In Sickness and In Health: The October 17th Anniversary Cruise

[yazee1]

During Christmas of 2007, I suggested to my in-laws that, now that all of their grandkids were out of diapers and naps, it would be fun for all the family (grandparents, grown sons and their families) to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary on a Disney Cruise in 2009. Being the healthy, fun-loving people that they are, they agreed. We picked the October 17th sailing, the day after their actual 50th anniversary. As it turned out, my younger brother-in-law and his family couldn't go, so our traveling family group included the to-be-honored parents, us, and my older brother-in-law who, although in his late 40's, has not yet met the woman he will marry.

This was to be the first Disney cruise for our parents and older brother. Dh and I have cruised with Disney three times before and our kids twice before.

Getting to the port - Lessons Learned

Our family's lesson - Daylight does matter
We live in western Maryland and it is significantly cheaper for us to drive to Florida than to fly. In the past, we would leave at night after dh got home from work. Like most parents, we figured it would be best to have the children asleep through a large chunk of the 15 hour drive. One of the problems with that approach is I can't stay awake driving at night, so dh winds up driving as long as possible until he becomes too drowsy to continue, usually about midnight or later. Consequently, we stop for the night at the first available hotel feeling sluggish and cranky, pay too much for the room, and get too little unbroken sleep. Inevitably, we finish the journey early the next afternoon tired and unable to recuperate our energy until much later.

This time, I lobbied for leaving at 4:00am Friday with planned stops for gas and meals and a schedule for switching drivers so we both could get naps. Dh wasn't entirely sold on this idea (he's a creature of habit) but I made him an offer he couldn't refuse. It's not what you're thinking. I told him about an acclaimed buffet restaurant in Santee, SC that serves all his favorite Southern foods (which I don't make) and we would hit Santee right around lunch time. He took the bait.

The trip down went really well. Driving during the day made a big difference in how much driving I could do, and therefore made a big difference in how much rest dh was able to get. Even the kids faired better with the new schedule although I don't believe all kids would have. Ours are 8,12, and 14 and pretty low-maintenance. Even still, I did, after breakfast, have to insist that they take a nap. It was kind of funny. I could tell at breakfast, everyone was a little sleep deprived from getting up at 4am. The kids were more than a little irritable. Once we were on the road, I told everyone to put their blankets over their heads and go to sleep. I didn't expect 100% participation but amazingly dh and all three kids were fast asleep in mere minutes. It was like I had a magic wand that made them go to sleep.

There's life after the Residence Inn - La Quinta gets the thumbs up
Wanting to save some money on our pre-cruise hotel, I took a chance using hotels.com to book whatever hotel in Cocoa Beach met the criteria of having a reputation for cleanliness, being cheap, having cruise parking and breakfast. La Quinta looked good at 67.00 (total) a night. I was nervous about their mixed reviews but I booked it anyway. We were not disappointed. The room was definitely clean, and the beds and pillows were very comfortable. I had requested a cot when I booked. It wasn't in the room when we arrived but it was brought to us when we called the desk asking for it. I don't know if it was reserved for us or not. It's possible if someone else asked first, we would have been out of luck. Breakfast was what you would expect for this kind of hotel - hot and cold cereal, waffle irons, 2 juices, pastry and breads, warming dishes with less than tasty egg patties, bacon, and sausage patties. The offerings were adequately stocked. We felt the staff was cheerful and accommodating. We were entitled to 2 shuttle vouchers with our reservation. We only needed one. Dh drove us to the port and came back to park and get the shuttle. I feel compelled to report that the shuttle service was the only issue on which I would ding this hotel. Friday night when I asked about signing up for the shuttle, I was told just show up in the lobby at a certain time. No sign up list. I wasn't issued a voucher nor was the need for one mentioned. The next day, when dh dropped the car off and attempted to board a shuttle, he had two problems. One was that since there was no sign up, there wasn't enough space on the shuttle for everyone waiting and the hotel had to call for another one. Then, when he attempted to board the shuttle, he was asked for the voucher - the one he knew nothing about. No biggie, he went back in and got one, but still.

Well, that's probably enough for now. I'll be back after dinner to share with you how driving your monster truck to the airport can ruin your cruise, why you should always listen to your daughter-in-law when she tells blesses you with her extensive knowledge of DCL procedure , and more.

