In-Law Vent

[LindsayDunn228]

What did I say that is "anti-kids"?

I think "my OWN kid's birthdays weren't the hightlight of my week" was it. Just made me feel sad for your kids.

 

[BuckNaked]

I think "my OWN kid's birthdays weren't the hightlight of my week" was it. Just made me feel sad for your kids.

Try re-reading honey. That isn't what I said.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Pardon me, you said your kid's birthday parties. My mistake, sugar. I still feel bad for your kids.

 

[BuckNaked]

Pardon me, you said your kid's birthday parties. My mistake. I still feel bad for your kids.

And why would that be? Because we don't let them believe that they are the center of the universe and that everyone else's lives need to revolve around them?

 

[LindsayDunn228]

And why would that be? Because we don't let them believe that they are the center of the universe and that everyone else's lives need to revolve around them?

No, not at all. I don't think kids need to be the center of the parent's universe. You just came across as callous, IMO. But whatever. You probably aren't, and I'm sure you love your kids.

 

[Planogirl]

I can see both sides. I spent a ton of time with my Grandmother and we had great times. I don't remember her ever making a special point of coming for a birthday though but maybe it was because she was so much at other times.

I will admit that birthdays are not a big deal in my family. We share gifts and try to do something fun but parties were rare and much of the family doesn't even celebrate in any fashion.

 

[Pinnie]

My question is "Did the 2 yr old care?"

My guess is that all the kid cared about is the presents. So grandma drops another one over later.... Two yr old figures this is a cool deal..MORE stuff on another day!

After 30 yrs of inlaws, I learned to pick my battles.

pinnie

 

[Ludacris]

No, not at all. I don't think kids need to be the center of the parent's universe. You just came across as callous, IMO. But whatever. You probably aren't, and I'm sure you love your kids.

hey duck, do you ever NOT complain?

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Forget it. Not worth it.

 

[Ludacris]

Ludicris, I am not "duck." Back off, Newbie.

yeah, you duck.

 

[momrek06]

hey duck, do you ever NOT complain?

"duck"... .....

 

[LindsayDunn228]

"duck"... .....

Yeah really.

 

[scanne]

No, not at all. I don't think kids need to be the center of the parent's universe.

My life is my family. If I'm putting my kids at the center of my universe, that's my business, isn't it?

What is so wrong with giving a child, a person, a mother, a father, a sister, a brother, a parent (you get the idea ) ONE day to celebrate who they are?!? That is what a birthday is in my opinion. To me, it was very sad that my IL's chose to go to the casino instead of spending DD's actual birthday with her. Does she realize this at age 2? No, of course not. Do I realize that this is shallow and self-centered? At age 31, YES I DO. Is it my opinion? YES, but DH shares the opinion. If you don't, that is your opinion. I don't have to agree with you and you don't have to agree with me.

But I think it is very sad when a parent doesn't let their child feel important/special (i.e. CENTER OF THEIR UNIVERSE) at least for one day of the year. When you were in labor with these children were you thinking, "Geez, I'd rather be getting a pedicure than creating this BEAUTIFUL MIRACLE???!???!?" I look at my children each and every day and tell them I love them, smother them with hugs and kisses and let them know just how important they are to me. They are the center of my universe! I LOVE THEM MORE THAN ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!! DH feels the same way. Our kids are amazing individuals and it is such a blessing to watch them grow!!!

It totally makes me angry that our society is so worried about creating little spoiled brats with this "my kids are not the center of my universe." My kids know they are loved. They are very giving, loving children in return. This is a gift I've given them that they are giving me right back. Not a day goes by when my DS doesn't go "Mom? I love you!" Wow - how awesome is that??? DH and I taught them that expressing our love for each other is a beautiful thing. My own parents AND my DH grew up NOT being able to express this. How sad.


It sounds like a lot of posters here don't believe in saying "I love you." No, you didn't SAY that, but from things some of you have posted, it sure sounds like you're a bit uptight to say these beautiful words to your children. I sure hope I'm wrong. Love is not a bad thing. Kids being the center of your universe isn't a bad thing. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. But if you don't feel this way, then you can't comment on my original post because obviously previous plans are previous plans and NO child is worth changing plans for - to some of you.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

My life is my family. If I'm putting my kids at the center of my universe, that's my business, isn't it?

What is so wrong with giving a child, a person, a mother, a father, a sister, a brother, a parent (you get the idea ) ONE day to celebrate who they are?!? That is what a birthday is in my opinion. To me, it was very sad that my IL's chose to go to the casino instead of spending DD's actual birthday with her. Does she realize this at age 2? No, of course not. Do I realize that this is shallow and self-centered? At age 31, YES I DO. Is it my opinion? YES, but DH shares the opinion. If you don't, that is your opinion. I don't have to agree with you and you don't have to agree with me.

But I think it is very sad when a parent doesn't let their child feel important/special (i.e. CENTER OF THEIR UNIVERSE) at least for one day of the year. When you were in labor with these children were you thinking, "Geez, I'd rather be getting a pedicure than creating this BEAUTIFUL MIRACLE???!???!?" I look at my children each and every day and tell them I love them, smother them with hugs and kisses and let them know just how important they are to me. They are the center of my universe! I LOVE THEM MORE THAN ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!! DH feels the same way. Our kids are amazing individuals and it is such a blessing to watch them grow!!!

