In Search of my Body...Not The One I ate...#3 "Crowning Goddesses As We Go"

[3DisneyKids]

I live on leafy greens. My house is full of leafy greens in every shade. My kids can visually identify 4 different types of lettuce.

But then I can also eat an entire jar of almonds in like 2 sittings if the mood strikes. Or, OMG, whole grain bread. I can eat pieces and pieces. So it is all healthy, just way way way too much.

The only thing holding me together most of the time is the running. Thank God I continue to run and workout.

 

[lisaviolet]

But Liz - I got that. I know Twilight was November's book. But did I miss the next choice? I've been waiting for it but thinking I've missed the decision. Did I?

I sound mental tonight.

 

[lisaviolet]

Bully for you my friend.

 

[lisaviolet]

It so suprises me when you all are "off" the wagon. You are weight loss superstars and I just imagine you all happy - eating leafy greens and almonds. Skipping thru a field of leafy greens. Pooping leafy greens. Ok, well not really, but you see what I mean.

It's hard to get decent leafy greens in Orlando supermarkets. I find that so bizarre. So incredibly bizarre.

Sorry you were low Cutie. Excited about your trip?!??!? Yeah.

Erika - haven't located the wasabi almonds as yet. I'm actually afraid to because I'll be yummin' them up by the handful.

Liz - thank you.

 

[HockeyKat]

I am not good at all like E and Liz (but then again, I am no weight loss superstar either!). When I pig out, it is things like chips and cheese, or pizza. And beer, lots of beer.

The only leafy greens in my house are frozen spinach and romaine lettuce. Oh, and some iceberg for D, I hate the stuff. Although, does celery count as a leafy green?

And Lisa, thanks for the kind words. But it is more a defense mechanism against the holidays. Just trucking along. I am still down almost 50 lbs from where I started in Feb '07 but I am also still 20-25 from goal... but I have to live, too, you know?


So, food for today:
B: coffee
L: small salad (50), turkey soup (100), ham wrap (150)
D: popcorn (200), boca burger (200), veggies, ff pringles (70), ff spinach dip (60)
S: 2-3 sam adams (400?)

Total for today, 1200ish. Exercise, 45 min of kickboxing (including much ab work and 50 pushups). Water, 64 oz.

 

[Dizneydawn]

Again when I am up at 4:30 in the morning it is you who I want to turn to...

And here is what I have for you all...

I booked a reservation at Big River Grille for 9:30 this Sat. I wanted to make sure that we had a space and it wouldbe conducive for Baylor if he needs his leg up and they were great...

We can bring a cake from Boardwalk Bakery there...so I will order Treyner's cake...save room for dessert please!

As far as the weight loss debacle for everyone...

Here is my 2 cents...

We all came here for different reasons...bound together for the common goal of feeling better, looking slimmer and getting to our best us. Unfortunatley...and you all have pointed out to me that weight is not a number...I am going to put that back out there..that it is not.

Liz...I can not speak for you...but for me...there have been moments that I hid from the scale (ahemm.... E...just sayin... ) and gained and gained because I simply did not care about myself enough to care when I was killing myself through my food choices and lack of excersize. I know I have stepped on the scale and said...how did those 10 pounds get there?

I look at my weight through my life and I can break it into chunks...

112 - graduating weight in HS- said I would kill myself if I ever weighed 120...

145-at 9months pregnant with Treyner...thought I looked so bad I starved myself after he was born...no one told me at 19 that my body would look different after a baby...and got down to 95 pounds 4 months later...and Chad said I looked good...

160 - after I had Carsyn...not looking good - but not the worst either - started to take care of the kids more than me...stopped excersizing completely...

210 -9 months pregnant with Baylor...and stopped thinking of me as a woman...only as a mom...not as I wife...because that was too depresing as well...

258 - my heighest weight...last January...when I started this...thinking that I would be 145 for this trip...and I am still almost 100 pounds away from that...

But...I am happy....in almost every arena of my life...and the only 2 left to work on...is my gift to myself through excersize and diet choices...and my career...which has taken a slump since the whole hospital stay for me in Sept. and Baylor in Nov.

That is it....2 things left...which compared to the me in Jan...is huge!

