In middle school is a cel phone a necessity?

[KirstenB]

Our older dd is a 6th grader, so we're new to all this. Please go easy on me!! I saw one of the 8th graders at church today, and was just making small talk. Our kids were out of school for 2 weeks due to snow. So I asked her what she did during the snow. She said she texted her friends.

Our dd doesn't have a cel phone yet. I'm a SAHM, and her only afterschool activity is swim team through the Y. So she doesn't "need" a phone from a practical standpoint.

My question is: does she need one from a social standpoint? I do try to buy her clothes like her friends have like from Aero and Abercrombie. Also, gaming systems, etc. However, like everyone else, we have a budget to consider.

What do you guys think? We're in the country, so our cel service gets a little hit or miss anyway, depending on location.

 

[jlewisinsyr]

I was one of the first (and only) in my school to have a cell phone, but this was back in 1994 - 1995. Now almost all kids have them, I'm in different on kids getting them. I think it's a great tool for them, but it can also be a risk, and you need to be concious of what they're doing with them. My nephews have had them since they were 12 I think.

 

[Disney Ella]

It's certainly not a requirement, but it is how most kids communicate these days. My kids text me when practice is over and they get texts reminding them about student council meetings, changes to sports schedules and of course, they just send messages back and forth to their friends for fun. I wanted my kids to have a cell phone so that I could reach them when I needed to (if I was going to be late getting home from work and wouldn't be home when they got there, etc.), so for me, it really is a convenience for me and for them. Plus, it's very hard to find public telephones any more.

 

[Bluestars]

My son and many of his friends started getting cell phones in the 6th grade. I didn't get one so that he could socialize though. I got it so I could get ahold of him. There were a few kids who didn't get cell phones until 7th or 8th grade though. All of the kids my son knows in 8th grade have them.

I think that if you want her to have one, go ahead and get it. If you don't, then it won't hurt her to wait until she is older. I really like being able to contact my son when he's out bike riding or at an after school activity.

I don't think there is a right or wrong time to get a child a cell phone. I take that back. I know someone who got her 5 year old one and the little girl got it taken away from her at school. Now I think that was too young.

 

[Christine]

A cellphone can be pretty expensive for a social "need." Yes, kids text predominantly, but do you want to add a line for $9.99 and then pay for the unlimited text plan (because, believe me, that's what you'll need).

I would never get a cell phone so that my child could communicate with her friends. I would only buy one at that age if it was a convenience to ME. Both my kids got their first cell phone in 9th grade because of all the stuff that goes on afterschool. They never have set dismissal times so it is great for ME that they can call/text me 15 minutes before they are due to be let out. Stops me from sitting in parking lots for long stretches.

I do believe there are some middle school kids that would also fall into this category, so I could conceive of getting the phone then but not just so they could text their friends.

 

[sdemore]

We too watch our budget and discussed when to allow our kids to have cell phones. One of the biggest draw backs was hearing some of the astronomical phone charges some of our friends children were running up. This was about four years ago so now there are more family friendly plans out there. But even with some of the plans costs can still run high IMHO. We decided to get them pay as you go phones until they could pay for their own phone plans. T-mobile has a platinum plan that for $100 they would get 1000 minutes and the phone does not have to be topped up for 1 year. This allows them to have emergency access and still keeps the cost down. They also learned some valuable lessons on over use because we would not buy them extra time until the year was up! BTW they were 15 and 16 when we gave them the phones.

 

[mjkacmom]

Around here, cellphones are used as social tools. For example, if a group is going someplace, group text messages are used to get the word around. If you don't get the text, you don't go. My dd13 also walks to and from school, and goes from one place to the next (subway, gf's house, park, etc.). I like to keep in touch and know where she is.

Not having a celllphone (at least here) would be like not having a regular phone when I was a kid.

 

[Ohiodislover]

Won't say it is a necessity, but it certainly is a huge help when your children are in after school activities etc. I can't always answer my phone, or listen to a voice mail at work, but I can look at a quick text from DH, or my DD.

I wasn't sure about the texting thing, but we added unlimited texting, and both DH and I are liking the ability for the girls to text us with pick up times/places etc. My girls are more likely to text us than actually call. (they don't want their friends to realize they are communicating w/ mom and dad-LOL)

 

[Tweevil]

My son had a little shrek cell phone through Verizon when he was in the 3rd grade. It was only for use when there was an emergency and had 4 programmable buttons. I did this for many reasons and it did turn out to be helpful. Now he is in the 5th grade and has one - again for many reasons - I work outside the home and it is piece of mind that if he needs to get ahold of me he can - after school for instance. It stays tucked into his backpack and is there if it is needed. We use it a lot at Disney and when we go to public places. He texts more than calls me - (Mom, I am ok, Mom I will be there in 2 minutes...etc etc). He does not use it for friend conversations or anything like that.

I would do it again in a heartbeat because it is piece of mind for me. Now, if it becomes a problem (overuse or such) then he will go back to an emergency style phone.

I was told I was nuts by others but since I don't really care what others think when it comes to safety and piece of mind when it comes to my boy - it didn't bother me at all.

