to invite them all type of thing...same as with the preschool kids, if I invite one I have to invite them all. There really is no way for them to find out unless they read the DIS

For preschool you're probably right..... get into grade school though and the crap will hit the fan. Especially with girls!

 

[wdwfan16]

well that is fine then don;t do it. but that doesn't mean that people who do is wrong either.

To get the most bang for your buck, ie presents, makes it wrong. Have the kid stand on a chair and yell "thanks now you can all leave".

 

[Mermaid02]

To get the most bang for your buck, ie presents, makes it wrong. Have the kid stand on a chair and yell "thanks now you can all leave".

Exactly!

 

[DizBelle]

Why would it be someone else's responsiblity to not disappoint your child for something YOU failed to do? How about you get in gear and not disappoint your child in the first place by failing to rsvp as requested.

 

[cheermom1]

To get the most bang for your buck, ie presents, makes it wrong. Have the kid stand on a chair and yell "thanks now you can all leave".

No it doesn't make it wrong. besides how would you know that would be the only reason?? I mean there a lot of reasons why that would happen. like if you paid for a certain # of kids and they weren't all filled I would feel as though I paid too much not b/c I wanted more presents. besides if you invited a certain # of kids and 1 or 2 didn't make it and invite others fill that spot. you are STILL getting the same # of presents that was originally invited so no there would not be any extra gifts...

 

[MushyMushy]

Why would it be someone else's responsiblity to not disappoint your child for something YOU failed to do? How about you get in gear and not disappoint your child in the first place by failing to rsvp as requested.

Because sometimes mail is late. Because sometimes kids don't give you these things right away. Because sometimes the birthday child doesn't hand them out right away. Because sometimes life gets in the way and you're just too darn busy to think about a party that's weeks away. (FYI, I was always prompt at replying to RSVPs, but there were instances where an invite got lost in a backpack or locker... so relieved my kids' friends' parents weren't so rigid or unaccommodating!)

I'm so glad my days of birthday parties are over, but when we did the bowling parties and things of that nature, I always accounted for missed RSVPs. Also, I sure as spit wouldn't be having a party like that if adding one extra child to the list was going to send me to the poorhouse.

 

[mjkacmom]

It's not that I would expect her to hold a spot for me, but truly, if I'm hosting a party, and have yet to hear back from someone 5 days before the party, I'm not going to assume they're not coming, even if the RSVP date has passed, based on my past experience, when there's at least one RSVPing the day before. If, for whatever reason, I need a head-count, I just call.

Some people don't even have an RSVP date, some a few days before, and a handful a week before. Having had about 7 bowling parties so far, I know that you don't need a head count way ahead of time, and I think I would be surprised to learn that the RSVP date was a whole week ahead of time.

 

[NikitaZee]

I voted no. My sense of entitlement goes only so far.

 

[cheermom1]

I just had my dd 16 read the OP and she said the same thing I said too bad for the kid. life happens..