 

[lucky1]

Yeah... waiting to hear more!

 

[yazee1]

The in-laws learn a lesson or two or three
Lesson One – Leave your monster truck at home.
It's early, early Saturday morning, the day of the cruise. My in-laws are beginning their journey. My FIL insisted on driving to the airport in his behemoth-sized truck instead of his wife's parking lot-friendly sedan. It's not like it was snowing or there was ice on the roads. It's not like they had a lot of luggage or people to transport. It was just mom, dad and oldest BIL and each had one check-in bag and a carry-on. Anyway, they arrived at the airport parking lot with time to spare. FIL finds a parking space. Then, FIL decides his tail is sticking out too far and he that he should find a better parking spot. It's predictably downhill from there. He can't find a spot. Finally, he finds one and parks. Now it's getting later. The line for the shuttle is long. They have to wait for the next one. It's really getting late. They arrive at the terminal and use the baggage check-in kiosk. BIL goes first. No problem. He's checked in and has a boarding pass. FIL and MIL go next. They're checked in but not issued boarding passes. They have to see the attendant. BIL goes off to find the departure gate figuring he'll meet his parents up there. He gets on the plane, his parents don't, and he has no idea why. As it turns out, they were too late. In the minute between BIL checking in and his parents checking in, the window of opportunity to get a boarding pass slammed shut. All because my FIL drove the big truck to the airport.

Lesson Two – Use the DCL luggage tags!
I told them, their travel agent told them and DCL, in the literature, told them. But, neither my BIL nor my FIL and MIL used the DCL tags on their check-in bags. So, everyone's luggage is going to Orlando and will have to be picked up at the baggage area. While BIL is in the air, my in-laws are being told by Delta that there is no way they can get the two of them to Orlando in time to make it to the ship. Their luggage is going to Orlando Airport but they aren't. At least not on Saturday. They can't reach their son to tell him to pick up their bags in Orlando because he's in the air. They call us. This is when we first learned that they didn't make the flight and they didn't know yet if they would make it to the ship at all that day.

When my BIL lands in Orlando he calls us to ask us and we fill him in on where his parents are and that he has to pick up all the luggage in the baggage claim. Instead of an effortless float from plane to bus to ship, BIL has to shlep down to baggage claim to wait (and wait) for all the luggage and then heft them up to the DCL shuttle bus. So much for boarding the ship in time for lunch. All because they didn't tag their bags.

Lesson Three – Sometimes, it's worth it to pay more and let DCL book your transportation
This is a lesson we would have rather not learned first-hand. When Delta informed my in-laws that they couldn't get them to Orlando in time, my FIL called DCL to find out what they should do. He talked to someone named Tom (I think). Tom took care of everything. He got them on a flight to Orlando and arranged for a greeter to meet them at the departure gate to whisk them through the airport to the DCL bus that would be waiting and ready to take them straight to the port. Someone even thought to bring a wheelchair in case one of my elderly in-laws was too slow to hurry through the airport. Good thing. My MIL, although healthy, is a little frail and slow.

We were reunited with my BIL on the ship shortly before the lifeboat drill. At that point, we had no expectations of seeing our parents until Grand Cayman. It was a wonderful surprise to get a call shortly after the ship left the port that they were on the ship and would see us at dinner.

 

[E&BMom]

Oh my goodness!! What a start to the trip. I can't wait to hear more. I hope it all goes uphill from the beginning!

 

[lucky1]

Oh my goodness.. It is interesting hearing the "rest of the story" after seeing you so frazzled at the DIS meet on embarkment day.

 

[beansf]

Whoa! Talk about travel stress! It is great to read your "lessons learned". I hope it starts getting fun for you really quick! I will stay posted.

 

[TotallyAngelic]

What a traumatic start to your vacation - your parents must have been beside themselves with worry when they missed that flight - thank goodness for DCL sorting them out and getting them on board before sailaway! I am really looking forward to the rest of your adventures!

 

[yazee1]

It just occurred to me. Could my father-in-law have engineered the whole miss-the-flight ordeal to insure that he would not be present to participate in the muster drill?

