In Search of My Body - Not the One I Ate... Vol. 6: Goddesses just want to have fun

[HockeyKat]

Wow you guys have been busy, and I have so much to say. This is what I get for taking the night off the computer...

Word on the Vitamins! I take the Target women's generic. I read all the labels and compared them to what they articles/doctors/research said a woman my age needs.

I also take one of those chewable calcium things. Yum!

Erika - go do your core.

So today, all tracked. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks. You know what I hate about doing this? The initial hunger thing. Not starving, but not full full. I know it passes. Had a salad, oatmeal, carrots, all this filling food. Still.

Drank water, but I admit to it being flavored.

Kat, love love love your "My name is Kat, and I have a weight problem." Just awesome!

Yay on the tracking!! I tracked too. And my water was also flavored (pink lemonade).

Liz--YES on the initial hunger thing! OMG, I think that is why I am having such a hard time. Like really, that is ALL I am supposed to eat? That is insane! Have to work on my mindset.

HATE the initial hunger!! Makes me want to chew nails.

...


Kat - Aren't we supposed to be training buddies for the 1/2? Any ideas on where to start?

...

Yes, we are!! I am going to maybe start the C25K program again?

Heidi, thank you for sharing all of that. I love how you wrote it - very honest and matter of fact. I bet it's hard to go from being thin to fighting your weight. I was never ever skinny, or thin, although I probably was in reality. Point is, I didn't need to adjust my mind-set in the same way. Like Kat says, I will have to watch my weight, what I put in my mouth, for the rest of my life. But I didn't go from thin to omg, the hell? And I bet that's a hard struggle on it's own.

...

You are not what you weigh. Each of us has started at what is/was a scary number for us. I'm 5' 7" and my highest (non pregnant) was 237lbs. I was a size 20. I got down to 160/ size 10 and then, since Christmas, have been on a steady gain. I had 80lbs to lose when I started, maybe more, because I wasn't sure where to stop or how I'd look at different weights. (I have slightly more realistic goals now, you see. )

Now I'm happy to get to 157, a size 10, and call it a day!

You could put me next to my dear friend Erika, and her heaviest is my thin weight. But that doesn't matter. I'm not Erika. She's not me. (She's 3DisKids, in case you have not memorized all of us yet.) We might share a brain, but we sure as heck don't share a body. Although if you combined her legs and my upper body it would be pretty sweet. Anyhoo, I can't judge myself against her. It would be crazy to do that!

I can't even judge myself against Kat, who is taller and we tend to weigh the same but gain in different places. Or Lyz, who shares my body type. Nope, it's a one-woman show here, and for those of us who have spent their life in metaphors and similes, that's hard. Comparison is our game, but we have to stop playing it.

So. If you ever do want to share numbers, don't be embarrassed. No judgment here.

I am going to echo all of this to you, Heidi. So brave of you to share all of that with us, and I am so happy that you did.

Since we are being brave... here we go. I struggled with weight most of my life, but in the 20-30 lbs overweight category. I did spend most of my 20s (with a 1yr exception) being thin-to-normal. When I met my husband, at 28, it all started going downhill. My highest weight was 218 and a size 18 in Feb 2007, and my lowest since was 159 and a size 10 in June 2008. I have managed to put 30 lbs back on over the last year, and am staring the low 190s in the face at this point.

My goal is to get to somewhere between 150 and 160, fit/in shape, and a size 10, and maintain it.


I am more in Erika's camp... the exercise part doesn't bother me (although I am not as hard-core!). I do kickboxing twice a week and play ice hockey, and actually rather like the way that exercise makes me feel.

My main problem is food and alcohol, and moderating both instead of going all or nothing.


Okay, gotta get back to work... to everyone!!

 

[goofyfan-12]

Since Erika is leading the charge, here are my before and afters. (Liz - I will still try to get some new pics soon - promise...)

Before (my heaviest - I have no neck...)

Current (this was at about 60 pounds lost and taken about a month ago now... and I have a neck!)

It is quite a difference. I need to upload some of the pics from my 06 trip to Disney where I am standing so you can truly see the difference. It is shocking.

 

[disneysnowflake]

I wanted to thank all of you for the kind words.

 

[SeptemberGirl]

Liz- how's Em liking camp? [/B]

Emily likes EVERYTHING. She's just so freaking easy in that way. Like, she talks up a storm and does not know the meaning of mellow, (she IS her mother's child) but she can be dropped anywhere and LOVE it. She gets there and immediately starts chatting to the counselors. They knew her name on the first day, naturally.

