Inspired by several recent threads, Can men and women truly be just friends?

[goin2disneyagain]

After reading RIDISNEYLOVER's recent affair thread and the the single Dis'ers threads do you believe that men and women can really just be friends or is there always some sort of hidden attraction there that isn't (or maybe in some cases is) being acted on? What is your opinion?

 

[snoopy]

Sure they can.

Gay men and straight women make great friends.

 

[caitycaity]

i have lots of male friends (straight and gay, single and married) and i am married. dh has some female friends.

i don't think it's a big deal.

 

[snoopy]

BTW, in case anyone thought otherwise, I was kidding above. Well, actually, I wasn't kidding, I *do* think gay men and straight women make great friends, but I also think married straight men and women can be friends as well. As long as the friendship doesn't overshadow their marriages.

 

[helenabear]

Yep they can and nope there isn't always an attraction between two just because they are of opposite sex. Honestly the more I think about that type of thought, the more rediculous it sounds to me

Seriously though, I have male friends (straight, single, gay, married... doesn't matter) and I think it is totally possible and even natural to have happen. At least on my end, there is never a physical attraction to them on my part. Some of my male friends are my best friends in the world

 

[pkasbohm]

my opinion is that when you are younger there is usually always a hidden attraction. As you get older or more mature i think it is quite possible to be just friends. I have a lot of male friends as dh has a lot of female friends and neither of us think anything of it.

 

[missypie]

Yes, men and women can certainly be "just friends" - even if they're both straight. As for hidden attraction - I don't think so. One of my best friends is male. He's a terrific guy but I am "un" attracted to him because he chews tobacco - ick! I would hate to have to kiss him!

 

[Rajah]

I've had several men through my life who were nothing more than good friends.

A couple of them, I would have been interested in being more if I weren't already dating at the time and/or they weren't already "taken". But since one or the other of us wasn't "available", we were just friends.

Two of them, not only was I not attracted to them, the idea of being romantically involved with them was horrible to me. But I still consider/considered them to be good *friends* as friends only.

 

[disney4us2002]

Sorry but this post just reminds me of that scene in "When Harry Met Sally" where Billy Crystal gives the speech about men and women not really being able to be friends because the sex thing always gets in the way. I love that movie. Of course, in the end Harry and Sally get married. So much for being 'just' friends.

I don't have any male friends that are my friends. I work at home though so have no coworkers. Nearly all of our friends are of the 'couple' variety and while I consider both of the partners my friends I can't imagine doing anything with just the husband or calling one of the husbands on the phone just to chat.

 

[Planogirl]

I've had several male friends over the years both gay and straight. The only problem I've run into is jealousy from SO's that is a shame IMO. Neither DH or I are jealous types.

 

[FreshTressa]

I have TWO good male friends where there is no attraction...we just have mutual interests. One is getting married next weekend...we have never even flirted a wee bit, the other has girlfriend he is very infatuated with and I get to hear about her all the time.

Yes, there are such friendships.

 

[bubie2.5]

 

[oogieboogie]

yes, absolutely. When I was in college, I had several male friends and we hung out together all the time. They've even spent the night at my place on several occasions. Not once in the 5 years we were friends did sex or even relationship ever enter the picture. In fact I matchmade a couple of them with my other girl friends.

 

[CamColt]

Yep

 

[Patty3]

My DD, 24yoa, has a serious boyfriend and has many male friends that she will go out with for luch or dinner. I, however, would be very upset if my DH would go out to dinner with another female without me. I am not insecure, we have been married for 33 years, but I do not find it acceptable leaving me home to have dinner with a female friend. I have male friends at work and he has female friends at work and we go out with a group for lunch, but if he were having lunch with just a female on a regular basis, I would not be happy and would think there was something wrong with our marriage. I guess I am old fashioned.

 

[Cruisin]

Yes I think men and women can be just friends

 

[ducklite]

Several of my oldest friends (20+ years) in the world are men.

One just came out of the closet. Four others are straight.

One is recently divorced (his fault and I had no problem telling him so).

One is just too involved with his business to have time to date.

One is still living with the same woman twenty years after I met them.

The last, he's simply too self absorbed to maintain a romantic relationship, but he's a heck of a friend

Anne

 

[Pkaroch]

Some of my best friends are male, I have a lot of friends that are guys and there's no attraction issue. It's finding an acceptable guy to DATE that's an issue!

 

[goin2disneyagain]

Originally posted by Pkaroch
Some of my best friends are male, I have a lot of friends that are guys and there's no attraction issue. It's finding an acceptable guy to DATE that's an issue!

I'm having the same problem. I agree with all the posters that men and women can be just friends but I am curious to see if men see it the same way. I don't think any men have responded yet.

 

[vettechick99]

This is my best friend, Greg. Despite those hideous trunks he is wearing, he's not gay and we have our own SO's (I have my fiance and he lives with his girlfriend). We've been close since I was 17. He's helped me through my divorce, about 10 moves, college and numerous jobs and several near breakdowns. We've slept in the same bed together and talk on the phone once a week. AND he will be a bridesman in my wedding this April.