It totally makes me angry that our society is so worried about creating little spoiled brats with this "my kids are not the center of my universe." My kids know they are loved. They are very giving, loving children in return. This is a gift I've given them that they are giving me right back. Not a day goes by when my DS doesn't go "Mom? I love you!" Wow - how awesome is that??? DH and I taught them that expressing our love for each other is a beautiful thing. My own parents AND my DH grew up NOT being able to express this. How sad.


It sounds like a lot of posters here don't believe in saying "I love you." No, you didn't SAY that, but from things some of you have posted, it sure sounds like you're a bit uptight to say these beautiful words to your children. I sure hope I'm wrong. Love is not a bad thing. Kids being the center of your universe isn't a bad thing. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. But if you don't feel this way, then you can't comment on my original post because obviously previous plans are previous plans and NO child is worth changing plans for - to some of you.

Great post!!

 

[Planogirl]

But if you don't feel this way, then you can't comment on my original post because obviously previous plans are previous plans and NO child is worth changing plans for - to some of you.

I think that when you post something on a public message board, you'd better be prepared to get all kinds of responses. I'm not one of those that said you were wrong in your original post but I don't agree with telling people that they can't post because they don't agree with you.

 

[teacherforhi]

My life is my family. If I'm putting my kids at the center of my universe, that's my business, isn't it?

What is so wrong with giving a child, a person, a mother, a father, a sister, a brother, a parent (you get the idea ) ONE day to celebrate who they are?!? That is what a birthday is in my opinion. To me, it was very sad that my IL's chose to go to the casino instead of spending DD's actual birthday with her. Does she realize this at age 2? No, of course not. Do I realize that this is shallow and self-centered? At age 31, YES I DO. Is it my opinion? YES, but DH shares the opinion. If you don't, that is your opinion. I don't have to agree with you and you don't have to agree with me.

But I think it is very sad when a parent doesn't let their child feel important/special (i.e. CENTER OF THEIR UNIVERSE) at least for one day of the year. When you were in labor with these children were you thinking, "Geez, I'd rather be getting a pedicure than creating this BEAUTIFUL MIRACLE???!???!?" I look at my children each and every day and tell them I love them, smother them with hugs and kisses and let them know just how important they are to me. They are the center of my universe! I LOVE THEM MORE THAN ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!! DH feels the same way. Our kids are amazing individuals and it is such a blessing to watch them grow!!!

It totally makes me angry that our society is so worried about creating little spoiled brats with this "my kids are not the center of my universe." My kids know they are loved. They are very giving, loving children in return. This is a gift I've given them that they are giving me right back. Not a day goes by when my DS doesn't go "Mom? I love you!" Wow - how awesome is that??? DH and I taught them that expressing our love for each other is a beautiful thing. My own parents AND my DH grew up NOT being able to express this. How sad.


It sounds like a lot of posters here don't believe in saying "I love you." No, you didn't SAY that, but from things some of you have posted, it sure sounds like you're a bit uptight to say these beautiful words to your children. I sure hope I'm wrong. Love is not a bad thing. Kids being the center of your universe isn't a bad thing. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. But if you don't feel this way, then you can't comment on my original post because obviously previous plans are previous plans and NO child is worth changing plans for - to some of you.

Everything in this post is about YOU. Your kids...

YOU gave birth to them. YOU see them every day and shower them with kisses and that's great. What does that have to do with your mother-in-law? Was she supposed to share labor with you?

I don't think society is at all worried about creating brats. It seems to me that most parents are busy telling the world "Stop everything you're doing and worship my child!"

I see this at school constantly. Parents want the world to stop for their child. One parent wanted me to reschedule a field trip because her child was going to be out that day to go to the beach. Sorry...the world doesn't revolve around him, but he'll never know it because she complained high and low about it wasn't fair to him and how I was "mean".

I don't have children, but I have a 4-year-old niece. I missed her 2nd and 3rd birthday parties due to work committments. Does she remember? No. Does she care? No. Does she think I don't love her? I certainly hope not considering I'm flying her to Disney in a month. (Big sister trip. She just got a brother and needs her special time.) Just because someone refuses to cater to your every whim doesn't mean that they don't love you.

 

[BuckNaked]

My life is my family. If I'm putting my kids at the center of my universe, that's my business, isn't it?

Of course it is, and no one said it wasn't.

What is so wrong with giving a child, a person, a mother, a father, a sister, a brother, a parent (you get the idea ) ONE day to celebrate who they are?!?

There is nothing wrong with that at all, and I don't think anyone has said that there is.

But I think it is very sad when a parent doesn't let their child feel important/special (i.e. CENTER OF THEIR UNIVERSE) at least for one day of the year.

And once again I'll ask, who said anything about not letting a child feel important/special on their birthday? I just don't happen to believe that the only way to do that is to make a child feel like someone doesn't "truly love" them because they didn't come to a party.

