In your wedding vows, did you include the phrase "obey"?

[LindsayDunn228]

No, we said "cherish." We also took out "if anyone has just cause why these two should not be married," because we have quite a few smart-**** friends who we knew would clear their throat, fake sneeze, or something

 

[BuckNaked]

We also took out "if anyone has just cause why these two should not be married," because we have quite a few smart-**** friends who we knew would clear their throat, fake sneeze, or something

We left that part in, but taped my MIL's mouth shut.

 

[jillyjoey]

Honestly -- I don't remember. However -- I can honestly say that neither of us obey the other

 

[Poohnatic]

The great thing about being part of a small, non traditional congregation is that we customized our vows with our pastor. He had a book of wedding ceremonies from all christian denominations.

DH was pretty funny-he wanted obey in there, I didn't. I wanted cherish. I won-and pastor commented that DH had to obey me, did he want that in the vows?

The funniest thing is that our church was predominantly gay. At the end of our ceremony, our pastor said "you may kiss", as he was accustomed to performing Holy Unions. We waited a good five seconds for him to add "your bride", lol!

Suzanne

 

[Ilovefozzie]

Nope no obey here. We were married 12 years ago by a priest. To me saying that would have been a lie. Heck, the DH was surprised I took his name. His mom is a pretty big feminist, he expected me to keep my maiden name.

Like I would have kept that....

 

[dolphinrescuegirl]

That was the one thing I was extremely clear about! I feel very strongly that marriage is an equal thing so I had that vow cut out for both of us. One of the few things I've had strong opinions about!

 

[Mad4Mickey]

We left it out after I asked my DH if he thought I was a cocker spaniel LOL because I didnt think he was : )

 

[disneymac]

When we met with the priest before our wedding to discuss the ceremony, he jokingly asked about that - at least I thought he was joking! DH just laughed. I think we all knew better - no point making promises that won't be kept! I'm a rule-follower, but blind obedience, not so much.

 

[JimB.]

We replaced the word "obey" with the word "cherish".

There was NO WAY on earth my DW would EVER say she was gonna' obey anyone, least of all ME!

 

[dixipixi]

No. We were married by a judge in a civil ceremony 15 years ago. The issue never even came up.

 

[Serena]

No "obey" in my vows either. And if I had, my family would have called me a liar.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Nope no obey here. We were married 12 years ago by a priest. To me saying that would have been a lie. Heck, the DH was surprised I took his name. His mom is a pretty big feminist, he expected me to keep my maiden name.

Like I would have kept that....

I kept my last name and after 24 years my mother (evil queen), when she even sends a card, always puts his last name on it. DH's mother took it much better. DH said he knew I would not be changing my name. I am the only female in my extended family to not change my name.

 

[Ilovefozzie]

I kept my last name and after 24 years my mother (evil queen), when she even sends a card, always puts his last name on it. DH's mother took it much better. DH said he knew I would not be changing my name. I am the only female in my extended family to not change my name.

I maiden name was Clark...UGH...for years. And with my first name there was nothing original about my name at all. His/Ours is not a common last name and I was thrilled to change.

I know a friend of ours is keeping her name when they get married in a few months. And an Aunt of mine hyphenated.

 

[Mysteria]

Do I seem like the type of person to allow that in my vows?!

Myst

 

[jonestavern]

We were married 20 yrs ago in a high mass ceremony & no 'obey' for either of us.
That vow, had I made it, would have reduced the guests to howling, tear-filled laughter!
In pre-marital counseling, our smiling priest said, "I'm going to run this past you two because it is an option for couples...".
He knew that the 'obey' business was not for us & he did not approve of it either

I do retain my maiden name & use DH's--no hyphen, please!
In my extended family, an older cousin & myself are the only ones that have.
And, yes, my DDad continues to address every card as if I'd taken DH's name.

Jean

 

[YachtClubWoman]

absolutely not! It is a 50/50 partnership

although a funny story - my grandfather married us and although the ceremony was Methodist - he is a Brethren preacer.

He started out speaking how he was "honored to be here as a Reverend and as Pop-pop" - he then went on to talk about me submitting to my husband as it says in the Bible. My parents gasped and I grabbed on my husband's arm so I would keep my mouth shut. We will be married 15 yrs in Oct. and to this day we still have friends that laugh at this.

 

[Laura]

Heck no!

 

[cats7494]

We did not use the word obey in our vows either. I am not comfortable with idea that and neither is my dh!