In laws Grrrrrrrrr

[lovetoscrap]

I just have to ask, is anyone else here (except LuvOrlando) really craving cheesecake right now? I know I am!

 

[ols386]

OP, it takes you 4 hours to make a cheese cake? Wow.
I just made one over the weekend and I think it took me about 20 minutes. I'm sure your's is better than mine, lol.

If I were you, I think I would politely ask MIL and FIL to bring a cheese cake, if they want one that badly. No reason to get yourself all worked up, especially when it sounds like that's what the MIL is trying to do in the first place.

 

[Dee77]

Have any of you ever seen the movie Runaway Jury with John Cusack, Dustin Hoffman and Gene Hackman? Towards the beginning of the movie, Gene Hackman's character is speaking with a cab driver and he picks up on the stress the driver is under with the choices he has to make about his ailing mother and his wife whom his mother does not like. He responds to the driver by saying "re-think the nursing home, better to have an unhappy mother than an unfriendly wife"

 

[LuvOrlando]

Here is the very yummy cheese cake we had for Thanksgiving and that I made last week for DH's office party.

http://www.tasteofhome.com/Recipes/Layered-Turtle-Cheesecake

It really is super yummy and fairly easy... I just don't want it again. I spoke with my husband a little bit ago and the truth is that even though I'm sick of the darn thing I would have probably come around today and made it anyway if all the nonsense that went on yesterday didn't happen. This isn't about the cake, it's about my MIL & FIL trying to see if they can lean on me, and they can't so it's making them nutty

I am sooo going to love my Christmas cookies.

PS- I was in Wal-mart and saw 2 things I am considering. They had a small SaraLee for $5.12 that I am thinking about picking up and covering with chocolate... MIL will HATE it... she is so picky. Another option is I noticed that Cool Whip makes a Cheesecake instant filling which was out next to the other Cool Whips and I'm thinking of putting that in a pie plate and playing dumb... I can tell her I bought it at a cake sale. Harumph... DH probably won't let me, he doesn't like my dark side so much He'll be all and just tell them "No".

 

[Manhattan Princess]

Here is the very yummy cheese cake we had for Thanksgiving and that I made last week for DH's office party.

http://www.tasteofhome.com/Recipes/Layered-Turtle-Cheesecake

It really is super yummy and fairly easy... I just don't want it again. .

I don't get it, where did the "four hours" it took you to make it come from that recipe? I totally get being sick of a dessert, but I often make desserts for my family that they like, that I would never eat. Seems like that 40 minutes of effort for an appreciative result would be worth it to me. And you can still have all the cookies you want!

 

[LuvOrlando]

Between the shell and the cooling and the steps and the time in the oven and the cooling and the drizzling and the Grand Marnier and the fact I am super duper slow it did take a really long time... I'm no TV channel chef I tells ya.

 

[manning]

Two things will solve this

1. Plan and do move away. My grandmother had a saying. "live close to your children, but not close enough so you can see their chimney." Same applies to parents.

2. Sit your husband down and inform him he has two choices and he better choose carefully.

 

[Binnie]

I'm a bad person. If in your shoes, I fear I would make sure I had cheese and cake and then I would play dumb.

 

[wdwmom2]

I just have to ask, is anyone else here (except LuvOrlando) really craving cheesecake right now? I know I am!

Actually, yes! This thread got me to looking at the Cheesecake Factory website and deciding to have my DD pick one up when she comes up for Christmas dinner!!! I can't remember the exact name, something like Chocolate Tuxedo. It looked scrumptious!!!!

 

[roscoepc1]

2 Ex-Lax mini chocolate cheesecakes. Make sure Grandpa doesn't eat it. Make his fave whatever so he doesn't.

My mil is the same...very competitive, when she does NOTHING on her side compared to my parents (Ie, "Isn't it time for your mother to take a turn?" in a snotty voice, if you ask for childcare for something important....even dh says if she watched the kids from now til Hell freezes over she couldn't "catch up" to my Mom!.... then complains we never ask her!)

I'm now "worse than L***", who is her other dil who doesn't bend down and worship at her altar....L*** and I both think that's hilarious!

I'm serious, dead serious, about my suggestion, btw....flame away.

 

[cm8]

As my Mom would say..... are her arms broken?

If she wants cc she can MAKE it herself. It must really eat away at you how your husband defends her behavior. I darn sure would not be serving her up Sunday dinner either, not with that attitude. Do what is best for you, she seems to have no problem with it.

