Inspired by another thread--How do you feel about parents volunteering in the classro

[MushyMushy]

I just thought of an amusing story from when I volunteered in my DD's elementary classroom. She wasn't the most "academic" kid in the world and really struggled. Teachers had complained about her lack of participation.

One day I was sitting in the back of the room. This particular teacher used this mini microphone to encourage kids to participate and would pass it around so kids could answer questions. She was going over something or other and my daughter raised her hand. I perked up and got kind of excited to see her in action!

She got her turn at the microphone, cleared her throat and said very clearly into the mic, "May I please use the restroom?"
I was so proud.

 

[TwinsinCA]

First of all -- what is the other thread? I missed it!

I'm a little surprised to read about all the anti-volunteer sentiment on this thread. The teachers at my school do not have paid classroom help of any kind. When my kids were in 2nd grade there was a para to help one particular child, but other than that they rely on parents or they are on their own. If teachers want copies made or packets put together -- they have to do that.

I have volunteered on a weekly basis since my kids started K. Depending on the needs of the teacher, I might be there an hour or all day. But I am certainly not there all day every day. When they were in the younger grades I'd help with centers and with individual kids to get through sight/spelling words. In recent years I help more grading, making copies, bulletin boards, and any number of things.

It helps me get to know their teacher, the routine of their day, their classmates, other parents, etc. And the teacher gets a few hours of busywork done that now they don't have to do. I do agree that volunteers end up being privy to information they probably shouldn't be. But most people I know know to keep their mouths shut.

I see how much teachers have to do and how little help they have to do it. I have been tempted to go in more than once a week at times. But I didn't want to overstep. If I could find a job doing this kind of thing, I'd do it. But there are no paid teacher aids in the schools near me.

 

[MiniGirl]

When my oldest started school, I was surprised by all the parent volunteers. They were everywhere -- in all the classrooms, in the lunch room, in the media center, etc. It surprised me because I don't remember ever seeing a parent at school unless it was some special occassion. I was also shocked by how many parents came and ate lunch at school with their child.

It didn't bother me. I enjoyed volunteering and was happy to do whatever needed to be done. I never encountered any disruptive volunteers in the classroom, but of course, there was seldom another volunteer when I was there. I did experience the gossip and cliques though. I don't think it was intentional. Most of the women had attended that same school when they were children, and it is hard for an outsider to walk into those relationships that have been built over a lifetime. I still did it though.

Our local school does encourage parent volunteers. The amount of volunteer hours logged is actually one thing used to grade each school at the end of the year. A school that receives a low grade is given a chance to pull that grade up. If it can't though, I believe it risks getting closed. (I'm not sure about that part. I've been out of the system for a couple of years and don't keep up with all that anymore.) Anyway, however it works, I do know volunteer hours go towards our local school continuing to be an "A" school.

 

[JennaTX]

Our district seems to be an in between.

As Room Mom, I help out with the two parties every year. We also have "parent readers" that read to the class once a week for about 20 minutes or so. We help out with field day and field trips. That is all we do in the classroom or with the kids.

I might help out with binding notebooks, putting stuff together, etc. but that is never in the classroom.

I love helping out in whatever way I can and I think it is a big help to the teachers. But I can't see having parents in the classrooms helping with reading, math, writing, etc. or putting up bulletin boards or whatever. IMO, that would be a major distraction.

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

I love to volunteer in the classroom because I want to be part of my child's day at school. A teacher spends more time with my child during the school day than I do. My children are up for 12 hours a day and 8 are spent riding the bus and school. Then the rest is spent doing homework, athletics, making dinner, showering and reading before bedtime. They are in bed by 8. I am a hands on mom. I coach whatever they are doing. It's not like I drop my kid off and leave, but I want more time with them.
I do whatever the teacher wants me to do. The school encourages parents to be part of their education. Some teachers like parents in the classroom and some do not. I really don't understand. they say that classrooms are over crowded because of budget cuts, yet teachers don't want the parents help.
Teachers need to remember that it is free help, so use it!!
I would also love a webcam so when I am at work i can just log onto their classrooms and look at them. I don't need to hear them, but I would like to see them during the day and how they are interacting in the classroom.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I love to volunteer in the classroom because I want to be part of my child's day at school. A teacher spends more time with my child during the school day than I do. My children are up for 12 hours a day and 8 are spent riding the bus and school. Then the rest is spent doing homework, athletics, making dinner, showering and reading before bedtime. They are in bed by 8. I am a hands on mom. I coach whatever they are doing. It's not like I drop my kid off and leave, but I want more time with them.
I do whatever the teacher wants me to do. The school encourages parents to be part of their education. Some teachers like parents in the classroom and some do not. I really don't understand. they say that classrooms are over crowded because of budget cuts, yet teachers don't want the parents help.
Teachers need to remember that it is free help, so use it!!
I would also love a webcam so when I am at work i can just log onto their classrooms and look at them. I don't need to hear them, but I would like to see them during the day and how they are interacting in the classroom.