I can say with all sincerity...that this year I have grown as a human being...and as a woman...more with my kids, Dan and your friendships than I ever have before. My stress level that I used to put myself through is no where the peak it was before...even my ex SIL- who I have not spoken with since 2 years ago when Chad and I split...talked to me a few days ago...and said she has never heard me sound so good...so calm... and so happy. Howdid I expect to loose weight when my heart was so depressed?

So although I may still be a bit panicked about fitting into some rides...I am down 25 pounds...andif I fit at 258...I will fit now better...not perfect....but better...

And that my friend...is my thought about your weigh in dillema...

What have you gained this year while loosing the pounds?

Who have you become?

And who were you?

Because I have seen the transformation in your pics...and not just the physical...but you carry yourself different...your eyes sparkle more...and although I may not know you the best...I am confident that you are the best you that you have been in a long while...not perfect...but better too...

So stepping on that scale...may not give you the number that you want...but it is a victory to look at it at all...because if we had loved ourselves enough to look at it all along...there never would have been the need for this thread...cause the scale is a visual representation of ourselves...our imperfections...and loving ourselves through those imperfections...is what I have gained this year...even if the weight loss was not the amount I wanted to loose.


***Sorry for the ramble...but I needed that for me as well.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Morning. I am up and at em.

So last night I went to a cookie exchange. Friends from church. And some ladies I don't know. I had a nice time. Brought home a gaggle of different cookies, most of which are, blah. Craisen Cookies. I mean really. A Craisen! I don't eat craisens when I'm dieting, much less disrespect a cookie that way.

My house cluttered. I had to work hard just to get away last night and my house! Nevermind trying to decorate for Christmas.

Off to clean and try to get to the office at a decent hour.

 

[3DisneyKids]

Wow, slow start this morning!

I am trying like hell to tackle work stuff today. It is the same work stuff I have been tackling for like 5 days and just can't get myself to sit down and do it. But today I must. Because I leave the day after tomorrow. Yes, it really is the day after freaking tomorrow. Unlike Liz, I am not packed. I will pack on...well, I don't know. I have to work all day today, tomorrow I have a meeting and my long run and conferences all night, and Friday I have that major meeting all morning. So I really may be throwing things in a suitcase like an hour before I leave for the airport. I don't know.

As for the scale, and weigh-ins, and weight loss and all of it. We are all different and what works for one person will not work for all of us. We know that. I have an unhealthy relationship with the scale. We all know that, too. But I am ok with the fact that I have an unhealthy relationship with it. I HAD to step away from the scale. Because I was working and working and working and seeing no change on the scale. Yet I lost 2 sizes in clothes. So F the scale. But that is me. Others NEED it. And that is ok, too. I am sure if I got on the scale right now (it has been a few weeks), then I would be UP. Which would suck and plunge me into depression, not push me into reality and motivation. But again, that is me.

Ok, work to do.

Oh and Lyz...I love craisens. But they are high in calories. So I save them...yes, they have turned into a treat for me. Sad, eh?

 

[DISNEY4XMAS]

Total book crack. Seriously, isn't it impressive that two intelligent women you know are swooning over a BOOK? Like, how rockstar are WE? We get weak in the knees for the written word!



I can spin ANYTHING. Have I ever mentioned that? Also, I'm totally right.


Erika - it is that good. Drink the Kool-Aid.

Amy - No, I read the first two, got made at Stephanie and Edward and Jacob and Bella and threw it all down. Then I reread Twilight last month for book club, fell in love again, saw the movie and decided I was wrong. Reading New Moon a second time is a pleasure. I love Jacob, feel sorry for Edward, adore Bella and Stephanie has been forgiven. (She's the author, you non-Twilighters.)

Kat - thanks, babe. Eh. It will sort itself out.


OME, BED???? Swoon. Swoon.

Ok Now I am intrigued by these books! I must see if any of my nieces have them! Also I was laughing because you talked about Stephanie and Edward, Edward is my nephew and Stephanie is his girlfriend! (it's get REALLY confusing at the house at holidays Me , Steph and now another Stephanie )

So...once upon a time this was a weight loss thread. And here I am, with a weight loss issue.

I threw in the towel this weekend. And I don't want to weigh in. Because I gained and I don't want to know how much. And I don't want to go to WDW heavier than I was. Which is crazy, right? I need to get back on track TOMORROW. So I should weigh in, right? Or maybe I can push it to Thursday? But weigh in before I leave?