 

[Manhattan Princess]

I don't want to flame, but I am baffled about the people encouraging the OP to make a bad cheesecake. The MIL crossed some lines, but I honestly feel that the OP's "no cheesecake on MY table" was just as controlling and silly, and fanned the flames that made the situation that much worse. Aside from the exaggerated make time for the cheesecake the OP gave, there are some great cheesecakes out there to buy, if she doesn't want to be bothered making them. Why make a war over it? I know when I go home there are certain things I associate with the holidays and would be upset if they weren't there. It is a compliment that the MIL likes the cheesecake so much, no matter how people try to spin it. And, if I were served simply cookies for dessert on Christmas? I would probably feel let down. Cookies are my snack until dessert item, not the actual dessert.

 

[roscoepc1]

I don't want to flame, but I am baffled about the people encouraging the OP to make a bad cheesecake. The MIL crossed some lines, but I honestly feel that the OP's "no cheesecake on MY table" was just as controlling and silly, and fanned the flames that made the situation that much worse. Aside from the exaggerated make time for the cheesecake the OP gave, there are some great cheesecakes out there to buy, if she doesn't want to be bothered making them. Why make a war over it? I know when I go home there are certain things I associate with the holidays and would be upset if they weren't there. It is a compliment that the MIL likes the cheesecake so much, no matter how people try to spin it. And, if I were served simply cookies for dessert on Christmas? I would probably feel let down. Cookies are my snack until dessert item, not the actual dessert.

I'm guessing your mil isn't a narcissistic control freak? Sometimes, when your mil is a pita, and you've literally spent YEARS trying to get along, the cheesecake hits the fan (pun intended), and a line in the sand has to be drawn. It's that simple.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Worship at her alter...
And the other poster, sacrificed to the god(s) of MIL or inlaws...

OMG, you people, do we have the same inlaws!!!

This has been my inlaws (now just mil) exactly!!!

We must travel to their home/alter and worship weekly...
Seriously. I mean, show up, bend down, and worship.

You know what... this year, I am not really making ANYTHING for Christmas dinner at MIL's.... I have always brought some wonderful home-made items for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Especially since I have issues with food and chemical sensitivities, and she serves things that are pre-processed and come out of a box or freezer.

She has always had a huge 'harumph' that I actually prepared nice additions to her holiday meal... But, Thanksgiving was the real kicker... she purposefully timed the processed turkey breast loaf to come out late, at the last minute, and was not going to give me 10 minutes to brown the fresh yeast rolls and warm my cornbread dressing. I mean, literally, she is blocking the oven, cutting that thing, just steaming hot, trying to get it on the table as fast as she could.

Ohh well, after that, I now have no guilt whatsoever about showing up empty handed. I plan to roast a nice ham and have our own little Christmas Dinner here at home on Christmas Eve.

Ohhhh, the holidays are just so much fun with relatives like this!!!

Maybe the one thing I will bring this year is some good wine...

 

[Wishing on a star]

a narcissistic control freak

OMG!!!!
Somebody else even has the correct scientific terminology down!!!

 

[C.Ann]

MIL is not going to change.

Once DD realized this about her IL's her life (and all of our lives) became much, much easier.. Of course none of us have changed either - and no one is jumping through hoops - but there's just this silent "understanding" that we're all different people and there are going to be times when things need (or should) be done differently that not everyone is going to be in agreement about - but will make the best of it..

I would buy a cheesecake and throw away the box...

 

[LindaG4458]

Worship at her alter...
And the other poster, sacrificed to the god(s) of MIL or inlaws...

OMG, you people, do we have the same inlaws!!!

This has been my inlaws (now just mil) exactly!!!

We must travel to their home/alter and worship weekly...
Seriously. I mean, show up, bend down, and worship.

You know what... this year, I am not really making ANYTHING for Christmas dinner at MIL's.... I have always brought some wonderful home-made items for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Especially since I have issues with food and chemical sensitivities, and she serves things that are pre-processed and come out of a box or freezer.

She has always had a huge 'harumph' that I actually prepared nice additions to her holiday meal... But, Thanksgiving was the real kicker... she purposefully timed the processed turkey breast loaf to come out late, at the last minute, and was not going to give me 10 minutes to brown the fresh yeast rolls and warm my cornbread dressing. I mean, literally, she is blocking the oven, cutting that thing, just steaming hot, trying to get it on the table as fast as she could.