Hope this helps

 

[disykat]

While a child might be socially "handicapped" if they had neither email or cell phones, I see no need for both. My 17 year old got his cell for his 16th birthday and my 14 year old is waiting for the same.

If my child had friends who wouldn't invite them to things just because they couldn't text I would think those weren't very good friends anyway. My kid's friends have always been willing to call them on the home phone.

 

[Robinrs]

If you do get one for a child of that age you better off getting a prepaid phone. Yes, it can be a social tool but it is by far not a necessity for a kid that age.

I gave my son a tracfone for emergencies only when he was in middle school. It's a good time to train them in how to use or not use them. He's in high school now and still basically uses his for emergencies. He emails me from his Ipod touch when he needs to update me.

 

[ckay87]

Oh heck, are video games necessary? Oreos? TV? If you enjoy it and can afford it and are willing to pay for it and it's not hurting anyone, I don't see the problem.

This is just one issue that gets over-analyzed to death.

My middle schooler doesn't have one because we fall into category #3....not willing to pay for it.

 

[eduk8r26]

We have a 6th grader at home and he is going to get one mainly because we did away with the house phone and if the adults are not at home, there is no way to get in touch with him. He knows if he abuses the privilege, he loses it.

 

[marcyinPA]

While I don't feel that it is a necessity, it is a very convenient thing to have! My oldest (now 14.5) got his phone for Christmas in 7th grade. We really had put it off for a while, but some things had happened that gave us the push to go ahead and add him to the plan. My youngest is 10 and in fifth grade, and does not have one yet. We are considering it for Christmas in 6th grade.

My kids are very active and involved in school activities. They also walk to and from school. I will say that teachers and chaperones were often shocked when my oldest asked to borrow their cell phone to call us to pick him up after a band/sports activity. It is almost expected that all kids will have one.

We did not buy into the whole texting thing until this year, when he went to H.S. At that time, we just got a family unlimited plan as we thought it would be easier and more cost effective.

We had a lock-down incident the first week of school this year, and the students were told that the only way they could reach their parents is by texting them. We didn't have a texting plan at the time, and my concientious son would not text me After that incident, we got the texting plan.

 

[clh2]

IMHO - in 6th grade...a cell phone is needed if the parent deems it necessary for what ever reasons the parents have. In 6th grade...it is not necessary to have a cell phone for social reasons.

Now - I'm not an ogre...DD has had a cell phone since she was in 4th grade, we upgraded to giving her texting when she started high school.

DD HATED having the phone until she was in about 8th grade...then things became far more social with friend communications.

In middle school, as DD got really busy wtih extra curricular activities...a play practice ended early due to an injury (someone fell off the stage) - it is difficult when 100 kids need to use 1 phone available in the gym. Another time...on no-school day, she went on a pta-sponsored event to an indoor waterpark. They came home during an unexpected blizzard, and arrived home 3 hours later than planned. DD kept me posted on the progress of the trip home. And, DD had to call me one time when she was babysitting, as the dad accidentally locked her out of the house (she was outside with the baby) when he left.

Now that she is in high school - I love that she isn't tieing up the land-line with her drama and her friend's drama.

Again - in 6th grade, the phone should really be for the convenience of the parents.

 

[nmmom95]

My DS11 is in 6th grade and he got a cell phone this year. All of his friends seem to be getting them. The girls in his class have had them since 5th grade.
I agree with mjkacmom, texting is how they communicate.

 

[KirstenB]

Thanks for all the different opinions! Dd does have a laptop, but doesn't use email as much as I thought she would. Of course, she's the first to tell us that she's the ONLY kid without a cel phone. After asking some of her friends' parents, it sounds like about half the kids currently have a phone. I'm very un-technological myself. Not anti, more just generally clueless!!

I knew my DIS friends would help confirm or dispel. Kind of like Mythbusters!!

 

[PirateSnowmen]

I got my first cell phone in 7th grade. I really only used it to call my parents to let them know when I needed to be picked up somewhere. By the time I was in high school, I was using it all the time. Sometimes I'd realize during school that I'd need to stay after to finish a project, make up a test, get tutoring, etc., and just being able to text my dad quickly letting him know saved him hours of waiting in the parking lot.

I had a friend that didn't get a cell phone until she was 16 and it was more of a pain for me than it was for her! To get a hold of her I'd have to call her home phone, which someone was ALWAYS using. They also had dial-up internet, so their phone line was never free. If she ever had to stay after school for something, she'd always ask to borrow my phone. At times I swore she used my phone more than I did. Her mom would even call my phone sometimes to get a hold of her. It was such a pain.

 

[Robinrs]

Oh heck, are video games necessary? Oreos? TV? If you enjoy it and can afford it and are willing to pay for it and it's not hurting anyone, I don't see the problem.

This is just one issue that gets over-analyzed to death.

My middle schooler doesn't have one because we fall into category #3....not willing to pay for it.

Imagine a world where kids told US what was necessary?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Not a necessity however if my dd is out and about with friends or has afterschool stuff, it is good to have.

We got her one in 5th grade because we were moving & did not have a landline for 8 months.