OKay- I am not attacking you or trying to be rude but this is one of the many reasons I would never want parents in the classroom. I want more time during the day with my kids too but I think they need to spread their wings and learn without me there. I also think the webcam idea is a little over the top. JMHO of course. While the help may be free you are not a teacher (or at the very least their teacher) and you should not be teaching the children. I am sure you are a wonderful person but that is not why I send my kids to public school. If I wanted my children to be taught by a random parent I would homeschool. I am a very hands on Mom and I volunteer for many activities up at school (PTA events) but we do not have parents in the classroom. I love spending every minute with my children and count down until their vacations. While I would love to be a part of their school day that is not my place. School is their place. I do not belong there. I am simply a visitor. IMO parents do not belong as part of the school day. My children tell me about their day. We discuss what goes on etc. I don't feel that I need to be there and experience it with them. Sure I would love to but then what is the point of sending them? They need to be independant and learn to navigate their day without their parents. I speak with their teachers often just to let them know that they can call me if they need anything and to see how my child is coming along. I am very involved in their education and activities. However I do not smother them. They enjoy learning from other adults. To each their own but if all of a sudden there were parents in the classroom our school would have a litany of complaints and I would be joining them. YMMV.

 

[aprilgail2]

In recent years I help more grading, making copies, bulletin boards, and any number of things.

.

I think that this is totally inappropriate! Another parent should not have access to someone else's child's grade! I think that is an invasion of that child's privacy and I would have to take this issue up with the school board if it was happening in my child's school! Putting up a bulletin board is one thing...but actually grading a childs paper is not appropriate!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I think that this is totally inappropriate! Another parent should not have access to someone else's child's grade! I think that is an invasion of that child's privacy and I would have to take this issue up with the school board if it was happening in my child's school! Putting up a bulletin board is one thing...but actually grading a childs paper is not appropriate!

EXACTLY!

 

[mjkacmom]

I think that this is totally inappropriate! Another parent should not have access to someone else's child's grade! I think that is an invasion of that child's privacy and I would have to take this issue up with the school board if it was happening in my child's school! Putting up a bulletin board is one thing...but actually grading a childs paper is not appropriate!

I can't imagine parents having access to the childrens' grades!

 

[hedgehog2owl]

I think that this is totally inappropriate! Another parent should not have access to someone else's child's grade! I think that is an invasion of that child's privacy and I would have to take this issue up with the school board if it was happening in my child's school! Putting up a bulletin board is one thing...but actually grading a childs paper is not appropriate!

In fifth grade, one girl took the spelling tests home each week and her mother graded them. I always squirmed with embarrassment whenever I misspelled a word . This lady used to be my brownie leader.

 

[GJM]

At my DS old school in NJ - they didn't have parents volunteer in the classsroom, they had a room mom who did the parties.

At his school now they have parents that volunteer in the class. I would never want to be in the class during the day with my DS - I think he does better sometimes when I am not around, and it would be a distraction. I have volunteer in other areas and have gone to visit him at lunch.

I can totally understand a teacher not wanting a parent in the class. In regards to another parent grading papers, I find that totally wrong and shouldn't happen.

I want more time during the day with my kids too but I think they need to spread their wings and learn without me there. I also think the webcam idea is a little over the top.

Exactly! I didn't have a webcam when my DS was in daycare, don't need one when he is in 5th. grade!

 

[TiggerStac]

Actually the most helpful volunteers I have are the ones that will do the crappy work like copying, setting up science experiments, putting together math homelink folders, etc. I don't really need them working with students that much. Maybe giving a makeup spelling test once in awhile or something like that, but for the most part I appreciate them doing the "clerical" type tasks.

I have had parents refuse that kind of work because they want to be IN the classroom, not down the hall at the copy machine. In other words, they want to spy.

I wholeheartedly agree with you on the open door policy.

