LuluLovesDisney
<font color=red>If you're not outraged, you're not
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2005
- Messages
- 5,274
Ludacris said:hey duck, do you ever NOT complain?
There were no complaints in that quote you posted. However, you did prove more about who you really are than you might realize by that post. Do you really need to go through this trouble?
To the OP-
I'm sorry that your in laws were so inconsiderate. Do they have other grandkids? I'm just trying to figure out why they might have done this.
If you need to hash it out with your MIL for her antics, just do so while the kids are out of earshot. Is it more MIL or is it both?
Although kids' parties might not be the highlight of other people's lives, I have to admit that I enjoy my young nephews' parties. I even dressed as a pirate and hand painted a pirate chest and filled it with presents for my nephew's party last spring. Whatever the theme, Aunt Lulu will play along. Just to see the smile on their faces. Just to hear six months later "Lulu, do you benember when . . . " Just to know I helped give them a good memory. It sounds like you're a perfectionist like me. I know it bothers me when other people don't seem to want to try to do the right thing.
Not everyone is like we are. Some people just don't think the same way. I remember how exciting birthdays were as a child and I want my loved ones to feel that excitement of their very own special day.Part of that excitement is that your whole family comes over just for you. I am sure you wanted that for your DD as well. I'm sure her birthday was wonderful, even if it wasn't perfect.
You can't control people's choices unfortunately. Just make sure that your DD knows that people express love in different ways. I'm sure her grandparents do love her, even if they made a selfish choice. Selfish and inconsiderate people can still love us, you know? It's actually an important thing to accept in life- that people that love us can do things that upset us sometimes. If they're just flaky or inconsiderate, and not really mean or harmful, or malevolent people, it might be better to bite your tongue and keep them in your children's lives rather than alienate them. I don't think that their choice was considerate or what most grandparents would have done, but I do know you can't change people. It's better to have imperfect people in their lives than not at all, you know?
My mom (6 grandkids) always asks about the "other" grandmother of 2 of her grandsons (my nephews) - "How could she do that?" because the "other" GM only sees them maybe once or twice a year, and now even less. She moved to Florida. Even when the kids see her, she buys them expensive things and ignores them most of the time. Everyone is different.
All you can do is your best. Good luck! And if your DD can name all the princesses at age 2, you're doing a FANTASTIC job!
(hey, it's got to be worth something) is that people hold very different core beliefs. It's great when you can get with people that hold your same core beliefs but watch out if you don't. A big core belief is "family time" and how it should be spent and how important those times are. Bottom line is that some people find family events to be must-do's, obligations, and everyone should love to be there and other people find them to be nice but not mandatory. Neither belief is wrong AT ALL. But it is wrong when one person tries to force their belief on another. 
Your advice is wonderful and the next time my in-laws do something that makes me angry and hurts DH, I will remember your words and offer hugs and kisses instead of nasty comments about his parents. (I'll save the nasty comments about them to share with my DIS family 
).
