MaryAnnDVC
"Mare", DISing since '99; prefers being tagless
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2001
- Messages
- 14,950
Funny...this article was in yesterday's Providence Journal:
http://www.projo.com/yourlife/content/projo_20030123_firstimp.98e02.html
Because first impressions linger, personal polish is paramount
01/23/2003
BY LISA GUTIERREZ
Knight Ridder Newspapers
KANSAS CITY, Mo. - In the time it takes you to read this sentence, a stranger can size you up: How smart you are, how much money you make, your social status, your personality, your physical fitness.
Eight to 30 seconds.
That's all the precious time you have to make a good first impression. And forget about second chances.
"As kids we're always taught 'don't judge a book by its cover.' But unfortunately, that's human nature. We have a tendency to judge by first impresions," says image consultant Marlys K. Arnold.
"In the first 30 seconds, or even less, we're being evaluated. Often, someone has evaluated you as you've walked into a room, before you even speak."
Polishing your personal imprint is much more involved than checking for spinach between your teeth. Strangers will judge you by your clothes, facial expressions, handshake, voice. All in 30 seconds.
Tell them you exercise, and they'll think you're more confident, hard- working and intelligent than your sedentary friends. Wear your hair short and highlighted, and they'll think you're smarter than the woman with long, curly dark hair. Research bears out that these snap judgments really happen.
"What I always try to teach people is that you're not trying to create a false image," Arnold says. "But what you want to do is manage your image to send the kind that you want to be sending."
Let that image be one of confidence, counsels Ann Mah of Topeka, Kan., the past national president of the American Business Women's Association.
Mah makes a living teaching women to hone their skills in the business world, an arena where a bad first impression can be a deal breaker.
"Attitude is first on the list -- knowing who you are and being comfortable with that," Mah says. "That really shines through wherever you go. The first look that people get at you demonstrates how confident you are, or not, and your personal power. And that translates directly into competence."
Appearance matters most
Little surprise, really, that researchers contend that appearance matters most when it comes to making a strong first impression. Studies reveal that what we say and how we say it accounts for less than half of that initial impression. Most of it depends on how we look.
Like it or not, your clothes speak volumes about you, Mah says. So make sure they fit the situation, whether it's a job interview or meeting the in-laws. "At work we always say dress for the job you want, not the job you have," Mah says. "When in doubt, go more conservatively."
Are your clothes too tight? Are they wrinkled or stained? Invest in a full-length mirror to check yourself top-to-bottom before you leave home. A run in your hose, something weird going on with your hair, threads dangling -- any little detail can trip you up.
"If you're wearing big, dangly earrings, that may be all somebody notices about you," she says. "If you have some outlandish hair style, or purple streaks, that may be what they focus on."
Recruit a friend or family member -- someone you trust to be honest with you -- to critique your appearance. Ask them: What's the first thing you notice about me? What's one thing you think I should change?
Stand tall
"Apart from what you are wearing, your whole body language says so much about what you are about," Mah says. "When you are meeting people and networking . . . your whole posture should help you make an impression on people."
Think about the way you carry yourself. Do you walk tall, exuding confidence? Or do you slink through life, shoulders hunched, head bent down in a permanent navel-gazing pose? Good posture can score you big points.
Your body language affects your ability to be seen and heard, Mah says. According to speech and language experts, you'll leave a bad impression if you're playing with your hair, fidgeting, crossing your arms or using meaningless hand gestures.
Simply "taking up more space" can make a big difference for women. Don't be a shrinking violet, like the women Mah sees at business cocktail parties who stand with their hands in their pockets, trying to fade into the crowd.
Get those hands out of your pocket, Mah says, and stand confidently, feet about shoulder-width apart.
Look me in the eye
In the workplace. At church. At the grocery store. No matter where you are, looking someone in the eye is critical to making a good first impression, any image maker will tell you.
We're not talking stare-down here -- a sure way to freak out the person you just met. Just be sure to look at them more than you look away from them, Mah says.
"If you can't look me in the eye, I have a tendency to not trust you," Arnold says.
Some cultures, though, consider it impolite to look someone straight in the eye. So watch for clues from the other person. "If they look you in the eye and then glance away, you can feel comfortable doing the same thing," Arnold says.
Another face-time tip:
Perfect a pleasant look
A scowl, a sneer or a leer says nothing positive about you to strangers. Flash a smile, which researchers say can act as a magnet and draw people toward you. Don't make it one of those tight, artificial, I'm-so-scared-to-meet-you grins. Take a deep breath and relax into that smile.
But don't smile too much, a mistake women often make.
"There's an old rule that says women smile when they want to please and men smile when they are pleased," Mah says. "As women we try very hard to please other people. That's one of the things we do to try to make people feel comfortable."
A firm grip
A sure way to guarantee that someone will remember you for all the wrong reasons is to offer a wimpy handshake. A good, solid, full-palm handshake, just a couple of pumps, is the goal.
Reaching out and grabbing the other person's fingertips? Icky.
Flopping your limp, muscle-less, clammy hand in theirs? Gross.
Squeezing so hard it drops them to their knees? Give us a break.
Mah has heard it described that a handshake is like a kiss. You'll know when it's over. Practice with a friend -- the handshake, not the kissing -- until you get it right.
As you're being introduced, be sure to grab the other person's name and use it often as you speak to him or her. People like to hear the sound of their name and like to know that you paid attention during the introductions, Arnold says.
