In memory of...

[Michelle2010]

When we were deciding on our vows last night my DF mentioned that he would like to include something to remember his mum who passed away a few years ago. I know couples in the past have used memorial flowers and notes in the programs - does anyone have any other suggestions?

The pack Rev. Knox sent us suggests lighting a candle, DF really likes this idea, has anyone done this? If so, how did it work in practice - ie. in which part of the ceremony was it lit? Where was the candle set up? How much did the arrangement cost? I am conscious that we are also having a unity candle ceremony so don't want them to clash in any way, it also needs to be something that won't be too upsetting for DF.

Thanks for any advice

 

[keenercam]

We had lost my Mom & Dad and my husband's SF (who we considered his father in all ways that count) within the few years preceding our vow renewal. We wanted to do something special but nothing that would upset anyone or make them sad. I bought a short wide round white yankee candle and created a band of paper that went around it that said "In Loving Memory" in a pretty script print. We put that candle and a flower for each person (their favorites - a red carnation, a red rose, and a red gerber daisy) on a pedestal with that candle to the left of the alter. The candle was already lit when everyone came into the wedding pavilion, and we didn't do anything in addition to that during the ceremony except to have our loved ones mentioned in a prayer at the beginning.

I have seen where some people leave seats empty at the front of the seating and put flowers on those seats in memory of those who could not be with them. We thought that would be too upsetting to us, our kids, and my DMIL and chose something just a bit more subtle.

 

[lpizzuro123]

Here is a photo of what our ceremony site looked like. The memorial candle is off to the left. It is actually a glass vase with white floating petals and a white floating candle. Like Cam, it was already lit when the ceremony began. My DH and I did the Unity Candle during the cermony that you see on the front table.

Disney then moved it over to our reception site and put it on our cake table.

In our program we put something like the candle represents all that have pass and are not there to celebrate with us. Even though they are no longer here they live on in our hearts (or something like that - I don't remember the exact words).

I also had a small photo in a silver frame (that I purchased at Michaels in their scrapbooking department) of my mom that I pinned to my bouquet. She passed away a few years before we were married.

I know you said it was your DF's mom but maybe he could add a photo of her to something he is wearing. I saw a wedding show a few years ago where the guys brother had passed away and the bride bought him cufflinks that you could put a photo in and she had put a photo of his brother in and gave them to him as a wedding gift.

Linda

 

[lurkyloo]

Our tribute to my mother was to play the theme from her favorite movie during the time when she would have been walking down the aisle. We noted it in the program so no one would wonder why there wasn't anyone coming down the aisle at that point.

 

[Michelle2010]

Thanks for all the great suggestions everyone, I'll have a chat to DF to see which he prefers

 

[DISNEY*lover]

We had a moment of silence in the ceremony and made an in memory of section. For the reception I made an in memory of candle with a poem for my deceased family on it and put their individual photos in frames and had a display on the seating chart table. Everyone loved it and was extremely touched by it.