So, I'm Costco today while Em is in camp. This woman is examining the potato rolls, weirdly, and I look at her (BTW, potato rolls for hamburgers or hotdogs have no junk in them like corn syrup and are only 2pts). She passes me, then stops. Don't I know you, she asks. So we figure out it's from the nail salon, and she remembers me because of Emily. Once I took Em in there and this woman had a conversation with her for like an hour. It was totally over the top chatty child, but this woman adored her. Wants her to marry her son. Too funny.

This morning I was listening to the radio on the way to the gym. The author of "Moose: A Memoir of Fat Camp" was on. OMG was she hysterical. Anyway - she was talking about her book that relates her struggles as an overweight teen, and now her life as a healthy, fit mother of twin girls. In just that 5 minute interview she hit upon so many things that hit home for me. I may have to read her book....

I "know" her! Her name is Stephanie Klein. Her first is about dating after her divorce - starter marriage - and it did very well. She moved from NYC to Austin, Texas, a few years ago. I've read her blog for years, and she actually sought me out on Facebook - she's a wonderful promoter, which is not a dig. She's just savvy to the new social media that got her the first book deal. You should read her blog. No BS. Oh, and the babies are Abigail and Lucas. Sooooo cute!


Pictures:

Love those two of you, Erika.

The ones of me - 1st pic - Nick is so much thinner now, since WW. I should post an after pic of HIM! (And his stinking 30-something points!)

The 2nd - my God, that woman is skinny. And she has great fashion sense. The only thing I'd change about her is her shoes. Hmm. Something comfortable but more refined than those flip flops.

I weighed in at 187 this morning. That would be EXACTLY 30lbs to go. And honestly, I am going to kiss the ground at 180, 170, 160, and just do the 157 happy dance and move on! I have spent FAR too much time being not good enough. What BS.

 

[HockeyKat]

Emily likes EVERYTHING.

Even me!

But seriously, from the moment I met her in the airport, immediately chatter, hug, love. Such a sweetie.

The ones of me - 1st pic - Nick is so much thinner now, since WW. I should post an after pic of HIM! (And his stinking 30-something points!)

The 2nd - my God, that woman is skinny. And she has great fashion sense. The only thing I'd change about her is her shoes. Hmm. Something comfortable but more refined than those flip flops.

I weighed in at 187 this morning. That would be EXACTLY 30lbs to go. And honestly, I am going to kiss the ground at 180, 170, 160, and just do the 157 happy dance and move on! I have spent FAR too much time being not good enough. What BS.

Nick DEFINITELY looks thinner. LOTS thinner.

Amen on the not being good enough. You are good enough now, just not happy with it which I completely understand. As my ex-boss said to his wife when she complained about being fat, "You just aren't where you want to be."

 

[lisaviolet]

First,

Liz - I missed you greatly. And it so makes my day and makes me smile to see you back.

Second!

It's Canada Day people!!!!! Just sayin'

And just not the country's birthday. One of the most demure and shy Canadians -it's their (can't do a he/she) birthday as well. Who?

Hi!! Today I'm joining your group. You all seem so happy and motivated. I need to be that way, too.

I woke up and decided today is the day. I need to get back in shape. Honestly, all my clothes from last year are tight. I only have 2 pair of pants that fit right, and I refuse to buy a bigger size for my bigger butt.

I've already gone to the grocery store this morning and purchased my salad goodies. After posting here I'm getting them ready in containers I can grab when it's time to eat. My big problem is not having things prepared, so when I'm hungry I'll grab the easiest thing (which is bad for me).

DH got my exercise bike out for me.

I hope I can do this. I lost a lot in 2004 and looked pretty good. I can't believe how it all piled back on me by making the wrong food choices and not exercising. I look very, very bad now. I also feel very bad about myself for letting myself go. However, I can't change the past. All I can do is move forward, and today is my day to start changing.

Anyway, just wanted to say hi. I'm off to make my salads.

Hi Heidi!!!! It's so great to have you here. I've really loved reading all about you. You are one strong sister to jump on here and lay it all out. I loved it. Boy did you come to right place.

LisaV! I finally installed something to view your floorplan, and I want more details. What options do you have? Is the basement finished? Do you have a den or a bedroom? It looks like an awesome place!!

