I too had some computer glitches but more than that...family turmoil that has been really hard to deal with.
My youngest son Baylor, is really struggling in school and I have asked his Dad to be supportive in the process of catching him up and holding him accountable for his homework.
I am not sure what to do and am asking for some advice from anyone...
How do I help a 12 year old be accountable when the 38 year old denies knowledge of the problem. Last night I literally sat with Baylor, his Dad and myself on a kitchen table...explained step by step what was missing for homework and needing to be accomlished ....5 pieces...wrote them down with spaces to mark down when it was accomplished...and guess what...
1 of the 5 was done this morning...38 year old denies seeing me write the chart or knowing that math was one of the things he had to get done!
Now I know we were all at the same table...I heard my out loud voice...made sure Dad was paying attention by saying..."Please put the mail down so I know you are listening to this..." etc.
So what did I do this morning....kept the 12 year old home for 1 1/2 hours...got those things done...sent him to school late with an unexcused absence due to the fact that he had no reason to choose to be late...(I spoke w/ counseling office...Baylor will get detention but they agreed it was the right thing since his class this morning that he missed....they had a "Fun day" and were watching Harry Potter and his time needed to be on schoolwork.)
Here is the dillema....my whole marriage to him...I did 90% of the raising of the kids and dealt with all of life...bills...cooking...trip planning...cleaning....schoolwork...etc...
My counselor and everyone else says the same thing...I am a control person and although I was stressed and looney most days...when did I ever let their Dad take responsibility...so if he didn't want to do it...I would pick up the slack when he quit or simply didn't do something.
I agree...and now...we are divorcing...he will be their sole parent on some days and I walk away from stuff that isn't mine to deal with. I do not worry about his stuff...it is not mine...and some big things have not been dealt with..his business taxes form 2006 for example...because I am tired of being the one just expected to do stuff...he needs to become self-sufficient.
But.....that said....how do I not throttle him when it comes to our kids...how do I not hold him accountable for his role in their lives in the not so fun things...how do I help Baylor know that just because his Dad flips out and throws his hands up and walks away when he gets overwhelmed...he can't do the same....because that is exactly what he does and that is exactly who he saw it from.
I am a survivor...I will throw a pitty party and then move on and figure out ways to make it happen...their Dad...says "its worthless to try...why bother nothing will change..etc" and it is hard to not understand why Baylor is feeling not only overwhelmed by his deluge of homework and behind material...but not like it is worth it to accomplish it and get some credit versus none.
I am going to try to get a chart with Baylor this weekend together to offer positive incentives for him finishing daily homework and weekly homework..nothing expensive...playing games...etc...
Other than that..do you guys have any great ideas???
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Dawn - keep doing what you are doing.... you will be teaching your children how to survive and what better lesson can there be... Enlist the school, your other kids, whoever you need to help get Baylor back on track... heck - I'll come out there if you need me... Whatever you do, don't give up.... the little guy is going to need you...
Have some faith... I was one of those kids who didn't want to do homework, coasted through school, had the guidance counselors convinced I wasn't going to make it through college and I surprised them all. Mostly because my mother never gave up on me and taught me about how to survive... we are with you...
Okay...so I know I have an infection...need to go to ER to get IV now...I just weighed myself...hoping that I would not be too sad...I was at 257.4! Hello...heavier by 7 pounds from last week! Heavier by 5 pounds from yesterday...I do not think so...what I do think is that I have a major complication right now and am needing to get to ER rapidly...last time I felt this bloated...I had septic issues and the kidney had shut down completley and I had surgery.
I am not really joking but I was actually laughing at the scale because for the first time I knew it was not my fault totally for blowing up! I knew I did not feel well...but this is not a good sign.
I'll keep in touch through Jodi...I'll let ya know how I am...sorry for not getting to weight posts.
Get better soon.... I'm praying for you....
Jodi - keep us posted...
Paula