This is exactly what I help out w/out my DS 8 classroom. Putting together packets, copying, laminating, putting together the basic steps for a project the class is going to do. Last year was the first year I was able to help in classroom. His teacher had a table that was set up outside of the room and it was perfect! I had my own space and did not feel like I was interupting. If I had finished and had time to help more, she always had another project. I would wait until a transition time and pop my head in and she would give it to me.

I am very involved in PTO and the activities, school store, holiday gatherings, fundraisers, etc. this year I'm treasurer.

My middle is going to public preschool, I hope to help out this year too as I'm a SAHM now. They love the help!

 

[RF536]

DH and I both have helped out in our sons' classrooms for the past 4 years, this year I won't be able to help out. When we are there we are in our son's class room doing whatever the teacher asks us to do, and we do not spend any time with our sons. We explained to them when we started we were there to help all the kids, not to spend more time with them, so the most they do is tell us HI when we get there and Bye when we leave. While we are there we normally help the kids with their centers while the teacher works with smaller groups on reading. Mostly, the kids read to us, or we answer questions about how to do the center that kind of stuff.

 

[torinsmom]

As a parent, I see 2 types of parent volunteers. The ones that want to help and the ones that need to go out and get a job instead of hanging around the school all day because they can't let their little snowflake grow up.

The 1st type is ok by me, the 2nd need to get a life.

Flame away.

OMG, we have quite a few of these at our school! One I actually thought was an assistant when I started teaching there, because she was in her kid's classroom all day.

Or is someone is needed in the classroom maybe volunteers shouldn't be allowed in their own child's classroom.

This is what I suggested to my principal. I work with 4 and 5 year olds. It is just disruptive for little Billy's mom to come waltzing into his classroom. The kid will always run to hug them, watch them the whole time they're there and cry when they leave.

I know two moms that volunteer a lot, and I have heard them talk, a lot, about what goes on in the classroom.

Bobby's mom gave him a jelly sandwich and too many sugary snacks. Susie's having trouble with reading. Sam's got some real behavioural issues. Jane wore the same socks two days in a row!

Just crap like that, and it drives me nuts. I don't see why parents need to be in the classroom.

I have experienced that too. I had one mom who was calling three boys in my class "the bad news bears" to the other parents. And another who told other parents that one child had a bathroom accident(the child was already embarrassed) I had parents trying to get information on a child's learning disability, and parents looking to see what reading level other kids were on and then harassing me to find out why their child was not on that level. I found that I spent more time telling parents how to do things or telling them what they were doing was not acceptable than I would have doing the job myself.

I very rarely have parent volunteers beyond parties and field trips. I had one mom last year who would come in and sit in the hallway. I would send one child at a time out to read to her for extra reading practice. I also sent books home to be made when parents wanted to help. I just really don't like them in the classroom while the kids are working. My assistant and I can handle everything that needs to be done. There are so many opportunities to volunteer at the school through the PTA, or parents can help in the library, or in the garden.

Oh, one other thing. Some of our parent volunteers think they are staff. They don't listen when they are told that the staff lounge is not for them, and that they cannot make personal copies. Our principal is making the staff lounge accessible only with a personalized code to stop this. Nothing like going to take a 15 minute breather and running into one of your parents taking a break in the staff lounge.

Marsha

 

[pyrxtc]

I think parent volunteers are great. I love helping in the classroom and will do whatever the teacher asks of me. I actually prefer not to be working directly with my own children if I can help it but on Field trips, I love being with my kids and their friends and see how they act towards each other.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

You know what is funny? I keep reading all the Moms who are so excited to help in the classroom and want to be right there with their kids all day (who doesn't?) but I wonder what the kids really think about it. I am sure my kids would tell me that they love me in the classroom because I am their Mom but I think they would probably prefer if they could be with their friends and teacher without me.

 

[MushyMushy]

You know what is funny? I keep reading all the Moms who are so excited to help in the classroom and want to be right there with their kids all day (who doesn't?) but I wonder what the kids really think about it. I am sure my kids would tell me that they love me in the classroom because I am their Mom but I think they would probably prefer if they could be with their friends and teacher without me.

Do you really think your kids wouldn't be honest with you about it? Or that other people's kids would be sophisticated enough to fake their feelings about it?

Mine stopped wanting me there around 4th grade, 5th grade. They didn't mind when I did reading partners because I worked with other children. Heck, up until he graduated, my son LIKED it when I subbed in his school (as long as it wasn't any of his classes). He liked having me in the building. And that kid was far from being a mama's boy.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Do you really think your kids wouldn't be honest with you about it? Or that other people's kids would be sophisticated enough to fake their feelings about it?