There was no more drama for the rest of the cruise as far as our parents are concerned. There was a different kind of drama between dh and me on the following Tuesday when the delicate balancing act of making all members of the extended and nuclear family happy was disrupted, but I'm not going air my dirty laundry out here. We keep our laundry off the board just like we keep it off the ship's balconies.

Report continued...

Sunday - Key West - Things that make you go hmmm.

Hmmm - What do they do in those kids' clubs that is so great that our kids (ages 8, 12 and 14) don't want to tour Key West with us?

Hmmm - I remember the weather in Key West being much warmer than this in October. Windy, too.

Hmmm - Is our trolley tour guide a man with ample hips and a prominent bust or a woman with an unnaturally low voice and an unfortunate amount of facial stubble?

Hmmm - Why are there so many chickens running loose all over this town?

Hmmm - Our Hemingway House tour guide can't seem to hide the fact that he hates talking about Hemingway's wives and wishes instead he had been one of them.

Hmmm - Did all of those cats really have six toes?

Hmmm - this is one weird but beautiful place.

Our trolley tour of Key West ended abruptly early due to the fact that my MIL was sure she remembered that all-aboard sign said 4:30. We were all sure she was mistaken but after their nearly missing the ship the day before, we didn't want to cause her anymore "meet you in Grand Cayman" kind of stress.

So, no time for shopping or eating Key Lime pie. We all went back to the ship and cracked open the champagne and cheese and crackers that were part of the gift basket (from The Perfect Gift) that I ordered for our parents' anniversary.

At dinner that night, we celebrated our parents' 50th wedding anniversary. Of course, the cake and buttons and the singing servers and head server were part of that. It made for a good picture taking opportunity. We were too full to eat the cake so I have no idea how it tasted. Later that night, my mil brought the cake to our room so we could give it to the kids when they came home from the kid programs. I took it over to their room and left it on the desk. They, of course, were enjoying themselves in the kids' programs. I don't know if they ate it or the cake-eating-under-the-bed monster ate it, but it was all gone the next day.

The ship was really rocking that night and you could see big swells as the ship made its way out to sea. I loved it! I couldn't get enough of the sound and sight of the waves and the motion of the ship. Our 8 year old daughter, who was sharing a room with dh and me wanted to sleep on our balcony so we let her. After all, it's her vacation, too. JUST KIDDING.

 

[SWORDFISH]

Our 8 year old daughter, who was sharing a room with dh and me wanted to sleep on our balcony so we let her. After all, it's her vacation, too. JUST KIDDING.

You could have let that one go for a while. You would have got some interesting replies from the "you are a horrible parent" crowd.


SF

 

[lucky1]

It just occurred to me. Could my father-in-law have engineered the whole miss-the-flight ordeal to insure that he would not be present to participate in the muster drill?

Actually our musterdrill was so painless and we even faced the sun out in section M.

 

[yazee1]

You could have let that one go for a while. You would have got some interesting replies from the "you are a horrible parent" crowd.


SF

Ahh, the imp of the perverse lives in us all. I thought about posting it on the main board but I knew in my heart, I would just be stirring the pot.

 

[beansf]

There was no more drama for the rest of the cruise as far as our parents are concerned. There was a different kind of drama between dh and me on the following Tuesday when the delicate balancing act of making all members of the extended and nuclear family happy was disrupted, but I'm not going air my dirty laundry out here. We keep our laundry off the board just like we keep it off the ship's balconies.

I can surely relate to this situation! Sometimes, it can be pretty stressful. You don't have to go into details for me, I am feelin' ya' on this one!

Hmmm - I remember the weather in Key West being much warmer than this in October.

Strangely enough, it was even colder and rainy the last time I was in Key West! I am starting to take it personally. I suppose I am not destined to see one of those "famous sunsets". I can't see a need to visit a third time.

Hmmm - Did all of those cats really have six toes?

I don't think all of them had six toes. The big, extended cat family that lives there carries the gene for it, but not all the cats end up with the extra toe. They sure have it good there, don't they? Nice garden to live in, if you are a cat, I think.

Still enjoying your report!

 

[lmhall2000]

Would appreciate any tips on how the Tuesday tiff might have been avoided! We are going on our first cruise ever, and taking my parents (celebrating 48 years) with us...it's a 10 day cruise, and I just hope we don't all tire of each other!! EEK!! I am practicing my "be kind and considerate" disposition..and "let it go" philosophy...oh, I hope I can manage!!