No options. We bought the same model resale instead b/c they put in over 20 000 of upgrades. I would have loved to have chosen all our stuff - been spoiled last two condos were bought presale - new. But the woman picked wonderfully.

Unfinished basement. That would have been a score. Boy, would that have been a score. I will be using the den as my bedroom - front room - small but beautiful window. It's the two bedroom plus den model. Thanks Kat.

Hi Heidi!!! Welcome! I will be back shortly to share some of the ups and downs that I have been through

back to you Amiee.

Can't believe that I forgot to post this last night!

This is what happened to me just yesterday...

I was at the tail end of my run and it was dusk (lots of wooded areas, rural areas, you get the idea) and about 50 yards ahead of me, a large white-tailed doe hops across the road (again, lots of trees on both sides of the road). Now, we have deer ALL the time in my area. Hardly a day goes by without seeing some. But still, this was really close. So much so that it really startled me and I let out a gasp.

Then my mind went to, "Gee, one has never come that close before, I wonder if something spooked it?"

Sure enough, just 5 seconds later, a big ol' moose came sauntering out of the trees and crossed the road. I FROZE. For those who don't know, Moose are HUGE when seen up close. And if spooked, can be very fast and quite unpleasant to say the least. So I froze in my tracks for a full minute after he was out of sight. Then slowly turned and headed back the other direction.

They are huge, eh? I did French Immersion in an area of Quebec that borders Maine. Once in awhile a moose would be in town in the river. HUGE.

me. Pick me. Yesterday sucked. Today was much better....but....this afternoon I stepped on bee - barefoot. Stung my left foot. THEN. Tonight (barefoot again of course) I dropped a table on my RIGHT foot. I don't think it's broken - but majorly bruised.

Which makes me wonder...Kelly! How are you?

OMG - Nancy - you are too funny., How the heck can I feel any compassion about the bee when you are cracking me up.

Whoo hoo on making it through day 1!!!!!

Heidi - I am sending you hugs because you did a very brave thing today by sharing all of that with us.

Now, you know you are not alone in this now right? The great thing about this group is the support you get along the way. It is an amazing thing.

I know you don't want to list your actual weight or how much you have to lose and I totally respect that, but I do want to share something with you. Don't let the numbers game own you. They are just numbers that represent how your body is at that particular moment in time and nothing more. How you feel about yourself is a much better gauge on how you are doing.

Besides, I have a lot of weight to lose to get to where I want to be too. (like another 70 - 80 pounds would be nice ), but I only focus on ten pound increments so that I don't get discouraged or sidetracked. I celebrate those ten pound victories with some new tunes for my ipod and mark the milestones (like 25 pound increments) with a treat like a manicure or a massage. Besides, a 10 - 20 pound loss is noticible in your clothing so you will be looking to buy smaller clothes in no time at all.

Here's to a great day 2!!!!

So smart this chick is, eh?

Amen on the not being good enough. As my ex-boss said to his wife when she complained about being fat, "You just aren't where you want to be."

Love it Kat.

 

[amykab]

Okay, I am never going away from this thread for more than a day again. OMG. So much to catch up on. My houseguests are gone and safely back in NC, despite the 8+ inches of rain we have gotten in the past 2 days. My pool has been overflowing for a day now.

Heidi--WELCOME! And thanks for sharing!

As for me, I lost 30-35 pounds in 04, got down to about 175. Slowly gained it back and got pregnant, and 8 months post baby (feb 2008), I weighed at least 225, maybe more. I am almost 5"11. These days I hover right around 180, just below or just above. I hope to get down to mid 160's by september. Running is what got me on track with exercise, and I still do that, as well as some DVD's, pilates, walking and wogging with DD in the stroller.

E--The first time i saw a moose IRL in Vermont, I could not believe how big it was. And this was a mommy moose with a baby and even the baby was HUGE!

Liz--I did not know that about potato rolls. Are you seeing Bruuuce anytime in August? My parents have tickets to a show somewhere.

I begin detox tomorrow. eating WAY too much over the last week. Yucko. So bloated right now. I probably will not get on the scale this week. And of course cocktail hour started right after lunch almost everyday while SIL was here.

And I realized it is less than 200 days to the Mickey, and less than 300 until the Princess!

Couple pics from the weekend

Wonder Pets Cake, made by me!

And Little D, ready for a swim

 

[lisaviolet]

Okay, I am never going away from this thread for more than a day again. OMG. So much to catch up on. My houseguests are gone and safely back in NC, despite the 8+ inches of rain we have gotten in the past 2 days. My pool has been overflowing for a day now.