Mine stopped wanting me there around 4th grade, 5th grade. They didn't mind when I did reading partners because I worked with other children. Heck, up until he graduated, my son LIKED it when I subbed in his school (as long as it wasn't any of his classes). He liked having me in the building. And that kid was far from being a mama's boy.

I am sure my kids would be honest about it but I also know that if they saw how much I wanted to be there they would not want to hurt my feelings. So yes, I do think that kids could fake it. I also think that sometimes parents don't really acknowledge things like that. We have all been guilty of that. (Myself included) We as parents want so bad to be a part of our children's lives that sometimes we don't want to acknowledge that maybe we need to rein it in a bit.

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

OKay- I am not attacking you or trying to be rude but this is one of the many reasons I would never want parents in the classroom. I want more time during the day with my kids too but I think they need to spread their wings and learn without me there. I also think the webcam idea is a little over the top. JMHO of course. While the help may be free you are not a teacher (or at the very least their teacher) and you should not be teaching the children. I am sure you are a wonderful person but that is not why I send my kids to public school. If I wanted my children to be taught by a random parent I would homeschool. I am a very hands on Mom and I volunteer for many activities up at school (PTA events) but we do not have parents in the classroom. I love spending every minute with my children and count down until their vacations. While I would love to be a part of their school day that is not my place. School is their place. I do not belong there. I am simply a visitor. IMO parents do not belong as part of the school day. My children tell me about their day. We discuss what goes on etc. I don't feel that I need to be there and experience it with them. Sure I would love to but then what is the point of sending them? They need to be independant and learn to navigate their day without their parents. I speak with their teachers often just to let them know that they can call me if they need anything and to see how my child is coming along. I am very involved in their education and activities. However I do not smother them. They enjoy learning from other adults. To each their own but if all of a sudden there were parents in the classroom our school would have a litany of complaints and I would be joining them. YMMV.

Actually i did graduate from college with a teaching degree, but 16 years ago when I went for a teaching job, they were hard to come by so I went back to school and received my social worker license.
I guess we are two different kinds of parents. I like to be involved and stay one step ahead. I have no idea who the teacher is so why should i trust my child with someone that I have no idea about. 3 years ago her teacher asked for letters at the beginning of the year to introduce our children, well I did that and told her straight out that my daughter needed to sit in the front because she becomes distracted. She is a social butterfly and loves friends. We go to the open house and I see that she is in the back in a creative desk formation facing the side of the board. Nothing was ever said about her lack of focusing. I even mentioned putting her in the front. My suggestion went unheard. Well at the end of the first term i received a letter with the report card that said my daughter becomes too distracted, etc, etc. Well why did the teacher ask for a letter and then not read it. I know she gets distracted, that is why I wrote it. So now I take every matter into my own hands. Because I am a single mom and need to make my own money rather than live off the state, I have to send her to public school. I do not have a problem with it. You can be darn sure I will not anyone fail her. Bottom line is that I know her better than any teacher could.
I am not an over the top parent. I do not tell teachers what to do. I don't write notes everyday, I don't email everyday. I respect them as long as they do their job with my children. I go to the PTO meetings, I volunteer for every school activity. I am one of the parents that their teacher calls first when their is a field trip before any other parent gets the notices. I do all the crappy fundraising junk. I have written grant requests for the school to receive money for activities. So many people don't care about what their children do or how they are doing in school. Well that is not me. I don't smother my children, but I am involved. So what if I like to see them throughout the day. I love their faces. They don't have to see me, but they always ask me to volunteer. It's not a problem for them yet. When it is, we have open communication and I respect their thoughts, ideas and concerns.

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

You know what is funny? I keep reading all the Moms who are so excited to help in the classroom and want to be right there with their kids all day (who doesn't?) but I wonder what the kids really think about it. I am sure my kids would tell me that they love me in the classroom because I am their Mom but I think they would probably prefer if they could be with their friends and teacher without me.

I have a 5th and 3rd grader and both of them want me to volunteer. Their was one field trip that I just really didn't want to go to. I don't care for museum's and she knows that. She asked me if I was going to go. I said that if she really wanted me to go, I would take the day out of work. Well I ended up going because she wanted me to. Their was one field trip that I couldn't go on this year with my youngest daughter because of my work. My youngest was not happy about it.
I have always talked to my children about letting me know when i am in their space. They know that I can take it.