Ohh well, after that, I now have no guilt whatsoever about showing up empty handed. I plan to roast a nice ham and have our own little Christmas Dinner here at home on Christmas Eve.

Ohhhh, the holidays are just so much fun with relatives like this!!!

Maybe the one thing I will bring this year is some good wine...

My MIL never blocked me from amything I brought to her house, but she did sabotage an old family recipe when I asked for it. It took 18 years for me to accidentally add too much flour to the Butterhorn recipe and have it come out better than ever before. They didn't collapse into cookies instead of nice puffy rolls. All she ever said for those years was "I never have that problem, heh, heh, heh". Now I've perfected them to make the dough in the bread machine. Her daughter asked me for the recipe.

She couldn't stand competing with anyone who was as good or better a cook as she was. DFIL's brother married a terrific Italian cook. DMIL hated her in part because of it.

 

[roscoepc1]

Worship at her alter...
And the other poster, sacrificed to the god(s) of MIL or inlaws...

OMG, you people, do we have the same inlaws!!!

This has been my inlaws (now just mil) exactly!!!

We must travel to their home/alter and worship weekly...
Seriously. I mean, show up, bend down, and worship.

You know what... this year, I am not really making ANYTHING for Christmas dinner at MIL's.... I have always brought some wonderful home-made items for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Especially since I have issues with food and chemical sensitivities, and she serves things that are pre-processed and come out of a box or freezer.

She has always had a huge 'harumph' that I actually prepared nice additions to her holiday meal... But, Thanksgiving was the real kicker... she purposefully timed the processed turkey breast loaf to come out late, at the last minute, and was not going to give me 10 minutes to brown the fresh yeast rolls and warm my cornbread dressing. I mean, literally, she is blocking the oven, cutting that thing, just steaming hot, trying to get it on the table as fast as she could.
Ohh well, after that, I now have no guilt whatsoever about showing up empty handed. I plan to roast a nice ham and have our own little Christmas Dinner here at home on Christmas Eve.

Ohhhh, the holidays are just so much fun with relatives like this!!!

Maybe the one thing I will bring this year is some good wine...

Oh lordie....they ARE related! My mom has Celiac disease, and when my youngest was Baptised, I planned a fully Gluten-free meal so Mom (for a change) wouldn't have to watch everyone else eat stuff she couldn't enjoy...the meal was DELICIOUS, btw, not crap! And mil shows up with wheat-flour rolls, b/c "a meal just isn't a meal without some bread!"... She knew dam* well why I planned the meal the way I did, I SPECIFICALLY told her when she asked if she could bring anything!

That side of the family is the only one that serves wine with dinner (most of my family doesn't drink wine)....the wine is the ONLY way I make it through holiday dinners!

 

[LuvOrlando]

I don't want to flame, but I am baffled about the people encouraging the OP to make a bad cheesecake. The MIL crossed some lines, but I honestly feel that the OP's "no cheesecake on MY table" was just as controlling and silly, and fanned the flames that made the situation that much worse. Aside from the exaggerated make time for the cheesecake the OP gave, there are some great cheesecakes out there to buy, if she doesn't want to be bothered making them. Why make a war over it? I know when I go home there are certain things I associate with the holidays and would be upset if they weren't there. It is a compliment that the MIL likes the cheesecake so much, no matter how people try to spin it. And, if I were served simply cookies for dessert on Christmas? I would probably feel let down. Cookies are my snack until dessert item, not the actual dessert.

I didn't realize it was controlling to say what I would or wouldn't do with my own hands... that's a first. Do you do whatever other people tell you to do? If so I suppose you and she would get along great, until she got ticked you don't fight back because that's her main gripe about my BIL. Whenever DH's sister and her family are here she grinds on their nerves and then says, "I wish he would just come back at me."

My MIL actually dislikes cheesecake, if I've heard the woman complain once about how awful they are if they are too cheesy (whatever that means) I've heard it a million times. She never had this cheesecake, in fact it was offered to her the day after Thanksgiving and she snubbed it. Trust me, she doesn't give a hoot about the cheesecake. What this woman DOES care about is getting people to ask "How high" when she says "Jump."

The cheesecake is a metaphor... we'll it's real life but it's not about the cheesecake.

 

[LuvOrlando]

A big fat out there to everyone who understands!

Heaven help me to NOT be like this with the people who marry my kids... if i am I hope someone will be around to give me a kick in the keister