Thanks!
Tara

 

[yazee1]

Would appreciate any tips on how the Tuesday tiff might have been avoided! We are going on our first cruise ever, and taking my parents (celebrating 48 years) with us...it's a 10 day cruise, and I just hope we don't all tire of each other!! EEK!! I am practicing my "be kind and considerate" disposition..and "let it go" philosophy...oh, I hope I can manage!!

Thanks!
Tara

Hi, Tara,

I wouldn't worry about getting tired of each other. You'll probably find just the opposite, that you have to plan time to be together! If your family is like ours, you have different interests, expectations and limitations and those will lead you all in different directions once you are on the ship. For example, on an at-sea day, you and your dh might want to sleep in until 9am or 10am while your parents have already had breakfast by 8:30am. You might want to sunbathe or read a book at the Quiet Cove while your dh and father might want to watch a game at the sports bar. It's all fine because when you meet again at dinner, you'll have a lot to talk about. After dinner, you might all want to go see the same show or you might not. You and dh might want to stay up for the "Know Your Mate" game show at 10pm while your parents might be ready to crash for the night.

In our case, my in-laws are 79 and 76 years old. Dh and I are in mid-40's. We have two teenagers and an 8 year old. We all had very different interests, expectations, and limitations. Our parents need naps, like more sedate activities, don't like beaches or swimming and go to bed early. My mother-in-law suffers sea sickness the first three days of a sea voyage and has an aching hip and a slow walk. Dh and I sleep in later than our parents, want to spend most of our port time in the ocean diving and snorkeling or looking for some kind of adventure, and try hard to stay up late enough for the adult shows and activities. The kids' idea of cruise bliss is to eat whatever they want at and between meals and spend all non-eating and non-sleeping time in the kids' programs.

You can imagine how much effort it took to make sure we did some things together in the name of the cruise being a family vacation in the broader range of family. What we found to be very important was talking about those expectations and interests ahead of time. For instance, we wanted to do at least one excursion with everyone. Since you can't please all the people all the time, we agreed to let the parents pick that one and no one was going to grumble about it.

That leads me to your "let it go" attitude which was something I was going to suggest. It is a blessing to be the person who really can "let it go" and not stew or keep a tally of grievances. On this cruise, in spite of all the communication and planning, stuff still happened that really could have ticked me off . For instance, before the cruise, when it was 90 days out and I could make reservations, everyone nodded their head yes for High Tea at 3pm on Monday, so I reserved tickets. BUT, the morning of the tea day, dh and BIL saw the beer tasting was at 2pm and wanted to do that. I could have raised a stink, but asked myself how will haranguing the men to go to the tea make anyone happy? How do I want to remember this cruise? How do I want my family members to remember this cruise?

The source of Tuesday's trouble was one you probably won't have if you don't have an un-partnered adult in your traveling group. If you do have such a person, you might want to have a heart-to-heart with your spouse about how to handle it if that unpartnered person becomes your third wheel. Or in our case, you feel like you have become their third wheel. Better yet, if possible, discuss privacy, alone time and family time with all parties involved ahead of time.

 

[lmhall2000]

Great tips Yazee! I think the hardest part of our cruise will be the mother/daughter roles...even though I am 42...she still likes to be the 'leader' and expect everyone to follow her whims...it gets passive/aggressive if you try and politely say 'we'd rather do this'...I knew when we were married to let her choose it all, I stuck my foot down on my dress...she let me pick that, everytime I suggested what I would like...it was, "No, you wouldn't like that."....I just knew it was better not to fight it and while I didn't get 'my' wedding the way I wanted it, I got my husband and a happy mother, what more can you ask? Now that I'm 42...I really wonder if I've mastered tact when it comes to dealing with her and not either getting overworked with her not giving an inch. It's just exciting to read a report where families made it through the 'wilderness..somehow you made it through..." Okay I hate Madonna but that just popped in there!

Thanks!
Tara

 

[Jennifer48]

Wow what a stressful start to your trip! I hope things get better. Can't wait to read more

 

[lucky1]

Any more to this tale?