Heidi--WELCOME! And thanks for sharing!

As for me, I lost 30-35 pounds in 04, got down to about 175. Slowly gained it back and got pregnant, and 8 months post baby (feb 2008), I weighed at least 225, maybe more. I am almost 5"11. These days I hover right around 180, just below or just above. I hope to get down to mid 160's by september. Running is what got me on track with exercise, and I still do that, as well as some DVD's, pilates, walking and wogging with DD in the stroller.

E--The first time i saw a moose IRL in Vermont, I could not believe how big it was. And this was a mommy moose with a baby and even the baby was HUGE!

Liz--I did not know that about potato rolls. Are you seeing Bruuuce anytime in August? My parents have tickets to a show somewhere.

I begin detox tomorrow. eating WAY too much over the last week. Yucko. So bloated right now. I probably will not get on the scale this week. And of course cocktail hour started right after lunch almost everyday while SIL was here.

And I realized it is less than 200 days to the Mickey, and less than 300 until the Princess!

Couple pics from the weekend

Wonder Pets Cake, made by me!

And Little D, ready for a swim

Love the cake Amy! Great job. She must have loved that.

And for Miss Delena. OMG. Every picture she's the star, eh? So precious.

 

[amykab]

LisaV--Congrats on the House! Awesome!

Liz--That pool camp sounds great!

Paula--Glad you had fun in VT! And so cool about everyone noticing your loss and changes. It is so motivational!

Kat--Sorry about the sort of craptastic hockey weekend. Lots of exercise anyhow.

EE--LOVING the trip report! And I had no idea that Jiminy even existed as a character!

So, I was going through some pics that SIL took at the beach and somehow she managed to catch one just of my legs. So I thought of you guys, naturally!!

Delena's Party Details...For those of you who LOVE details.

We had about 17 people, this included 5 toddlers and 3 older kids!! We had a cook out (typical stuff, burgers, hot dogs, pasta salad, that sort of thing). And Loads of mojitos. So many people drank that I didn't think would. And I made mint infused simple syrup for the first time. So yummy to use in the mojitos! And the cake was the wonderpets flyboat cake in my previous post. It was a from scratch simple poundcake with from scratch vanilla buttercream icing. I didn't eat any of it, other than what I sampled while assembling it. I used fruit by the foot for the red on the boat. My trial run with food coloring made the icing taste funny.

All the kids went swimming for most of the time, except for eating. Goody buckets were a huge hit. Since we live in FL and most people have pools, or go to a pool or the beach, I went to the dollar store and got a bunch of disney related pool/water stuff. Swimmies, floats, balls, frisbees, buckets, bubbles. I made up a little package for each little kid. Older kids got water balloons, and my 13 year old niece got the US weekly special edition Twilight magazine!

It seemed like everyone had a great time! I love love love hosting parties, but I always feel like I never get to talk to anyone.

Here I am with Little D at the

 

[AKASnowWhite]

My main problem is food and alcohol, and moderating both instead of going all or nothing.

Add me to that list too. Exercise? Love it. Food and drink? Love it too. Sadly, my calories in have been far exceeding my calories out lately

I "know" her! Her name is Stephanie Klein. Her first is about dating after her divorce - starter marriage - and it did very well.

Yes! They did talk ever so briefly about her 1st book - but really she was promoting the "Moose" one. I'll have to check out her blog - she was very entertaining.


The 2nd - my God, that woman is skinny. And she has great fashion sense. The only thing I'd change about her is her shoes. Hmm. Something comfortable but more refined than those flip flops.

She IS fabulous, isn't she!

And just not the country's birthday. One of the most demure and shy Canadians -it's their (can't do a he/she) birthday as well. Who?

I can't even begin to imagine. Do I even KNOW any Canadians? I know Canada Dry Ginger Ale. And the Canadian Goose...wait. Celine Dion. She's Canadian right? Is it her birthday?


Amy - love that cake! Party sounds like it was a lot of fun. Now that companies gone, it's back to reality. HARSH!




I did a little retail-therapy today. Went to Eddie Bauer to return a pair of shorts that I ordered and didn't like - and came OUT with several other items

 

[lisaviolet]

Oh Nancy!

Holy crap. You know tons of Canadians. Me. Jim Carrey, John Candy, Martin Short, Mike Myers, Dan Akroyd, Eric McCormack (Will as in Will and Grace) - see all the funny men to match my funny girl Nancy. And for crazy we'll add in William Shatner.