When you were in labor with these children were you thinking, "Geez, I'd rather be getting a pedicure than creating this BEAUTIFUL MIRACLE???!???!?"

Hmmm...with my first I was thinking "Please get this baby out of me" (after almost 72 hours of labor, I think I was entitled ). With my second, I was thinking "Why didn't I get to the hospital in time to get my epidural?" Of course I was thrilled with the birth of each of my children, but my life didn't end the day their's began.

I look at my children each and every day and tell them I love them, smother them with hugs and kisses and let them know just how important they are to me.

Guess what? So do I.

They are the center of my universe!

As are mine, but I don't expect them to be the center of everyone ELSE'S universe.

It totally makes me angry that our society is so worried about creating little spoiled brats with this "my kids are not the center of my universe."

Apparently you are not reading what is actually being written. There is nothing wrong with children being the center of the parents' universe. The problem is when the parents (and then the kids) believe they are or should be the center of everyone ELSE'S universe.

It sounds like a lot of posters here don't believe in saying "I love you."

Good God, where did THAT come from?

No, you didn't SAY that, but from things some of you have posted, it sure sounds like you're a bit uptight to say these beautiful words to your children. I sure hope I'm wrong.

Yes, you are. The silly assumptions that people make just because other don't do things the EXACT same way or don't put the same emphasis on a birthday party for a two year old.

But if you don't feel this way, then you can't comment on my original post because obviously previous plans are previous plans and NO child is worth changing plans for - to some of you.

I believe that we are free to comment on whatever we like, thanks. My kids are worth changing MY plans for, but I don't expect them to be worth changing everyone ELSE'S plans for.

 

[scanne]

teacherforhi,
I totally agree with your statement

I see this at school constantly. Parents want the world to stop for their child. One parent wanted me to reschedule a field trip because her child was going to be out that day to go to the beach.

As a teacher, I too, have had parents call me and ask me to reschedule things for when it is convenient for them/their child. It is a very difficult situation to deal with.

And you're right - my previous post was all about ME and MY family. My MIL would have LOVED to be in the L&D room with me with both my births. But now she only will see the kids when it's convenient for her and her trips to the casino. I think she's selfish. Period. If she didn't expect everyone to drop everything for her, then I wouldn't really have an issue. It's just that she thinks the universe revolves around HER, so when I plan a party for my DD and she'd rather give Trump her money, then I take issue. End of story.

BTW, the in-laws are here now. They brought NO gifts. But wanted cake and attention from my kids. Selfish, selfish, selfish. No more to say.

 

[disneyjunkie]

My life is my family. If I'm putting my kids at the center of my universe, that's my business, isn't it?

What is so wrong with giving a child, a person, a mother, a father, a sister, a brother, a parent (you get the idea ) ONE day to celebrate who they are?!? That is what a birthday is in my opinion. To me, it was very sad that my IL's chose to go to the casino instead of spending DD's actual birthday with her. Does she realize this at age 2? No, of course not. Do I realize that this is shallow and self-centered? At age 31, YES I DO. Is it my opinion? YES, but DH shares the opinion. If you don't, that is your opinion. I don't have to agree with you and you don't have to agree with me.

But I think it is very sad when a parent doesn't let their child feel important/special (i.e. CENTER OF THEIR UNIVERSE) at least for one day of the year. When you were in labor with these children were you thinking, "Geez, I'd rather be getting a pedicure than creating this BEAUTIFUL MIRACLE???!???!?" I look at my children each and every day and tell them I love them, smother them with hugs and kisses and let them know just how important they are to me. They are the center of my universe! I LOVE THEM MORE THAN ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!! DH feels the same way. Our kids are amazing individuals and it is such a blessing to watch them grow!!!

It totally makes me angry that our society is so worried about creating little spoiled brats with this "my kids are not the center of my universe." My kids know they are loved. They are very giving, loving children in return. This is a gift I've given them that they are giving me right back. Not a day goes by when my DS doesn't go "Mom? I love you!" Wow - how awesome is that??? DH and I taught them that expressing our love for each other is a beautiful thing. My own parents AND my DH grew up NOT being able to express this. How sad.


It sounds like a lot of posters here don't believe in saying "I love you." No, you didn't SAY that, but from things some of you have posted, it sure sounds like you're a bit uptight to say these beautiful words to your children. I sure hope I'm wrong. Love is not a bad thing. Kids being the center of your universe isn't a bad thing. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. But if you don't feel this way, then you can't comment on my original post because obviously previous plans are previous plans and NO child is worth changing plans for - to some of you.

Oh my, now since some of us don't agree with you, it means we don't believe in saying I love you to our children.

My son knows that he has a huge family that loves him. That love is not based on how much money they spend on him.

My family is not in a competition with his father's family. It doesn't matter to me, my son or his father, which set of grandparents has attended the most events or purchased the most gifts. As long as my son is loved unconditionally, I'm happy.

Jehovah Witnesses don't celebrate birthdays, I guess that means their children are deprived and lacking love as well.

 

[Planogirl]

They didn't bring a gift after saying they would? That is odd.