Thoughts?

HELP! I want to be at goal and I know the new WW program will help me focus, but in the meantime, help.

I had the same feelings Liz this Monday I had it in my head that I ate WAY to much over thanksgiving and I wasn't going to WW because cause of weigh in! But I sucked it up and went and I was only up the 0.2 so GO if you haven't yet!

SO It was sso SO busy at work last night we could have used about 4 more people. Mind you we are in a small community and the E R is bogged down with 75 people in a day! Well as of last night around 730 pm we had already had 150 people! It was NON STOP. I think there is a FLu going around so people were in and out of the hospital. No capacity protocols! Which is great! That means that they didn't discharge people in the middle of the night so they could have an extra bed to fill with a patient from the ER.

After I brought the kids to school, I sat on my butt watching NCIS and just as it got to the end the phone rang I had reminded the kids to make sure they had EVERYTHING today I wasn't running back and forth to the school! Nope Zachary forgot his spelling book! Over to the school, and Everyone that saw me said boy isn't nice that you live so close now! I was like OH YEAH! Then I was in the office signing out and the secretaries said that I am there so much I should start bringing in treats for them (they love my baking) So I mentioned Paula's fried stuffing and they were swooning over them! I have to email the recipe, What should take me about 5 mins to run over and back takes me about 30 mins because I stop and talk to EVERYONE!
So today Zac and I have to make a Sheild, it has to be in the shape of a shield and have pictures of his family and things he enjoys. When Sam did this project it was a Pumpkin a small pumpkin. If you could see the size of the paper they sent home to do the project on OMG! IT's huge! So I am going to Wal-mart to print some pictures off and Get some poster board because the thin paper that they sent home will not hold up pictures!
Any Idea's???

So again I am so jealous of you guys who leave friday! I hope that you have a blast and know THAT I WILL BE JOINING YOU Next year! (if you go)

Thanks for the everyone! One day it will either get better or it will just stop! I figure it took me 18 years to get to know my step mother and start liking her so I still have hope! My BFF kinda agreed with you E saying I am way to hard on him and that it's just not his personality to talk where mine is not to shut up! Got to love her she tells me it whether I will like what she says or not! I usually do the same for her! It's hard for me to realize that there are people out there that are introverted. I think EVERYONE SHOULD TALK AND TALK A LOT. Oh and LISA the counseling thing steph isn't much of a talker! That he would NEVER NEVER DO! Sometimes I see where nate gets his quietness from but he has brought is a step no five steps further than stephen! Stephen is shy and quiet when you first meet him but once he knows you then he is all talk! Nate nope doesn't talk at all!

Ok really need to fold laundry! and Run to town (2o miles away) to Wally World!

 

[3DisneyKids]

Ok really need to Run to town (2o miles away) to Wally World!

Wow, Steph! A 20-mile run! Good for you! That is way more than I have ever attempted! Sorry...couldn't resist.


Oh, and sorry to be a spoiler for anyone who didn't watch last night. But stupid Vicky is still there. And so is Heba, but at least I can tolerate her.

 

[amykab]

Hey Ladies,

feeling MUCH better this morning.

Liz, I had no idea about those shirts. I am thinking I need one of each. Love the dazzle one. I wore the edward shirt to WDW in october and no less than 20 people commented on it. Crazy. I also wore it out shopping last friday and some guy working at Target was like, OMG all I ever hear about is Edward Cullen. I said, well he is really hot and the guy totally rolled his eyes at me. He's probably got some girlfriend all swoony over edward. I feel bad for teenage guys. Edward sets the bar REALLY high.

It totally kills me I can't get over there this weekend. I've been trying to figure out a way that I can fit everything in. Not enough time. Can't you guys just change your trip to next weekend?? Seriously, the weather will be fanatastic and I hope you all have an awesome time.

Lyz, Hurry up and read it!!! It's not like you have anything else to do....

Erika, Kat, Lisa, Dawn,Steph

Later,
Amy

 

[DISNEY4XMAS]

Wow, Steph! A 20-mile run! Good for you! That is way more than I have ever attempted! Sorry...couldn't resist.