That, she says, will get you remembered for all the right reasons.
http://www.projo.com/yourlife/content/projo_20030123_firstimp.98e02.html
Because first impressions linger, personal polish is paramount
01/23/2003
BY LISA GUTIERREZ
Knight Ridder Newspapers
KANSAS CITY, Mo. - In the time it takes you to read this sentence, a stranger can size you up: How smart you are, how much money you make, your social status, your personality, your physical fitness.
Eight to 30 seconds.
That's all the precious time you have to make a good first impression. And forget about second chances.
"As kids we're always taught 'don't judge a book by its cover.' But unfortunately, that's human nature. We have a tendency to judge by first impresions," says image consultant Marlys K. Arnold.
"In the first 30 seconds, or even less, we're being evaluated. Often, someone has evaluated you as you've walked into a room, before you even speak."
Polishing your personal imprint is much more involved than checking for spinach between your teeth. Strangers will judge you by your clothes, facial expressions, handshake, voice. All in 30 seconds.
Tell them you exercise, and they'll think you're more confident, hard- working and intelligent than your sedentary friends. Wear your hair short and highlighted, and they'll think you're smarter than the woman with long, curly dark hair. Research bears out that these snap judgments really happen.
"What I always try to teach people is that you're not trying to create a false image," Arnold says. "But what you want to do is manage your image to send the kind that you want to be sending."
Let that image be one of confidence, counsels Ann Mah of Topeka, Kan., the past national president of the American Business Women's Association.
Mah makes a living teaching women to hone their skills in the business world, an arena where a bad first impression can be a deal breaker.
"Attitude is first on the list -- knowing who you are and being comfortable with that," Mah says. "That really shines through wherever you go. The first look that people get at you demonstrates how confident you are, or not, and your personal power. And that translates directly into competence."
Appearance matters most
Little surprise, really, that researchers contend that appearance matters most when it comes to making a strong first impression. Studies reveal that what we say and how we say it accounts for less than half of that initial impression. Most of it depends on how we look.
Like it or not, your clothes speak volumes about you, Mah says. So make sure they fit the situation, whether it's a job interview or meeting the in-laws. "At work we always say dress for the job you want, not the job you have," Mah says. "When in doubt, go more conservatively."
Are your clothes too tight? Are they wrinkled or stained? Invest in a full-length mirror to check yourself top-to-bottom before you leave home. A run in your hose, something weird going on with your hair, threads dangling -- any little detail can trip you up.
"If you're wearing big, dangly earrings, that may be all somebody notices about you," she says. "If you have some outlandish hair style, or purple streaks, that may be what they focus on."
Recruit a friend or family member -- someone you trust to be honest with you -- to critique your appearance. Ask them: What's the first thing you notice about me? What's one thing you think I should change?
Stand tall
"Apart from what you are wearing, your whole body language says so much about what you are about," Mah says. "When you are meeting people and networking . . . your whole posture should help you make an impression on people."
Think about the way you carry yourself. Do you walk tall, exuding confidence? Or do you slink through life, shoulders hunched, head bent down in a permanent navel-gazing pose? Good posture can score you big points.
Your body language affects your ability to be seen and heard, Mah says. According to speech and language experts, you'll leave a bad impression if you're playing with your hair, fidgeting, crossing your arms or using meaningless hand gestures.
Simply "taking up more space" can make a big difference for women. Don't be a shrinking violet, like the women Mah sees at business cocktail parties who stand with their hands in their pockets, trying to fade into the crowd.
Get those hands out of your pocket, Mah says, and stand confidently, feet about shoulder-width apart.
Look me in the eye
In the workplace. At church. At the grocery store. No matter where you are, looking someone in the eye is critical to making a good first impression, any image maker will tell you.
We're not talking stare-down here -- a sure way to freak out the person you just met. Just be sure to look at them more than you look away from them, Mah says.
"If you can't look me in the eye, I have a tendency to not trust you," Arnold says.
Some cultures, though, consider it impolite to look someone straight in the eye. So watch for clues from the other person. "If they look you in the eye and then glance away, you can feel comfortable doing the same thing," Arnold says.
Another face-time tip:
Perfect a pleasant look
A scowl, a sneer or a leer says nothing positive about you to strangers. Flash a smile, which researchers say can act as a magnet and draw people toward you. Don't make it one of those tight, artificial, I'm-so-scared-to-meet-you grins. Take a deep breath and relax into that smile.
But don't smile too much, a mistake women often make.
"There's an old rule that says women smile when they want to please and men smile when they are pleased," Mah says. "As women we try very hard to please other people. That's one of the things we do to try to make people feel comfortable."
A firm grip
A sure way to guarantee that someone will remember you for all the wrong reasons is to offer a wimpy handshake. A good, solid, full-palm handshake, just a couple of pumps, is the goal.
Reaching out and grabbing the other person's fingertips? Icky.
Flopping your limp, muscle-less, clammy hand in theirs? Gross.
Squeezing so hard it drops them to their knees? Give us a break.
Mah has heard it described that a handshake is like a kiss. You'll know when it's over. Practice with a friend -- the handshake, not the kissing -- until you get it right.
As you're being introduced, be sure to grab the other person's name and use it often as you speak to him or her. People like to hear the sound of their name and like to know that you paid attention during the introductions, Arnold says.
That, she says, will get you remembered for all the right reasons.
But I have to agree that if I were looking for a professional job (and God willing, I won't have to do that ever again 
), I would not wear it like this (long, curly) for an interview...it doesn't look "polished"... I would go shorter and straighter. However, I really don't get the highlighted bit. I had it highlighted once...it looked orange. I assume "orange hair" is not a good thing. 
