In-law's traveling to Disney with us

[Kristian]

We are heading back to Disney September 6th-13th and my dh’s mother and step-father will be joining us on this trip. They have never been to Disney, so I am trying to think of ways to better prepare them for the trip. They adopted their two grandson’s, who will be four and seven, and it will be their first time going as well. I’m a little apprehensive with traveling to Disney with another family because we have our own way of doing Disney….I think everyone does. We usually get to the parks at rope drop and stay late or take advantage of evening EMH if possible. We do breaks, but not necessarily always back at our resort because DD (5) isn’t much of a “napper”, even at Disney. We usually sit in the park and people watch for a while or we hop on the monorail and take a few loops or what have you. I find that the lower crowds in September make for much more manageable longer days and it works well for us. I’m the planner in the family and dh’s mom has asked me to just plan everything and while that sounds great, it makes me nervous. I think it’s important that we have some separate family time throughout the trip as well as doing things together as one group. Dh’s mom agreed to having separate family time; however when I have talked with her about plan’s and trying to incorporate some things into the itinerary that they would like to do, she just says that they’ll do whatever were going to do. Don’t get me wrong, I get along well with dh’s family; however I think that it is important that we have some time just to spend with our own individual families. Any suggestions on how to get them more involved in planning? Any advice (besides going solo)

 

[HopperFan]

Since TS now requires CC guarantee they will not be able to just wing those - combined with, you don't think she will hold up all day and have two young kids not used to it ....... rest for them may be key for successful trip for them.

Why don't you book some special TS meals (plus extra time) just for your family at lunch. Book them. Then once you are comfortable with your plan let her know that you have set up your family time and give her options for theirs: They could park hop or stay eating at a CS when and where they want, They can return to hotel for rest/swim and lunch there or They can try to book a TS that day when they know what they feel like doing. I would offer her a time to meet up later so you reinforce your family time but you are open to spending morning/evening with them. My style would even draw a block style schedule and my family time would be set aside for them to see so we could plan our together time. We found those mid-day splits or just meeting up for the first time late afternoon are healthy and give everyone a chance to do what they really want to do.

Our best group trips involved time apart, our most stressful were those when it was non-stop together. We all tour different by nature so expecting anyone to change their style adds stress.

 

[seus-mouse]

Like you said everyone has their own style of touring and they run out of energy differently.

When we took my mom I kept an eye for when she hit the wall, so to speak. We can stay and play all day and yet often take a midday hotel break, so it was easy once I saw she was done and needed to get back to some peace and quiet, to relax, watch some tv, swim...etc.
My DH's mom is harder to read, won't mention she's tired and just snap at some point and need to hustle away from the crowds and noise. His dad is more commando than us and WE were dragging butt keeping up with him! They are separated so it was an entirely different time.

Add the young kids to the mix and it really depends on them too. Our girls will always go until closing time and limp back with broken flip-flops! ...my nieces and nephews are done early and start getting grouchy so bringing them back to the pool at the hotel is the best option.

My guess, and it's only a guess, is that you might end up happily bringing them back to relax at the hotel earlier than you are used to. Make that feel ok for them and just use that later time to go back and stay later and have some of your own time. Everyone will be happier the next day.
Make sure you communicate the plan early though, as we have had mildly hurt feelings when someone that wanted to stay and relax at the resort thought we were staying as well.

Of course the time we used 14 days out of the 14 day Orlando flex pass plus really gave my MIL an idea that we'd be spending SOME time apart.


Have a great time,
Holly

 

[ajwolfe]

I understand where you are coming from. We are traveling with another family this time...And while they have agreed we should each have our own family time, there really hasn't been any mention of that much in the plans. lol. For the most part, we are eating every meal together and tried to plan FP+ together. My boys will go from opening to EMH and limp back to the resort, but I know the other family will not be like this so I expect for their to be kind of a natural indication of when we need to split up and go our seperate ways in the evening.
Have you planned anything special for just your family? My kids are doing the Pirates League by themselves one morning, which will lend itself to a couple hours on our own that day.

 

[msmama]

My MIL (ex MIL actually) leaned over to me on the second day and said, "I had no idea it was like this, we never could have done it without you." It was the nicest thing she's ever said to me, lol.

I do think it's impossible to prepare someone for Disney. My in-laws got totally flustered just by ordering food. If she's really that clueless then maybe spend the first few days together and then separate.

Are all the kids the same gender? Maybe you could take your daughter to do some girly princess things while the others do something else. Are some more daredevil than others? That could be a natural separation point.

Or maybe you could do something like on your MK day, split up and have your family do adventureland while they do tomorrowland, meet for lunch and then switch. Another option is to split up in different groups (not always your family vs theirs). They can watch your kids while you have a nice dinner and then repay the favor.

 

[ADVentive]

We went with my in laws and I did all of the planning for what we were going to do. They wanted to just wing it and didn't feel the need for a plan. So we gave them our schedule and said this is what we are doing, you can join us or not for any part. I was surprised that we saw them surprisingly little. And then they were mad at us for not spending more time with them! ???

 

[Kristian]

Thanks everyone for chiming in I have made a BBB reservation for dd on our second MK day at the castle at noon. I explained BBB and the Pirates League to dmil and she is pretty excited to have the boys do PL, so I think that it would work out well for them to try to get a ressie around the same time as dd's BBB ressie. This would allow for us to have some family time together and then maybe get lunch separately. As for the rest of the time, I know that they will more than likely tire a lot more quickly than we will, so I expect them to want to call it quits before we do. I have no problem at all with doing our meals together for the most part and I know that the kids will want to ride some rides together and I look forward to that as well. Dmil also wants take our dd at times on the trip to allow dh and I time together and we will gladly accept that gesture as well I just want the trip to work out well and for everyone to have a good time without jumping down each other's throats KWIM? They actually have an extra day of park tickets than we do because we like having a full day off from the parks in the middle of our trip and they decided that they would rather do a park that day instead, which is absolutely fine because I want them to experience Disney too and do what they want to do as well.

 

[esquared221]

We traveled with my inlaws and husband's brother and sister AND their kids a few years ago. It could have been a nightmare (less with DH's parents but more with his siblings) but what saved us was the time we spent away from each other. My husband is the planner so he made the dinner reservations and we ate together for one meal a day but the rest of time there was a natural split-off; one kid wanted to ride this ride, the others wanted that other one. It worked out more naturally than I had expected. I was prepared for the worst vacation of my life but it didnt turn out that bad We were also lucky enough to have our own suite where as my in-laws and the siblings and all the kids stayed together in another suite. My in-laws said they'd go again with us but NEVER again with the rest of them

 

[dcod1974]

I think if you set expectations up front, you'll have a lot less jumping down each others throats. For example, if you want to be at rope drop and are catching the 7:30 bus, and they aren't there, make sure they know (up front) that you would leave in that scenario and they could call your mobile to catch up with you later. As a way of broaching the exact same scenario with my and the DW's families, I sent a bunch of free web surveys giving multiple choice questions that not only help set their expectations about how others might travel, but also my own about what they might be expecting. Before we leave, we will be able to have a more informed discussion about what our combined trip will look like. Good luck!