I actually thought about walk/jogging to the school earlier! Thats's my problem I always THINK AND NEVER DO!

 

[amykab]

Wow, Steph! A 20-mile run! Good for you! That is way more than I have ever attempted! Sorry...couldn't resist.

Me too. I ONLY do 1/2 marathons!!!

 

[Dizneydawn]

Hi all -

E -love what you said about the scale...and that is what in my saga I was trying to say...it isn't about the number...because you have been frusterated when it stalemated...but anyone who has seen you will know the rock hard bod goddess you have became is a huge difference...number or no number...

Thanks all for the well wishes- I may not post much today/tom...we leave at 5 for the airport tom...and kids semi packed- Dan packed -me-not so much...

hoping for a Christmas miracle and my @ss will fit into some things I know it will not today!

Liz - thanks for bringing up the questin of weigh in..provided a lot of us food for thought on how we feel...on who we are...and how we deal with our battle of the bulge...which always helps others...because I know that we can all take pieces from each others lives to make ours even better...

Lyz - I have to aggree with you on the cookie sacrilege...cookies are a thing not to enter into even semi-healthy...

Steph - I m proud o you for being willing to hear other's viewpoints...sometimes it is harder to do that than hear ourselves talk...not that I would know anything about that...

Amy - you still gotta try!

 

[3DisneyKids]

I actually thought about walk/jogging to the school earlier! Thats's my problem I always THINK AND NEVER DO!

Ok, I wasn't goint to admit this b/c Lyz will get all violent on me...but I often run to the school to do my volunteering. And usually catch a ride back (it is about 5.5 miles, so a round trip run would be a lot). But it is perfect biking distance. But then I would have to wear a$$ shorts. In the school. And that aint happenin.

 

[SeptemberGirl]

I just want to thank you guys for your support. I'm back to tracking today. I might even exercise. But, I am tracking. And going to the gym tomorrow.

I have decided to weigh in Friday. Because I need to be accountable this weekend. Yes, I need to track on vacation with my food and drink loving girlfriends. This is where I am letting it fall apart. Weekends. I just give up. But I have done it before and I can do it again. It's hard, this close to goal. Hard to keep it going.

I have to track this weekend and weighing in Friday will make it stick in my head. So, Kat and E, I am going to really need your help Sat-Mon. And E, probably your laptop to get to the WW site!

I'm so close, and so tired of taking steps backward. I need to get through this final stretch. And here, for those who asked, my picture of me in my "before" pants:

Thanks again. And Amy, ditch your life and come meet us! I'll wear a Twilight shirt!

 

[DISNEY4XMAS]

Ok, I wasn't goint to admit this b/c Lyz will get all violent on me...but I often run to the school to do my volunteering. And usually catch a ride back (it is about 5.5 miles, so a round trip run would be a lot). But it is perfect biking distance. But then I would have to wear a$$ shorts. In the school. And that aint happenin.

Thats to funny about the a$$ shorts! You do spandex yoga pants with the skinny Biatchy moms! Why not a$$ shorts in school??

Ok still haven't made it out of the house! I don't think I will be going just yet either! It may have to wait till this afternoon!

 

[3DisneyKids]

LIZ! HOMG! GREAT, great, skinny pic! WOW!

Ok, ok, we will track this weekend. I will b*tch and moan the ENTIRE time. But I will do it. For you.

 

[SeptemberGirl]

LIZ! HOMG! GREAT, great, skinny pic! WOW!

Ok, ok, we will track this weekend. I will b*tch and moan the ENTIRE time. But I will do it. For you.

Thanks, E. We don't have be perfect, just honest. We can do that, right? Kat?

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Oh and Lyz...I love craisens. But they are high in calories. So I save them...yes, they have turned into a treat for me. Sad, eh?

Very sad.

Ok, I wasn't goint to admit this b/c Lyz will get all violent on me...but I often run to the school to do my volunteering. And usually catch a ride back (it is about 5.5 miles, so a round trip run would be a lot). But it is perfect biking distance.

Could you be anymore of a freakshow?

I'm so close, and so tired of taking steps backward. I need to get through this final stretch.

So close. This is the hardest part. You can do it. The jeans. That pic, omg.

I totally just got into work. I spent the morning cleaning my house. And I need to run around this afternoon. Busy.