And then there's the pretty, natural looking girls - Rachel McAdams (Ryan Gosling too) Evangeline Lilly (Lost)

Shy and demure are the key words for the birthday girl - as in she's not. Nor is she natural looking.

 

[3DisneyKids]

Back from a night out with my posse. Fun, though I wish more had shown up. With all of this foul weather, we all need a night out.

Kids have their first track meet tomorrow. I am hoping it gets rained out. They are so not ready (which they know and which makes them super nervous).

Amy--party sounds like a hit! GREAT job on the cake. And yes, red frosting always has a bitter taste. I don't let my kids request it anymore!

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

HAS to be Pamela Anderson with that last clue.

 

[3DisneyKids]

HAS to be Pamela Anderson with that last clue.

OMG, ,you don't post all day and THIS is what brings you out???

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

So, I've been reading. Only reading. Cause that's easier than typing all those deep things you guys keep sharing and admitting all the ugly. Although e.v.e.r.y. word of it's to me and for me, even if not intentional. Keep it up.

Amy - you look great. And I can really see it in your face. Delena looks sooo tall in that swimsuit.

I hate the hungry stage too. It gives me a headache and a longing for things I can't have. Darn that Nick and his 30 pts.

Ok, back to fanfic.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

OMG, ,you don't post all day and THIS is what brings you out???

You're not the only competitive ho here.

 

[SeptemberGirl]

You're not the only competitive ho here.

Hahahahahahaha!

I go with Pam, too. There are a TON of Canadians in the entertainment industry, and it's so funny to me that every single Canadian can name every single other famous Canadian. And geez, we can't even name your PM.

Happy Canada Day, Lisa!

Lyz, come back and play with us!

 

[3DisneyKids]

You're not the only competitive ho here.

SO true!

Hahahahahahaha!

I go with Pam, too. There are a TON of Canadians in the entertainment industry, and it's so funny to me that every single Canadian can name every single other famous Canadian. And geez, we can't even name your PM.

Happy Canada Day, Lisa!

Lyz, come back and play with us!

Yeah, come out and play!

 

[adsrtw]

I'm being an internet slacker tonight. Took the kids to see Ice Age tonight ~ my opinion only ~ the 2nd one was much better. It was ok, but not nearly as funny. It could also be my state of mind though.

E & Nancy ~ Jiminy is rare?? I am stoked!

E ~ they have track for your kiddos age group in your area? I would have begged, stealed, or borrowed when I was a kid. Loved track in my teenage years.

Nancy ~ the Moose author?? I must check her out! Yes everybody, I do other things too (prefer my vamps though).

Kelly ~ your concert! So excited for you! I have no clue who they are, but I can so relate to having an IT band. Mine was Duran Duran. I still go ga ga over them.

Heidi ~ my name is Amiee and my guilty pleasure is sugary cereal chased with more carbs and cream cheese too (sometimes strawberry jam with it). I haven't had it for a while, but wow, it is yummy. On a really bad day, I would follow it up with way too many servings of pasta with garlic bread. I hear ya on those carbs.

Congrats on making it through day 1.

This is me before:

And a few months ago:

Paula ~ I completely agree with you on the rewards! They are so important.

Liz ~ WORD!! Your words are so true!

Kat ~ I almost forgot that Emily and you are bff's. I love that!

LisaV ~ I almost missed it but Happy Canada Day back at you!

Amy ~ rock on with your cake. Love the wonder pets. Lil D with the goggles

 

[lisaviolet]

HAS to be Pamela Anderson with that last clue.

Good work cutie! Fine work!!!!

OMG, ,you don't post all day and THIS is what brings you out???

Pay no attention to the tough - bobbing for hardware in the cold lake - girl behind the curtain, cutie. Fine work I say. Ms. Anderson's 42nd birthday coinciding with Canada's 142nd birthday is very important. Very.

Centennial babies her and I. Twins I tell you.

You're not the only competitive ho here.

Hahahahahahaha!

and it's so funny to me that every single Canadian can name every single other famous Canadian. And geez, we can't even name your PM.

Happy Canada Day, Lisa!

!

I know. We're so freakin' insecure.

As for the PM - well the man has negative charisma - who the he!! would want to name him.

At least Jean Chretien was amusing. Did you know that a Canadian comic asked Bush a serious politcal question about PM Jean Poutine - name repeated to him numerrous times and he answered it.